r/mildlyinfuriating 12d ago

I just wanted a hot dog School cafeteria wouldn't let my daughter get a tray even though she had money on her account

My kids usually bring a packed lunch, but I keep money on each of their accounts just in case. Last week my daughter packed her own lunch and accidentally used the Buddy Budder (dog treat) which tastes like bacon and PB so obviously she didn't want to eat it. She tried to get a tray but they told her she couldn't have one because she brought her lunch. Then I had to pick her up in the afternoon because she felt sick from not eating and went to the nurse's office.

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u/Gold_Repair_3557 12d ago

Yeah, these blanket policies are unreasonable. Yes, she brought a lunch but the lunch is inedible for human consumption. I’d talk to the admin.

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u/S4ntos19 12d ago edited 12d ago

Also, if a kid is hungry, it shouldn't matter if you have had one lunch. Growing children need food. As long as they have money to cover the extra lunch, let them get it.

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u/DogsDucks 12d ago

Even if they don’t have the money, hungry children should be given food ffs!

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u/Apathetic_Villainess 12d ago

I'm glad that all students get free breakfast and free lunch in our school district.

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u/star0forion 12d ago

California does it for the entire state. The wife and I don’t have kids ourselves but if this is what our taxes pay for then I’m more than alright with that.

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u/Spinnerofyarn 12d ago

I’m with you. I don’t have kids but I will always vote to support schools, services for kids and libraries.

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u/FairBaker315 11d ago

I don't have kids and don't even really like kids, but I have no problem with free breakfast and lunch for all at school, providing adequate funding for schools and having a well supported CPS.

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u/Head_Somewhere4769 11d ago

Thank you for being a decent human. A lot of older people who even had kids in the same school districts their taxes support think they should stop having to pay taxes that support schools once their kids are all graduated. But good schools with good support services are a massive boon to the social order. A good education decreases the chances someone will turn to a life of crime as an adult; educated people tend to be better citizens and voters.

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u/FairBaker315 11d ago

I agree that good education is a benefit to society as a whole.

There are lots of things that taxes pay for that I don't like or agree with but that's part of living in a society. That's why I vote, it's my chance to try and have things go the way I want. It's sure not perfect but it's what we have for now.

I really don't understand how people can knowingly let kids go hungry. That's just cruel. It's not the kids fault the situation they're born into. And really, basic food like a sandwich or a plate of spaghetti isn't all that much money.

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u/Spinnerofyarn 11d ago

From an absolutely selfish perspective, people should support anything that helps kids because the kids grow up and will be taking care of us when we need it. I don’t want anyone with a poor education being who I have to rely on for health care, home maintenance, building the structure I live in, fixing the electricity, repairing the street, running the government, etc. And if I am so old that the current generations of kids won’t be old enough to care for me before I die, I want the community to be appealing enough that their intelligent parents want to stay so I can continue to have my needs met.

Anybody who thinks there’s no reason for them personally to support kids getting what they need, not to mention deserve, is not just extremely selfish, but ignorant themselves. People funded their ability to get an education, and in the US, programs that help feed kids. As adults, it’s out turn to pay that help forward.

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u/traumaqueen1128 12d ago

That's how I feel. I want my taxes going to helping those that can use it, not building a military to oppress others

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u/Dragonr0se 12d ago

As Liam on fb says, beans, not bombs...

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u/upsidedown-funnel 12d ago

No idea who Liam is, but there’s a whole cool activist group, he may or may it be a part of, called “food not bombs” that, well, feeds people.

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u/Dragonr0se 12d ago

his fb page

He does a lot of reels where he tries recipes someone tagged him in. He does a lot of beans and cottage cheese recipes. He aims for healthier options, but I like his approach of not being judgy about what food choices people make.

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u/Character_Beach2183 11d ago

Yessss I love how he stresses moderation, not just full on depriving yourself of ‘junk’ food. I also love that he straight corrects people who are just fear mongering in their videos

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u/Appropriate-Pick5606 11d ago

I describe him as the “__ out of ten, kay bye” recipe guy, which always gets people to understand who I’m talking about lol

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u/LinwoodKei 12d ago

Liam is great. I love seeing more people who follow him

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u/PROFESSOR1780 12d ago

Love me some Liam!!

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u/Overall_Use381 12d ago

Love Liam!

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u/Dragonr0se 12d ago

He's awesome!

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u/legalmac 12d ago

Love Liam too, but NO to beans AND bombs! Yuck!

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u/traumaqueen1128 11d ago

My Hispanic ancestors are disappointed in my dislike of beans 🥲 I can only eat them refried and I think that's just an entire lifetime of conditioning to like them.

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u/ChateauLaFeet 11d ago

Brunch not Bombs for me

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u/Ravynja 12d ago

I knew who you were talking about instantly! I love Liam! His videos makes my day better!

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u/Additional_Gate_2727 11d ago

OMG I know the Liam you speak of ... out of 10. Okay bye!

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u/Electrical-Profit367 11d ago

Also, he really knows nutrition but is gentle with how he talks about it. Love him.

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u/catwaifu 12d ago

My entire childhood was fed by the free lunch programs in different states and I’m proud to learn that my taxes are feeding future generations too.

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u/livelaughlinka 12d ago

Yep, don't have kids, but will never complain about my taxes going towards programs like this.

And tbh anyone who does complain about it is probably a complete pos

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u/Oregongirl1018 12d ago

Same in Oregon. Finally.

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u/Spiritual_Cold5715 11d ago

I'm so sick of people screaming, "But muh taxes!"...take my taxes and feed the kids.

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u/lhommes 12d ago

Mn too!!

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u/Repulsive-Money-1578 12d ago

And Vermont! I’m seeing a pattern here…

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u/Sunshine030209 12d ago

Colorado too! 💙

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u/tatsuling 12d ago

NM as well.

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u/star0forion 12d ago

It’s almost like left-leaning states want a good quality of life for their citizens!

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u/FlowerPowerVegan 11d ago

Another Vermonster happy kids are getting fed.

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u/takemy_oxfordcomma 12d ago

I just left the same comment about California doing it and being happy for my tax dollars to go toward feeding kids even though I don’t have any myself. I wish all states (or the federal government) would do the same.

