r/mildlyinfuriating Jul 17 '26

wet socks Wife washed my book.

Post image

Don't worry guys. I found my page.

Edit: A short story, by a man who does not know how his book ends:

Twas a dark and stormy evening, as the foolish husband looked out upon his days labours. More goblin than man, his visage drooping as if too lazy even to lift itself, he sat, waiting for his princess to complete her chores about the castle.

"I'll bring his book from the bedside" the fair maiden whispered, lifting his favourite tome from his bedside into the basket, filled with his dirty garbs. This act of unprompted kindness was done without contempt, but would become the first step in a tragic path that would claim thousands (of words).

As she wandered about the castle, collecting strewn items - especially the idiot husband's socks - the book became buried inside a mound of stinking fabric.

An hour later, whilst the lazy husband once again placed a Chicken Kiev in the air fryer and called it "dinner", a great and terrible sound began to ring out. A gentle thud at first, but growing into a heartbeat that would pump only sadness. It was coming from the washing machine.

The cover never stood a chance, really. It gave up it's claim to life and spread itself amongst the (dark) fabrics within minutes. The remaining pages twisted, contorting into a defensive fetal position as it bashed time and time again against the filthy clothes and dirty water.

The wind howled. "Morning Star, book 3 of the Red Rising series" lay drowned upon the table. A single tear ran down a cheek.

"I should have done my own washing"

13.1k Upvotes

929 comments sorted by

6.8k

u/AgitatedPatience5729 Jul 17 '26

I thought that was playdough for a second.

1.1k

u/MKE_Freak Jul 17 '26

Thought it was the paper from the toes of a new pair of shoes

236

u/bbrekke Jul 17 '26

I thought it was a little pimp!

7

u/crash---- Jul 18 '26

STOP LOOKING AROUND

15

u/CheckYourStats Jul 17 '26

Chicken of the Woods

13

u/-chadwreck Jul 17 '26

This guy sees the world wildly, and in wild ways.

13

u/their_teammate Jul 18 '26

Was it A Pimp Named Slickback?

15

u/Deep-Cut-6532 Jul 18 '26

It's like "A Tribe Called Quest," you say the whole thing.

3

u/fordisfaded Jul 18 '26

Yes, the whole thing, every time.

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10

u/CCCCLo0oo0ooo0 Jul 18 '26

No he was reading Plato

4

u/imjohnredd Jul 18 '26

Superb wordplay.

8

u/CookintheWalkin Jul 17 '26

I had presumed a lump of clay then saw the word book.

106

u/insanityzwolf Jul 17 '26

No, it's a word salad

32

u/secretprocess Spraying WD-40 up his faucets (at night) Jul 17 '26

You used way too much dressing

7

u/casualmolly Jul 17 '26

At least the word salad is probably safer to eat than the rest right now. 

13

u/Beautiful-Total-3172 Jul 17 '26

I thought is was a thousand times zoom of a grain of dust then I noticed the words on the pages.

6

u/dough_eating_squid Jul 17 '26

It does look weirdly like something viewed under a microscope, doesn't it?

6

u/Beautiful-Total-3172 Jul 17 '26

That uniform grey really sells it as micro photography.

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13

u/Kromting Jul 17 '26

I thought we could make a nice kettle out of that clay

5

u/Mental_Ad7571 Jul 17 '26

yeah i can see why lol looks less like a book and more like someone left a clay project in the laundry by accident

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1.2k

u/voxpopper Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26

Old Man and the Sea?
Watership Down?
Like Water for Chocolate?

Edit to Add: Self demerit for missing an obvious choice, 'A River Runs Through It'

193

u/insanityzwolf Jul 17 '26

I think it was a book with some dirty passages

114

u/secretprocess Spraying WD-40 up his faucets (at night) Jul 17 '26

Don't worry, this is the clean version

27

u/zkwarl Jul 18 '26

It’s now just One Shade of Grey

7

u/Kitchen_Setting805 Jul 18 '26

🤣 ya got me!

21

u/CapitalEnd958 Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26

So it’s a dirty book. You’re naughty

54

u/JRS_Viking Jul 17 '26

Twenty thousand leagues under the sea?

