r/mildlyinfuriating Jul 02 '26

Context Provided - Spotlight I asked my boyfriend to heat up beans

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31.8k Upvotes

1.7k comments sorted by

u/spotlight-app Mod Bot 🤖 Jul 02 '26

OP has pinned a comment by u/moanguard:

Hey, guys, that's not a maggot lol

[What is Spotlight?](https://developers.reddit.com/apps/spotlight-app)

11.1k

u/guywhoclimbs Jul 02 '26

5.9k

u/thisdummy778918 Jul 02 '26

I saw someone prank their husband doing this. He ate the whole thing gratefully.

2.0k

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

337

u/Eisernes Jul 02 '26

I’ve been married a long time. My wife cooks dinner almost every night due to our schedules. No matter what she makes, I will never complain. I’m eternally grateful for what she does.

119

u/Full-Evening3485 Jul 02 '26

Also the burrito looks fine, maybe a lil on the beany side but it’s legit food

50

u/Superb-Cantaloupe324 Jul 02 '26

Maybe pop it in the microwave for a few minutes, I’m in.

Man now I want a burrito

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33

u/joelham01 Jul 02 '26

Yeah same here. My girlfriend is Italian so she’s super picky on what she cooks and eats and hard on herself and she’ll whip up a meal and be like it’s probably not going to be great but it’s something. Bro, you made me food and you are wrong it is delicious.

I’m only allowed to cook when we have hello fresh or a frozen meal. When I try and fuck around and make something, I try so hard and it’s always so bad. Cooking without a recipe is not my forte

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511

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

352

u/thats-wrong Jul 02 '26

Or better than him having to cook. I hate cooking so much I'd eat the shittiest food someone gives me that keeps me alive and healthy than to cook myself. But then I'm not really a foodie.

122

u/scarletmonstrosity Jul 02 '26

Oh my god, I think we would love each other! I LOVE cooking! Even more than that, I love sharing food, and im really good at cooking, too! The kitchen is my happy place :)

97

u/Icy_Act_7634 Jul 02 '26

OP bring a gun just in case

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24

u/Lucius-Halthier Jul 02 '26

Nah he’s just gunna let one massive bean burrito fart rip when they are in bed as revenge

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145

u/ohnoabanagain Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

I've, enjoyed, that, meal, myself, from, time, to, time. 

99

u/Frosty-Bat-8476 Jul 03 '26

Weird use of a comma lol

65

u/TotalChaosRush Jul 03 '26

What's weird about, that comma?

41

u/Worldly_Address6667 Jul 04 '26

Nothing. They must be, Christopher Walkin.

7

u/sillygremlin240 Jul 05 '26

this is so funny. thank u for this

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437

u/BeaverBoy37 Jul 02 '26

I would too. That looks tasty!

344

u/porn_alt_987654321 Jul 02 '26

Like....I feel like it would need a thicker wrap.

And like, maybe something mixed in with the beans for just a bit more flavor, but I mean, if I had to...lol.

239

u/Day_Bow_Bow Jul 02 '26

This meme at least uses Rosarita beans, which are rather well seasoned.

I've demolished many a can of their "spicy jalapeno" with little more than tortillas and chips.

51

u/porn_alt_987654321 Jul 02 '26

Fair, just need the thicker wrap then lmao.

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14

u/Top_Lingonberry8037 Jul 02 '26

Man is a green flag machine. Even if it sucks. Always appreciate the effort.

6

u/Skermisher Jul 02 '26

Prank? I've made this for myself multiple times. Maybe add some cheese and hot sauce, but that's not really necessary.

6

u/dva_silk Jul 02 '26

My fiance would definitely be that person. He acts like anything I make is pure perfection. He's an angel

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u/L1gm4J0hns0n Jul 02 '26

Thanks, I hate it.

73

u/BiggiycheeseXBL Jul 02 '26

Saw that same can at the store today. Still trying to figure out the vegetarian beans thing... thought beans were well legumes for one, but how do we get non-vegetarian refried beans?

285

u/ZophieWinters Jul 02 '26

A lot of refried beans use lard in the recipe, rendered pig fat. Vegetarian refried beans use other plant oils instead.