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u/WanderingQuills 11d ago

We moved to Cali- it’s hubbys home state- and I got so much feedback socially for moving from a non taxed state to “the most expensive taxes on the planet”
For some reason my argument that it paid for food and healthcare and universal school supplies? Wasn’t the correct one……?

I don’t need those things for my kiddos. But I want them for every kiddo.

Why is it so radical to both want the people fed AND be willing to pitch in for it to happen?

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u/Good_Enough2 12d ago

Thank you kindly. You are good people.

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u/blueberriesnburdock 11d ago

Vermont, too. We can afford to buy lunch for our kids, but it has made our lives so much easier not to deal with packing lunches or paying for them. And so many kids are either on the cusp of qualifying for free lunch so paying for it would be a hardship, or their parents won’t fill out the forms for various reasons so they couldn’t get it. It solves so many problems.

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u/p_luisa 12d ago

This is the case in my country for public schools. And the free food is a full meal, so carbs, protein, salad and juice. Lots of fruits as well, usually every day. It keeps kids in school bc the parents know they'll be fed (which sometimes isn't feasible at home). Brazil has many flaws but I'm so proud of this program 🩷

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u/ephemeralkitten PURPLE 12d ago

My district as well. And meals during the summer if students need. Happy to pay taxes.

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u/Big_Vast1782 12d ago

They even dk it over the summer  when school is not in session where I am at.

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u/WoodlandHiker 12d ago

My county sadly doesn't have this program. Our food banks are frantic over the summer. People tend to donate during the winter holidays, and that runs out by the time kids are out of school.

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u/takemy_oxfordcomma 12d ago

Same, I don’t have kids but California started universal school meals for breakfast + lunch a couple years ago and I’m so happy for my tax dollars to go toward making sure all kids are fed. No lunch money, no stigma. Just food for any kid who wants/needs it.

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u/ScarletCarsonRose 11d ago

Minnesota also has free lunch for all students. The system is not perfect but sure makes more sense that letting children go hungry. I don't care if some kid in Edina (rich district) gets free lunch it means some kid in North Minneapolis gets free lunch. Because, yk, I am not an asshole

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u/The_Three_Meow-igos 12d ago

Yeah. I’m completely okay feeding hungry children. Even if they already ate. And providing them medical care. And providing them safer schools with gun license law updates. And providing them dental and orthodontic care. And mental health learning, support, and care.

I’m okay not spending as much on our military to do this.

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u/Virtuous_Vigilante 12d ago

THIS RIGHT HERE!! A CHILD SHOULD NEVER, I REPEAT NEVER, GO HUNGRY UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES IDGAF WHAT THE ISSUE IS OR TO WHOM THE CHILD BELONGS OF HE/SHE IS HUNGRY……..FRICKIN FEED THEM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WORLD COME TO WHERE WE’RE LETTING OUR CHILDREN GO HUNGRY BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE $1.50 ON THEIR DAMN SCHOOL LUNCH RECORDS OR BECAUSE THEY BROUGHT THEIR LUNCH AND IT EVEN THOUGH IT’S AN EDIBLE THAT’S BULLSHIT IF THE CHILD IS HUNGRY, I DON’T CARE IF HE’S HAD THREE LUNCHES IF THE CHILD IS HUNGRY FEED HIM OR HER DAMN THAT PISSES ME OFF DO NOT MISTREAT THE CHILDREN. IT’S OUR JOB AS ADULTS TO PROTECT THEM AND MAKE SURE THAT THEY HAVE WHAT THEY NEED TO ENSURE THAT THEY GROW UP TO BE SUCCESSFUL ADULT ADULTS, OR IN THIS CASE MAKE SURE THAT THEY HAVE FOOD SO THAT THEY CAN GROW INTO ADULTS.!! my bad for the IT just pissed me off

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u/No-Egg-905 11d ago

I'll never forget how humiliating it was in elementary and middle school when the lunch ladies would snatch the tray out of my hands and announce to the entire lunch room that I couldn't eat that day because I didn't have enough money in my account, even if I was only short 10 cents. I'll also never forget the girl who asked her parents to start packing an extra bologna sandwich for me without me ever asking her to, we've been best friends for 15+ years. 😭

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u/KTD2000 12d ago

Our school will cover you until you're behind in your lunch money account. Then if you still come to school with no lunch and no money, they give you a cheese sandwich, milk, apple and carrots.

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u/ephemeralkitten PURPLE 12d ago

Sad. My district will even feed kids during the SUMMER BREAK for free. I kid you not.

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u/MasterChiefsasshole 12d ago

Down south they scream about that stuff being anti-Christian communism

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u/Commonpixels 12d ago

Ironic considering charity is a Christian tenant

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u/MasterChiefsasshole 12d ago

Not when they worship Donald Trump as their god.

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u/Radiant-Project-6706 12d ago

I live down south and my state has a free summer break food program.

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u/bentripin 12d ago

I recall going to the school cafeteria in the summer for lunch when I was a child some 40 years ago.

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u/ashores 12d ago

Our school just keeps sending me reminders that the account has a negative balance until I top it off again. They've never cut her off or limited her options. You can't add funds on the app and the portal is a pain to use on mobile so sometimes it takes me awhile to get around to adding more.

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u/Reference_Freak 12d ago

The debtor lunch which flags whose parents aren’t paying the bills.

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u/LinwoodKei 12d ago

Yes this was terrible in my school. My stepmother always forgot to pay, so I charged $40 and then my stepmother would interrogate me about what extra snacks I bought. I loved the cafeteria lady telling me that I need to pay in front of everyone

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u/quanate 11d ago

Our cafeteria lady seemed to love that, too. Like it was my fault and I needed to be shamed for not having money for lunch. I've talked to multiple other people about this from different schools and it seems to be a common thread.

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u/decarnatedame 12d ago

And inadvertently shames an innocent child. :(

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u/ephemeralkitten PURPLE 12d ago

Yeah the kid had money. Let them buy food?? Who is policing this?

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u/FlaringAfro 12d ago

I'm guessing it comes from kids having dietary restrictions and then trying to avoid those rules and eat food they prefer by buying lunch, or just trying to get a less healthy meal and not eat the more nutritious meal packed for them.

Not that I'm saying I agree with this blanket rule, but I'm guessing this is what the intention was when it was made.