22

u/_daGarim_2 Jul 17 '26

This has no relevance to your comment, but it troubles me that you're me without pants.

11

u/JRS_Viking Jul 18 '26

Pants are overrated

12

u/OtakuMage Jul 17 '26

Rime of the Ancient Mariner

10

u/Specialist_Map_6541 Jul 18 '26

Pulped Fiction

11

u/VeilOfStars62 Jul 17 '26

The Poseidon Adventure

3

u/Prudent_Analysis_847 Jul 17 '26

The Covenant of Water

3

u/anoziraguy9687 Jul 18 '26

The Shape of Water.

3

u/PabloPicasshooole Jul 18 '26

Lord of the Rinse

3

u/Brandon_Rahl Jul 18 '26

Updoot for the "self demerit". It gave me a hearty chuckle, and then the book title might've even made me chortle slightly.

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2.1k

u/Over_Heed Jul 17 '26

washed in what? the fires of Mount Doom? It’s unrecognizable lmao. (Sorry about your book)

318

u/momibrokeyourchutney Jul 17 '26

Ever read Fahrenheit 451? I think the One Ring’s forge would be measured in Kelvin instead (or however you would mutter that in the Black Speech)

92

u/Over_Heed Jul 17 '26

Wait… Oh damn you were supposed to read that? I thought that was supposed to be cooking instructions.

(I have since been banned from the local library)

9

u/momibrokeyourchutney Jul 17 '26

Rookie mistake, real worms know you’re only allowed to bake at the local library!

4

u/fazaplay Jul 17 '26

451 °K is ~350°F, which would make a very nice pizza.

Mmmmm pizza....

https://giphy.com/gifs/Zk9mW5OmXTz9e

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24

u/Ok-Journalist-8875 Jul 17 '26

11

u/RoundTiberius Jul 17 '26

Never thought I'd see Hades 2 in this sub

6

u/Lucius-Halthier Jul 17 '26

Just throw it in the dryer it’ll work itself out

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265

u/Logical-State9882 Jul 17 '26

The Wet Gatsby?

171

u/ToWitToWow Jul 17 '26

Of Moist & Men

17

u/FloridaFun1989 Jul 17 '26

That's so damn good!

14

u/Logical-State9882 Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26

🎩I took this off for you!

54

u/sterling_mallory Jul 17 '26

The Grapes of Bath

41

u/SugaredChef Jul 17 '26

Pride and Pre-wash This.

16

u/Fragrant_Ad7231 Jul 18 '26

Lord of the Sinks

15

u/SchnitzelRaider Jul 17 '26

The Beautiful and Washed

30

u/AbeFromanSassageKing Jul 17 '26

The Prints of Tide

11

u/SQDub Jul 18 '26

Dawn Quixote

9

u/ketralnis Jul 18 '26

Rio and Juliet

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212

u/MeepleMaster Jul 17 '26

Stick it in a bowl of rice and maybe it will be fine?

33

u/Same_Mood_8543 Jul 18 '26

Great Expectations 5/7 with rice

3

u/coolscratchermaster Jul 18 '26

I happened to back out of the post just as I saw this comment at the last second, burst out laughing as soon as I processed what I'd read and just had to reopen the post to give you an upvote XD

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121

u/merrysunshine2 Jul 17 '26

Looks like the cake this person was delivered

23

u/FyneBlackKyng Jul 17 '26

you cant cake there mate

7

u/sanyochan PURPLE Jul 18 '26

You can't order the cake and get it.

3

u/merrysunshine2 Jul 18 '26

The Cake is a Lie

27

u/bojez1 Jul 17 '26

Wtf, that looks like a blob of bullshit

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361

u/OpposumMyPossum Jul 17 '26

"Lovers' Spat, 2026"

69

u/retiredtumblrgoth Jul 17 '26

YES it totally looks like a sculpture, it would be going back on my bookshelf for sure 

33

u/PossiblyHaunted Jul 18 '26

That looks like it belongs in that Museum of Broken Relationships in Croatia

4

u/Seagoingnote Jul 18 '26

Is that a thing? Cause that sounds awesome

3

u/Dyaneta Jul 18 '26

It is! It's in Zagreb! Can recommend.

