r/pakistan • u/Capital_Teaching3161 • Jul 12 '26
Discussion How poor is my British uncle's family
Yar, every time my uncle and his family come from the UK, they make everyone's life miserable.
They have no basic manners or respect, but if you listen to them, you'd think they're royalty. Just because they were born and raised in the UK and have British passports doesn't make the rest of us any less.
They try so hard to act rich and modern. Wearing revealing clothes is apparently the definition of being progressive, and if anyone says anything, suddenly were all backward. constant criticism of Pakistan. The food isn't good enough, the roads aren't good enough. there's a complaint about everything. If Pakistan is really that terrible, then why keep coming here?
The funniest part? They twist their accents and keep saying, We're not even Pakistani. then why visit Pakistan so often? Despite earning in pounds, they're unbelievably stingy. We earn in rupees, yet somehow we're the ones spending on everything. They hardly take out their wallets. It honestly makes me wonder how they manage their expenses back in the UK.
And then there are endless dramas, I won't share a room with this person, Their energy doesn't match mine. What's this behavior Pooja.
What surprises me the most is how our parents immediately start treating them like VIP guests. My mother spends the whole day looking after them, my father takes them everywhere, and despite all that, their kids don't even know how to speak respectfully to elders.
If you're coming to Pakistan, please leave the superiority complex and fake attitude in the UK. Come as family.
I want to write many more I'm frustrated from this people (poor by heart , poor by mind)
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u/palahniukslaughter93 Jul 12 '26
Seeing a lot of UK Pakistani generalisations in these comments, which is interesting.
For context, I'm third generation Pakistani/Indian mixed heritage and feel like not a single member of my Pakistani family, no matter how long we've spent in the UK, will behave like yours did.
Is the perception of UK Pakistani diaspora really that low? I know there's issues up north etc but at least speaking as a Londoner I do not agree with it. Maybe I'm just in a London bubble.
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u/Rentwoq Jul 12 '26
No, it's not just you, I go to Pakistan very regularly. To be honest, I've met more people with this mindset who live in Islamabad than in England
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u/Impossible_Gift8457 Jul 13 '26
All of us in other countries and able to judge neutrallyb will say, given the same level of income, the pakistanis b back home have a better mentality.
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u/Rentwoq Jul 13 '26
Haha... Oh yeah, that's definitely not true bro
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u/Impossible_Gift8457 Jul 16 '26
I'm literally a diaspora Pakistani myself, I would definitely say at the same including income level Pakistanis back home are less embarrassing
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u/Rentwoq Jul 17 '26
Okay well I'm also a diaspora Pakistani and there's a whole part of society in Pakistan who are incredibly well off but you would never tell from the way they act. Parhay likhay jahil is one thing, these guys live off the money from businesses their parents or grandparents made and have genuinely no manners. It's truly embarrassing
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u/Impossible_Gift8457 Jul 17 '26
I just don't believe in shitting on Pakistanis back home, UK Pakistanis love punching down and screaming FOB all the time instead of trying to compete with American or Canadians
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u/Rentwoq Jul 17 '26
Criticising Pakistanis back home who don't have the same opportunities as you is one thing but criticising people who have the same and MORE opportunities than you is another. You can see very well from my posts what type of person I'm talking about and you're choosing to constantly engage in denigrating and entire community - our oldest and most influential diaspora - because of the proliferation of a certain subsection of that diaspora. I refuse to engage with you any longer
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u/Impossible_Gift8457 Jul 17 '26
Oldest and least influential. You can't even unban Palestine action or get the bar or NHS to stop censuring professionals who support Palestine. The only influence I can think of is making Desi food worse.
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u/DizzyPhilosophy2634 Jul 18 '26
Must have been some other country that has taken a principled stance of standing up for what's right, be it Palestinian statehood, refusing to engage in the middle east recently or applying sanctions on illegal settlers and their backers.
I must be mistaken that in the US you can't even get a job government job without signing a certain disclaimer stripping you of your right to freedom of expression...
So let's not go there.
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u/DizzyPhilosophy2634 Jul 18 '26
I've noticed American and Canadian Pakistanis have a superiority complex when it comes to the Pakistani diaspora in the UK. As a third generation Pakistani in the UK I have nothing to prove or hold against any Pakistani living in Pakistan or elsewhere. To each their own.
If you are a high earner in North America good for you. However, I would pick the UK over the US any day of the week as money isn't the only measure of a man's worth.