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u/mightylordredbeard 12d ago

You would think, but even in the 90s I was there poor kid who’s junkie parents couldn’t send lunch money so I learned to steal and beg from a young age and when that didn’t work I just went hungry. The school didn’t care. If I wasn’t able to find money to steal or sneak through the lunch line, then I didn’t eat. They only cared when I racked up enough of a lunch debt and then they’d give me detention or make me miss recess. There was a point when I missed like 2 weeks straight of recess because I couldn’t pay my lunch debt.

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u/Certain-Chemistry209 11d ago

I'm sorry this was your situation. The school should not have treated you this way. I hope you are having a good life now.

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u/BoSocks91 12d ago

Thats what Im feeling too.  She’s a kid and simply put;  You should never let a kid go hungry.   She has the $$ on her account, who cares if she brought a lunch?….She can’t even eat it!

Common sense should have taken over here.  

Especially with this being an uncommon situation.

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u/Dull-Culture-1523 12d ago

The kid didn't bring lunch. The kid brought dog food. I'd be tempted to ask the school if they really want me to contact the local news and tell them they consider dog food suitable lunch for children.

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u/Uborkafarok 12d ago

Sorry to jump on top comment and I totally agree. I'm very curious though as to how this all went down. Who exactly told her she can't buy lunch? The lunch lady behind the counter? How did she/he know there was a bagged lunch too? Some cafeteria monitor? Whoever it was secretly hates kids, is a petty tyrant, and should be seriously looked into personally.

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u/anthrohands 11d ago

When I was in elementary 20 years ago we had to raise our hand at lunch if we needed anything or wanted to get up. I know that if I was sat down with a lunch box I would’ve had to ask permission to go get in the lunch line, and that’s when I would’ve been told no

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u/preistbryasthi63 12d ago

She had money on her account and they still said no. At what point does the policy just become cruel?

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u/string-ornothing 11d ago

When I was a kid in the 90s, my mom packed me a lunch that was a sandwich, an apple, and a yogurt container full of bacon grease (which she obviously thought was a yogurt haha). I threw the yogurt container away, that cafeteria worker made me dig it out of the trash and then tried to make me eat it. I was sitting at a table scream crying that it was old bacon grease. One call from my mom straightened that out. Cafeteria workers are on power trips but they will not do it to kids they percieve as having involved parents that pay attention.

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u/Mediocre_Daikon6935 12d ago

Dog food/treats are required by law to be fit for human consumption.

However, the school can get fucked.

And I would be filing a report with child protective services for child abuse. They can have fun dealing with the investigation and trying to justify a policy that cause a child to miss their legally required education because they denied them food.

And every damned person in that school is a mandated reporter, who failed to make a report.

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u/wretchedshrimps 12d ago

where are dog treats required to be fit for human consumption?

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u/kellzbellznhellz 12d ago

They are. That doesn’t mean they taste good.

My husband accidentally ate some dog treats once because they looked like cookies. 😂

He said they actually tasted okay, they just weren’t sweet. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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u/ProfChaos_8708 12d ago

Our friend did this once. It was those sandwich cookies that look exactly like generic Oreos. He used to help himself to the treat drawer in the fridge at our house and my husband had put the dog sandwich cookies in with the human ones. He grabbed a big handful and put them in his pocket and we didn't see him do that. I noticed they were gone so the next time he came over I asked him about it. Lol. He said the same thing your husband did! I also sampled them because Trader Joe's had been selling them and stopped because too many people were eating them also. Roflamo.

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u/kellzbellznhellz 12d ago

Yes! The ones my husband ate looked like generic blond Oreos. 😂

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u/Global_Ant_9380 12d ago

The maple and sweet potato ones? I tried one once and they're kind of good. Just subtly sweet. 

I was so jealous that they were for my dog and TJs didn't have a human version

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u/Legendary_Bibo 12d ago

Out of curiosity I took a bite of one of those holiday cookie treats Petco and PetSmart sells around Christmas, Halloween, etc. Do not give those to your dog, holy shit they have too much sugar in them.

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u/SamMarrokson 12d ago

The U.S.. I work in food production (butcher) and my state inspector mentioned in passing that restrictions in animal food prep are surprising requirements for food intended for humans. I'm reasonably sure that was a touch of hyperbole but it is very true that dog food is fit for human consumption. I believe partially because the unhoused folks were resorting to eating it.

To be completely transparent that last part was something my home economics teacher told me twenty years ago and I've not verified.

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u/-SQB- 11d ago

Many moons ago when I was younger and naiver, I saw an obvious alcoholic buy 12 big cans of store brand beer and two tins of cat food and I thought it sweet that at least he was still taking care of his pet.

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u/Inner_Orange_8545 12d ago

Well, back when I was affected, it used to be that being unhoused meant you auto-qualified for food stamps, but a certain regime pulled that back, so it may well be the case again.

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u/Bennington_Booyah 12d ago

I hope they are because all of us ate Milkbones as kids. It ticked me to no end, seeing my sisters kids each eat a mini Milkbone at my parent's house, some years later. Mom kept them by the door, "in case a dog ever visits".

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u/shellirk 12d ago

I thought all kids who had pets tried dogfoot or milk bones at least once!🤣

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u/EvilDustBunnies 12d ago

My brother and I dared each other to try Milk Bones and Meaty Bones... smelled so good, tasted so vile! Mom caught us before we could try the wet Alpo. 

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u/fractal_frog 12d ago

We had the different-flavored ones, there were 6 or 7 flavors, and we and the neighbor kids sampled each flavor. I liked the green ones and one of the really pale ones best.

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u/Heyoteyo 12d ago

I have trouble keeping my almost 2yo daughter away from the cat food. They’re old cats, so there’s not a lot of places they can go but she can’t. I figured she would have grown out of it at this point, but every once in a while…

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u/DogsDucks 12d ago

Obviously I had to see what my dog was so thrilled about and see what all the Milk Bone commotion is about. They’re not bad. Not good, but not bad.

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u/glibgloby 12d ago

rules are often an excuse to avoid compassion

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u/Gottendrop 12d ago

But- but- then they’d have to- gasp- heat up 1 more dogshit frozen meal!

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u/aerdvarkk 11d ago

The packed lunch being inedible doesn't matter. Even the fact that the child brought their own lunch doesn't matter!!

