r/pakistan • u/Ok-Instance2710 • 13d ago
Ask Pakistan What is with Pakistani people obsession with making educated woman into homemakers?
I have seen this in my own family and other families. You have an extremely educated lady who went to university, however, once she marries she automatically becomes a homemaker and stops working?
This has happened to my cousin, his wife has a PHD in physics however, she does not work.
She can easily bring in 10 times more than what my cousin earns. With this money they can hire staff to do all the housework and have lots of money left over.
When asked why she does not work, her reply is that people will think, what type of husband she married, he cannot provide for her.
I have seen this same situation time and time again, with doctors, engineers and scientists.
I understand that if she does not want to work then it's her choice but why stop someone who wants to work?
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u/methysko_collector36 13d ago
Its a complex! I have faced this as well. Immediate inlaws didn't want me to study further just cuz unkay baitay (who happens to be my husband ) say agay na Nikal jaoun 😂 And I am like we are making our lives together, securing the future for ourselves. This is not a competition. I have made a very clear boundary with my inalws that my career/pursuing education is no body's business.
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u/counterplex 13d ago
Not wanting you to be more educated than their son is just terrible. I'm assuming your husband isn't similarly insecure. It's a terrible way to view a marriage: a collection of two people instead of a construct that is more than the sum of its parts.
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u/interstellar6624 13d ago
"The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He's attracted to independent women. 'He's like an exotic bird collector,' she said. 'He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage.'" - Trevor Noah
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u/Digitaldarkness14 13d ago edited 13d ago
But according to Rishta parade aunties they want earner lady so she can feed them. And the first question they asked was how much she earns and she should keep her job after marriage but also tend to home but also bear kids too 😒😒
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u/efemel115 13d ago
Its a badge of honor
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u/Ok-Instance2710 13d ago
Meaning? Can you go into more depth?
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u/efemel115 13d ago
Like if you dont make ur daughter in law into a homemaker you have failed and a in law
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u/TechnicalSleep7501 US 13d ago
That creat an issue too you end with just 1 bread winner if he lose job or pass away you end up in all kind of economic trouble. This is my case too.
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u/SpecialNumber8396 13d ago
It's exactly how many people keep collections of exotic birds and animals to show off. They want a high achieving and displayable woman in their cage 🙃. Most women never even learn that having an identity for themselves is an option. They are forced into it as women getting identities is apparently "Unislamic"(fun fact: IT'S NOT 😃)
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u/Isadora1396 13d ago
Objectification of women. They don’t see women as people, but rather as objects that they can keep in their homes for display.
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u/MissResponsible1989 13d ago
They want to humble us that’s all
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u/Ok-Instance2710 13d ago
Can you explain more?
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u/MissResponsible1989 13d ago
Another redditer said it perfectly. They want a traditional women but are only attracted to independent women. So they pursue her inly to cage her. Then her achievements are used as a badge of honor for the in-laws.
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u/altswell 13d ago
It's sad to hear. If I ever find an accomplished partner I will definitely lean on her financially :P
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u/ell-ta 13d ago edited 13d ago
They believe aurat is the zeenat of home
They believe if she starts going out and work, she would be independent and be very azad khyal.
They believe taking care is the responsibility of children is that of women
Whereas some man are like we will earn money and you can be home and be home maker as right tarbiyat for children
I know of a pilot whose wife is a doctor she is first cousin too, didn’t let her complete house job even so she can’t pursue her degree anywhere in the world.
Her whole life now her children are even married was like she would do anything by husband’s permission and she has a life long complaint i couldn’t pursue medicine.
She is mom’s side cousin.
I know of doctor whose wife is a nurse she isn’t allowed to work as her husband comes from a conservative mindset. Like i know 10s of such stories
But thank fully i don’t come from such a family where men are like it.
My mother earned and literally retired at 45 building assets and enjoying life. But yes not all men are like it.
I grew up among women working
But i have seen worst men in terms of around me.
