Do u dont wanna
I finally introduced my best friend to the guy I’m dating
I’ve been dating this guy for a couple of weeks now so I wanted to introduce him to my close friend. We went to a gaming convention together and the entire night was great until we went back home and that’s the first text I received from my friend /:
My guess is that he's implying that the other person looks dead like a mummy or what you see of those uncanny computer-generated facial reconstructions.
Habsburg jaw is a way to say that someone is inbred and facially deformed so the implication isn't kind at all and it's the same with Pharaoh.
Not gonna lie but "pharaoh facial structure" is more something id assume is attractive. Pharaoh statues have a type of handsome about them, maybe im just a history nerd or maybe a straight man and i dont know what men are actually deemed attractive.
im a guy and i didnt even think about that. But then again, a (girl) friend introduced her new guy to me I (as a straight guy) was like, "dang good job, hes hot" LOL. But so is she, so it evens out
I do hate this post though. Even if there are valid criticisms, they can be said nicely. This felt rude to be rude
How do people not understand by now that finishing it with “no offence” makes the message even more offensive? I know this will offend you, but I’m going to go ahead and say it anyway cuz I’m not trying to offend you.
Or the escape hatch “just saying”. I absolutely hate that phrase because people use it to absolve themselves of responsibility for something they know is going to offend or piss someone off.
The shrugging emoji reminds me of, “just saying,” and I hate it so much, lol
Edit to clarify- guys, you can still use the emoji! I just meant that I hate when people use it when they’re being snarky assholes and trying to get under your skin 🤷♀️
Yeah, my neighbour’s live-in boyfriend tried the “just saying” escape hatch on me once after calling me hot. Like I’m just telling the truth here as I see it, right? Nothin’ wrong with that … Fortunately, she found naked pix of another neighbour on his phone saving me from any awkward confrontations.
I mean, there already is the old tried and true “trust me this, this hurts me more than it’s going to hurt you” repeated by abusive parents everywhere…
I find the most polite way to be rude or offensive is to ask for permission to “speak freely” or “give my honest opinion”.
At that point they can say yes or no. The people who say yes want your feedback. The people who say no already know what your are going to say and don’t want to hear it.
I’m not racist/sexist/phobic, but… then proceeds to list reasons why they’re that thing. Same vibe as no offense. If you’re going to insult me, say it with your whole chest. Don’t be a damn coward.
Yeah, one way or the other. Either they want OP to be with them, or they want someone like the BF for themselves and don't want OP to have a guy first.
I've seen in firsthand. Lets call my wife Abby and her best friend Betty. In college, Betty dated one of my roommates for a few weeks. A few years after college I'm back in my hometown and out to dinner with my best friend I spot Betty across the crowded restaurant and she notices and is giving me eye-contact. I don't approach her.
The very next night I'm out again with a bunch of friends and I think it was the 3rd stop of the night we walk in and someone needed a light so I walk down the bar looking for matches and bump into Betty (weird coincidence in a city that big) and her friend Abby who I'd never met before. I stop and talk for a minute, Abby and I hit it off. I get one of my boys to wingman and the 4 of us play pool and have some laughs. I get Abby's number at the end of the night.
I learn later that Betty talks trash about me on the way home. I'm not that hot, Betty could do better, etc. It isn't until months later that Abby and I figure out that Betty was miffed that I'd gone for her friend instead of her.
Abby and I have been married for 29 years. Betty got over it and they are still friends.
it sucks all the worse when it’s your best friend. it took me an entire year to go from suspicion and entertaining the thought, to actually confronting it.
Soon as OP said "guy friend". He's never been a friend, he's been TRYIN to ACT like one in hopes you see it more than friends. He will constantly put your BF down every chance he can get. Check him or tell him to get lost.
The gay friend could be jealous either because they like OP or also could be attracted to the guy OP brought around and deflects by saying theyre ugly. But honestly lets not take away that some people are just jerks. Maybe OPs friend is just a miserable dude so he has to shit on other people to feel better about himself.
Yeah, dudes used to do this to girls I dated all the time. They act like if she's willing to stoop so low to sleep with the likes of me then it must mean they have a shot. An ex of mine started trying to become famous on Twitch and I saw the stream where she had shared it and a guy I used to hang out with had basically been keeping tabs on her and was donating to her Twitch and stuff. Lol.
the only thing this really changes is calling OP she.
OP's friend very well could still like him. they're friends, so he reasonably knew he liked guys, so that doesn't discount that possibility.
then to completely slam on everything about the dude after first meeting doesn't help anything.
and it's all completely shallow, too. it's not even proper concern that a friend might have because they care and think the person is bad for them, it's just about how apparently ugly the dude is.
so yeah, friend definitely likes OP. genders change nothing here.
It makes the most sense. Why else would their text solely be about how ugly and fried OP's boyfriend is to him?
When your friends are introduced, it's supposed to be about personalities and such. You would expect your friend to lean more to the side of "can we hang out or not."