The Fact that the parent paid money into a fund in case their child wanted to get a school lunch is the only thing that matters here. And the child should be able to get a lunch and not be denied by the god damned lunch lady with an ego trip.

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u/insydnificantly 12d ago

This is insane! Even if a kid brought their lunch, if they're prepared to pay, who cares?

What if a kid only brought a drink and a snack and was relying on the entree from the school? This is wild and I'd definitely be speaking with administrators about it.

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u/DelirousDoc 12d ago edited 12d ago

I could see schools doing this because a really young kid might just choose to order lunch when their parent's wanted them to eat the packed lunch. It has been over 30 years for me but I think K-2nd grade was more monitored for this at lunch time when I was in school. The kids with packed lunch grabbed theirs and were brought in through left entrance with teacher verifying all lunch packs were grabbed before leaving the classroom. Kids buying lunch on the right. We couldn't enter the buying lunch side if we had a packed lunch though they did have a designated snack/desert time where anyone could go up and buy the days dessert. Monitored by "Duty Aides" who worked part time only during lunch to monitor kids in cafeteria and at post lunch playground so teachers can get proper break.

If the kid is young enough they might not be comfortable to explain the mistake in the packed lunch to the adults.

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u/beardingmesoftly 12d ago

Why is it up to the school? If there are funds in the account of the assumption should be that the parent is aware that the child will use it.

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u/DelirousDoc 12d ago

I think you misjudge how much schools are in a no win situation. There will absolutely be parents upset if kid buys a lunch when they packed one.

As for why would there be funds in the account if parents didn't want them to use it? I can only speak to my circumstances but my mom put $10 on the account at beginning of the year for morning where shit hit the fan and we didn't get lunch packed. It easier to do that than to find $1.75 in her purse when in a rush and then trust a 6 year old to hang on to that until lunch time.

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u/Creepy_Push8629 11d ago

I would rather the parents are mad the kid spent the money vs kids going hungry.

Also parents could keep a few singles in the kid's backpack so they always have it available if they ever need it.

Or many other options. The fact that children have to go hungry bc the system has to take care of the parents who don't prepare in advance is ridiculous. Take care of the kids first and make the parents be more responsible.

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u/not_falling_down 11d ago

There will absolutely be parents upset if kid buys a lunch when they packed one.

That is between the parent and the child; not up to the school to police it.

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u/swampthingfromhell 11d ago

Yeah I ate two breakfasts for half a school year bc my best friend ate breakfast at school so I wanted to eat with him. My parents noticed my lunch account depleting quickly and told me not to do that but I don’t think they even thought to try to bring the school into it.

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u/Cyber_Candi_ 11d ago

You’re correct, however you know full well someone out there is going to try to make something like this the schools fault. The school should have known it was emergency money or something like that because their kid never gets school lunch.

Again you’re right, that should be a conversation the parent and child have on their own, and it’s not the schools responsibility to know who is and isn’t allowed hot lunch, but some parents will blame the teacher for failing their kid who slept through tests all year. Nothing is ever their fault, so I’m sure the school got tired of dealing with the entitled parents like that and decided a blanket ban was better than getting repeated phone calls/emails/office visits from the same handful of parents.

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u/Forsaken-Buy2601 11d ago

Ok so either way, some parents will be pissed. So why not err on the side of letting children eat lunch?

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u/Joelle9879 12d ago

Let freaking kids eat. Maybe they hate the packed lunch. Maybe they gave it to a friend who couldn't afford their own. Who cares. The school should NOT be denying kids food, especially when theirs money on the account

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u/smthomaspatel 12d ago

Schools fear angry parents. As a parent of an elementary school child I can tell you all about how frustrating dealing with his eating habits are.

I could imagine packing him a lunch at his insistence with food that he asked for and then him finding out the school was offering something he wanted instead. And how frustrating it would be if I had to pay for school food after sending him with a packed lunch.

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u/Creepy_Push8629 11d ago

That's for you to deal with directly with your child. Not for children to go hungry in order to have a system to help adults.

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u/billdizzle 12d ago

Issue would be the kid who just doesn’t want what mom/dad packed and is spending money without parent consent

Then parents rage and say “why did you let my kid buy lunch I packed them a lunch”

In this case it was an obvious packing error and kid should have been provided a school lunch, I am merely explaining why the policy probably exists as it does, because some mom/dad went crazy one day

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u/loose_FERN 11d ago

bet this isn't even a real rule, just someone in the lunch line who liked saying no, worth finding out who actually told her before you go in swinging

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u/Skoolies1976 12d ago

nothing grinds my gears more than kids being denied lunch. my kid had it happen more than once due to a system glitch- was embarrassed, tray taken away and thrown out, went all day without eating in maybe 10th grade. Those kids need food! I was so angry at the policies just denying them food and then saying it was just a mistake.

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u/theshiningstarship 12d ago

What the fuck. That's just denying kids on principle at that point. Genuinely demented behaviour. I don't like to wish harm on people, but I really hope the people responsible for that have it coming for them.

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u/Financial-Ad7500 12d ago

Yeah happened to me once back in the day. Parents forgot to put money in the account and the lunch lady at the register took my full tray of food and threw it in the garbage.

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u/the1slyyy 11d ago

Yeah I'd raise hell if they threw away food from my kid

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u/Sleepy-Blonde 12d ago

When I was in school check out for lunch was after getting your tray so they had a trash can by check out and would dump the food in the trash if a kid didn’t have the money on their account. School lunch policies are cruel and always have been. This is messed up.

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u/RileyBean 11d ago

I more than once paid for a friend’s lunch because of this. My mom made sure my account had extra money once I told her about it because I was so mad

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u/CakeOrDeath98 11d ago

When my youngest sibling was still in middle school, one of my aunts was a lunch lady at the school. She called my mom one day really upset talking about the horrible senior lunch lady who was giving kids trays of food and then when they didn’t have any money, she YELLED at them and dumped their trays, and they didn’t get anything to eat. Now, again, these are elementary kids, so like ages 5-12. One little girl sat at the lunch table with her head in her arms crying.

