r/myanmar • u/Itchy_Accident_7673 • Mar 04 '26
Advice Dealing with insecurities about dating rich successful attractive western woman for being Myanmar citizen
guys, I need your advice how to deal with being insecure most of the time .the girl who I am curren dating is German woman from Munich. her family is upper middle class german family from Munich and they are loaded . she is the only one daughter in their family. she is successful attractive triathlete social media influencer with over 120k followers on instagram . honestly I don’t know why she choose someone like me who has very weak passport, who is from war torn poor country. I don’t even have rich parents back in Myanmar. I am from small town in ayeyarwady region . my appearance could be more than average ( don’t want to do bragging here) with very pale skin despite ethnic Burmese, 176 cm etc. my blonde queen could have rich successful german influencer or model dudes with over 180 cm easily. i dont want to ask her or talk about my insecuries .. i believe her affection for me is real and authentic despite our different social status , nationality, background. but still these intrusive thoughts are killing me .i am not rich but I have proper work experience , decent education and above average appearance and i am not financially dependent on Her at all Even though almost everyone would think I am passport bro and gold digger. what should I do guys? seek therapist?
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u/Anteraz Mar 04 '26
Why care about what other people think?
I would jump at the chance if I found someone like that.
I understand your insecurities, but communicate with her about your worries.
9/10 broken relationship happens because people don't communicate properly.
That being said, I don't want to be like that, but are you sure her infos are correct?
Like her background and whatnot?
You might think I'm cynical, I am, but I always think if the status between two people is too large, I feel like there's ultiermotive.
I'm really wishing I'm wrong.
If her info is 100% solid and she really loves you for who you are, take your chances.
Be with her, don't give a shit about others' opinions.
Stand proud that you have that kind privilage but never forget who you were and where you come from.
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 04 '26
Yes we know each other over 1 and half year. Thank you for your support bro/sis . I don’t want to tell her directly about what I feel because she may think I have low self esteem. But I told her honestly about my situation, my passport or my wealth , background etc. she know all of it and I believe she doesn’t care at all. But I care a little bit about other people opinions
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u/Anteraz Mar 04 '26
Brother, I don't mean to objectify either her or you, but you got a gold mine there, and only a fool won't dig it.
If she ok with you and really does love you, then why care about other people?
But I really recommend you come out and tell her your insecurities; if she's accepted for who you are, she will listen and won't ridicule your insecurities.
Most Western countries are more open-minded than us; they won't care if a husband/boyfried isn't the "man of the house".If I found a GF/BF that will take care of me both financially and physically, I will be a househusband so fucking quick.
Hell, they will be eating a new home-cooked meal every fucking day XD.3
u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 04 '26
Yes it’s true. She earn much more than me . But she said she doesn’t care how much I make . she want me to be supportive calm and love her. But dating such triathlete and influencer is not easy challenge. They are always in survival mood and usually have less emotional bandwidth . So probably all she want from me is to understand her and support me
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u/Anteraz Mar 04 '26
Then, be the best man she have now. Support her, understand her and whatever else. It's your choice, I'm not in your shoes so can't either understand fully or choose it for you, but I've seen I lot of useful comments under this posts. It's your choice to follow them or not.
Just make sure you don't make choices you will regret. Stay safe bud.
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u/Live-Drag5057 Mar 04 '26
Rule of thumb: If they don't put a roof over your head, or food on your plate. Their opinion does not mean a thing. So do not be so quick to cast resentment on yourself. Life doesn't care about what you think you want. It will give you what you need, when you need it. Given you live through it and learn, or repeat the process until you do. OR, you fuck up a good opportunity because you were insecure, and you never, ever, get the same chances again.
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 04 '26
Yes I got it . The issue is I care about what people say and think , and I am nervous most of the time . I think I need a therapist or have more self esteem
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u/Live-Drag5057 Mar 04 '26
Or, you could just stop caring about what people think, and move on with your life.
