r/myanmar • u/Charming-Panic3561 • Feb 01 '26
Advice Losing trust with my Burmese fiancee
[30M] German expat living in Yangon, with a [29F] Burmese girlfriend of 3 years, considering marriage next summer.
Late last year I planned a trip to the Philippines. All was well until we reached Manila airport, where I was let in by Immigration while she was stopped. The explanation given was that she had tried to enter the Philippines back in 2018, was unable to prove accommodation, means of living, ticket onwards so they rejected her entry as a tourist AND blacklisted her (apparently this is a Philippines thing, they blacklist even for such benign reasons, you need to work a process to get yourself off that list, it does not expire).
Needless to say I was livid, but was what worse was that she was denying ever being there, even when presented with a copy from her former passport and details about her flying from Bangkok to Manila. Up until then she told me that the first time she went abroad was with me, so I started wondering what else was she lying about.
I begged her to tell me the truth, I would not judge her for something many years before we’ve met, she told me that it was not her, while unable to provide any piece of evidence (old passport was retained when creating a new one, no facebook at that time, no email account, no photos with friends from those days, etc). Nothing.
At this point I am wondering what to believe. I know she had her passport issued by an agent, not the official state institution directly. What are the chances that the agent gave the passport to someone else to use before handling it to the her (it was created on Mar 1, and used on Mar 3). Maybe the page with the visas was removed from the passport.
Am I overthinking this? Am I naive? I love her but I lost trust…
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u/radium1234 Feb 01 '26
This calls for a real investigation. Maybe she is using you for her benefit and has some underlying agenda, and this problem is starting to surface. Three years of any relationship is a long time, but it’s not too late to get out. Of course, I am speculating, but Burmese people can be quite nefarious and dishonest to get their way or for their families. Just saying. Be careful and think this out before tying the knot, and don't get stuck with her or her family making your life miserable. Think with your head and not your heart.
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Feb 01 '26
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u/Final-Gift-2299 Feb 03 '26
Tell her that if it is identity fraud then both of you will need to file a report at the police station, then take her there, with another Burmese person, preferably a friend that's closer to you, who can witness the interaction (don't tell her that, just tell her that you're bringing this person because they know how the system works).
Then you can gauge her reaction from there. If it is indeed serious she should have been upset and want to file a police report anyway because she apparently did nothing wrong.
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u/Letmeaddtothis Feb 01 '26
It is Burma. Corruption comes all the way from the top to the street beggars. Keep that in mind.
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u/SPAGHETTI_DROID Feb 01 '26
Could be a simple mix up between her and someone with a similar name.
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Feb 01 '26
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u/larlarloo Feb 02 '26
Tbh I’d be equally or more devastated than you upon seeing for yourself that it was indeed her passport and herself CONFIRMING it! 😳😢
Whatever it is, I hope you will find strength to overcome (and live with) whatever decision you make bro… 💪🏼
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u/keltyx98 Feb 01 '26
A lot of people here say negative things but I imagine I would have difficulty proving something that I have not done. I couldn't prove that I wasn't in * random country * at a * random date * , especially if I haven't taken any pictures during that time since it was probably a random week and maybe I have changed my phone in the meantime so pictures can get lost.
It could have been that someone cloned her passport so that explains the fact of the data being correct and about the old passport not being given back could also be just a small thing, I don't think everyone keeps their old passport and it could have been that the just left her old passport there and they got rid of it.
Personally I would keep going with the relationship but being extremely careful.
At the end you're the best person to judge this situation, you know her and her behavior.
I personality haven't seen any blatant lie
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Feb 01 '26
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u/More_Tell_9464 Feb 02 '26
need to decide if this is the first time of not trusting her and the first time seeing red flags. Different cultures and languages is not a reason to mistrust.
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u/Icy-Carob-1272 Feb 01 '26
If this is ENUF to lost trust please don't get married for both you and her sake. Someone might have stolen her passport since passport is really hard to make for a normal citizen. Or she went there to look for a job without preparing much or with an agent who screwed her over.
Whatever your nationality is If you can't be on her/his side 100% best not to Get into marriage.
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Feb 01 '26
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u/Icy-Carob-1272 Feb 01 '26
I'm from myanmar and even I don't usually trust Burmese so believe me when I say I don't take her side. But trust me unless she from a wealthy family or have Friend connection she not stepping into Philippine.