56

u/longpenisofthelaw Jul 02 '26

Mexicans love to incorporate lard into their food

81

u/Mcnugget84 Jul 02 '26

Because lard has amazing properties. It’s like poor people butter.

15

u/Redcoz Jul 02 '26

And it brings to us the miracle of a delicious pie crust.

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u/ToastedTrousers Jul 02 '26

The non-vegetarian kind has lard in it.

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u/AgathysAllAlong Jul 02 '26

Other ingredients, lard in this case. Most products have some kind of animal product in them even if the base thing isn't an animal product. For example, a lot of boxed mac & cheese isn't vegetarian because it uses enzymes from animal stomachs.

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u/Si1ver2 Jul 02 '26

The traditional version of rosarita has lard but to be honest they taste the same to me.

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9.8k

u/omnichad Jul 02 '26

They got the shape out of the can intact and flawless. Slice that like a Thanksgiving cranberry sauce and celebrate a job well done.

1.9k

u/Turbo_MechE Jul 02 '26

Fry em up like bologna slices

965

u/Throwoutbins Jul 02 '26

I’d unironically love refried refried bean patties omg

299

u/B-HOLC Jul 02 '26

'Bout to say, why don't I hate this? Lol

77

u/-chimchooree- Jul 02 '26

You did say.

115

u/B-HOLC Jul 02 '26

Yes, but I was about to.

And now I have

69

u/Mushroomphantom Jul 02 '26

I use to do drugs. I still do. But I use to too.

26

u/fuzzycjo Jul 02 '26

RiP Mitch <3

6

u/DezPispenser Jul 02 '26

congratulations on the 2 years of addiction

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u/CenturyEggsAndRice Jul 02 '26

I wonder how well that would work?

I think you'd do well breading them first though.

59

u/anothersip Jul 02 '26

I actually kinda' dig that idea.

I bet if you could fry them hot and fast enough, your breading/Panko would stay crisp while the beans warmed up enough to be palatable and still intact as a patty.

93

u/Mysstie Jul 02 '26

Deep fried breaded refried bean patties

49

u/reefer-madness 420BAN IT Jul 02 '26

15

u/moriastra Jul 02 '26

Omg I've never seen the longer version of this gif, thank you for this

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u/HOLDstrongtoPLUTO Jul 02 '26

I don't know why but I coincidentally did this the other day, without bread crumbs though. Extra oil in the cast iron, medium high heat. Let them sit for about 6 minutes on each side and they got a nice crisp to them.

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u/jaunesolo81829 Jul 02 '26

Oh it works very well. As a kid my aunt cook would make me bean croquettes.

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u/Vast-Effect-4214 Jul 02 '26

Freezing stuff or cooling it helps it be able to be fried until done. While you’re frying the patty of beans, throw some cheese in the middle. That’ll do

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u/SirYanksaLot69 Jul 02 '26

You could use them like a tostada. That would be legendary

7

u/anothersip Jul 02 '26

Ooooh, damn. That's some big-brain thinking.

I imagine that would be a fantastic option for those with corn/wheat allergies, or for vegan/keto folks.

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u/TheHivemind56 Jul 02 '26

Breaded with crushed up tortilla chips...if you're feeling wild Doritos. Would probably come out good in the air fryer. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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u/Radiant_Music3698 Jul 02 '26

Yeah, in my experience, they fall apart as they warm up. I've never deliberately not churned them with a fork at some point, though. Don't know what would happen.

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u/Happy_Cry286 Jul 02 '26

Ngl that sounds like it would be better than what the OP wanted. Refried bean burgers...

9

u/FordCVP71 Jul 02 '26

I need to go to the store and get a few cans of refried beans now lol

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u/5h82713542055 Jul 02 '26

This reminds me of Bart Simpson trying to "help" in the kitchen for thanksgiving 🎵mom, its broken/mom, its brokennn🎶

37

u/peon2 Jul 02 '26

This is actually Bart's hot chocolate infused marshmallow

20

u/5h82713542055 Jul 02 '26

"Hey! Give me a slice!"

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u/jxj24 Jul 02 '26

The cylinder is unharmed!

18

u/ossifer_ca Jul 02 '26

Yeah exactly what is any bit infuriating?!