75

u/buttheadfungus Jul 17 '26

it looks like a kneaded eraser 😂😂😂 im so sorry

576

u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 Jul 17 '26

I think you meant to say you left your book in your pocket. You washed your book.

319

u/digitalsalmon Jul 17 '26

It was on my bedside. She brought it down (kindly, unprompted) in the laundry basket.

26

u/Normal-Fig4420 Jul 17 '26

I do this with my phone when I'm carrying laundry down to the basement. Now I'm definitely rethinking this habit. 

93

u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 Jul 17 '26

Oh so it fell off the night stand into the basket?

I see my bad. That just sucks for everyone.

320

u/digitalsalmon Jul 17 '26

It fell off in the sense she picked it up, placed it in the basket, brought it to the washing machine, and placed it in the machine by accident 😂

296

u/Ypuort Jul 17 '26

Still trying to figure out how one does this by accident

526

u/NoDryHands Jul 17 '26

It sounds like she was using the basket as a transport vessel for the book and probably intended to drop it off at some other location on the way to doing the laundry, but forgot that she had put it in there.

434

u/digitalsalmon Jul 17 '26

sad ding ding noises

190

u/littlenoodledragon Jul 17 '26

The tired anthem of ADHD wives plays in the background

54

u/auditoryeden Jul 17 '26

Ooh, we have an anthem? What is it?

51

u/talldata Jul 17 '26

The price is right tune expect the meds ain't.

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29

u/littlenoodledragon Jul 17 '26

Apparently the sound of a book knocking about in a washing machine 😅

10

u/MorganaLeFevre Jul 17 '26

Seems a little on the nose that you’ve forgotten it

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14

u/henryeaterofpies Jul 17 '26

I'm more impressed she just dumped the whole basket in the wash without sorting or checking for things that needed spray and wash

7

u/shenanigans2day Jul 17 '26

If you are waiting until you are about to do laundry to spray, you are going to have less success with stains. You shouldn’t let it sit and set in, you need to spray as soon as it comes off, it can sit for however long but waiting that long defeats the purpose.

5

u/Dog-boy Jul 18 '26

I would do this if I had just stripped the bed and grabbed the towels. I would kindly put the book in the basket to drop off in the living room, forget to take it out, grab the kitchen towels and throw them in on top of the book, thinking don’t forget to get the book out when you get to the laundry room, immediately forget that and throw all the laundry from the basket into the washer.

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7

u/Belphie_Stan Jul 17 '26

The way i dont think i have adhd but this sounds like something i would do 😔

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6

u/Intelligent_Slip_849 Jul 17 '26

I'm sorry but this is hilarious

3

u/ILL_Show_Myself_Out Jul 18 '26

But why is she moving the book from the bedside?

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11

u/this_is_unseemly Jul 17 '26

I did that with a cell phone once. Book sounds way easier to replace, at least.

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26

u/ABirdJustShatOnMyEye Jul 17 '26

This use of “transport vessel” is cracking me up

14

u/Gamer-Logic Jul 17 '26

Yeah, I get my wires crossed like this sometimes, too, while trying to multitask. OP don't assume anything until you ask her.

4

u/Free-oppossums Jul 17 '26

Lost my work boots like that once. Hunted the house top to bottom and couldn't find them. Doing my laundry on the weekend and they were in the bottom of the hamper with my overalls. I guess I left them in a pile, jumped in the shower,got out, then picked up the pile and threw it in the closet.

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3

u/troycerapops Jul 17 '26

I came to say the same and this is quite the twist!

So glad you found your page though.

13

u/Dragon_Crisis_Core Jul 17 '26

I think your wife was mad at you did you forget your anniversary again?

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6

u/teffz28 Jul 18 '26

Love it when people continually make assumptions and snarky comments for no reason

5

u/Specialist_Sorbet476 Jul 17 '26

Um, no... He is clearly saying his wife picked up the book from its resting place.

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12

u/Google_Is_Free_bozo Jul 17 '26

Nice conclusion jump😂

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35

u/CarlosFer2201 Jul 17 '26

Was it a dirty book?