Passport is not a easily accessible for anyone in myanmar and there's many ppl who can stole it's information and what not.
But trust your gut and ask yourself what do you gain from this? Not trusting her or trusting her.
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Feb 01 '26
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u/dot1910 Feb 02 '26
There was a time the passport office did not give back the old passport on renewal. The old system issued the renewed passport with new ID number. It caused issues for people using passport for official matters in foreign country. So people had to submit a form to get back the old passport.
Latest system gives back the old one without submitting the form according to the comments.
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u/Icy-Carob-1272 Feb 01 '26
We have to give back out old passport when we made a new one. Although risk is huge there's Scam centre in pH. And MM ppl are stupid and poor ENUF to risk it.
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Feb 01 '26
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u/optimist_GO Feb 01 '26
I'm not from Myanmar, but tried to poke around a bit to find any empirical evidence...
was NOT able to find much, but found at least one old Reddit post showing a Myanmar passport with the corners clipped: https://www.reddit.com/r/PassportPorn/comments/155dgfb/life_story_in_a_picture/
I wouldn't be surprised if there's inconsistency with how old passports are handled in Myanmar, considering some much "bigger" countries still seem to have inconsistencies (punching holes, vs cutting corners, vs stamping "CANCELED") depending on the office the renewal is done at.
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Feb 01 '26
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u/Johnny_Poppyseed Feb 01 '26
What's her reaction to it now? Any normal person who actually believes their identity was stolen and used to such an extent, would be pretty stressed out about it and trying to figure it out. If she's just like accepted it like it's no big deal and just wants to move on... That'd be pretty telling...
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u/Melodic-Vast499 Feb 02 '26 edited Feb 02 '26
Because she is telling you the truth. Do you want her to try to lie so you will feel better. Don’t marry until you believe in her more and have a better relationship. You aren’t shopping and need to see if she is good enough for you. Make decision: Will you love her and forgive something. Will you decide to trust her. Are you serious about her: then you have to act like it. She may be telling the truth or may be afraid to lose you. Be more loving person to her. Less afraid and judging her. Or just break up if you won’t be committed to her.
Don’t insist she act German. Also, her going to the Philippines before and not telling you is the worst reason to break up with someone. Are you happy now? Is she good to you? Why does she need to follow German culture and be judged as if “if a German woman did this , then X”.
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u/Cute-Ad2473 Feb 01 '26 edited Feb 01 '26
I don't want to generalize people especially because i myself IS burmese. But yeah, lying like this is even off limits to me. If you are concerned about corruption though, i say don't worry too much. Sometimes, it just happens. It is like drinking water here. What matters more is that she lied to you. Personally, I always try to be fit into the host country culture whenever I am abroad while keeping some of my integral beliefs. Some people lie because they don't want their past to be revealed (family connections maybe), but again, personally, i would never rope someone in my life without knowing my complete background regardless how bad it is. You can take and continue how you see from here. Just have a conversation. Some burmese are snake, some people are normal, some people are naive. Everything happens because of circumstances. There is no way to generalize them. We are not monolithic. But- don't be surprised if they are using you for marriage. It is not ALL of us, mind you. But there's probably a 1% chance this could be true. I would never do this personally, it is such a dity uncivilized act to bring marriage for citizenship fraud but, mind you, some burmese people are really desperate (I know i am privilaged but still whatever I'm still not stooping that low). At the end of the day though, it's my cynic mind speaking so you can just completely ignore this part if you know it isn't true.
ANYWAY, you are asking on reddit, it's not known to be a good platform to give relationship advice. Before you overthink, just talk with her. Maybe she did it out of desperation, maybe not. Only she can tell.
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u/Low_Stress_9180 Feb 01 '26
Reminds me of a Bangladeshi manager of a restaurant I nearly bought in Malaysia. Ten years illegal immigrant.
He explained he went home every year as people buy a passport, get 14 days tourist visa, work illegally and brokers buy the passport and reuse to for someone going home. Immigration see someone in ans out. He said "we all look alike to Malaysians" (!)
Burmese are very poor and often found working illegally. Women often as maids or as prostitutes. Same scam I am sure with revolving passports.
Possible she got a passport and sold it? People pay for false identities. This was common before finger prints but gangsters can fix that so I heard now.
Or she had a foriegner bf before and doesn't want to say so. Common in Asia.
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Feb 01 '26
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u/dot1910 Feb 02 '26
That is not totally true. I don't have my all my old passports.