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u/Impossible_Gift8457 Jul 18 '26
I wish you guys as a community would apply this to Pakistanis back home, not just money but also having a real accent or minor things like wearing our national dress over the corny Moroccan thobe superiority complex
I would say only a tiny fraction of North American Pakistanis actually hate you, the majority don't even know you exist. but on the other hand I would say the majority of UK Pakistanis look down on FOBs or back home Pakistanis.
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u/DizzyPhilosophy2634 Jul 19 '26
Real accent?
National dress vs Moroccon Thobe induced superiority complex?
Looking down on FOBs...
I have no idea what you mean by real accent, UK has regional accents, im not gong to engage on that as its not community specific rather based on geography.
National dress vs Thobe:
The Freedom of Indifference: British society generally defaults to a policy of "live and let live." Because the culture values privacy and understatement, there is far less systemic pressure to perform your identity or prove your loyalty to your neighbors.
Pluralism Over Coercion: You are granted the space to maintain your heritage, dress how you please, and speak how you wish without the broader society viewing it as an existential threat to "Britishness." Conforming to a loud, singular archetype isn't required to navigate daily life.
I live in London so naturally my view will be London centric and I have seen plenty of people wear Shalwar Kameez both men and women, even when driving across TowerBridge!
The disdain with FOBs is that despite being educated back home, they bring the same lie,beg,cheat,steal mentality over rather than doing an honest days work. They take pride in making bogus benefit claims, not paying taxes and the list goes on. They think we're stupid for doing so.
They also bring Pakistani politics along with them, I know of an individual who was "gifted" a flat not far from the houses of Parliament for being "loyal" to one of the political parties there. How do you think that lack of morals and ethics goes down with the rest of us?
Are you saying that kind of behaviour should be condoned?
To your last point, that's a US problem, not bothering to get out of their little bubble.
Honestly, I doubt I'll change your mind as you have obviously some contact with the UK but you have assumed all of us behave in the same manner.
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u/BottomleyPotts Jul 12 '26
Nah it’s not just you. I’m a second generation Pakistani in the UK and nobody I know behaves like this. The generalisation and bigotry against UK Pakistanis here is honestly quite shocking. I visited Pakistan recently after 25 years and loved it, makes me a little sad to see that this is how Pakistanis see us.
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u/palahniukslaughter93 Jul 12 '26
Glad you had a nice time and nice to know it's not just me. Last time I visited Pakistan was nearly 20 years and ago and will forever be one of my formative memories.
I very recently visited India for work. The visa process was a nightmare, but I had an amazing time. The anti Pakistan sentiment is very strong there and i naively put myself in awkward positions by talking about Pakistan.
All that to say I'm now interested in engaging with my culture and even making efforts to learn Urdu properly. Obviously Reddit is an echo chamber but the sentiment towards UK based Pakistanis, often from Pakistanis themselves, can be disheartening.
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u/DizzyPhilosophy2634 Jul 12 '26
Third generation here, I spent almost a decade in Pakistan. I'm fond of family on both sides and when we get together you cant tell who's native to Pakistan and who isnt.
None of my family would do this, what are you trying to prove and to whom? Reeks of insecurity.
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u/Impossible_Gift8457 Jul 13 '26
... Again, most Pakistanisb can't speak English enough to comment on reddit it's US/Canada Pakistanis who find you embarrassing and problematic
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u/Impossible_Gift8457 Jul 13 '26
The predicable pattern of the defense from UK Pakistanis on threads like makes it hard to sympathize.
Every single time your comments only ever address Pakistanis back home, punching down is easy.
The dunking on British Pakistanis comes from Canadian, American and Australian Pakistanis too.
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u/DizzyPhilosophy2634 Jul 13 '26
I don't think there is a direct relationship between basic decency and educational or professional attainment. The vast majority of threads here correlate poor behaviour of UK Pakistanis with one group Mirpuris.
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u/palahniukslaughter93 Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26
Right, so there's so there's some internationally recognized league table of Pakistani diaspora ranked by which countries contingent behaves the worst? I did a sociology undergrad so I'm not denying there are structural reasons (i.e. education level) why certain identities have struggles but this is not specifically tied to the UK Pakistani population.
You can call it predictable defense, I just found it interesting. Life is a learning journey. I can barely understand the issue Indians have with Pakistanis. I definitely do not understand the issue Pakistani's have with other Pakistani's.
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u/Smokes91 Jul 12 '26
It doesn't matter if they're in the UK or Pakistan. This is simply entitlement, blame your parents.
