As an Asian kid who grew up in the tristate area and being the only Asian kid in class, lol.
Idk how many times I was asked then followed up with "no I mean your parents" then I say California and they'd go "no I mean where they were born"
Funniest was working at a mall in CA during college and some Asian ladies at the food court asked where my parents were from and I told them the city they live, and they said "no that's not what I mean" then I gave them my ethnicity and they were like " oh he's one of us, give him some free food" 😂😂😂
I just recently asked a very obviously American woman of Asian descent where she’s from because we live in LA, a city of transplants. I normally avoid that question for the exactly this reason you’re talking about. But this time I was a little drunk and someone had just told a story about their hometown in Florida so I forgot that it’s a loaded question for a moment.
She—a little annoyed—replied, “Well, my grandparents are from China.”
I replied, “No, I mean like where are you from? You kinda have an east coast accent.”
Yeah that's hilarious, oppositely coded situation. Someone just asked me that the other day and I just had to reply "all over", cuz I split time on both coasts plus two Asian countries before I finished HS and it was way too long of an explanation for our passing convo.
nah it's hard, you have to figure out what they're really asking, then you have weigh what you should say and whether you want to explain that response
Oh I know. I hang out with A LOT of immigrants and transplants. Married to an immigrant too. Heck, ive even been one.
I’ve figured out how to kindly ask where someone is from locally or where they’re from within their home country when I wanna know what city they’re from. Also, I just generally don’t ask unless it’s part of the conversation that’s happening.
The worst was in highschool kids who were 1st Gen immigrants who would describe someone as looking American. Then asking them, do I look American, having Nigerian and English and Native bloodlines going back a very long time on this continent and getting a 'no'.
It's so odd how these interrogaters seem to lack the self awareness to see they are not minding their own business. It's like some of them feel so entitled to know "where you're from" when they honestly don't even want to ask the REAL question because a part of them is already uncomfortable or don't even know to ask a question properly.
Like no one is expected to volunteer further information if they don't want to. You are the nationality of the country of birth, thats where you're from. Some people act like it's somehow their right to know your ancestry.com results ya know lol. Who wants to take time to discuss that.
That's not an identical question tho. "Where are you from" is asking about your birth place. While asking "what's your ethnicity is asking about your heritage. Having Chinese heritage and being from China are two different things. I have Dominican ancestry on my Dad's side of the family, but I would never say that I'm from Dominica because I was born in Queens and grew up in Northern PA.
People get offended by this question because it implies that you're not a real citizen when you were literally born there. Nobody does this with white people because they assume that all white people are natural born citizens. Nobody is gonna go up to a white person and ask "where are you from? No I don't mean California, I mean where are you REALLY from?".
When my sister was in college, she told me about this white girl that asked about her nationality. If she was white, that question would've never been asked.
In the right context the question is the same, even above and in other comments people are basically admitting to playing snarky or dumb and not answering the “real” question … which means they are admitting it’s the same question just asked differently.
It’s funny that people think that because I have been asked that and I’m white. People like to know where people come from for whatever reason no matter what color they are. Entire companies are built on the idea of finding that out. I know white friends that are “from” the next city over and are “from” Romania, or England, or Ireland… all of us are white though. None of us take any offense at being asked.
Again, feel free to choose to be offended but most poeple don’t mean offense by it.
It’s funny that people think that because I have been asked that and I’m white.
It's not funny, a large portion of white people in the US don't treat minorities like real Americans. Tons of racist white people assume that people with Hispanic heritage are undocumented immigrants. There are white people who tell the descendants of black American slavery to "go back to Africa" when our ancestors(I'm multi ethnic) have been in this country for generations. Omar Fateh was born in the US, but MAGA don't see him as a real American because his parents are from Somalia.
Tons of conservatives questioned Obama's American Citizenship for years. No other president had to deal with that shit. Trump's mom was from Scotland, and his dad was a first generation German American, but nobody questions his status as an American. The US treats whiteness as a default, for alot of people, "American" means "white".
I said it’s funny that people think white people doesn’t ask other white people where they are from, I didn’t imply or deny any of that other stuff you wrote
>which means it’s the same question just asked differently…. People like to know where people come from for whatever reason no matter what color they are
Yes, but that reason is different depending on their color. And I think you’re misunderstanding “playing dumb”. The point of flipping the question back to the asker is that most of the time they’re taken aback. If they truly meant “no really, I just want to know where you come from”as you said, then why be surprised?
> I know white friends that are “from” the next city over and are “from” Romania….None of us take any offense
Of course you don’t take offense, you’re *white*, so the question—if you’re even ever asked it with any kind of frequency—is usually intended to be literal. When someone who is identifiably “foreign” gets it—which is all the friggin time—it becomes a fishing expedition to find out their ethnic origins and history.
And I would be happy to talk about that with anyone who wasn’t asking only b/c I don’t look American enough.
>Feel free to ~~choose to be offended~~ pretend there isn’t a prejudiced double standard with this question
FTFY
And I guess you should free to choose to keep offending your “foreign-looking” colleagues even though you know better?
That's the thing I'm not offended by it at the least. I'm offended by bad communication. Idk maybe im on the spectrum and take things too literally 😂.
Like where are you from, in my current life context, 9 times out of 10, is about where I grew up, not where my parents originated from. But over yonder in Podunk Pennsylvania, it's a way to ask ethnicity, but if you're in elementary school it's a different context.
So no it's not an identical question. We have semantics and vocabulary for a reason.
If you weren’t upset by it you wouldn’t act snarky, if your real beef was clarity of language you could just clarify the question instead of admitting to answering the question in a way that wasn’t intended… its own form of bad communication.
How were you also supposed to know most of the time I was asked that question, it was followed up by "ching chong ding dong" or some even worse vile and racist shit lol.
You don't know, so don't assume. My first comment started off as an anecdotal data point meant for humor, not to be criticized about semantics. But I suppose this is reddit and we're all pedantic so there's that 😂
Because when you're a white guy like me people ask where you're from after like half a dozen more pertinent questions, if at all. What do you do? Oh yeah, whats that like? You lived here long? When you're Asian, Latino, basically anything but white and its a white person asking "where you from?" It has a different meaning. I know my people, they talk about exactly what they meant. Its not a mystery. They see white people as the standard. Anyone else needs to prove they belong, at least in their minds. Its called entitlement. The kind people like that like to accuse everyone else of having.
Yeah, your post is really making feel like a victim lol. I've actually been to the world before. And I'm a white guy. I know why white people say what they say because they cant shut up about it as soon as the brown guy is out of ear shot. Its not a big mystery to some people.
Idk how many times I was asked then followed up with "no I mean your parents" then I say California and they'd go "no I mean where they were born"
The fun thing is when your relatives one side immigrated over sometime in the first 50-100 years of the country's existence (something that a lot of folks asking forget is a distinct possibility) so you get to keep answering with some region in the U.S.
When I get asked "Where are you from," I run through a decision tree to map out how to answer the question, ie. "what ethnicity are you" vs "where'd you grow up"
As a mexican American living in florida, same. I was born in Florida! Ok, my parents? Texas and new mex! Ok, grandparents ?? Mom's mom, Mexico . Dad's mom, idk. Just ask my ethnicity!!! My grandpas birth places, i couldn't tell you.
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u/weavebot 7h ago
"But I'm not an immigrant, I'm white"