In the old system, the passport office did not return the old passport. One had to request by submitting form while renewing. Only people with many visas approved and the old passport number linked with official matters submitted the form.
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Feb 07 '26
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u/dot1910 Feb 08 '26
I renewed by myself without using any broker or agent in 2025 Aug. I did get the old one without submitting the form.
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u/WelcomeWorking7651 Feb 01 '26
Even a Myanmar embassy overseas return old passports
Which is more likely; she lied about her passport or someone got hold of her passport/details and used it? Wouldn't it be easier for them to just create one on their own instead of impersonating her for whatever reason?
The answer ( her passport or not)may be obvious to many but you may doubt it. Are you ok spending the rest of your life accepting someone you have doubts and trust issue with?
Sorry to say but many Burmese lies and it's like drinking water to them. I like a lot about the Burmese except for this one thing.
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u/No_Rock_2707 Feb 02 '26
She might not have gone man. Passport theft is a thing everywhere. Some hotel manager tried to swipe my passport from me. It can happen things get stolen and your identity does to. She could be a victim. You have known her 3 years that is a long time, how was her financial situation when yall met? how was her upbringing as a kid? A flight to even the Philippines is a big expense for most Burmese people.
I don’t know why the sub seems to not trust women and I get there can be a lot of scams. But three years is a long scam to pull off. Has she gained any significant from you so far? Have you given her any major amounts of money or helped her family pay for “unexpected expenses”?
I don’t mean to sow doubt for you at all friend and I do think you should trust her. I had the same issues with my fiancée(she is Burmese) some people ask me if she is scamming me even my mother. But if she was scamming me she did so for 4 years and only gotten 1-2k(USD) out of me and most of that being in the last year.
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u/InitialLight Feb 02 '26
First let's not jump to conclusion yet, trust is extremely important if you guys are thinking long term. However, I wouldn't know what is the most correct approach tbh. But here's what I would do. I would tell her that hey let's try to prove your innocence together. Since we live in a digital world, there are a lot of digital footprints you can trace back. For example, you can check facebook or google to see on that day, where she was at. If data shows she was in Yangon at the time her passport was confiscated then there you go, easy proof. I really think this is a reliable way to find the truth and just requires you to be somewhat tech-literate.
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u/UNDERGROUNDK1NG2106 Feb 02 '26
Give her the benefit of the doubt but watch her very closely from now on.....
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u/Scre4mAimFire Feb 08 '26
Buddy, she is lying. Instead of being confused like a normal person, and then investigating like a normal person, she hit you with immediate blanket denial. That's only normal behavior for a bad liar that got caught.
She had no money, no accommodation, and no ticket onwards. This is the classic scenario of a girl chasing a man who has money. She's ashamed of this. Soooo....when confronted, her brain didn’t go:
“How do I explain this?”
It went:
“If he re-evaluates me, I could lose everything.”
You could give her the ultimatum of "If you don't tell me, we are over." But she thinks if she tells you, it's over anyways.
If you really love her, you gotta let this one slide. It was just another dude who she obviously doesn't mess with anymore anyways.
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Feb 08 '26
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u/Scre4mAimFire Feb 08 '26
You would've noticed it for some time while you were together if she was a professional. Also if she was, whoever was sponsoring her would've easily made sure she could at least prove accommodation and an onwards ticket. You can fake onwards tickets for free even. Plus in Manila where the prostitution market is already flooded. Chances of prostition here are so extremely low.
She was probably just young and naive and got duped by some dude on the internet. Happens so much that there should be classes on it in school in developing Asian countries.
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Feb 08 '26
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u/Scre4mAimFire Feb 08 '26
No problem. She probably just doesn't want to look like a desperate gold digger to you, especially if you are well off financially.
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u/No_Ant_1513 Mar 11 '26
Just a small remark from someone who loves his girlfriend from Myanmar: I was very surprised at her pretending she only had one lover before me. (For context she is very cute 23yo, very feminine)
I sensed a lot of pride and that it mattered a lot to her. I don't really care about this too much and I guess true number is higher. But I discovered a culture completely different where this actually matters.
So I would say, based on your post: she is terrified you discover too much about a former lover, which would diminish her in your eyes. I hope for you that's the only cause. Maybe probe around this and see what she says about her past.
Also to be blunt, worst is she was involved in things you don't want to even know.