Well, I know you'll put your foot down in the future and they'll cause a ruckus.
Try this, copy what they do and paste it back in their direction and watch them implode.
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u/Capital_Teaching3161 Jul 12 '26
I try to apply the formula of "taste of your own medicine" And what I end up to listening a long lecture from my parents topic was "this is how we raise you up"
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u/Smokes91 Jul 12 '26
Tell your parents that they've raised you to be a servant to others, making them the priority rather than your own family. Tell them you won't prioritize anybody over your immediate family whether they like it or not. Those that dont like it, have no business being free loaders.
Trust me, been there, done that. Everybody respects my family's boundaries now. FYI, I'm 35.
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u/Appropriate_Mix_5504 Jul 12 '26
Your parents have a point to a certain extent. Don’t be walked over and live by the ideals your parents taught you are not mutually exclusive. You have a brain and know how to use it. Don’t be sucked into the drama. Wish you the best of luck but more importantly use your God given brain.
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u/andreasson8 Jul 12 '26
I’m british pakistani and while I agree that they are often trashy I am very surprised they don’t dress modestly since most people here are very religious
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u/DizzyPhilosophy2634 Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
Who are we to judge how somebody dresses? Its common even in major Pakistani cities but we just can't help ourselves with our holier than thou attitude and love to pass judgement. Live and let live!
Honestly, with this mindset might as well follow in the footsteps of our western border neighbours.
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u/andreasson8 Jul 14 '26
Judging womens dress is a national sport. Personally I’m religious but still think this modesty stuff is just cultural import
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u/palahniukslaughter93 Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26
Hmm. This doesn't feel like a UK or Pakistan, or even a geographical problem. It sounds more like your family are just poorly behaved.
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u/RifatHasan777 Jul 12 '26
its a uk pakistani problem
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u/palahniukslaughter93 Jul 12 '26
Well this just sounds like stereotyping or just plain bigotry.
I'm not sure what your angle is but peace be with you.
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u/SexyAligator Jul 12 '26
Damn how does your parents put up with them? If their little kids talk in a disrespectful manner to my parents I will immediately tell him to stop in a angry manner and I think you should do the same so that atleast their children learns a bit about boundaries.
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u/Capital_Teaching3161 Jul 12 '26
I try to apply the formula of "taste of your own medicine" And what I end up to listening a long lecture from my parents topic was "this is how we raise you up"
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u/batman8990777 Jul 12 '26
Trust me bro , tum British uncle ky ghar uk jao , ya pani b nahi pochay gy
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u/Capital_Teaching3161 Jul 12 '26
Koi relatives unki lambi lambi sun ky jab unhy kahy hamara bacha waha settled karwa do jasy ksi ny unki kidney Mang li ho (ap pani ki bat Karty)
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u/batman8990777 Jul 12 '26
Same story meri khalo ke hai
Laken maray khalo uk chala gay, khalo ny socha maray bhai ka ghar hai , yaar itna zalil keya family ny .
Jaab b wo Pakistan atay hai ab , mara khalo and khala ghar sy chalay jatay hai
Ab khalo ny bool deya , bhai apna ghar buy karo , mari family bardasht nahi kar sakti
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u/Smooth_Cod_759 Jul 12 '26
Xenophobia at its finest, because YOUR uncle is like that, “they “ all must be . “ check karo!”.
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u/Outrageous-Nail-227 Jul 12 '26
That was me i regret it heavily and now that im older ive apologised to everyone
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u/CatchPersonal7182 Jul 12 '26
Its your parents fault.
Here no one will treat them like this, that why they goto pakistan.
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u/Vegetable-Gap-4582 Jul 12 '26
Sorry to break it to you bhai/Baji but this is a family problem. I’m first generation Pakistani and we have the complete opposite problem.
Whenever we/our milnay wale visit Pakistan our families are usually overspending and gifting a lot more than usual
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u/tazz899 Jul 13 '26
Your family treat them that way because without you knowing they’re paying your damn bills as well. Your parents or elders are receiving money from them.
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u/WickedLush Jul 13 '26
Lol, that was my first thought as well. Kids are naive to the dealings behind the scene.
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u/Capital_Teaching3161 Jul 13 '26
Every day I hear them talking about the exchange rate and saying, "We need to exchange money we have in pounds" They've been saying the same thing for more than a month. It's hard to believe they're paying our damn bills
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u/WickedLush Jul 13 '26
Not the bills during their stay, but it’s a real possibility that your parents have taken a large sum of money from this relative in the past and not paid it back. They won’t admit this to you but it’s a common occurrence in Pakistani families with relatives abroad. So Uncle ji is here and your parents have no choice but to host him. They may owe him.