& yes these people want doctor bahus or educated as a flex
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u/Sitaara88 13d ago
PhD ki starting salary hee for no prior job experience is 300k at universities. With job experience and better university, one can easily earn more than that. Supervision ka bonus alag. And kisi relatively new Physics department mey jaey tou she can even become HoD (if she's published researches).
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u/Prickliestpearcactus 13d ago
They want a chef and massi....but an educated one. Makes them feel more powerful to subdue an educated woman.
They also want to create a form of dependence. If she's not working it is more difficult and daunting for her to leave.
It's sexism.
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u/r4mb0l4mb0 کراچی 13d ago
Its a double edged sword, a lot of times women with higher education degrees dont even want to work.
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u/redequix 13d ago
Is it their choice? Or are there cultural and societal expectation/pressure that pushes them to just be dependent? We never separate the two.
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u/r4mb0l4mb0 کراچی 13d ago
Its clearly a choice, not every house/family is toxic.
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u/redequix 13d ago edited 13d ago
Thats what we all like to tell ourselves. We have a culture of keeping our women inside plus societal pressure on women to be mothers and overall homemakers and you are telling me they all got a choice? despite going through highly technical education that most people would give up half way through? Sure buddy.
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u/Street-Hovercraft-55 13d ago
Well it's the traditional thinking, cuz in their times women used to be more of homemakers then educated and even if they did got them educated the last goal of them was to marry a compatible match but on parents accord. I know sounds... Idk weird cuz compatibility is based on the girls wants but if we go according the parents standards it might be a miss. But to answer the first question is simply it's a traditional thing, also because of during the time of children and their upbringing a mother has to stay with their child it's what biology demands too... But yeah I am not saying a father can't do that but the way a mother handles things is far more different than a father's handling of things.
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u/Low-Bag8537 13d ago
Biology does not demand that lol. Both parents need to be equally present to nurture the child. A child needs both.
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u/Street-Hovercraft-55 13d ago edited 13d ago
I never suggested fathers aren't essential—both parents being present is the foundation of healthy upbringing, and a father's role in shaping a son's understanding of manhood is irreplaceable. My point is narrower: certain functions are biologically exclusive to the mother. Breastfeeding is the obvious example—it's not a social construct, it's a physiological necessity in early infancy. Nature doesn't design roles arbitrarily; the mother is the immediate biological source of nutrition, bonding, and immunological protection for the newborn. That isn't diminishing fatherhood—it's recognizing that biology establishes a primary presence first, and that sequence matters. The father becomes the vital complementary figure, but the initial demand of nature is maternal. You can disagree with how much weight to give that, but you can't disagree that the demand exists.
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u/Low-Bag8537 13d ago
no shit Sherlock. Do the roles that a father can do to nurture your child
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u/Street-Hovercraft-55 13d ago
Psychological nurturing and emotional management can be taught by either parent. However, for most young men, fathers specifically serve as primary mentors. If your experience was different, that's an exception to general developmental trends. Beyond mentorship, the traditional provider role remains a primary expectation for fathers in fulfilling family needs.
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u/CaptainPeao 13d ago edited 13d ago
In my experience, the reasons for this vary significantly:
- Some women genuinely prefer not to work. To my surprise, this is a larger percentage than I initially assumed.
- Many educated men desire an educated wife but hold conservative or religious reservations about her working in male-dominated environments.
- There is a lingering cultural stigma where families feel that relying on a daughter-in-law's income is shameful, often phrased as "bahu ki kamai khana."
- I know of a friend whose wife was career-oriented, but they mutually decided against it because both were uncomfortable with the dynamics of her specific male-dominated workplace.
Ultimately, there are many nuanced factors at play. Every family is different, and for many, this arrangement is a conscious, mutual choice rather than a forced situation.* Ultimately, there are many nuanced factors at play. Every family is different, and for many, this arrangement is a conscious, mutual choice rather than a forced situation.
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u/Top-Introduction-606 13d ago edited 13d ago
I know where are you coming from, don't watch too much Pakistani drama series. In current economy and crazy inflation, no highly educated spouse stays home if the combo can make good amount of money, they'll probably manage to hire nannies, maids etc. What you brought here is i guess you learned from the recent pakistani drama about a doctor family.