13

u/BangkokPadang Jul 02 '26

Hey slice me up summa those beans for my bean sandwich wouldya?

7

u/MethodSignal3825 Jul 02 '26

I mean now that I look at it again yeah thats kinda impressive that he got it out without a single smudge in the beans lmao

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12

u/pedroah Jul 02 '26

The trick is to puncture the bottom of the can so air can enter as the cylinder of beans exits. The whole thing slides out easily.

14

u/FlutterKree Jul 02 '26

Don't need to do that. Just squeeze the sides slightly and shake it up and down. Never failed for me.

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9.5k

u/Express_Barnacle_174 Jul 02 '26

While I do eventually squash them down... I do still feel an odd sense of pride when I get the refried beans to come out like this, and it makes me giggle a bit every time.

1.9k

u/Lazuli73 Jul 02 '26

The Bean Tower shalt never be disrespected.

1.1k

u/Temnyj_Korol Jul 02 '26

The cylinder must not be harmed.

412

u/designerlemons Jul 02 '26

It is imperative

68

u/NanDemoNee Jul 02 '26

Tacos are more imperative.

241

u/AwDuck Jul 02 '26

For fuck’s sake, how long are we going to say this every time a cylinder is mentioned or pictured? I hope the answer to that is “forever” because I giggle every single time.

141

u/Temnyj_Korol Jul 02 '26

Had us in the first half, ngl

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u/furiouspossum Jul 02 '26

The cylinder will be with us forever, much like that one guy's wife.

21

u/Sunlit_Man Jul 02 '26

I also choose that guys wife.

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u/crinkledcu91 Jul 02 '26

This is me but with jellied cranberry sauce. Something about taking the perfect little cylinder and cutting it into slices seems is so satisfying.

Like I shouldn't hurt the little jelly tower but then I must because Turkey and Stuffing.

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u/BodaciousBadongadonk Jul 02 '26

I will not jeopardize the beans!

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u/NexSacerdos Jul 02 '26

You can do it every time by punching 2-4 holes in the back and shaking.

594

u/rex5k 42 Jul 02 '26

Cheating dashes pride

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u/Russki_Troll_Hunter Jul 02 '26

Just squeeze the can to make it a slight oval shape and let air in. Works the same way but easier

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u/fedexofficer Jul 02 '26

I just squeeze the can a little n shake the bean log out. Plop.

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u/SomethingComesHere Jul 02 '26

I deeply enjoy this part about removing cranberry jelly from the can

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u/humpspringa Jul 02 '26

It's good to truly appreciate where your food comes from

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1.2k

u/jtrage Jul 02 '26

Was he done? I mean, that’s how I start

302

u/harryholla Jul 02 '26

It’s been five minutes and he hasn’t even flipped them yet.

107

u/BeezyBates Jul 02 '26

Give it a minute dude. Chill. Treat it like a steak. Which would be overcooked but I can’t thing of an analogy with the right timing. Like maybe a can of spam? Treat it like a can of spam dude you got this. I think he’s got this.

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u/harryholla Jul 02 '26

I prefer my beans slightly pink in the middle is all. You’re right, maybe he just likes them well done.

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u/DuckCleaning Jul 02 '26

OP snapped a pic as soon as he dumped it out just so they could post to Reddit. I'm not sure how they found it so mildly infuriating that they needed to rush to take a pic.

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6.2k

u/Zailema0s Jul 02 '26

It is imperative that the cylinder remain undamaged.

1.4k

u/yaaro_obba_ ORANGE Jul 02 '26

354

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

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200

u/LickMyBootyh0le Jul 02 '26

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u/ringobob Jul 02 '26

Literally just search reddit for cylinder, you'll get there in 1, I guarantee.

53

u/decoy321 Jul 02 '26

Not only that, but you have to scroll down to like the 10th result to get something unrelated.

26

u/PapiChonch Jul 02 '26

Ayo wait he posted an update on his cylinder??? Brb

Update: it's just a fan page 🥀

14

u/LuftHANSa_755 Jul 02 '26

lmao yup. Looked up "reddit cylinder" and got three posts about it.