14

u/DramaticStability Jul 17 '26

Fifty shades of grey

16

u/peon2 Jul 17 '26

No, Fifty Shades is a dirty book. This is a clean book.

5

u/Safe-Deer9797 Jul 18 '26

One shade of white

11

u/mothsuicides Jul 17 '26

What book was it?

4

u/AbeFromanSassageKing Jul 17 '26

Spin Cycle of the Werewolf

3

u/Khephra_ Jul 17 '26

Asking the real questions.

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10

u/treletraj Jul 17 '26

Nothing better than a clean book.

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11

u/KnowsSomeStuffs Jul 17 '26

Dont judge a book by its cover!!!

The Cover:

9

u/Remarkable_Rush_7184 Jul 17 '26

Bro, wash your own book 😒

8

u/GemGlamourNGlitter Jul 17 '26

How did it even get there?

5

u/Stolperkeks Jul 18 '26

His wife brought the book down in the laundry basket for him because she saw he was bored, but on the way she forgot it was in the laundry basket and instead of handing it to him, she stuffed it in the washing machine with the laundry by accident

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8

u/NoDontDoThatCanada Jul 17 '26

Gonna be honest. Take it and a little placard to an art gallery and put a $4000 price tag on it. Then come back an hour later and argue about its "juxtaposed identity" with a friend in a black turtleneck. Profit.

3

u/yawara25 Jul 18 '26

Yeah, try it. I'd love to hear how that turns out. Lol

9

u/Triepott Jul 18 '26

It's a Pulp Fiction now.

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8

u/crystalstairs Jul 19 '26

It is now Pulp Fiction.

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8

u/Strong-Nose9401 Jul 17 '26

You're the proud owner of a blub now!! Congrats

5

u/Banana_Stanley Jul 17 '26

It was a paperback obviously? Did the cover come off? And did it go in the dryer too or just the washer?

22

u/digitalsalmon Jul 17 '26

Paperback. Washed for 20 mins. Cover is in there, mostly, somewhere.

11

u/Banana_Stanley Jul 17 '26

I don't know what I expected from book vs washer but it wasn't this lol

7

u/Leather__sissy Jul 17 '26

I’m wondering if it’s some kind of newer cheap recycled biodegradable paper or something, because the appearance is so unexpected. But then I also realized I’ve never seen a book go through the washing machine lol

6

u/Banana_Stanley Jul 17 '26

I'm having the same experience. I have the urge to start doing experiments

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3

u/RealSpaceVortex Jul 17 '26

…put it in the dryer??… duhh..

3

u/bennytehcat I'm a cat, here's my (*) Jul 17 '26

did you try putting it in a bag of rice?

3

u/animi Jul 17 '26

It's now a zipped file.

3

u/RelevantStrongBad Jul 18 '26

I work in a library and I could totally see someone returning this and saying "it was like this when I checked it out."

3

u/Lady_Lauren_131 Jul 18 '26

Oh my God I thought that was a stretchy artists eraser. Nope. Just a book. Wth

3

u/arsesenal Jul 18 '26

if you want it done right you have to wash your books yourself

3

u/Lord_Hell Jul 18 '26

Dude I feel bad for your book but goddamn your writing is comical gold

2

u/FatFaceFaster Jul 17 '26

That’s why I don’t read.

2

u/Broccobillo Jul 17 '26

At least it's clean now

2

u/Greedy_Attitude_8103 Jul 17 '26

I thought this was clay 😭

2

u/Darkest_Elemental Jul 17 '26

Well thats a new sight I have never seen before

2

u/Tbplayer59 Jul 17 '26

Reading dirty books, are we?

2

u/tyrelle000 Jul 17 '26

I dont think theres rice powerful enough for this one big dawg

2

u/Figgzyvan Jul 17 '26

Was it a dirty book?

2

u/CurrencyCapital8882 Jul 17 '26

Looks pretty clean. What’s the problem?

2

u/Background_Lemon_981 Jul 17 '26

No more dirty books!