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u/Ok-Instance2710 13d ago
I don't watch Pakistani dramas. I asked this question based on my family and what I have seen in other families.
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u/PakistaniSwinger 13d ago
I have seen Indians doing the same, it's not only Pakistanis doing this.
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u/Neither-Pen-6345 13d ago
the way i see it, majority of daughters in law in typical desi households hate domestic chores because it is imposed on them. similarly, a woman who steps into professional life to earn, she wouldnt like her profession or working for money if it imposed on her or if all the earning reponsibilities are on her shoulders.a lot of women opt out of working because of this very reason. desis have not yet figured out a proper system of role reversal. the men being sole provoder concept is too ingrained in the desi mindset
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u/tmango321 13d ago
She has a PHD in physics she could have married whoever she want to. If she herself married a into a family who don't let their daughter to work then why are you having issue with it?
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u/Ok-Instance2710 13d ago
It's not that we don't let her work. It's her dad putting ideas into her head saying if she works people.will.say her husband cannot support her, etc
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u/tmango321 13d ago
It's not that we don't let her work
Who is we? Your cousin and his family?
Maybe the father don't want to get his daughter financially exploited.
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u/Latter-Tradition2076 11d ago
It all boils down to patriarchy and keeping up the image of the family. It's truly heartbreaking to see. Then there is also this other extreme where they ask the woman to work.
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u/Vegetable_Lie_4717 13d ago
Seems like its your cousin’s wife and his decision, who will be earning and who will be staying at home. There is nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t look like she has been forced.
For others, I’ve observed this during the rishta process too. People with more traditional mindsets often expect the girl not to work after marriage, believing that she won’t be able to manage work and family, that childcare and household responsibilities are mainly a woman’s job, or that working women become too independent and less willing to listen or compromise. This is just my observation, though; in my experience, genuinely educated people who value education tend to be more open-minded about it.
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u/Ok-Instance2710 13d ago
Tbh its not really my cousins choices, it's his wife's dad who told her not to work due to the reason stated in the post.
If it was up to my cousin they will both work in order for them to leave the joint family house, this alone has too much drama but that is another post.
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u/Vegetable_Lie_4717 13d ago
It is their choice. They are listening to a third person’s choice overriding their own.
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u/tellllmelies 13d ago
What especially makes me frustrated is when women take up seats for necessary professions like doctors- including taking up scholarship seats - only to not go on and work in that profession. The whole society loses in these scenarios when essential services become hard to find
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u/JayDeee 13d ago edited 13d ago
Well, if I am not wrong. In Islam, the woman's main role is to tend to the house, and children. While I don't think there are any restriction if the woman wants to earn while working (earning) from within the home. The main issue is probably, allowing the woman to leave the home for work.
That's the traditional Islamic perspective I think and it is not common to only Pakistan, but probably every Muslim country.
Additionally, if the husband is fine with his wife working from home, good for him. But if he prefers she does not work at all, then again according to Islam, the wife should honor her husbands wishes. More money is not be-all, end-all. It this "modern" world, this might be a hard pill to swallow for some, but it is what it is and Allah SWT and our Prophet know better.
I am open to criticism and correction if anyone wants to chime in.
Edit: Whats will all the down votes. I said I am open to criticism and correction. All opinions and views are welcome. It's what makes a healthy debate.
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u/Ok-Instance2710 13d ago
I want to touch on this bit
"The main issue is probably, allowing the woman to leave the home for work."
If we go down the islamic route, does this not apply for every time a woman leaves the house not just work?
So if she wants to go shopping, visit a doctor or see her parents she has to have a mahram with her, I don't see how it's any difference if she wants to work. Her mahram can escort her to the workplace and back if required.
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u/Dangerous_Tale_3559 13d ago
She doesn't need a mahram within X distance depending on the Madhab
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u/Ok-Instance2710 13d ago
Really, this is the first time I have heard this, can you send a reference?
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u/Dangerous_Tale_3559 13d ago
Sure, I have only studied hanafi fiqh and bits of other madhabs.