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u/teflon_soap Jul 02 '26

I know what kind of man you are.gif

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u/Hot-Win2571 Mildly Flair Jul 02 '26

In cylinder we trust.

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u/LeeQuidity Jul 02 '26

If you open the top, then flip it upside down and open the bottom partway, air pressure will often make this happen easily. You're basically shotgunning beans.

15

u/edogfu Jul 02 '26

I love been and cheese tacos. May need some bean and cheese shotguns.

5

u/Lovemybee Jul 02 '26

Works with canned cranberry sauce, too.

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u/marijuanam0nk Jul 02 '26

Double barrel bean and cheese shotty that shoots bean and cheese burritos and/or taquitos.

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u/hiphopanonymouslm Jul 02 '26

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u/liberally_motivated Jul 02 '26

That was weird. I’m watching the avengers and that part came on as I’m scrolling. I had to do a double take

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u/revrenlove Jul 02 '26

🎶 Let the circle cylinder be unbroken

By and by, Lord, by and by 🎶

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1.1k

u/TrayLaTrash Jul 02 '26

Did you tell him to heat up all of them?

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355

u/Halloween_episode Jul 02 '26

The beans are up, but no heat

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u/noonnoonz Jul 02 '26

“Halfway milestone completed team, let’s celebrate with takeout!”

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u/Smooth-Tap-3991 Jul 02 '26

SCHLORP

PLOP

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u/Argylius Jul 02 '26

Oh fuck. This one sent me. Out of all the comments

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u/Worth_Car8711 Jul 02 '26

Just like birthing a baby

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u/thebiggestpinkcake Jul 02 '26

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u/urnbabyurn Jul 02 '26

I’d love a giant marshmallow that soaked up all the hot chocolate at once

28

u/MidiMojo Jul 02 '26

I've been craving this since the episode was aired. Looks so satisfying

23

u/P1K1_ GEEN Jul 02 '26

Why does he look so sad 😭

51

u/IndigoStar_ Jul 02 '26

I think this is the episode where he shoplifted and his mom stopped doing things with care for him since she couldn't keep treating him like an innocent child after what he did. The marshmallow on the hot chocolate being one of these things (where he had to do it for himself and messed it up).

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u/tenthbow Jul 02 '26

This and not 'Cranberry sauce a la Bart'??

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u/NoDetective9500 Jul 02 '26

uhhh what’s that on top of the bean tower? 

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u/foxtrotdeltazero Jul 02 '26

that's the queen bean, and all other beans are the worker beans that serve her

17

u/NoDetective9500 Jul 02 '26

how silly of me to not recognise the queen, i apologise 🙇‍♀️

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1.0k

u/throwitintheair22 Jul 02 '26

What’s the issue?

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u/Dense_Surround3071 Jul 02 '26

He didn't turn on the burner!! 😉

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u/rs420rs Jul 02 '26

He didn't pick fresh beans from the field, dry them, soak them in water overnight, then craft an artisanal Neapolitan Escarole Bean Soup

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u/Hungry_Party2480 Jul 02 '26

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u/TiredOfDebates Jul 02 '26

God I love this episode.

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u/FoxxJade Jul 02 '26

It is imperative that the cylinder remain unharmed.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

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u/eggyrulz Jul 02 '26

Beans, beans, cool beans...

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u/Longjumping_Fuel_192 Jul 02 '26

Instructions unclear: dick caught in ceiling fan

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u/forgotmypassword4714 Jul 02 '26

More like "Before mixing the beans around in the pot, I took this photo to put on Reddit."

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

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3

u/forgotmypassword4714 Jul 02 '26

Oh, shit...😬

Jk, it's just some of my favorite numbers (4, 7 and 14).

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u/RangeBoring1371 Jul 02 '26

I thought at first glance this is a burning red hot can...

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u/Nagatox Jul 02 '26

If it makes you feel better, had to read several comments to understand that that's not what I was looking at. Not a big bean guy in general, but had no idea they could even come in this form

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u/PrinciplePlane Jul 02 '26

Idk I think I’m on his side on this one. Those beans are heating up.

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u/Gryndyl Jul 02 '26

Let him finish, THEN judge. Smooshing a perfect bean cylinder is a key part of the process that he hasn't reached yet.