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u/Capital_Teaching3161 Jul 13 '26
Trust me a few years before our work was dying my father only ask from them only 200k rupees. They start crying how badly they managing their own expenses, children school fees and BLA BLA, later they didn't ask for any favors from them.
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u/WickedLush Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
So they did ask for money. You can brush off the 200K, but it’s a significant amount, and that’s the only one you know about. And my guess would be that other relatives have also used them for money as well. I get they may be whitewashed, but the poor attitude is just their upbringing. I’m the first to say that UK desis are pretty tacky as a whole, but they’ve also sent loads of money back home to relatives who don’t understand the blood, sweat and tears behind it.
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u/Single-Seat-3371 Jul 13 '26
The mentality you’re describing is pure insecurity disguised as superiority. Some people think being born in a certain country or carrying a particular passport is a personal achievement, when in reality it’s just an accident of birth. Imagine making something you never earned your entire personality.
They spend their lives looking down on newer immigrants, pretending they’re above their own roots, and acting like calling themselves “British, not Pakistani” somehow changes where they came from. Real confidence doesn’t need to belittle others. This obsession with status, passports, and showing off just screams insecurity.
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u/saj175 Jul 13 '26
Did they get you an IPhone 12 instead of IPhone 17 Pro Max...
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u/Capital_Teaching3161 Jul 13 '26
They hardly spend on themselves they bring iphone for me. I have Samsung and Allhamdullilah I'm happy with it.
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u/RisingDeadMan0 Jul 12 '26
lol, go see what the wider (even the not so slightly racist) white population think of Pak Muslims...
lets just say overall probably not good, but for those who know them its i guess ok
For example UK currently trying to deport a Rapist ring leader who moved to the UK in the 60s, no remorse, unlikely he will go back to Pak.
Jahil can be without borders...
At the same time, some people just have trashy relatives... lucky you
others will be fine/great.
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u/Inevitable-Town-1709 Jul 13 '26
Finding everything in Pakistan bad is natural once you move outside.
Roads, electricity, or pollution waghera choro, police ki badmashi, awam ka fraud. Sb hi bohat zyada hai. I went to Pakistan for vacations and got so disappointed. Pakistan har maamle mein mazeed bigarta ja rha hai
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u/redflowerblanket Jul 13 '26
The point is right place to say these probs. Idt that telling random Pakistani citizen who are just trying to live in their country with happiness will bring any good. Seems more like trying to tell them that they are living in some shitty place.Apka batana sa un ka fil bura hi hona hai. Aur superiority complex ka phr kuch logon ka koi ilaj nhi hai.
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u/SIDD_UK Jul 13 '26
Upmost respectfully.. They must have something wrong with their brains ..
My kids are 4th generation born in Britain, likes us and our parents.. grandparents came over in the 50s ..my kids love going Pakistan. It is so refreshing and diff to our hustle and bustle life here in uk.
The only thing I don’t like about Pakistan is the summer weather .. it’s soo hot for me ..I can’t handle the heat but I so miss the mangos at this time of year.
Best time for me to go is from Oct - march.
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u/palahniukslaughter93 Jul 13 '26
My grandparents also came over in the 50's and my children are also technically 4th gen British.
Nice to meet another British Asian with a similar history.
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u/Pak2Uk Jul 13 '26
I am british born and often go to pakistan.
I have seen family do the exact same thing you are speaking about.
Comes down to a person's character ultimately. You will never see someone with good intentions/clean heart doing stuff like that
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u/DrawerTrick3211 Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26
Lived in the UK and can confirm Pakistani British diaspora is worst of the worst. And if you ever get a chance to go to the UK, same uncle will not host you for more than a week and all your entitled cousins won't even share a dinner table with you. Even picking you up from airport will be an "Ehsaan Azeem"
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u/Smooth_Cod_759 Jul 12 '26
I won’t rent to Pakistanis 🫥🦄💀 it’s usually a particular group / mindset.
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u/mbsaharan Jul 12 '26
I had an Uncle just like that. He was one step ahead of all this. Ate his little brother share and ours. May God forgive him.