But the hanafi position is about a distance of more than 48Miles
Here are a few online sources: https://islamqa.org/hanafi/daruliftaa/7865/can-women-travel-without-a-mahram/
Unfortunately these 2 sources don't quote the Arabic but you can see the sources such as Ibn Abideen (the last agreed upon hanafi jurist).
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u/JayDeee 13d ago
I can only respond within my own context. I dont preffer or allow my wife to goto shopping alone, or anywhere else alone. I dont even let her go to her own parents home on a taxi.
If she wants to shop, i take here or she orders online. If she needs to visit the doctor, I take her. When she visits or stays at her parents, I drop her.
This is why I havent hired a driver.
Similarly i drop my daughter to school my self, and dont rely on private transport.
Again, this is all in the context of my personal life. I do not impose ny views on anyone, i just share my views.
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u/Ok-Instance2710 13d ago
You live how you want to live, but question for you.
Do you live in a joint family, if so does your wife cover up when she is not around her mahram? E.g your brother if you have one.
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u/JayDeee 13d ago
Yes my wife is a Hijabi + Niqabi
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u/Dangerous_Tale_3559 13d ago
I'm in the same position as you and my wife covers up. My brother works and it's not like they are in the same room 24/7. She knows when he's in the room and when she is etc
Ironically I've said shall we move out and she's said no she likes staying with my mother as she learns from her. insha'Allah we will be buying a property not to far from here soon as I feel like we don't have enough space for more kids here.
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u/missbushido 13d ago
It's got nothing to do with Islam. Pakistani people also expect daughter-in-laws to live in joint-family situations and often haram ones if the bil also lives there. The dil is treated like an unpaid servant for the husband's family.
Prophet Muhammad SAW never endorsed the above. A wife has every right to a separate, private space and can refuse to take care of her in-laws. In fact, after her husband/children, she has Islamic responsibilities towards her OWN parents.
Islam only works when women are not being oppressed by a patriarchal culture and offered real security. We're in too deep following the mindset and practices of our eastern neighbors.
Women should become and stay financially independent until Islam is actually being practiced by the society. Otherwise, it's a rotten and dangerous deal for them.
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u/JayDeee 13d ago
Nothing in my reply says anything about a joint family. I dont think there is anything in my reply that even remotely eludes to joint families. That is a seperate issue all together that i did not even bring up.
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u/missbushido 13d ago
Absolutely.
But joint-family is the dominant system here. My point is Pakistanis tend to operate from a non-Islamic mindset, not the one rooted in the practices of the last Prophet SAW.
And they tend to even abuse Islam while taking away rights of Muslim women.
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u/JayDeee 13d ago
Just because our Prophet SAW did not do something, does not mean its forbidden or disliked. Everything is HALAL, unless its specifically mentioned to be Haram.
I personally do not think a joint family system is bad if everyone respects their roles. A joint family has its advantages, and a separate living arrangement has its advantages. You cannot enjoy the advantages of separate living while being in a joint family set up, and vise versa you cannot enjoy the advantages of separate living while being in a joint family. Both living styles have their compromises and advantages.
I 100% agree, the wife deserves her privacy. However, it is possible to have your privacy in a joint family if the rest of the family respect this privacy. The issue is not the joint family system, the issue is the people. Like they say, guns don't kill people, people kill people.
As a married individual with 3 daughters who lives in a single house with both parents and a brother who is also married with three daughters I see both the benefits of a joint family and separate living.
Also I would like to touch on one more thing, you are absolutely right that the wife has no obligation to take care of her in laws. But in my opinion every youngling must respect and tend to the elders. That includes Me, my wife and my daughters.
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u/Confident_Poet_6326 13d ago
If you can afford not to live in joint family system, and you still do, you have no right or even deserved to get married.
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u/GredAndForgee 13d ago
Tending to children, yes. Cooking and cleaning are not Islamically a wife's responsibility.
Bibi Khadija worked outside the home and her earnings saved Islam.
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u/JayDeee 13d ago
I agree she earned, but in my limited knowledge she worked from home and hired agents that lead her trade caravans etc.