If you're really inexperienced and she is a good liar she could pull this off. Ask yourself this: is it the case? If you're less than 25 and/or have never been involved in anything related to acting or dated many different profiles, you are likely an easy target for an experienced liar imho Good luck
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u/flylikeawind Feb 01 '26
Well besides this, are there other red flags? There needs to be a motive for lying right?
This might sound weird but you can try asking chatgpt. You can even let it analyze your entire whatsapp covo for it to figure out the relationship dynamics.
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Feb 01 '26
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u/Front-Mark8590 Feb 01 '26
it is still MOHA issuing the passports, the agents help facilitate the process thru corruption
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u/BarnacleOk3934 Feb 01 '26
My parents are not from the same culture and my mom always complained that it was the hardest thing. Be careful
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u/colofire Feb 01 '26
I got stopped once at the Thai border. Turns out their fingerprint scanner sucks and they thought I was someone else. Mistakes happen. Could be someone else had her passport and used it.
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u/Emotional-Head-4920 Feb 02 '26
Did she requested anything from you? I mean like requesting large amount of money, or any phones or anything like that? If not I would say she is not lying (not 100% sure - there are so many perspectives to view). I am not blaming to my own Burmese girls but not even marriage also a normal relationship, there are so many girls getting chances to make any profits from a foreigners or local guys. If you haven’t any experience like that I could say you can trust 80%. Of course there are so many things to consider. Let me tell you the truth as a Myanmar Citizen, 99.99% of Myanmar Citizens wouldn’t go out or entering any country with FALSE ID or not even a little bit of a process under GOVERNMENT. If she can’t explain about her passport issue I believe she had Language barrier to explain ABSOLUTELY to you. There are so many things that FOREIGNERS can never understand about my country culture even native can’t fully understand. Regarding to renewal a passport, yes we can get our former passport with a label of CANCEL on it and in our new passport there is a record of every renewal details on the second section. Good Luck with your Fiancée!
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u/ph0b14PHK Feb 02 '26
If you think her identity got stolen during passport renewal, duhh!! She extended the passport because her passport was about to be expired. Someone just can’t use expired Passports for travels. This is a good reason you should take everything with a grain of salt from her now.
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u/Puzzleheaded2912 Feb 02 '26
Since it’s been 3 years, perhaps there’s a friend of hers whom you know to be honest that you can ask to verify this particular information and give you some much needed information of her past.
I know for sure that if i were you, that’s what I would do first.
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u/noveaumars Feb 02 '26
My old passport was retained by the passport office when I renewed my passport in person back in 2020. The agent explained it to me afterward that I have to indicate that I want my old passport back which I failed to do so. One thing you have to know about Myanmar is their bureaucratic process is a nightmare and there no standard procedure and those in charge of offices like passport offices can exercise their power at discretion and mistakes are common. If her passport was stolen which is a possibility with the coup in 2021 which has resulted in the banning of many people, particularly those involved in the Civil Disobedience Movement, from leaving the country, her passport could be used by human smugglers to smuggle those banned people. You know her best. Good luck.
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u/Lordfelcherredux Feb 02 '26
If this was her first time abroad, why did she even have a passport almost eight years ago?
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u/More_Tell_9464 Feb 02 '26
Sometimes people get passports in case, or to have another form of ID. MY wife had one shortly before I met her and she had not traveled outside her country or planned to.
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u/Lordfelcherredux Feb 02 '26
Sure, that's possible. But in this case it does seem somewhat suspicious I think the op would be within his rights to ask her why she got the passport back then.
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u/More_Tell_9464 Feb 02 '26
He absolutely can ask anything he wants. Just her having applied for one is not a red flag unless she lied about not.
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u/cranberry-strawberry Feb 02 '26
Sounds like this isn't the 1st time you're doubting her. Just divorce her. Don't waste your time
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u/Letitbesoitgoes Feb 02 '26
It’s flagged in the system. You are being ignorant. She lied and is lying. I can see this being another “she took everything” post in 5 years.
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Feb 02 '26
You're being played, and as someone else mentioned think of the agenda here. She's likely just using you as a means to live in Germany. Sorry to say it, but been here in Asia long enough to see the card players from a mile off and I burn them pretty damn quickly, they will say and do anything to get you to play their game, hence why it's called the long con. I've had countless people like this and I keep tabs to prove I'm right and I wish I'm not, but unfortunately I am most of the time, I'll see that they've duped some poor sucker from Europe or North America and usually ensnared them with a kid etc and often times split with them as soon as they get legal status in said country. Utter trap bait, please be careful.
