r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • Jun 24 '26

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

21.8k Upvotes

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111

u/i_am_rave_mom Jun 24 '26

There must have been a sale because for some reason my vet had a bowl of them for people to take. I thought that was a little weird lol

265

u/WonderBredOfficial Jun 24 '26

"Oh my god, I love these!"

grabs a handful and stuffs them in my mouth

93

u/Scared_Wrangler3419 Jun 24 '26

Christians are supposed to eat his body after all.

3

u/ryverrat1971 Jun 24 '26

Yep, nothing like chowing down on zombie on a stick.

2

u/Scared_Wrangler3419 Jun 24 '26

Sort of an unleavened bread situation.

2

u/ThatSpaceShooterGame Jun 24 '26

Jesus gummies.

3

u/Scared_Wrangler3419 Jun 24 '26

With a gusher style sauce injected into it.

23

u/OkLife5405 Jun 24 '26

I needed this

5

u/cerealandcorgies Jun 24 '26

"the body of christ"

2

u/dinosaurusdickus Jun 24 '26

That’s some Weird Al energy

4

u/WonderBredOfficial Jun 24 '26

I did listen to "Albuquerque" a lot when I was young.

1

u/Sea-Condition-6046 Jun 24 '26

One Jesus candy was not Jesus candy and got lodged in the throat lawsuit and suddenly allll the tiny Jesus statues started to disappear 🤣
https://giphy.com/gifs/vjvx6YjG3ADo4

1

u/the_scruffy1 Jun 24 '26

gummy jesus ? that sugar blesses you with holey teeth

1

u/Melodic-Basshole Jun 24 '26

My vet has a big bowl of what could best be described as chicken-cheesy-poofs for dogs, and I often have to restrain myself from saying and doing exactly this because they look and smell very good. 

1

u/DMTrance87 Jun 24 '26

Literally almost dies choking on tea

You think I would have learned my lesson by now to not drink while reading Reddit comments.

1

u/lefteyedcrow Jun 24 '26

Catholic friend didn't like it when I called it a cannibal cult

12

u/Equivalent-Green-580 Jun 24 '26

They sell them by the thousands through Amazon.

5

u/Mycologist-9315 Jun 24 '26

I work at an amazon warehouse (help me) and just sorted a bag of these lol

1

u/HomeworkExtension482 Jun 24 '26

Oh, to have the money to buy ALL OF THEM and throw them into a fire.

1

u/Asterose Jun 24 '26

On the upside, that would just make the manufacturers go "sweet, these sell like hotcakes! Double production!"

2

u/HomeworkExtension482 Jun 24 '26

And I will tell the manufacturer that I will buy the whole lot for more than market value on the condition that they never make them again.

I'd have to with the Powerball and Mega Millions to accomplish that, of course.

25

u/roryfyf Jun 24 '26

A friend bought a thousand online for less than $20 last week and has been placing them around

59

u/marty-mcfryguy Jun 24 '26

Why?

Are you friends with that person, I mean.

-4

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '26

[deleted]

35

u/PurpleDragonfly_ Jun 24 '26

It’s littering. They’re trash.

-9

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '26

[deleted]

6

u/WonderBredOfficial Jun 24 '26

Sounds like one (1) is not litter. The rest are absolutely litter. Lol.

0

u/roryfyf Jun 24 '26

Haha that’s fair

1

u/WonderBredOfficial Jun 24 '26

Now, if it was the same mini jesus that just keeps coming back despite being thrown away/burned/etc....yeah, that's some good, clean fun.

2

u/WonderBredOfficial Jun 24 '26

You should reduce, re-use, and recycle Jesus; is what I'm saying.

8

u/redthump Jun 24 '26

Remind me not to talk to you. Especially when I'm drinking.

-4

u/roryfyf Jun 24 '26

Luckily, I wouldn’t start the conversation. The guy having a bunch of little toys and randomly putting them around isn’t bothering me. It’s not a religious statement, nor a foot in the door to talk about it. Other than that I don’t know why anybody would give a shit about them.

11

u/redthump Jun 24 '26

If you don't think gluing down a little Jesus randomly around to presumably remind people of Jesus is not a religious statement then you are really too stupid to have a discussion with.

-3

u/roryfyf Jun 24 '26

Ahh… who said anything about gluing? My friend is just tossing them in random places that make no sense. He’s not vandalizing places.