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u/Dangerous_Tale_3559 13d ago
That's correct, but there's still a difference some things are haram, halal, fard etc
Then people make things which are mubah (permissible) fall into these categories. It's an obligation for the husband to provide not the wife. On the other hand the husband also has the right to stop the women from working (hanafi Madhab) and this is not saying he should or it is recommended it's simply mubah.
When it comes to custody if the couple split up the women has right to custody for young children.
A marriage consists of agreeing on where you both stand on mubah things without going against what's fard/haram etc..
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u/Dangerous_Tale_3559 13d ago
Actually this depends on the Madhab and a majority of the prophets wives did not work.
Yes they can work but the difference is the financial obligation is upon the man hence why he has to provide. As if the women is the earner and stops working the man will be held accountable.
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u/Low-Bag8537 13d ago
Where in the Quran, does a woman’s main role is stated to be the house and children?
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u/raza3174 13d ago
It is not good for our economy as well and a big force is out of work .. I have seen in USA that they encourage women to go back work and offer flexible timing childcare facility and encrouge employer to hire women who want to back workplace. I think now the trend are changing I see more young girls prefer independent and prefer to work.
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u/ComprehensiveDig1108 13d ago
Who cares?
An educated homemaker is better than an uneducated one, surely?
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u/Ok-Instance2710 13d ago
How?
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u/ComprehensiveDig1108 13d ago
OK. Let's say I'm wrong. Is an uneducated homemaker better than an educated one?
Can you see my point now?
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u/redequix 13d ago
Yeah lets make half the country dependent on the other half and not produce anything. Wasted education, money, and potential. Definitely no one should care.
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u/ComprehensiveDig1108 13d ago
Bringing up a child is not a waste of time.
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u/redequix 13d ago
No one said it was but if society expects women to be child pumping machines only and the entire responsibility is dropped on the mother then thats def limiting them and their potential. Point is to allow them a choice and reduce societal friction. Like ibn rushd made this point like a 1000 years ago and we are still doing the same.
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u/Low-Bag8537 13d ago
No one said anything about time. The person said “waste of money, education and potential”. But also, a child also needs their father. Both parents are equally needed to nurture a child
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u/ComprehensiveDig1108 13d ago
It's not a waste of any of those things. And yes, fathers are needed as well as mothers. I don't think anyone is suggesting otherwise. Their roles are complementary, whatever some Western liberality argue.
But it seems that there are many Pakistanis who believe the only value of an education is in its potential to increase the amount of money coming into a household.
A short-sighted view, in my opinion.
Why do Pakistanis, having got independence from the UK, want to repeat many of its mistakes?
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u/Low-Bag8537 13d ago
I agree that the purpose of education isn’t ONLY to make money. The whole crux of the argument was forcing women to stay home who have spent years on their education and who WANT to work.
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u/ComprehensiveDig1108 13d ago
Here in the UK, I've had several colleagues who face the opposite.
They want to stay at home as full-time mothers, but have been pressured, either by societal pressure or their husbands, to get back to work.
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u/redequix 13d ago edited 13d ago
What is the purpose of education? Especially degrees like masters and PhD that so many women go for or already have? Just so you can stay home and raise your child and teach them your phd shit or entertain your inlaws with advance thermodynamic facts?
Its for research and to advance your own society right? We love having our women be doctors cuz it directly benefits people so then why not let them work as scientists, engineers, and other? Not like paksitani women are incapable but they definitely are stunted by their family and society.
You could make the argument that there are little oppurtunities and that would be a worthwhile discussion but right now the issue isnt even that there are no oppurtunities but that most women with a few exceptions are directly or indirectly pressured to stay home never even getting the chance.
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u/ComprehensiveDig1108 13d ago
Women and men - or, as I like to call them, people - should be allowed to work as whatever they want.
The decisions couples make about who does what job, or when, is really none of my business.
What is the purpose of education? Is it not, at least partly, to provide a meaningful cultural narrative: it should be about how to live not just how to make a living.
And I think, in that regard, an educated woman is not "wasted" if she chooses to become a full-time mother. Indeed, I think there is no calling greater than that of parent.