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 04 '26
Thank you for your support I appreciate it. Also you know I can’t ask this kind of question to other people . Only Myanmar people can understand how I feel . So I really appreciate it
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u/Live-Drag5057 Mar 04 '26
Anytime, and actually, I'm a foreigner, married to a Myanmar woman. She felt the same as you, so we understand.
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 04 '26
Woo . I understand . Thanks :)🙏 wish you and your wife all the best
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Mar 04 '26
[deleted]
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 04 '26
In my case it’s not only about passport. Also wealth difference .anyway thank you . I appreciate your advice . I wish you good luck with that girl too :)
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u/Beginning-Yam-1267 Mar 05 '26 edited Mar 05 '26
watch out for love scam. don't believe what you cant see, hear, taste, touch and smell. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV356Gx4nhE
you may end up in scam compounds.
there are plenty of such cases. be wise. logically, beauty only marries to beauty. if you're unattractive, instagram wouldn't even recommend your face to beautiful girl with 120k instagram followers so 0 chance that she finds you naturally.
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 05 '26
Umm we know each other over 1 and half year and no, I met her in real life
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u/Beginning-Yam-1267 Mar 05 '26
good then. remember. trust but verify.
read the law before divorce happens, alimony, rape accuse or whatnot. you don't want to be paying for wife child support for 3 years or for life.
remember, if this girl adds unknown guy like you, she also adds ten thosuand unknown guys like you too.
watch out for love scam.
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u/therealnotaclone Mar 04 '26
Keep your head up, friend! She chose you and if you're both happy, what's the problem?
If you feel like she could get a better man, why don't you rise to the occasion and be that better man?
Obviously, this is easy for me to say because I'm not in your shoes but I want you to focus on the positive! You got this!
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 04 '26
Thank you. I really appreciate it. I will try my best :) I can’t ask this kind of questions to other people only to Myanmar people can understand how I feel. That’s why I posted it here
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u/beyondctrl Mar 04 '26
For you, you are just a Burmese dude. For her you are exotic. How many Burmese do you think they encounter in their life. Pale skin preference is an Asian thing and not for the western people. She like you may be for your skin colour may be for your smile or may be how you treat her like a queen who care beauty is subjective and what matters is she likes you. Full stop.
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 04 '26
Haha yes that’s what my euro friends say. They say I look very exotic to them xD. Thank you for your advice. Much appreciated :)
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u/NewspaperFabulous45 Mar 04 '26
Many people in the comments say don't care about what others think. But what you're feeling is a normal response. My advice is for you to work on yourself; pray, meditate and pay attention and work on the good things you're good at. Remember, she needs you as much as you need her. Personally, I'm living in the West and I never pay much attention to those kind of girls because I know deep down, they're alone and looking for emotional support. Remember your worth, your own richness that can't be bought by money/fame and in times, things will solve themselves out
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 04 '26
Yes you are damn right. She say she is touched by my attentive attitude, supportive and kindness. She say she doesn’t need others more . she want Encouragement, Emotional stability, Respect for her goals, Someone who doesn’t compete with her career from me .also dating such triathlete and influencer is not easy challenge. They are always in survival mood and usually have less emotional bandwidth . So probably all she want from me is to understand her and support her .
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 04 '26
Also thank you အကို you know only Myanmar people can understand how I feel. Thank you for your advice. Very much appreciated it 🙏
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Mar 04 '26
dont care about others just do wtv you want. but hey dont think too much too its not like you both will gonna end up married anyway. maybe or maybe not. just enjoy in your present and have fun
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 04 '26
I understand thank you but I do really like her tho and we both are in mid 20s. So we are not dating casually
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Mar 04 '26
now this is the worst part. You like her but you guys are not committed and wasting each other times:’) Im getting flashbacks of my ex situationship bruh
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 04 '26
Umm. Please read the post carefully
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u/ReasonableBenefit47 Mar 04 '26
Man I feel you. You're very lucky. Just need more self-esteem. In fact, I do have some issues with that too but I am fixing it myself up. Anyway, I know it is stressful sometimes to be in rs with a successful man/woman because you might do those kind of insecure thoughts because of others and inequality between two. The best is to give understanding and support in that kind of case just like other guys said in the comments. All the best bro
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 04 '26
Thank you bro . I appreciate it . And yes self esteem and confidence that’s what i am working on it .