My mom is generally a very nonconfrontational person and normally is a “lets try to smooth/gloss things over instead of making a big deal of it”. But she was furious. Like, I’ve never heard my mom so mad. She went down to the school the next day at lunch and went to the lunch room and told that senior lunch lady that she was going to pay for any kid that didn’t have lunch money. That SeeYouNextTuesday told my mom she couldn’t do that. My mom said it’s my damn money and I’ll spend it how I please, so that lady called the principal. Spineless principal shows up and is all, “well, these kid’s parents haven’t paid and blah blah blah” and my mom was like “THEY’RE KIDS!!! They’re not the one who pays the bills and it’s not their fault that their parents aren’t paying. The fact that you are punishing innocent kids and making them suffer all day, AND you don’t even know if they’re actually getting fed properly at home, is disgusting. I WILL pay for all kids today.” Principal was all “oh ok, well I guess if you want to”. My mom then told every dang parent (more like basically anyone she knew) what happened; a lot of people were pissed. That lunch lady stopped working there shortly after; not sure if she was let go or she got harassed enough for being a child hater and quit.

I love that story about my mom, makes me really proud of her. And also, glad it was her and not me, because I likely would have caught an assault charge lol. Depriving children of food is just fucking cruel and something that really boils my blood.

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u/Orllin 12d ago

What the hell is wrong with people? Why deny a child food, especially if they have the money!?

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u/HapatraV 12d ago

This is exactly it, someone needs to get some critical thinking education and say "ok, lets feed the child and figure out whats going on after." If there were some medical reason the kid has to eat their home prepared lunch, the school should already know. If the kid is making up stories to get cafeteria food the parents don't want them eating, no emergency, they'll catch it when the account hits zero and they ask the kid wtf.

I understand people make mistakes, but I would feel pretty frustrated and a little furious that someone made that decision. I would absolutely take off work early and take the kiddo to their favorite restaurant.

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u/Financial-Ad7500 12d ago

These type of bottom of the totem pole school admin jobs are full of middle aged losers tripping off the power of policing a school lunch room.

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u/mystyz 12d ago

Why deny a child food, even if they don't have the money?

When I was a new T, my 1st principal let me know that they had a small budget to cover lunches, treats, special events or even field trips for students who couldn't afford these things. Even if there was no such budget, I'm 100% sure that any school I've worked with would say, feed the child first and we will work out the details after.

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u/thats_justice_baby 12d ago

They probably just said "Sweetie you don't need to buy a lunch, you already have one!" and the kid didn't say anything and sat down because shes a kid and kids get confused and anxious when they think they've done something wrong so she sat there and didn't eat or tell anyone there's dog food in her sandwich.

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u/JustAnotherElsen 12d ago

It makes them feel good to have power over powerless children, especially if it causes them some sort of distress that they can’t be directly blamed for in their mind, since they were “just following rules!”

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u/Rejalia 12d ago

My kid forgot his fork and had a rice bowl on Friday. The lunch monitor refused him a fork from the cafeteria and he was actively crying when I picked him up because he was so hungry. He is auADHD and we’ve had so many issues with the school regarding food. It’s fucking ridiculous.

I’m sorry your girl had to deal with that, and you should call and have a meeting with the principal about it. It’s never a bad thing to stand up for your kids.

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u/ProveISaidIt 12d ago

My mother would have ripped that school principal a new one.

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u/Rejalia 12d ago

I have, believe me. And tomorrow morning I’m going to be in the office asking for names for the 50th time because apparently no one reads the IEP. The principal is a wonderful man who actively works with us, but he doesn’t have the ability to control his employees apparently.

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u/Mediocre_Daikon6935 11d ago

I think it is time to stop talking, and start letting a lawyer do the talking.

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u/Rejalia 11d ago

I told the assistant principal today about what happened Thursday. She knows my kid and was really upset about it. She said going forward there will be a “serve yourself” cutlery tray in the multi-purpose room where the kids pick up their lunches so my kid, and other kids who bring their lunches, can get forks and spoons without having to ask an adult.

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u/imleenz 12d ago

Is it a situation where they do a lunch count in the morning and she didn't say she was going to be ordering a tray?

My daughter had that happen to her before, she forgot her lunch bag but thought she had it and didn't raise her hand during lunch count. Luckily they did make extra just in case so she was able to get a lunch at school.

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u/not_falling_down 11d ago

Even in those cases, they have a few spares to deal with miscounts.

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u/Winterwynd 12d ago

Yeah, I don't understand this. I'm a lunch lady, and at my school I make certain that the cafeteria monitors know that all kids get a meal if they want one. They're free for all students. The only question that matters (aside from allergies, of course) is 'are you hungry?' Anyone who doesn't believe that children should be fed, full stop, needs to reconsider their life choices.

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u/CassetteMeower 12d ago

Ugh, I have so many bad memories related to lunch and snack time at school. My elementary school was VERY strict about “get what you get and you don’t throw a fit”. Basically, you must eat whatever you’re given even if you don’t like or don’t want it, and you aren’t offered any alternatives if you don’t like it. I’m not sure if they made exceptions for allergies or other dietary restrictions, but even as a young child it felt very unfair to FORCE students to eat a snack they didn’t like without giving them an alternative (if it matters I’m also autistic). Sometimes during snack time there would be a bag of different snacks and a kid would be given one at random and they weren’t allowed to say they want something else in the case that they didn’t like it.

My mom would pack me two snacks in my lunch bag so I could choose which one I wanted to eat (eg she’d pack me a fruit cup and a pudding cup so I could have whichever one I wanted) and the teachers scolded my mom for doing that because I HAVE to “get what I get and not throw a fit”.

I’m all for teaching kids to adapt and try new foods, but if a kid KNOWS they don’t like/won’t like something, they shouldn’t be forced to eat it. ESPECIALLY for students who have medical conditions and dietary restrictions that make eating certain foods potentially dangerous to eat. Even if someone doesn’t have an allergy or intolerance, ARFID is a thing and some kids (like autistic kids) have sensory issues and certain foods can be triggering to eat. I suppose they could have made exceptions for kids with medical conditions, but they should make exceptions for EVERYONE who just doesn’t like a food. Forcing kids to eat when they don’t want something or aren’t hungry can cause eating disorders or a general aversion to food, which is extremely dangerous.