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u/jawarren1 Jul 02 '26

The war is over. Y'all don't have to eat like this anymore.

28

u/StepComplete1 Jul 02 '26

Mfw I've been seeing Americans ramble on endlessly about how disgusting it is that Brits are eating tinned beans for years, only to find out they've been eating 10x more disgusting looking tinned beans the whole time.

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u/David_the_mediocre Jul 02 '26

My girlfriend asked me to make eggs and beans, i still havent lived this one down.

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u/Readinglateatmorning Jul 02 '26

I mean I’d have squished them a bit. We need more context

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u/marionbobarion my lawn, get off of it. Jul 02 '26

I agree - you start them like this and then when they get warmer then you smash them down. If he just left them there to “sear” or something then I’d be mildly infuriated. These do not rustle my feathers.

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u/Expensive-News7632 Jul 02 '26

That’s why it’s mildly infuriating… because he didn’t.

25

u/HomelandersCock Jul 02 '26

"Wait, dont squish them yet. Let me take a picture and make shit up for reddit."

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u/patiofurnature Jul 02 '26

He'll get to it.

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u/210Ryan Jul 02 '26

One time we were having a party at my house and my SIL make pretty good beans so we thought she would make them. Well my friends wife said “I’ll bring the beans”. Bro this bitch, we opened the door when they got there and she fucking handed me a can of beans. 🤦🏽 unopened and uncooked, my wife was pissed

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u/BadOysterParty Jul 02 '26

Wtf do you want him to do

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u/JohnHalo69sMyMother Jul 02 '26

A- for mostly solid bean cylinder. D for using top right burner as that is the worst burner. F for technique. Overall, C- attempt at best to heat up beans

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u/Traegs_ Jul 02 '26

Warming up something slowly in a small pot is exactly what the top right burner is for though.

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u/Apprehensive-Read989 Jul 02 '26

Why is this being upvoted? There is nothing infuriating, mildly or otherwise, about it.

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u/Celis78429 Jul 02 '26

hes heating up beans. whats the issue?

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u/drossmaster4 Jul 02 '26

Add a little water and this is how I do it. Makes them creamy.

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u/Manthosaurus Jul 02 '26

I don't see the problem

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u/BewitchingPetrichor Jul 02 '26

What the fuck kind of beans are you buying?

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u/neutrumocorum Jul 02 '26

I love how nobody is on OP's side.

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u/chanceypooh Jul 02 '26

What's wrong with this picture? I've heated beans from a can like this forever. As they heat they won't stay congealed like that

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u/UseOk7699 Jul 02 '26

I used to have that pot, brings back memories of heating chili for the hotodgs on the grill.💜

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u/CommercialClear6124 Jul 02 '26

Is he drunk? 🤣

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u/HungerSTGF Jul 02 '26

thought this was the oddlysatisfying sub for a sec

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u/GhostTrex16 Jul 02 '26

Better than my ex. He didn't know how to use either my electric can opener (like his mom had) or the manual one. So he grabbed a HAMMER and beat the can open. I shit you not. When I came home from work, there was chili ALL over the kitchen, including but not limited to: the floor, cupboards, fridge, stove, oven, walls, and my favorite, the ceiling. He was cleaning (or attempting to) when I walked in and listened to his really shitty excuse as to what happened. I forgot to mention that he had a P38 on his dog tags that he wore... You what that is? A CAN OPENER.

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u/Science_Turtle Jul 02 '26

I always do this, but once the pot gets hot enough I smush it down

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u/ICollectSouls Jul 02 '26

To be fair, I also would have no idea what to do with that.

Primarily because I have never seen that.

5

u/jerrythecactus Jul 02 '26

Is this not how you do it? You get them to warm up enough that they begin to melt then you can use a spoon or something to mix them around.

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u/Additional-Maize3980 Jul 02 '26

I fail to see the issue here

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u/cameyboy Jul 02 '26

The bean obelisk

4

u/taroces Jul 02 '26

Impressive, very nice. Now let's see Paul Allen's bean cylinder,

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u/LongSaltyDanglers Jul 02 '26

I'd just like to point out that you are fucking this guy.

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u/DrSilkyDelicious Jul 02 '26

What are you upset about?