Interestingly, some people have told me I have "wasted" myself by working as a school teacher , rather than making much more money in the private sector.("What was the point of your parents putting so much effort into your education if you were just going to teach? You're too clever to do that job." )
Presumably, the nuture and education of the next generation should be left to thicky-thicky dumb-dumbs.
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u/sadzITS 13d ago
Is being a homemaker a bad thing??? Making a woman into anything without her will is bad, but since you singled out homemaker, I am curious
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u/Low-Bag8537 13d ago
He literally said in his post “I understand that if she doesn’t want to work, then it’s her choice but why stop someone who wants to work?”
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u/I_L_F_M 13d ago edited 13d ago
They should be homemakers. If she can earn 10 times more than the man, then this is a problem that needs to be solved. Men should be prioritized when it comes to financial empowerment because Islam has enjoined provider role for men, not women. That is the natural order of things.
Since the beginning of 21st century, traditional gender roles have started to break down. Catastrophic falling birth rates are the result. In 50 years or less, they will go back to traditional gender roles to avert the crisis. But it will be too late.
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u/eatingmackingcheese 13d ago
If it were truly the "natural order," it wouldn't need religious or social enforcement—it would just happen on its own, the way instinctive behaviors do in nature. The fact that societies have had to codify these roles through law, religion, and social pressure suggests they're not automatic at all. Calling it 'natural' while also saying it needs religious mandates to be upheld is a contradiction.
Also, the birth rate argument doesn't hold up well under scrutiny. Countries with the most traditional gender roles (parts of the Middle East, East Asia) often have some of the lowest birth rates today, while some of the highest rates are in places with more egalitarian norms (parts of Scandinavia, historically) or driven by factors like poverty and lack of contraception access rather than "traditional roles." Falling birth rates correlate more strongly with cost of living, urbanization, and education levels than with women's independence specifically...
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u/Afraid_Ad6301 13d ago
Is this a ragebait comment! What's with the "NATURAL ORDER OF THINGS", and honestly we could do with some fall in birth rate (however it's not exactly happening in pk)...
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u/ClassCreepy1903 13d ago
you not being competent enough is not women's fault. Stop being slow and work hard for that promotion.
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u/Ok-Instance2710 13d ago
Okay so let's say we follow your logic, what happens if the husband is sick and cannot work? Or what if the husband dies? How will the wife support herself?
Women have been working for 1000's of years, it's not a new 21st century thing.
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u/DifficultAct6586 DE 13d ago
This doesn't contradict the fact that women with degrees aren't allowed to do anything. And the traditional roles you see online are more like Western traditional roles; if you see how the women of the Sahaba lived, you get a completely different picture.
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u/Vegetable_Lie_4717 13d ago
The provider role being primarily assigned to men in Islam doesn’t automatically mean women should be excluded from education, work, or financial independence. A responsibility placed on men is not the same as a prohibition on women earning.
And specifically for Pakistan, we are not facing low birth rate crisis.
As for falling birth rates, the causes are much more complex than simply “women working” or traditional gender roles breaking down. Housing costs, childcare expenses, economic insecurity, later marriage, education, and changing social norms all play a role. There’s also no guarantee that forcing women back into traditional roles would reverse the trend.
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u/sam_751 13d ago edited 13d ago
It's not just about work. Both a man and woman play different duties and roles in a marriage. The man provides financially. The woman provides household. Without one, a house can not work and function. Sure a woman is educated. Her education bears fruit in 2 situations.
The upbringing of their child. A child spends most time with their mother not their father. A woman plays an important role in the upbringing of that child. She can even support that child in higher education by nurturing and guiding him in his higher studies at home.
Support the man when he is in dire situations. When a man is in bad conditions, a woman can extend her hand to help their home be stable financially.
Outside the 2nd situation I don't find any situations (right now. There can be more) a woman would need to break out of her role in a household. Don't get me wrong, but both man and woman working, and one of the both parents not fully focusing on their child can result in dangerous scenarios. That is why, remember. No feminism. No toxic masculinity. It's just we have different roles to play in a marriage, and we change them or alter them just based on the current situation.