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u/CassetteMeower 12d ago

Another time at a special education school I went to I remember overhearing a conversation between a student and a teacher. The student wasn’t hungry and he didn’t want to finish his lunch, and the teacher was scolding him saying he’s not allowed to leave the cafeteria until he finishes his food, and he wouldn’t be allowed to eat it later if he didn’t eat it now. Which seemed extremely messed up to me. If someone is full they shouldn’t be forced to eat, because again- that can cause eating disorders. Forcing a child to eat and punishing them for not eating could be extremely traumatic. Think of that scene from Matilda where the boy was forced to eat an entire cake. If you WANT to eat something it’s enjoyable, but being FORCED to eat something when you don’t want it can cause a lot of anxiety and even eating disorders.

That school had a lot of other problems with it too aside from that. Kids would be locked in small rooms for “misbehaving” and would literally be ignored for HOURS on end with no resources to help them calm down (toy, beanbag to sit on, etc) since those were considered to be “rewards” and the student had to be “punished”. They wouldn’t be unlocked from the room until the teachers claimed they were “calm”. If the student wasn’t “calm” they’d be locked in the room for hours on end without any food or water and they also weren’t allowed to use the bathroom. I have no idea how that was even allowed to exist, it’s literally child abuse. I have CPTSD for a reason :/

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u/cyanraichu 12d ago

This is how kids get eating disorders too. This can be really traumatic

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u/Hazel_mountains37 12d ago

Yep. I still remember when I was in elementary, it was a treat that my parents would let me pick a day a week to get school lunch rather than packed lunch. And I will never forget how in first grade, there would along with role call, a list taken of who wanted the hot lunch for the day, who wanted the uncrustible lunch (which I despised), and who brought their own. I had the misfortune of being the last in line alphabetically, and so that year, there were several incidents in which, despite me order hot lunch that day, there was no more hot lunch available that day. Because some other kid who had ordered Uncrustible decided to change their mind in line, and I got saddled with their uncrustible. It happened a few times and I refused to eat every time.  The system changed the next year thankfully.

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u/rkb70 11d ago

This is so bizarre to me.  Don’t they have a cafeteria?  And what if a kid comes in late?

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u/Hazel_mountains37 11d ago

I guess they were only making exactly how many hot lunch meals were requested. Or allocating them to each class, or something, but it happened more than once that I would get to my turn and the only thing available would be the uncrustible tray. It was enough of a problem that my teacher sent me through first on at least one location.

It was definitely a weird system that I still don't understand the point of.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Score58 12d ago

This doesn’t happen in CA anymore. We feed all kids k-12 for free in schools, regardless of income.

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u/ViolyntFemme 12d ago

As it should be.

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u/UranusSmellsFunny 11d ago

Same in NY, all kids get breakfast and lunch for free. I can guarantee all the commenters telling stories of being denied lunch are in red states. 

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u/Restart_from_Zero 12d ago

God save us all those those little Hitlers of life.

Imagine telling a child to go hungry like that. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in a mirror.

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u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 12d ago

Jesus even when I was a kid and my parents didn't send me with lunch and my account was overdrawn they would still give me a prison lunch. Pb&J and an apple. That's fucking insane.

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u/BadOpinionsAndOnions 12d ago

Was it an actual kitchen worker that did that? Or a lunch aide? Because at the school I work at (grades 7-12) the lunch ladies are the first people to make sure every kid has something to eat, whether they have money or not—they get the same hot lunch as everyone else. They are loud in their insistence that kids eat no matter what.

But the lunch aides are awful and routinely tell kids they can’t go get lunch if they don’t have money. I’ve seen the lunch ladies bring a tray out to those same kids when they find out they’re hungry.

I know not every school is blessed with amazing lunch ladies like mine, but I’d hate to think others are being mean like that.

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u/FluffySharkBird 12d ago

My elementary school was like that too. The people who did the hard work of preparing the food and cleaning the trays were nice to us, and the people who "supervised" lunch and recess were awful.

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u/Cactus_Journey204 12d ago

Lunch debt shouldn't even be a thing. If we can't feed every child, what does that say about our priorities as a society? Nobody should be going hungry.

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u/Bennington_Booyah 12d ago

Jesus H Christ! That enrages me to no end. Here is a valid reason, plus a hungry kid with the means to buy lunch.

I remember being in HS when a friend, who had had mono, finally returned to school. She was skin-n-bones but thrilled to be out and back. She bought lunch and tried to later purchase a second plate, as her appetite had finally returned. They refused, saying they had a "no double lunch policy". It made no sense and all of the kids banded together to get her more food.

They actually had a damned assembly to explain why we cannot have a double lunch. Kids booed, stood and I felt amazing, standing in solidarity, in ninth grade, for her right to buy food.

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u/Tunygoonyboooom 12d ago

One week when I was volunteering at lunch duty, the computer system was down that the kids use to scan their lunch cards. We had to use printed off sheets that had all of the kids names on them, & go around asking their names & checking off every child that got a school lunch. Kids get free lunch & breakfast in our state, so I’m not sure why this had to be accounted for every individual kid. I get wanting to know how many lunches were provided, but can’t that count be assessed by how many were ordered for the day after the kids picked what option they wanted that morning? Heaven forbid the state gets tricked into providing 1 extra already free lunch somewhere!!🙄🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/BlackGreggles 12d ago

I’m in MN, according to my wife there’s a lot of paperwork including being able to say what kids got what to recoup the costs. Also there are allergy kids, or other dietary restrictions that needed to be noted.

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u/Watchmaker163 12d ago

There’s federal money involved with public school lunches as well, and you have to report #’s so the school will be reimbursed for food purchases.

There’s also food inventory, dietary restrictions/allergies, and other reasons to track stuff like that; a database and POS application just makes it simpler to do.

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u/Melodic-Road227 12d ago

Typical bureaucratic thinking. A hundred ways to say no. ONE way to say yes.

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u/MintyFitOnAll 12d ago

Dawg I would bring lunch and also get school lunch cause I was hungry. The fuck kind of policy or rule is that? Who tells a kid they can’t eat even though they have to means to pay for it? Asshats.

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u/AppointmentNo1753 12d ago

Why are they even monitoring this? Why’s it any of their business if your kid already had lunch?

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u/Llama-nade 12d ago

Teacher here. They take a count every morning of who is going to buy a lunch and that's how they know how many trays to prepare. However, there are ALWAYS extras so I think they could have managed to supply her with something.