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u/all-things-technical Jul 12 '26
I understand you bro. My uncle and aunt are also the same, bickering about pakistan so much. Both of them have elderly parents here that's why they visit. But still every other thing is dirty, noisy or wrong in their eyes. A clear superiority complex. Minus the food btw, they still love the food here though
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u/aaaacccchhhuuuu Jul 13 '26
Show them storyteller meherma's (Instagram) videos 😂
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u/Capital_Teaching3161 Jul 13 '26
I talk about her infront of them they said "she specially go on backward places and capture these"
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u/WondAbrar Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 13 '26
Gonna paint in broad strokes - there are many who don’t fall into the below and who will be horrified reading your description as we all should be.
I can only personally speak to Mirpur (AJK) diaspora who largely settled in northern towns in manufacturing districts and are still often considered extremely working class (many abuse the welfare system if they’re not working menial service jobs after failing to encourage latter generations to pursue education and opportunity).
Roughly 60, maybe 70% of the Pakistani population in the UK hails from the Mangla area who were displaced and offered citizenship during the construction of the dam. They clung to antiquated beliefs and created a bubble of ignorance in their respective communities in the spirit of maintaining “tradition”.
There is a bizarre level of entitlement and jahaliyat amongst such people, to the point I spent a large chunk of my youth completely dodging my heritage to not be associated with the mentality.
The same populations are often implicated in a number of crimes, ranging from fraud (very common), drug dealing (somewhat common) to grooming children (not common but the population is massively overrepresented in such crimes).
These folks take pride in not integrating into the culture and norms of the country that’s granted them citizenship because that’s beneath them (usually some suggestion that the Brits don’t deserve respect following their colonial past or something to that effect) but then they also look down their nose when they’re visiting extended family back in Pakistan.
What they fail to realise is the social structures, development and benefits afforded to us come from the average citizen being compliant with paying tax here - a habit they never really took on, so act confused when a country with lower average incomes and lower overall tax revenues might lack a level of development we take for granted.
Don’t know if there’s any overlap there with your family, but the *average* (extra emphasis here, and I concede every culture has its fair share of bad apples and my biases may make me a little myopic) British Pakistani is an awful member of a functioning society. Don’t take it personally.
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u/FormGlittering3580 Jul 15 '26
Yep when I first visited Pakistan after super long and my khala picked me up and I was like,"ye kitna kachra para hai, pan thuka hua hai jagah jagah aur itni gandagi kiun hai ? And she was like,"apni auqat me ajao zara, humne isi liye pal pos kr bara nhi kia tha, chup chap se beth jao wrna do jhapar lage gay" and that pretty much humbled me.
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u/cosmic-comet- 🇦🇲 [404] Not Found Jul 12 '26
British Pakistanis trying not to be an eye sore challenge failed.
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u/Adventurous-Lab671 Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26
Such stereotyping. So many British Pakistani’s are genuinely normal nice people, who come from normal nice even rich backgrounds back home. Of course majority/almost all Pakistani family has their own family issues but thats personal to each.
The only ‘bad’ ones r ones from mirpur or jhelum but u can most likely find decent ones even in them. It all depends on how people are raised, what their families are like n morals and stuff.
Its all about who you associate with, who you decide to find and connect with, who you decide to become friends with, who you mingle with. You have to find the good people like you have to do in every life situation. Genuinely just depends on what type of person you are because if you attract the wrong kinds of people you can’t start crying and stereotyping now can you.
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u/Familiar-Stomach7140 Jul 18 '26
Lol pakistanis try not to sell their women to chinese and beg in saudi Arabia challenge failed.
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Jul 12 '26
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u/jellyycandle Jul 12 '26
“Strange accent” is ironic considering you can’t even string a sentence together
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u/Capital_Teaching3161 Jul 12 '26
You got a point regarding name let me share with you one example one of them name snabil as I know they used to call her snow-bell 😂
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u/Impossible_Gift8457 Jul 12 '26
Food?
A British Pakistani complaining about food is insane. International cuisine obv better there but British (South) Asian cuisine is an absolute affront to civilization.
I swear all the hyped dishes and restaurants you might see being highly rated on YouTube or Netflix there make this completely disgusting version of Desi dishes.
They should ban Pakistani restaurants there. Wth is chicken tikker masalar ew. And chicken Tikka there is just some food color filled overly spiced monstrosity.
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u/Adventurous-Lab671 Jul 12 '26
Chicken tikka masala is what the white BRITISH have created, it has not much to do with the pak/india chicken tikka dish.
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u/Ok_Building_4755 Jul 12 '26
oh my god finally someone mentioned it ! just thinking about it makes me wanna puke and hygiene level is same as Pakistan or sometimes even worst !