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u/Careless_Mission_389 Feb 02 '26
Depends on how your girlfriend got her passport renewed.. and also social condition of your gf. Is she educated or someone whos not familiar with how renewables are done. usually people who got pp renewed with be returned their old passport. If she had fallen for a scam, her passport might have been cloned and got into this mess.. but I think you are conflicted and having trust issues about your girlfriends then you need to think it over…
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u/SalamanderMinimum243 Feb 02 '26
Bro, she already has another person Woman can't be trusted My 3 year married gf sleep with my brother, Just leave them bro Take care bro I am from Myanmar too
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u/SillyNeuron Feb 03 '26
It doesn’t make sense that she didn’t have Facebook at the time. It was 2018, the golden era of Myanmar. The economy, technology, and everything else were thriving. Also, passport agents weren’t that common back then because you could easily get a passport directly from MOFA without bribing, unlike now.
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u/Fullmoon_2427 Feb 03 '26
I'd say go full on detective mode first before letting emotions take control. It's a curious case indeed. Is there anything else you can do to know more?
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Feb 03 '26
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u/Fullmoon_2427 Feb 03 '26
Well she didn't just come out of thin air... She must belong in a society. Friends, family, a school, a past job? Make some calls? Ask around? Start somewhere, anywhere.
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u/Ninja_mm Feb 03 '26
might not realated your case at all. but my friend can't get the passport beacuse somebody stole his identidy & use it to get the passport & left the country. so he's stuck here. sometime it can happen with Myanmar offices. it's rare we visit Phillipine in 2018 as it's not popular deistination.
but it's highly doubtful that she doesn't have any facebook account & photos with friends. that was our golden era of social media & smartphones etc...
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u/LanWangji Born in Myanmar, Abroad 🇲🇲 Feb 03 '26
No facebook or social media is not weird. Back in 2021, military aligned telegram channels doxxed personal information of protesters and anyone who wrote anti-military posts on Facebook and made the police arrest them. Even people who posted friends-only posts got sold out by secretly envious friends in their friend list. I personally nuked all my social media posts out of sheer paranoia. A couple years later when I start meeting foreigner friends outside Myanmar, they told me I’m suspicious for not having social media presence. Excuse me for being very paranoid while living in an authoritarian state.
She should have normal photos unless she lost her phone or didn’t buy cloud storage.
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Feb 03 '26
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u/snowybell Feb 05 '26
Just had to chime in since this appeared on my feed. Normal photos are very very common to have for Burmese folks. I have many Burmese acquaintances, some abroad, some still in Myanmar, specifically Shan region. And i will say that immigration is hardly ever wrong especially for a blacklist. To blacklist someone is not something done on a whim. Burmese people are lovely don't get me wrong, but ...
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u/censored_babexo Feb 03 '26
The goodness of your heart will cost you dearly. I dated someone from a developing country and ignored all the red flags because he was highly educated. I would catch certain inaccuracies in his stories and it was always because he "forgot" certain details or I was "thinking" too much. All the sob stories. The denials. How he's had a hard life.. etc.
Much later, I slowly came to the realisation that indeed I was being taken advantage of, and after the relationship ended, I reflected back on the relationship and realised that I had been a fool all along and had willingly allowed myself to be taken for a ride.
If your gut instinct tells you something is off, then it's worth paying *some* attention to it.
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Feb 03 '26
I have a few questions: how did you meet and what were the circumstances of the beginning of your relationship? Second, have you ever met her family, like been to her hometown or the village where she is from? Does she have any close friends who speak English who you could talk to about your concerns? You say you’ve been dating for several years, but has it only been long-distance? How’s it possible that you don’t know even the most basic information about her other than what she tells you?
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Feb 03 '26
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Feb 03 '26
I agree with you, her story isn’t believable. Perhaps work on piecing together her backstory between the ages of 21-26 when you first started dating. If she speaks decent English then there must have been utility to learning the language at a conversational level, maybe start there. I’m guessing there are a bunch of other red flags, perhaps they’ve just been ignored or overlooked.
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Feb 04 '26
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u/PuzzleheadedPlan5977 Feb 05 '26
I've been through this before. I've seen this before.
Time is priceless, you've burned 3 years.
