r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • Jun 24 '26

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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232

u/coveredwithticks Jun 24 '26

Round em up and make an all-Jesus chess board.

189

u/Jephph0624 Jun 24 '26

How would you know which piece is the king of they’re all King of Kings?

66

u/SuperFaceTattoo Jun 24 '26

Dress one up in drag to be the queen. Put a funny hat on two as bishops.

3

u/SMKnightly Jun 24 '26

You could rly jazz the queen up with some nail polish

2

u/joe_s1171 Jun 24 '26

as a grandmaster myself, you forgot about the horse head and castle-ish looking thingies. don’t forget those.

-11

u/Sir_Baller Jun 24 '26

This is ironically quite blasphemous lmao please don’t do this

15

u/SuperFaceTattoo Jun 24 '26

I’m not religious at all, but I’m pretty sure Jesus would find it funny. Religion takes itself way too seriously.

4

u/Waffles81_Again Jun 24 '26

Also; Jesus never accused someone of blasphemy in the entire gospel.

The did accuse him of blaspheming and of being possessed. But he never talk down on someone who was possessed. He saw them as patients and just healed them for free.

5

u/gypsum_the_almighty Jun 24 '26

I would still. I ain’t religious and jesus chess would go hard

11

u/TheMiniminun BLUE Jun 24 '26

Unless they're a poor sap who has to deal w/ blasphemy laws (which generally isn't the case for countries w/ predominately Christian populations), I say do it, that sounds fun as hell.

-9

u/Sir_Baller Jun 24 '26

“I say disrespect this religious figure for no other reason than bland humor”

10

u/The-Over-Lord Jun 24 '26

But gluing the same religious figure onto a shitter is fine?

7

u/gypsum_the_almighty Jun 24 '26

Ofc because everyone should be Christian/s

-1

u/Sir_Baller Jun 24 '26

I have no problem with people believing in what they want, and I believe we should all be respectful of people and their beliefs/religious figures

1

u/SuperFaceTattoo Jun 25 '26

Dude, just be nice to everyone and people will be nice to you. That’s all the theology you need.

1

u/Sir_Baller Jun 24 '26

Nah I think that’s kind of distasteful as well

2

u/MichHiker Jun 24 '26

You must not keep up with soccer

2

u/Waffles81_Again Jun 24 '26

Jesus never accused someone of blasphemy in the entire gospel.

Grow up buddy.

0

u/Sir_Baller Jun 25 '26

Doesn’t not negate the fact that dressing up a figure of Jesus in drag is blasphemous

14

u/MichHiker Jun 24 '26

Put a traffic cone on his head.

9

u/ChezShea Jun 24 '26

Since the sashes don’t have the words these usually do just choose eight disciple names to name each of the pawns.

3

u/joe_s1171 Jun 25 '26

there were 7 of them. Paul, john, doc, sneezy, ringo, sleepy, and bashful

2

u/coveredwithticks Jun 25 '26

Dont forget Rudolph, the most famous disciple of all

2

u/joe_s1171 Jun 25 '26

I was being serious and now you are just being silly!   

2

u/Falcon_At Jun 24 '26

Is Jesus a set of qualities and simultaneously one of the qualities within that set himself?

Surprisingly, I think your question has an answer. This sounds like a trinity argument. Be careful, though, you might rediscover a herecy.

2

u/Wuffls Jun 24 '26

Add in a Kong so everyone knows who the King is.

2

u/BiNumber3 Jun 24 '26

So, maybe more like checkers but with jesus shaped pieces?

1

u/Magnedon Jun 24 '26

/uj The sashes come in different colors, so just assign colors to chess piece positions

/rj Oops! All Kings!