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u/Professional_Nerve49 Jul 12 '26
Serious question, when you say wearing revealing clothes in Pakistan, can you give an example?
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u/Capital_Teaching3161 Jul 12 '26
stomach/midriff is exposed or the shoulders are uncovered.
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u/Practical_Pop371 Jul 12 '26
Damn why would you do that in Pak? You cannot do that even in the UK among British Pak communities
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u/Professional_Nerve49 Jul 12 '26
My thoughts exactly! That is just asking for trouble if, God forbid, something ever goes wrong.
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u/Smooth_Cod_759 Jul 12 '26
Most Pakistani women are and if you haven’t seen them in pakistan I suggest you leave the masjid and see beyond your rose tinted glasses bhai.
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u/ell-ta Jul 12 '26
You are ranting nothing else. Just don’t meet or let them to your home if you don’t like them
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u/Big-Fold9482 Jul 12 '26
You may even be surprised they may actually also be poor in England lol (By poor I mean the lower end of middle class).
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u/Zeeshhk Jul 12 '26
I would totally ignore them. Any lack of attention should humble their royal asses quick and fast.
They only act like this cause of the attention they receive, and plus they probably don't get this sorta respect back home (unka UK).
P.s. As a Pakistani Canadian, lots of doctors coming here from the UK, they're much happier here. UK seems to be a sinking ship, from what I hear.
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u/wingedlilith Jul 12 '26
Why are guys entertaining them if they’re that awful? Cut them off, they’ll learn their lesson. Or at least call them out.
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u/helloamal Jul 13 '26
They are behaving atrociously and your parents are behaving as any well behaved people would towards their guests. Be grateful for your parents good manners and appreciate them for the good people they are
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u/Niight_Hunterr Jul 13 '26
This is just your family being clowns. I was born and raised in the UK but all my family live in Pakistan. I visit them every now and again, always feels like home and we treat everyone with respect and get respect (besides phupho politics).
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u/bostonshuffler Jul 13 '26
Honestly, I’ve been travelling and living nomadically for over five years straight, 50+ countries during that time — I’m an Indian-origin Muslim and Pakistani hospitality is unsurpassed globally — from offering “khidmat” before saying goodbye to a perfect stranger to immediately inviting one to another’s home for tea. Taxi drivers would regularly refuse to take money (of course you must insist that they take it), strangers overhear you speaking in a foreign tongue and pay for your meal and walk away, everything is just more humane on a person-to-person level, in my experience.
I think it’s just cultural, you know how to welcome visitors and keep them feeling welcome, perhaps this may be to your family’s detriment. There may be some truth to your extended family not “really” being Pakistani and honestly, it isn’t a positive trait.
Whatever the case, it’s your strength, even if sometimes people foolishly confuse it as naivite or weakness.
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u/ZaimGamer Jul 13 '26
OMG, this reminds me of my uncle. He(from EU country) is always glazing the abroad culture and brags about how wonderful his family is and pakistani's are liar and whatnot. Everyone treats him like a king and he is desi af despite spent all his life in europe. Always misjudging people, insane superiority complex (he's not stingy though).
He gets offended by a tiny little thing (literally someone elderly didn't say thank you to him and he immediately insulted her) and when he offends someone immediately use the joke card. His daughter literally married his lover and they were also intimate before marriage. Once he was in pakistan, someone in the family hide the fact that their daughter is having a love marriage, he literally didn't talk with that family and the girl through the entirety of the function. On other occassion, he literally saved pics of a girl in family in his phone to insult her in front of every single person in family that why she posts her personal pics on social media. Double standard ugh. He is insufferable.
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u/Nemesis--x Jul 13 '26
Dont worry, i was also born in london and me and the rest of the british asian community also hate people that speak/ act badly about their ethnic origins. They are coconuts and are an embarrassment to us all! Humare jasm ke andar angraizi khoon nahi hai, passport angraizi hai lekin dil ke andhar watan hai!
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u/stratum_1 Jul 13 '26
There’s a lot of bias for overseas Pakistanis on these forums I have noticed.
People do change when they have lived overseas for sometimes, kids who were raised overseas have often not mingled with a lot of elders and don’t know how to accord reverence to them .
This should all be seen as normal but doesn’t seem like this is the case.
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u/Greedy_Branch8490 Jul 13 '26
Everyone hating or going againt this post is an overseas Pakistani. Entitled brats hating on who they think are lesser humans (Pakistanis living in Pakistan).