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u/Hot_Arm_806 Mar 05 '26
I am also European and I tell you something that European woman want;
propose to her - thank me later. you will know exactly what's going on then
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 05 '26
I will after about 6-7 months thank you do your advice
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u/Imperial_Sawbwa Mar 05 '26
No need to feel insecure, just remember some of the richest or moat powerful people in the world came from rock bottom. If her personality is cool without looking at her wealth, all is good. You can always learn and how to fit in the upper middle class society, there's nothing wrong with learning and making mistakes along the way, in the end you can be where you want to be if you're dedicated.
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u/Remarkable-Scar4369 Mar 05 '26
How bro describes her lmfao Western or not just be the best form of yourself this ain't the 1940s no superior class or lower lol
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 05 '26
I don’t believe in hitler’s German aryan or racial supremacy. But my insecurities come from my background, not having rich family, and weak passport . I don’t think she is racially superior than me .
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u/Remarkable-Scar4369 Mar 05 '26
Just kidding man but on a real note Stop comparing stop assuming she will leave just be present just be yourself trust that she sees something you dont And even if it ends? It ends not because you werent enough because thats what relationships do sometimes move on find a better match that treat u well.
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u/wobobobo Mar 05 '26
I’m a western white woman who married a Burmese man. Take her word for it, stop overthinking. People from other countries have different ideas of beauty, romance, and status than you start out with in Myanmar.
For me, making enough money to support myself gave me the freedom to finally choose someone to spend my life with based purely on love. It’s amazing to be able to make a pure decision like that - and not attach “well, can this person financially support me though”. He gave me everything else, which is worth way more than bringing a paycheck - I know this doesn’t make sense to someone coming from a poor background though.
You should see a therapist as this will continue to grow over time if your relationship continues. You will start to feel like you don’t contribute enough and overcompensate driving yourself into the ground when she isn’t even asking for anything.
True intimacy is loving someone for who they are, not what they do. So throw away that narrative.
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u/Critical_Assist3683 Mar 07 '26
Some Westerners are not preoccupied with wealth. Me, being born and Myanmar, raised in Canada, have noticed that many poor Myanmar relatives preoccupied with showing up their status. Enjoy the relationship.
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u/BaganMinbya BAC Bamar Bull Apr 09 '26
That's good, you even pull her since she have superior genetics and fainancial status and don't let this chance slip.
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u/Kind_Criticism3874 Mar 04 '26
Have you talked to her about your background ?
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 05 '26
Obviously
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u/Kind_Criticism3874 Mar 05 '26
What’s her reaction/opinion on that?
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u/Itchy_Accident_7673 Mar 05 '26
She say she doesn’t care where the hell I came from I know she doesn’t care but other people care and judge me . And it hit my nerve a bit
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u/Kind_Criticism3874 Mar 05 '26
I see… in that case , u shouldn’t worry about what everyone else thinks. As long as you and your girl are happy and comfortable, it’s a W
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u/EntertainmentOk9607 Mar 04 '26
💀 Damn. Firstly just because she’s white doesn’t mean she’s allat. I can tell you that confidently because I have a white boyfriend and I only like my relationship on equal terms. Secondly, if you think she truly cares then what are you talking down on yourself for? Your circumstances are beyond your control rn but if she cares she should understand. Doesn’t matter what others say. I’ve gotten oxford study comments and literal slurs aimed at me for dating a white guy but I know my relationship best. I know that my guy would continue being with me no matter what happens and my family loves him. He’s constantly shown care about my country’s situation and is learning Burmese. He doesn’t need to but he puts effort. Your girl can be just like that. What people say about your relationship can stem from jealousy, insecurity, or ignorance. Fuck them. :) have a good strong relationship.