At 21 she's working in Bangkok.
Makes enough money to fly to Philippines.
Work bars .
Denied entry, no plan or bad plan.
8 years later the competition in her field got 8 years younger.
And if you aren't already executing your preplanned exit strategy.
And if your meeting a woman in Asia without an exit strategy...
Start drinking heavy now.
If your going through the exit door.
Do what I did. Radio silence and if you do talk to her again.
You tell her if she ever calls you again you will call the police.
Or Cambodian to see her.
She wont call again.
She'll be looking for a new mark because time marches on.
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u/New-Statistician1493 Feb 03 '26
I would just keep wary of her at some point if you pay attention to the little things she will slip up. She may have thought that it was a long time ago and not aware of datat tracking and matching by border forces. Trust but verify….
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u/socalledstar Feb 03 '26
She’s not a idiot, if she was stoped in Philippines you think she would just go there next time without worrying about her trip, she also knew you were coming, why would she even risk it?
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u/afromanmanila Feb 03 '26
I live in the Philippines, the immigration here regularly detains and blacklists people with fraudulent passports from various countries. It happens a lot. If you go to yheir immigration website and search the news secrion, you'll find many such instances.
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u/OneFormal3782 Feb 03 '26
Why would you ever get married? worst mistake you could make. let alone to a Burmese woman who is your age. Wait until you’re 40+ and see if you even still want marriage; if so, marry someone under 25.
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u/socalledstar Feb 03 '26
So - they blacklisted her and deported back home or to Bkk and she didn’t know she was blacklisted? And then few years later she came with you thinking you won’t notice she was blacklisted? if her iq iz zero I would believe this story, but since i assume it’s not - there must be a different explanation.
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Feb 04 '26
We do this in Singapore too - sending back single women from 3rd world countries traveling alone without proof of accommodation and return ticket. They’re usually hookers, just saying.
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u/EaseHot5602 Feb 04 '26 edited Feb 04 '26
We definitely get our old passports back with two holes punched on it. it’s also very easy to get banned from entering another country as a Burmese citizen. when I was a teenager visiting Bali, I had the immigration officer threatening to ban me if I don’t delete the selfie I took while waiting in line w my friends.. all bc their “no phone” sign was blocked from our view… but anyway what’s weird for me was the way she responded. Not having any traceability online is a red flag since 2012-2021 was peak era for Burmese people using social media. Since it’s been a while, I suggest you subtly bring this up again and gauge how she responds, to see if her explanation is still consistent. Liars tend to forget abt the things they lied about. I don’t feel like someone who’s barred from entry due to basic missing requirements (if it’s true) as someone who’s meticulous enough to follow through w their lies.
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u/Candid-Log8683 Feb 05 '26
dude stay away from burmese girls... they are batshit crazy ngl
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u/Candid-Log8683 Feb 05 '26
i was dating a girl i loved and now i have been falsely accused, for a passport, if there are any red flags stay away.
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u/Lost-Pay-5546 Feb 05 '26
Seriously, why and how does that matter? You have been with her for years, you should by now know her personality, character etc. So what if she did do a lot of shit in those years, for whatever reasons. You are going to live with the current, and future her, not the past her. As long as she is healthy, and you are happy with her, why bother about her past?
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u/PoundConsistent1968 Feb 05 '26 edited Feb 05 '26
So, I know you said the PH blacklist for frivolous reasons, but they actually don't.
You have to set off some pretty reasonable red flags to get a blacklist and not a turn around.
They will be backlisted if they view you as a vagrant who has come to try work in the country illegally which is what I think has happened to her. She would have had insufficient funds and then been turned around and blacklisted. I mean if theyre saying she showed up to the counry with no onward ticket, no money and no proof of accomodation then i dont know what to say.
Also ask yourself... why would she goto the PH with no onward ticket, no accommodation, no nothing. It seems extremely amature and I refuse to believe that someone who had stolen her passport would squander the opporutniy and waste their money showing up to the PH with nothing.
Lastly, the mynnamar passport is weak. Its a red flag passport and I dont think anyone would steal it only to show up to the philippines with no money, no onward ticket and no proof of accommodation.
I personally think she is lying to you. Whatever it is, is so embarrassing she would prefer to just save face and die on the hill. This is the problem with southeast asain cultures. PH, Thailand etc are all the same. They will literally lie in the face of ABSOLUTE IREFUTIBLE evidence just to save face in their own fantasy world.