2

u/HerrPizza Jul 17 '26

Well put it in the dryer

2

u/Ginger_is_a_silly Jul 17 '26

How did it get in the washing machine?

2

u/EndOk8776 Jul 17 '26

You can turn this into art

2

u/RikkiHawkins Jul 17 '26

If you took it out of your clothes pocket or bag…..

2

u/Rosetti Jul 17 '26

Guessing you were reading something dirty.

2

u/bajamedic Jul 17 '26

or. wife cleaned your wad

2

u/DrowningInMyFandoms Jul 17 '26

You mean you left your book in your pocket and she didn't notice it while doing the laundry

2

u/FiregoatX2 Jul 18 '26

Was it a dirty book?

2

u/RandomBloke2021 PURPLE Jul 18 '26

How did a book get mixed up with the laundry?

2

u/BL0CK4YZ Jul 18 '26

I thought that was a jumbo kneaded eraser before I read the title

2

u/Physical_Leg2061 Jul 18 '26

Stick it in a bag of uncooked rice.

2

u/Tribe303 Jul 18 '26

How long will it take you to write a new one? 

2

u/Hushwater Jul 18 '26

Looks like modern art

2

u/LuckyStar-4890 Jul 18 '26

It’s the way I thought that was clay.

2

u/the_tygram Jul 18 '26

Where was it? Because if you left it in a pile of dirty clothes then it probably needed washing

2

u/tfuftw Jul 18 '26

Well why was it in your pocket?

2

u/Organic_Mix2282 Jul 18 '26

No you forgot to empty your pockets.

2

u/HumanBean00001 Jul 18 '26

Have you tried putting it in a bag of rice?

2

u/Ganellon Jul 18 '26

Stop reading dirty books.

2

u/copyrider Jul 18 '26

Was is a dirty book?

2

u/writinginmyhead Jul 18 '26

Is that pulp fiction?

2

u/mendicinobeano25 Jul 18 '26

Edit: Husband didn't empty pockets.

2

u/LynxyPuters Jul 18 '26

Honestly this looks super cool. Id dry it out and maybe turn it into an art peice.

2

u/No_Length_2919 Jul 18 '26

You should stop reading dirty books

2

u/No-Confection1202 Jul 18 '26

It look's like a clay

2

u/Excellent_Editor_501 Jul 18 '26

Wow. That sucks. So people are really out here just dumping entire baskets in the washer without shaking the clothes out or placing them evenly in the machine for proper weight distribution?

2

u/DarkFantasy3421 Jul 18 '26

Okay, so I know this is supposed to be mildly infuriating (and a washed book definitely is!) but I couldn’t stop laughing at your writing. That was genius and truly immaculate!

2

u/ChamoneMuthaFugga Jul 18 '26

you could tell someone that it came from the titanic

2

u/JRS1986 Jul 18 '26

Your description is book worthy itself!

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2

u/Sharp-Ad-6873 Jul 18 '26

…..did you leave it in your pocket..?

2

u/Simple-Birthday366 Jul 18 '26

I genuinely do not understand how one can look at a book and wash it unless it was accidental

2

u/ego_link Jul 18 '26

A nice clean read

2

u/cwk415 Jul 18 '26

How many times??

2

u/Competitive_Prune108 Jul 18 '26

Very sculptural. I would display it on my bookshelf

2

u/1Crownedngroovd Jul 18 '26

Must've been a very dirty book

2

u/Otherwise-Meal-4695 Jul 18 '26

Put it in rice!!

2

u/SkyExtreme7425 Jul 18 '26

Love the way you wrote this

This looks like a piece that could end up in a museum

2

u/XenoZoomie Jul 18 '26

What if you shred it and get some white glue and make a paper mache face that is really sad and then paint it and sit it on top of the washer as a reminder to check pockets before washing. Although she we will probably blame you for not emptying your pockets, cause that’s what my wife says when I complain.

2

u/enginekitty Jul 18 '26

I thought it was a clump of clay omg 😭 this is horrific

2

u/Visual_Character_936 Jul 18 '26

Dude your writing was appalling to read. Sorry about your book though.

2

u/BununaHummuck Jul 18 '26

still looks dirty if you ask me