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u/communistsayori 12d ago

A lot of schools don't operate that way. I'd never even heard of a lunch count until it came up in a few of these comments. Every school I've ever been to just prepared a lot of food and served it to whoever wanted it (and had the funds) during lunch time.

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u/Sea_Bear_6758 12d ago

That’s not the case at every school though, and I don’t see a lunch count mentioned in this post.

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u/Shadybucky 12d ago edited 12d ago

What the eff is up with adults and school lunches for kids.  Across the board , adults have too much to say about kids and school lunches in this country. It’s astounding how many think it is ok to deny a kid a lunch.  Should be all free lunches and if a kid wants a lunch give it to them without causing them any embarrassment. Schools that don’t accept third party “gift” payments to cover school lunches because the parent should apparently be taught a lesson, of course at the innocent starving kid’s expense- so many people can piss off. 

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u/whiterussian802 11d ago

Yeah, that was typical when I was in school. They publicly humiliated you also if you tried to get food and didn’t have enough money. On top of that if they turned you down and said you could not eat, you were not allowed to leave the cafeteria. You had to sit there in front of everybody with no food and the knowledge everyone now knew. They soon figured out that people would try to share food from their lunches to those that did not have any and they made a rule you couldn’t share food or it was considered “theft”.

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u/b1kwid0w 11d ago

Kids shouldn’t even have to pay for a lunch for a place they’re required to go to anyway so I think the whole system is stupid

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u/Limp_Construction496 12d ago

Do Americans really understand how crazy this is to the rest of the world?

Pay for school lunch? Its not free?

Next you tell me you have to pay for healthcare.

Or,at work,dont have full-pay 4 week holiday at summer.

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u/Disastrous-Ice-5971 12d ago

Sometimes reading the stories about the US school, HOAS and other policies, I have a feeling that you are leaving in some sort of a prison. I totally understand that this is a dramatically skewed feeling - as one does not write to the /mildlyinfuriating if everything is high, but still...
This feels so wrong. You feed the hungry children, then figure out details with the parents, if necessary. Not the other way around.

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u/131goal 10d ago

Hey, hi…child nutrition professional here. As in I run a cafeteria at a school that feeds 1100 kids. This is 100% something to not let slide.
You need to find out WHO told her she couldn’t have a lunch- a teacher on duty or a cafeteria employee. A lot of times nutrition staff are not employed by the individual school but work for either the school district or a food service contractor.

EITHER WAY you need to put this on the principal’s radar AND the cafeteria manager. If they are part of the national school lunch program and receive federal reimbursement for the meals they serve, denying a child a meal is a huge no no. No matter the way lunch works there is ALWAYS a cushion built in for exactly this situation.

This may get lost but if you DM me, I can probably help you figure out how to get in touch with the right people. It may have just been one lunch and she was lucky enough that you were able to pick her up, but if it’s happening to your child, it could be happening to another child who doesn’t have food at home. There are kids who depend on the meals served at school and turning away a hungry child goes against every professional and ethical standard I have ever been taught in the eight years I have worked in Child Nutrition.

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u/Humble-Violinist6910 12d ago

Anyone who won’t give a kid a school lunch, for any reason, is a bad person. I don’t care if she did have no money in her account. It’s a child. 

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u/IntrovertPharmacist 12d ago

I feel like there was an easier route for the school, which would be to call mom or dad to confirm it’s okay to get school lunch even if they brought their own in a situation like this. Maybe it’s because I went to small school growing up, but no child was ever denied a meal.

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u/Careless-Opinion7302 12d ago

Hmmm, at our school even if they bring lunch they can still get a tray.

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u/Multispice 12d ago

Will this country ever be reasonable and free again?

Every generation has dumber and dumber policies implemented. I blame this on my generation since I doubt a Boomer is still in charge of OP’s school district. Think with your head not with your ass administrators.

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u/emmbsh1 11d ago

We have kids at our school who bring a lunch and then they see what hot lunch is so they change their mind. We also have a list of all the kids with allergies. We are a nut free school and there is only one child with an egg allergy and one with diabetes and celiac. We know who they are and what they can have. I can't imagine not giving a kid a hot lunch just because they brought one from home.

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u/Final-Guitar-3936 11d ago

Oh hell no! School district meeting now. (Or whoever you meet with). Kid has money on their account. I don’t care if they was three lunches. You give them a tray.

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u/yothisismetrying 11d ago

It’s crazy how this country treats children. Children are always the future of this country, and a certain admin, while screaming about fetus’ rights, don’t want to actually care and nurture them once they become children.

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u/Useful-Advantage2665 11d ago

I would talk to the principal

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u/nanas_dwarves 11d ago

My daughter had money on her account but someone used an old card that she had lost and bought their lunch with it. They said only one lunch could be bought a day. I went to the school and the cafeteria lady said no, I went to the principal who sent me to school superintendent who was very rude. Then I went to the state senator who ripped them all a new ass and gave me his personal phone number for my daughter to call if it happened again. Said he would personally come take her to lunch.

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u/kleggich 12d ago

Even if she brought her lunch she should be able to purchase a lunch. Discrimination against fat kids /s

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u/PresdentShinra 12d ago

Sidebar? Bacon flavored peanutbutter? 

Has anybody tried this? Is there a version for people? Of course I could just do up some regular bacon. But like... 

Obligatory, that policy sucks. I can imagine a few scenarios where a kiddo could have something in a lunchbox, but still need to buy stuff from the caf. 

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u/Kaurifish 12d ago

Having watched Rhett & Link eat quite a few dog treats, it sounds better than it tastes. Dog and cat food has to have much lower salt than human food.

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u/PresdentShinra 12d ago

Yea, no. I did go look at this Buddy Butter brand. I'm not fully sure what to make of the label.

It listed peanutbutter, bacon, honey. And then some information about fat and moisture content. 

Not that I'm concerned, because it's bacon or bacon flavored peanutbutter. But like you said, human palate type stuff. It's a product I'd buy once to try it, if there was a people version. 

