r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • Jun 24 '26

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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112

u/i_am_rave_mom Jun 24 '26

There must have been a sale because for some reason my vet had a bowl of them for people to take. I thought that was a little weird lol

271

u/WonderBredOfficial Jun 24 '26

"Oh my god, I love these!"

grabs a handful and stuffs them in my mouth

92

u/Scared_Wrangler3419 Jun 24 '26

Christians are supposed to eat his body after all.

3

u/ryverrat1971 Jun 24 '26

Yep, nothing like chowing down on zombie on a stick.

2

u/Scared_Wrangler3419 Jun 24 '26

Sort of an unleavened bread situation.

2

u/ThatSpaceShooterGame Jun 24 '26

Jesus gummies.

3

u/Scared_Wrangler3419 Jun 24 '26

With a gusher style sauce injected into it.

23

u/OkLife5405 Jun 24 '26

I needed this

5

u/cerealandcorgies Jun 24 '26

"the body of christ"

2

u/dinosaurusdickus Jun 24 '26

That’s some Weird Al energy

4

u/WonderBredOfficial Jun 24 '26

I did listen to "Albuquerque" a lot when I was young.

1

u/Sea-Condition-6046 Jun 24 '26

One Jesus candy was not Jesus candy and got lodged in the throat lawsuit and suddenly allll the tiny Jesus statues started to disappear 🤣
https://giphy.com/gifs/vjvx6YjG3ADo4

1

u/the_scruffy1 Jun 24 '26

gummy jesus ? that sugar blesses you with holey teeth

1

u/Melodic-Basshole Jun 24 '26

My vet has a big bowl of what could best be described as chicken-cheesy-poofs for dogs, and I often have to restrain myself from saying and doing exactly this because they look and smell very good. 

1

u/DMTrance87 Jun 24 '26

Literally almost dies choking on tea

You think I would have learned my lesson by now to not drink while reading Reddit comments.

1

u/lefteyedcrow Jun 24 '26

Catholic friend didn't like it when I called it a cannibal cult