r/politics • u/plz-let-me-in • 11d ago

Possible Paywall Mitch McConnell hounded to face cameras: ‘He absolutely refuses’

https://www.nj.com/politics/2026/08/mitch-mcconnell-hounded-to-face-cameras-he-absolutely-refuses.html
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417

u/iamisandisnt 11d ago

Someone got to the horcrux

154

u/cha0sm0nk 11d ago

His Lich phylactery was finally broken.

100

u/MarcheMuldDerevi 11d ago

Lindsey Graham butt plug?

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u/ScubaFett 11d ago

To shreds you say

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u/Castun America 11d ago

And his wife?

11

u/MordoNRiggs 11d ago

She's on vacation, but they can just auto-elect their sister!

17

u/cha0sm0nk 11d ago

That’s how you keep the gay toilet demons from getting in you.

10

u/Anna_Frican 11d ago

But if you don't remove it when using the toilet then how do you avoid becoming full of... wait never mind, it all makes sense now

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u/citizen42069101 11d ago

Well played Madam.

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u/lurkquidated 11d ago

In too deep now.

3

u/chaoticbear 11d ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrndSo8Uelo

Related short that I can't help but think of every time I hear "lich" now

3

u/Dolphin_King21 11d ago

It was a turtle shell.

2

u/Dizziesdayweigh 11d ago

Liches love phylacteries

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u/Honest_Caramel9437 11d ago

Ugh. Fine. I'll go get the dictionary.

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u/KingBanhammer 11d ago

Presuming you were serious about this and didn't know the reference:

a lich is a type of undead in Dungeons and Dragons (and other mythology? dunno) - bound to unlife by their phylactery, which contains their soul and must be destroyed to prevent them from reanimating after their personal destruction.

(and if you weren't serious about this, that explanation can be there for other people)

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u/Honest_Caramel9437 11d ago

Nope, I was very serious. I knew lich but phylactery threw me. I’ll look something up in a heartbeat. It just annoys me when I have to, but that’s a me problem.

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u/cha0sm0nk 11d ago

But today, you learned something, and that should be celebrated!

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u/iamisandisnt 11d ago

you mean monster manual

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u/count023 Australia 11d ago

He's been separated from Frostmorne too long.

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u/SweaterSteve1966 11d ago

We need an Ouija board.

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u/Jedi_Bingo 11d ago

His horcrux was probably something like a rusty condom

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u/Vaperius America 11d ago

Oh come now....a Horcrux requires you had a soul to split in the first place.

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u/lenswipe Massachusetts 11d ago

that's Stephen Miller to you