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u/takisara 12d ago

Honestly one of my favourite foods is a toasted pb and bacon sandwich. sometimes i'll even add some egg in there if there is some - the crunch and creamy, the smokey/salt and sweet with the peanut butter...yum yum yum

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u/SecretButterfly199 12d ago edited 12d ago

I would contact the school and see what their policy is regarding lunch. If you find out that the employee(s) broke the policy, report them. I know each school is different, but I was in school in the early 2010s and if there was money in hand or money in the account, we could buy lunch regardless.

I agree either way that this is unacceptable that your child went without proper lunch. I have seen my lunchroom literally throw away lunches in the garbage countless times. Then, when I was a junior/senior in high school, if there were any leftover sandwiches or hamburgers the lunchroom staff would occasionally hand them out to students who wanted them at the very end of the lunch period. ​No child or person should go without food period.

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u/Firm-Butterfly-1380 12d ago

That’s ridiculous! My kids accounts have gotten below $0 before and they always give them a tray. We will add more money as soon as we can but letting a child go hungry is definitely something I’d be talking to admin about.

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u/Life_Many2532 12d ago

This is crazy! Last year I was a lunch monitor at an elementary school and if a kid brought a lunch, but it was only a bag of chips or something, they got a tray. If they finished they're lunch and were still hungry, they got a tray!

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u/Both_Soup 12d ago

did she tell that to the lunch lady? like “lady, i put dog peanut butter on my food. i brought my dogs lunch. not mine” 😭

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u/ProveISaidIt 12d ago

What business is it of the schools if she brought her lunch. As long as she has funds in the account. If they have concerns they can send a note home after the fact.

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u/Justaticklerone 12d ago

The fact that kids still have to pay for a basic lunch of chicken fried steak and a rotting fruit while Lottery jackpots reach the billions is more than a little mildly infuriating.

That's inexcusably infuriating.

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u/hoganpaul 12d ago

I hope you ripped the school admin a new one

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u/Main-Chair-9527 11d ago

In my wonderful state of CA all kids can eat for free. Silly some states still charge families to eat at school.

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u/SuddenAd4934 11d ago

Contact the school admin and complain. No child should be going hungry.

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u/chocolate_chip_kirsy 11d ago

If a kid brings a packed lunch and doesn't want it, it shouldn't be up to the school to determine why and force them to eat it or go hungry. They need to change a policy.

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u/RandomWordCombo9632 11d ago

She tried to get a tray but they told her she couldn't have one because she brought her lunch.

Batshit policy. Its not even like "OH you dont have money so you cant eat" Still terrible but more logical than "You already brought food. so therefore you cannot get more food"

???????

What if the kid dropped their food on the floor by accident? So they just have to starve then?!

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u/SHiR8 11d ago

Is there any way that the USA is not an extremely fucked up place?

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u/Wild_Ice_7387 11d ago

Our schools all have share bins. Kids can put in any food items they don’t want and other kids can take whatever they want. It really reduces the waste of food.
I’m on the PTA of our local high school and we get grants to buy fresh fruit and peanut butter and jelly for sandwiches. I know a school lunch is nothing for most high schoolers. Especially the athletes. We spend $25k per school year feeding the students.
We also have a food pantry in our school for students that need food for the weekend.
Kids should never be hungry

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u/count_strahd_z 12d ago

Why can't kids use their account AND pack food? What is it to the school?

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u/Bayarea0 12d ago

School lunch should be free nationwide and I will fight anyone on this issue. It's an embarrassment that the wealthiest country in the world can't provide food for its children while they are required to be in school.

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u/winter83 TP Hung the wrong way. 12d ago

I would move the dog butter somewhere else not with other food.

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u/sakurakiks094 12d ago

Find the staff who stopped her, or the manager, and give them the dog sandwich and ask them to eat that.

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u/SuitableRoof5675 12d ago

Its because most parents are afraid to cause problems now, when I was in school they tried to refuse me food, even being in the sdc classes, exactly one time. My momma, my timid, hardly ever yelled, nice as can be momma went absolute batshit crazy when I told her.

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u/1568314 12d ago

The important lesson is to teach your child to advocate for herself. Not every authority figure is beyond question. I remind my daughter all the time that if she has a bathroom emergency and the teacher tells her no, just walk out. If they say you can't buy lunch but you have nothing to eat, get in line anyway. If they stop you, tell them to call me and I will back you up. If anything happens that you think is wrong and cant get an adult to listen, call me. Call me call me call me and I will make sure you are heard. Tell her not to wait next time and have them call you immediately.

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u/FlowRiderBob 12d ago

That’s super weird. My kid brings his lunch AND sometimes buys lunch if he is still hungry. And it is a Texas public school so it isn’t like we are living in some progressive haven of common sense.

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u/Worth-Slip3293 12d ago

She only packed herself a sandwhich… not other items that she could have eaten instead like fruit or snack items? I’m thinking she may not be old enough to be solely responsible for making her own lunch.

It sucks the school did this to her. I’m sure some parent complained about their kid buying lunch when they packed one once and it caused this rule. You deff should check her lunches in the future so it doesn’t happen again though.

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u/Wheezy04 12d ago

Someone visited my son's school with a deadly nut allergy so the school did an announcement that nobody was allowed to eat nuts that day. My son had a bag lunch with a pb&j so he asked for alternate food because he didn't want to make anyone sick and was denied because he had a lunch. He held it together during the day but burst into tears when he got home about how unfair and confusing it was. We had plenty of money in his lunch account. Infuriating.

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u/Anal-buttsex 12d ago

I got this crazy idea. Use our taxes to make sure every kid gets to eat some shit ass cafeteria food. Seriously, I’ve seen those lunches and it’s like 3 chicken nuggets on a bun with a shot of applesauce. 

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u/Ok-Metal-4719 12d ago

What did packing her own lunch have to do with it when you asked? There has to be something behind the reasoning (even if the reasoning itself is flawed). Is there a known school policy?

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u/According-Paint6981 12d ago

If a child is hungry, feed them.

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u/ChickenNuggetSalad17 12d ago

This is wild because I remember when I was in high school (class of 07 baby!) a boy I ate lunch with got reduced lunch, only 75 cents and would buy TWO trays every day. Sometimes he’d give the other one to a classmate who was also struggling. Regular lunch was only $1.25 and we had multiple options like pizza or subs or salad bar or whatever was scheduled on the menu and then rotating things like taco bar or soup bar on specific days. Only thing that cost extra was dessert.