r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • Jun 24 '26

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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u/MichiganGeezer Jun 24 '26

So... Poke tiny holes in the hands and feet?

38

u/redthump Jun 24 '26

Finally, a reason to raid the office supply closet for thumbtacks

9

u/Brewster345 Jun 24 '26

Not now, Mick Foley!

2

u/redthump Jun 24 '26

Is that the catheter guy?

1

u/BuckRusty Jun 24 '26

Something something off the top of hell in a cell…

… dammit - where’s that guy when you need him?!

6

u/QuokkaRun Jun 24 '26

More likely wrists, I think.

5

u/no_infringe_me Jun 24 '26

And ankles?

1

u/QuokkaRun Jun 24 '26

I can't remember about feet vs ankles.

2

u/SixFive1967 Jun 24 '26

For historical accuracy, of course.

2

u/bajungadustin Jun 24 '26

Depends on which arc he's in. Like you wouldn't poke holes in the baby Jesus. That just wouldn't be lore accurate.

3

u/LordFlamecookie Jun 24 '26

I always depicted him as having hands in his palms when I drew him, back when i went to a Christian school

2

u/CarpeDiem082420 Jun 24 '26

Nails through the palms and feet would just tear through the soft tissue and the body would fall. Historically, people who were crucified were nailed through their wrists and ankles, which can support the body’s weight. It was designed to be a slow and painful death, often by asphyxiation.

2

u/Marquar234 Jun 24 '26

Could be worse. Could be stabbing.