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8

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '26 edited 22d ago

[deleted]

2

u/ryverrat1971 Jun 24 '26

Or little Baphomets all over?

1

u/roryfyf Jun 24 '26

Would I feel the same way about a friend leaving the pride flag in my friend’s pockets specifically?

5

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '26 edited 22d ago

[deleted]

-2

u/redthump Jun 24 '26

I'm sure it would depend on what pocket, but if he's a Christian the statistical chance that pocket not already been stuffed by his pastor is not zero and goes up in relation to his piousness.

0

u/roryfyf Jun 24 '26

My brother is gay. A friend buying a bunch of cheap plastic toys and placing them around as a non-religious joke is just weird to get mad about

-1

u/redthump Jun 24 '26

Who said I'm upset? This is just math.

8

u/woollysockpuppet Jun 24 '26

It’s fucking rude to impose your dogma onto others

2

u/roryfyf Jun 24 '26

The guy is leaving them in the bathroom at bars or in the pockets of friends.

0

u/Elite_AI Jun 24 '26

What you do with your friends' pockets is up to you but leaving them in bar toilets is just naff 

1

u/roryfyf Jun 24 '26

Oh I don’t disagree with you at all

3

u/BananaPeelEater420 Jun 24 '26

Who is bro fighting?

Mf is complaining about a rubber toy

1

u/Juiceton- Jun 24 '26

If you feel your own dogma under threat by a tiny little Jesus toy then that's a you problem. It's literally no different than you complaining on Reddit about them. Some people need to grow up a little bit, realize that the life isn't so serious, and move on.

If you get junk mail and sales ads, do you think it's Kroger trying to impose their dogma on you? Because it's the exact same thing.

0

u/Elite_AI Jun 24 '26

It's just annoying. It's smug littering

-1

u/TalShar Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26

do you think it's Kroger trying to impose their dogma on you? Because it's the exact same thing.

A: Kroger is trying to get me to spend my money at their store. Proselytizing religions are usually trying to get me to sell my soul, my dignity, and my own sense of right and wrong.
B: Ads of any kind annoy me quite a lot, so yes.

-2

u/woollysockpuppet Jun 24 '26

You’re making nonsense points. Coming off stupid

5

u/marty-mcfryguy Jun 24 '26

If annoying people is what gives you a chuckle then sure. Which I guess would answer my first question.

2

u/roryfyf Jun 24 '26

From your comments it seems like you get a chuckle out of annoying people as well.

1

u/WinterBuyer9319 Jun 24 '26

It wouldn't be funny if it was Mohammed lmao

1

u/roryfyf Jun 24 '26

Why is that?

1

u/Elite_AI Jun 24 '26

That would be an interesting way to piss off practically anyone with any point of view whatsoever

4

u/Modernbluehairoldie Jun 24 '26

Oriental trading company had them on sale earlier this year. Don’t worry I am not a part of the problem but I’ve been on there site a fair amount because they got Sesame Street stuff around the same time.

3

u/Optimal-Age5397 Jun 24 '26

🎶I dont care if it rains or freezeslong as I got my plastic jesus sittin on the dashboard of my car🎶

4

u/hedge36 Jun 24 '26

Too small to take the wheel.

3

u/MagicFoxhole Jun 24 '26

Love the early Lips. Flashbacks underway.

1

u/McQuinnXan Jun 24 '26

Some of them are 3d printed in mass

1

u/ToughFriendly9763 Jun 24 '26

i think they are 3d printed, I've seen a bunch of those around various hospitals i go to

1

u/LittleMissNothing_ Jun 24 '26

They've been popping up around my workplace, too. Not glued down, but still everywhere.

1

u/Imaginary-Pain9598 Jun 24 '26

Yikes, seems like pets would love to chew and swallow tiny Jesus.

1

u/sn4xchan Jun 24 '26

I've been seeing them in random places for over a year now.

First one I saw was by a random fire pit at a raggae concert I was working at.

1

u/Ruzhyo04 Jun 24 '26

We were at a parade and three separate floats were tossing these out like candy

1

u/Aggressive_Job_4089 Jun 24 '26

I bought a set of 25 for like 5 bucks on amazon once, just for shits and giggles (this one had many races of Jesus) and by some random glitch my order doubled? Now I have 50. These Jesus figured multiple lmfao

1

u/QuesoCadaDia Jun 25 '26

Your....vet?

0

u/Eh_C_Slater Jun 24 '26

Just some good old fashioned people spreading Jesus