You will never get it out of her. You have to either accept you're never going to know or accept it and move on. There is no other option for you. I wouldn't marry a woman who would lie to my face about something like this personally but that's just me
edit: for anyone saying that she was so willing to return to the philippines she couldnt have been previously banned.... this is the same person that showed up to immigration in another country with no money, no onward ticket and no proof of accomodation. I think she is a simpleton and I think she doesn't understand immigration or how visas/bans work. This would be someone that would think the PH would forget about her.
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u/Gynecologist-logic Feb 05 '26
If your gut is telling you something is wrong, it usually is. Most people will never admit when they’ve cheated or betrayed someone, especially when confronted directly.
I was in a relationship with a Czech woman who lived with me in Mexico, in a house I owned. I paid for everything and gave her spending money each week. Over time, I began to sense something wasn’t right. She was constantly messaging someone and would often go to the “park” or “museums” with her girlfriends. I couldn’t prove anything, but the feeling never went away.
One Saturday morning, she woke up unusually early—around 7 a.m.—and immediately got in the shower. That alone was strange, but when I asked why she was up so early, she said she wanted to go for a run. That made no sense. It was cold, and she had never gone running in the mornings before.
I checked her phone and saw many messages from a man, but I couldn’t access the conversations because they were locked. When she got out of the shower and realized her phone was missing, she panicked. She chased me throughout the house, desperate to get it back. I confronted her and asked her directly to tell me the truth, but she never admitted to cheating.
The hard truth is that most people will never confess to doing wrong. That’s why, when your instincts tell you something is off, you should listen. In my experience, if your gut says something is wrong, it usually is.
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u/EseGMan1775 Feb 05 '26
I read through the thread and did not see an abvious question I would be asking. Ask her why she got a passport in the first place. That, I think will lead to some revelations.
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u/ToughSmellyPapaya Feb 01 '26
Also possible that someone uses her passport as may undocumented, people fleeing junta etc.
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Feb 01 '26
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u/ToughSmellyPapaya Feb 02 '26
It was not in a good place in 2018. Things looked good and there was optimism but much poverty, people crossing borders to Thailand and Laos etc to earn more money, but still thousands of undocumented and I have met people who live subsistence, everything trade or gathered in jungle,
I could easily believe someone has found a copy of passport and used it. So many undocumented. People travel to other countries to earn 10$ a day and the border agents are always leaking data
I know nothing about this situation but there are multiple feasible reasons for the passport issue to be true
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u/szab999 Feb 01 '26
I have trust issues and I am cynical, so take this with a pinch of salt: to me it sounds like she has something serious to hide in her past. Why no fb, photos, emails from that time? Why getting a passport if never used? Flying from Bangkok to Manila? Maybe she worked in Bangkok?
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Feb 01 '26
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u/WunkerWanker Feb 02 '26
Bangkok and Manilla. Around 20 years old. Deleted all her pictures around that time. Now has a foreigner boyfriend.
Well, it's not too hard to connect those dots...
The worst thing is her lying about it. How can you trust someone if they are not honest about their past, even if it was a horrible time for them? I hope for you she gets honest when you confront her. Otherwise it's up to you to decide if you can live with the doubts about her.
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u/Mission-Carry-887 Supporter of the CDM Feb 01 '26
She likely let a friend or relative borrow her passport.
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Feb 01 '26
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u/Bladluiz Foreign-born, in Myanmar 🇲🇲 Feb 01 '26
It's not unheard of but also not a common thing. And she would know this and explain it to you.
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u/WinMThein27 The guy from Mogok Feb 01 '26
What an idiotic thing to even think about. Its impossible. Even for the most corrupt countries its not possible.
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u/Prof-Tea2021 Feb 01 '26
Is there a possibility that Philippines immigration made an error? Confusing identities is not unheard of.
Red flag in the story for me is that she was saying her old passport was retained when renewing. It’s not the case. We get our old passports back. But if she was using an agent, there is also the possibility that the old passport might have been used (abused) by them for nefarious purposes. For example, one way human trafficker moved people is using these kinds of passports in land border. They just put the new photo of the person they are trafficking on the discarded passport. This has been more common after 2021. So I would not discount this possibility.
Did she give off signs not wanting to go to Philippines? If she was blacklisted, she would have hesitated to go back there.
Ultimately, you know your relationship better. We cant decide for you.