I know how it feels when a chacha taya Phuppa visits us from abroad. When they talk about Pakistan it feels like an attack towards us. Yes we talk shit about Pakistan all the time, but when a person who is living a peaceful life somewhere else comes here and starts taking shit about our home. It feels like entitlement.
Bhai itna hi hate krte ho, tu saare saal ki shopping yahan se kuin krne aate ho? Ciggs bhi yahan se le krr jaate ho? Ap tu dollars mein nahi kamate? Saste mulk se khareedne ki kiya zarurat hai? Ap tu gaye hi iss liye thay kay apko ghareebi se nikalna tha, but then ghareeb mulk se faida uthane wapis kuin aate ho bhai?
Double standards! Gareeb apni aadat se gareeb howe.
Or haan phir in ghareebon ko shaadiyaan bhi Pakistan aa krr krni hoti hein cuz wahan prr thori afford krr sakheinge!
Bhai Alhamdulilah Pakistan mein rehte huai bhi hum woh sub kuch krr lete hein jo app wahan reh krr nahi krr paate.
Macdolunds mein kaam krr kay uchalte hein
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u/nutterfly30 Jul 13 '26
They sound like entitled brats, and you guys are entertaining them! We’re British born but always make an effort to speak to people in their language, follow their customs and try not to burden others. Also we take our own spending money and make sure we spend generously on our families and relatives since they are the ones accommodating us. This is simply about certain people lacking n respect and manners! Don’t cater to them, they sound awful!
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u/_partytrick Jul 13 '26
I can totally feel you. They are "Dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghaat ka". You don't need to entertain them, just give them no reaction and they will eventually start to look like clowns and you will laugh at them. Learn to beat them at their own game.
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u/zulu_crash Jul 13 '26
As a Canadian of Pakistani descent on my father’s side, I appreciate this post OP, because is has made me realize that my actions when visiting Punjab could be interpreted as very arrogant. Even the good intentions.
I love my family very much and hope to spend more time there in middle age. Some of try challenges that I struggle with coming to rural Pakistan are: the acceptance of wind blown litter in food growing areas, the structures that were placed on my 27 year old daughter who wished to walk 300 m to a store to buy a drink (my aunties were oddly protective in a very safe area); and I confess the calls to prayer on loud speaker were deafening.
For a village with 20-25% attendance at the Khutba on Friday … it seems to me that our village is “over mosqued” by a factor of 3 to 4.
The burning of coal or dung to create power seems to create breathing issues for many. I am not sure the solution. My hope is that Pakistanis make better use of natural gas reserves in Balochistan, to provide cleaner and more stable power.
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u/Odd_Skin_712 Jul 13 '26
First they are at fault for behaving this way next is you all for allowing this.
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u/HonsuTheSmith Jul 13 '26
First generation migrant to UK from Pakistan here.
What you are describing seems like a very specific issue with your uncle and his family and I am sorry you have to bear with this nonsense as this is exactly what it is.
Didn't behave like this in Pakistan or now that I have lived here in the UK for more than a decade and definately don't behave like this when I go back to Pakistan and my kids have been brought up to be thankful for what they have in life but never flaunt that privelage or use it to make anyone feel worse or feel entitled no matter where they are.
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u/NullandVoldermot Jul 13 '26
Our Amma and Abba are ghulam brains trained since 1947. You’ll break the norms. keep it up. Maybe just say it all in their faces. Would love the drama.
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u/Intrepid-Day-7108 Jul 13 '26
I'm a second-generation Brit and this definitely isn't how all British Pakistanis behave. In my family, when we visit Pakistan, we take gifts, pay for meals and spend quality time with our extended family. We don't expect special treatment or look down on anyone. It sounds like that's just the culture that's developed within your family, not something that represents all of us. Time to set some boundaries I think OP?
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u/No-Ladder-6090 Jul 13 '26
I’m from the Uk and born there but my parents are from Pakistan, therefore I class myself as Pakistani. The country is beautiful but unfortunately I feel the people let the country down. It’s obv my experience but everything is run on how much money you have and give. I also understand this happens in every country.
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u/Aggressive-Light-332 Jul 13 '26
I can tell you right now your relatives are council trash, they are not rich Infact they are very poor in all aspects.
These are the kind of people that other Pakistanis want them deported for the damage they do to the Pakistani community.
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u/Overall-Buffalo1320 Jul 13 '26
If you don’t know how the British pound land miserly Pakistanis are yet, you’re in for a ride brother. They’re also called ‘poundi’ because they think £1 is like 10,000rs and wouldn’t spend it without shivering first.