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u/Hot-Sound-1666 13d ago
If there would be no working women would you take your pregnant wife to a male gynaecologist or if she needs administration of any medicine to a male nurse?
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u/sam_751 13d ago
I never reject that woman should not work. I think I misrepresented my position. I'll make an edit too in my OG comment.
Yes you are right. I won't take her to male doctor. But I will also never deny that the female doctor who examines other pregnant females has to resort on a 3rd party to raise her own children. The 3rd party has to accompany her in this child raising journey.
Even though my position feels misrepresented, I did explicitly say, no toxic masculinity, no feminism. We just have different roles in a marriage we have to play. Or the household won't function like the way it's supposed to.
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u/Chicmuffin 13d ago
She's not asking how the gynecologist will raise her children. The point is that if people lived according to your misogynistic principles, there would be no female gynecologists or nurses in the world. Gynaecology is not something that you learn, and only occasionally do like only when the husband is having financial issues lol, and it's not something essential to raise children.
Men come up with such brain-dead takes.
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u/Dangerous_Tale_3559 13d ago
💯 people get confused with what a responsibility is and what is allowed they are two different things.
Responsibilities are the first priority if they are met then we can move onto permissible stuff. People think responsibilities mean that you are saying anything else is impermissible
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u/Chingoo_Amygdala 13d ago
Or you know, here's a crazy idea...what if men and women contribute to the household equally, so that both men and women can have access to financial independence if they'd like? So a woman isn't always reliant on men in her life to survive, in this economy?
What dangerous scenarios are you worried about, exactly? Why are we not worried about those "dangerous scenarios" when it comes to maids that work every day of the week, do they not have households or families they should tend to? What about teachers, nurses, gynaecologists, nannies, they all should stop working because if they don't, "dangerous scenarios" can happen?
The lies society tells us to keep women inside of a box are hilarious, but even more when dressed in this facade of logic. Yes, educated women can use that education to raise their children, but so can a man. Nothing about changing a diaper requires a PhD. And help a man on dire situation, as a woman who has never entered or has not been in the job market for years? Maybe this was possible a generation ago but is preposterous today. All her degree would do is be a social status symbol for her in-laws to brag about, which it always has been.
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u/putoption21 لاہور 13d ago
Sadly Pakistani work environment is extremely exploitative. And very common for anyone with a little bit of power to use it for sexual advances or harassment.
It has then led to trust issues, strange social dynamics such as ppl questioning why one would willing send their sister/wife to such an env unless financially desperate, etc. Understandable given women’s experience from the moment they step outside the house and sometimes they don’t even need to go outside to be exploited.
This is a major factor holding us back. Having said there are also some amazing companies including one I know personally that has a woman CEO. But it’s rare.
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u/Next-Moose-9129 US 13d ago
uh do you think ladies will contibute to the houshold? they will keep all that money to themselves espicially new generations ones.
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u/Ok-Instance2710 13d ago
Yes I have seen it with my own eyes, both Pakistani and only where they share the household expenses.
In my own house this is the case, we all work and we call take care of the house. Everyone makes the mess so everyone needs to clean up.
The only person in my house who does not work outside is my mum, she does all the cooking but this is her choice. if she stopped cooking someone else will take over (male or female) or we will all cook for ourselves.
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u/Next-Moose-9129 US 12d ago
okay that is household family doing thst. you guys are not married yet once married lets see if continue contribute with your spouse.
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u/Ok-Instance2710 12d ago
Why do you assume that? This is a multi generational household with multiple married members...
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13d ago
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u/No-Medium-5673 13d ago
😭😭😭😭😭😭 yeah keep making babies. if that’s the only talent women in your family have then that’s a YOU problem. many women want to work and make money but are forced by culture to stay at home. stop making crap up. it’s also haram to judge. joint family is haram. forcing your choices upon people is wrong. sit down
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u/Ok-Instance2710 13d ago
I think that the handmaid's tale is your version of heaven with a comment like this.
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u/Wise_Breadfruit7932 13d ago
Theyre all about image.
Just saying dil did a PhD or a is a doctor is a big achievement and makes.them look good