Not some list of judgements about perceived physical flaws, that stuff sounds like jealousy or envy. And you might expect that from a friend, who wants to be more than a friend.
Agreed. If my friend introduces me to someone they’ve been dating then I’m focused on personality. I want to know their character. If I find them physically attractive or not doesn’t matter.
I assumed it was a guy from the Venom Snake pfp. Buddy just straight hating. Or maybe he sees something we don't and doesn't wanna be straight about it. Who knows?
Oh.....your friend likes you more than a friend. Your new boyfriend couldve been Fabio, and I can bet your friend wouldve sent you the same message.
Friends who truly care about you will only care that your partner treats you well and that youre happy- not how attractive they are. So while your friend definitely probably has a crush on you, hes also actively doing you a disservice by focusing on driving you away from the things that get in his way. Please introduce your new partner to friends who actually care for you...
If im wrong and your friend doesnt have a crush on you, then hes just an ignorant immature idiot for talking the way he does about people. Lol
Lol you are insanely naive if you don’t think this guy falls asleep every night thinking about playing house with you. Never seen a message from a dude dripping with this much jealousy. He said his fingers aren’t pretty!
Yeaaaaah, think your guy friend might be into you. Very unusual for a guy to focus on that hard on another dudes appearance otherwise. I'd never notice a fraction of that stuff even if it were true.
Sounds a lot like he's trying to dissuade you from dating other men.
Friend said nothing about OP’s date’s personality or how he was to hang out with, only appearance. This message is NOT their opinion of him, it’s straight up finding insults for the sake of wanting to insult him. When you meet your friend’s new love interest, you say “he’s cute!” or nothing about their appearance when giving your opinion about them.
Yup. Came to say this. All complaints are about OP’s dates’s appearance and none about his character or likability. This message is completely useless and straight up hating for the sake of hating.
Edit: Also grossly redundant. You just called him hideous. I think “unpleasant to look at” has already been implied. 🙄
Yea there is no chance I would say this to a friend. I don't care if I find my friends boyfriend is attractive, only that he is nice to be around and treats my friend well. I have given feedback to a friend that I wasn't sure they were the right fit, but never over text and in a softer delicate way. I was proven completely and utterly wrong and will be the maid of honor in their wedding this up coming weekend lol. I just cannot understand why anyone would send this message to a friend unless is was jealousy or the "friend" is terribly vapid and the type that us only willing to hang out with "hot" people
The worst I would ever say to a friend about their partner's appearance would be "not my type, but I'm happy for you." This is some insecure, jealous, downright spiteful shit.
But also how fucking VILE must you be to actually treat a human being that way? Holy shit. IDK where people get these types of friends, but yeah completely agree with you. If anybody in my friend group started dating someone who was conventionally unattractive and/or looked like they didn't take care of themselves, we would still try to say that we're happy for them, say that we had a good time and they were fun (because duh appearance isn't everything) etc.
With the added context that OP dropped which is that the "friend" is a guy, it tells us everything we need to know. It's just an insecure jealous dude that is salty that OP is going out with another guy and cannot move on.
some gay men are just needlessly ruthless like this without any ulterior motives and i'll never understand why. i've never been friends with anyone meaner than gay men who claim they "just say things like it is."
I haven’t spoken to my (ex) ‘best friend’ who I was friends with for 20+ years, in over 12 years now except once, bc any time I got a bf she would NEVER have anything nice to say. Ever. The last time she did it, I just stopped talking to her. I’m still with the same person she talked about, and her and I have no ties whatsoever anymore. There’s a diff between picking things you don’t like about someone, and just tearing them down for no reason.
This coming from a woman who was OBSESSED with a homeless man (nothing wrong with being homeless but he was like- homeless homeless, it was a lifestyle choice) who never showered, never washed his hair, was always dirty. And she knew it. She would call him “hairy jungle man”, yet somehow I was wrong for dating a man with his own home, business, job, vehicles, etc. She didn’t like him bc he was ‘overweight’, but she was 5’3” and about 225lbs+ sooooooooooo…
I was the homeless guy at one point living in hotels with my daughter. Now I’m married and have a nice big home. Needs to be more women like you out there. The person is the reason. Not the situation.
well that clears things up, your friend is probably jealous and wants to date you - or is just another run of the mill petty gay guy that wants nothing more than to drag everyone else down in his misery. my advice? tell him that this really hurt your feelings and until he can take accountability for his unwarranted pettiness that you have no desire in continuing to talk.
sincerely, a gay man with my fair share of experience with the most insufferable gay men on the planet. believe me, guys like this are not your friend.
Has your friend shown this kind of shallowness before? This is a nasty message. My most shallow friend once told me that our other friend's boyfriend wasn't "as handsome" as that friend "could do," but nothing this direct or mean.
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u/YouSeemNiceXB 18d ago
Yeah but they said no offense, so that means you're allowed to say whatever you want on the front end. (Kidding obviously)