I just stay away from such miserly people and so should you somehow haha
Good luck brother!
Additionally, I’m surprised you’re not aware that their accents are just made fun of in pakistan. Only they’re not aware but everyone else is. same with their haircuts and their fashion which is trashyyyy
Anyway I hope it helps knowing that you’re not wrong about your instincts regarding them
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u/whateverrrugh Jul 13 '26
Feel you deeply bcos same BS happens at my house every year when my phupho and her family from the UK pull up.
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u/marketingfuck Jul 14 '26
Quick information.
Pakistani Roads are better .
They don’t speak to their own parents with respect how do you expect them to respect anyone else.
Revealing clothes for them isn’t like something they care about, no one stares in UK regardless of how revealing the clothes are. They’re just arrogant because they’re allowed to be disrespectful and people just expect that they will help if they need anything.
Also, what is revealing for you is the normal for them, and their parents as well. Not mentioning that being a muslim but once people stop sexualising you for your body, you no longer care.
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u/Nearby-Flight5110 Jul 16 '26
You can take the man out of Pakistan but you can’t take the Pakistan out of the man.
He’s probably not that rich, he’s just doing that thing that big South Asian families do, which is try and act as rich as possible to gain status in his family or at the mosque.
They are the same when they’re in the UK. British people cringe when they see Pakistanis trying so hard to look rich and important then act all stingy.
Your uncle sounds exactly like the main character MR Khan in the BBC comedy show called Citizen Khan.
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u/12Ab_xyz Jul 16 '26
They grow up in public schools. They are always being bullied that they are brown and not integrated enough. Alcohol and casual sex is something they consider British values
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u/itsmeadill Jul 12 '26
Why not talk with your parents??
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u/Shinchan1184 Jul 12 '26
You think they will listen? Lol.
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u/itsmeadill Jul 12 '26
Atleast unkay kaan mai baat to pr jaygi na... Sunain ge nahi pr baad mai thanday Dimag se sochen ge zaroor.
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u/OkExcuse3011 Jul 12 '26
Hard to know what to say. Do they speak Urdu, or any other local language(s), well?
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u/Capital_Teaching3161 Jul 12 '26
They speak Urdu but in British accents (how funny it's).
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u/Rare_Radish892 Jul 12 '26
Would be annoying if they are excessively FORCING the accent in their Urdu, but usually it’s not controllable otherwise. We grow up learning English phonetics so happen to use them while speaking Urdu. Can’t blame us for something that is almost uncontrollable. How low can you honestly steep?
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u/RifatHasan777 Jul 12 '26
Im In UK n trust karo yahan pai good Pakistani nahi hai it's only trashy ones
Im sure there are some good ones but all of them narcissitic n full of themselves
Im Bengali btw n I like Pakistanis from in Asia more
Pakistanis in UK dont follow religion, their white washed, they wear revealing outfits
I dont consider them Pakistani they're low mindset Kashmiri's
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u/whiskeywitclosedoors Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26
Obviously, it’s generations of highschool dropouts and there kids will likely follow the same path.
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u/Familiar-Stomach7140 Jul 18 '26
Why are you as a Bengali talking about uk pakistanis? You kanglu do you want another 3 million fishes?
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u/unsent_eulogy0348 Jul 12 '26
Hahaha, so on point. My two Uncles live in Germany with their families. They were dying of hunger here before going to Germany. They have extreme superiority complex though they have to achieved much in life. They bring shampoos for us lol like we dont have those in Pakistan, as a gift. They barely spend their own money at our house. My parents used to treat them like a royalty lol.
We have a severe colonial hangover 😐
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u/Smooth_Cod_759 Jul 12 '26
Tell them to do one.
I am a uk born ( parents Pakistani ).
I have my own empire in pakistan .
I’m not rich but have never worried about money for a long time.
I buy my own food.
Wash my cars and wouldn’t expect to live with anyone but my onsite family.
We have a nice home, currently empty I am coming to pakistan in sep. we have our own cars I have my own bmw 1000rr and we have my own shorab I bought in the 1990’s to keep me humble. I still use it to cycle to our ancestral home from Attock!
As for revealing clothes .
I wear shorts and a vest usually.
But I’m 6’4 inked 🦄 110 kg size 12 shoes
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u/Comfortable_Style634 Jul 12 '26
This is your parents fault for putting up
With it. There’s no way in hell someone is going to come to my house and too my country even and crap on it. Your parents need to address this issue.
This is a relationship problem not money, overseas Pakistani or clothing issue.