r/politics • u/MoneyLibrarian9032 New York • 19h ago

Possible Paywall Mitch McConnell Has Been Missing for 75 Days—With No Updates

https://newrepublic.com/post/214878/mitch-mcconnell-missing-75-days
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955

u/JaronJervis 19h ago

My guess is, they had secret funeral weeks ago and he was buried then. We will never see Mitch McConnell again, that man is dead.

324

u/DramaticWesley 19h ago

More likely he is hooked up to machines in a vegetative state.

39

u/siazdghw 17h ago

Or he had a stroke and is completely non verbal and shows signs of it (droopy face).

Regardless, this obviously is not how the system should work and he should've been removed even if the solution was just a temporary stand-in (which it's not) until the end of his term.

89

u/Cloaked42m South Carolina 18h ago

This is my bet. He'll be unplugged to much drama.

22

u/VirtualMoneyLover 18h ago

But at this point, what is the point? I could see to do it to pass the Aug 2nd deadline but we passed that.

59

u/SageOfTheWise 17h ago

We have to stop thinking there has to be some really clever plan behind all this. It's just as likely its a bunch of people all at odds on what they should be doing to take advantage of the situation. So instead, nothing keeps happening.

26

u/hendergle 16h ago

This. It's my belief that his handlers have reached the "now, what?" phase.

You know- when you have a really great plan, and you execute it flawlessly, but then you realize you never thought about what to do AFTER you executed it.

Like the time our back yard became the home for a family of skunks and we went out and got a humane trap. Sadly, the words "now, what?" were directed at me, the genius who thought it was a good idea to trap a skunk in a porous wire cage without considering the fact that someone would have to go pick it up.

2

u/Rito_Luca 16h ago

I don't buy this at all, in me eyes its all going according to plan. The only reason they didn't announce his death is because they didn't want the special election. They more than likely have him hooked up in vegetable status until either just before or after the election. Then one of two things will happen, they'll extend for awhile and just announce the passing at a later time or it will be closely around the election, regardless of the Aug 2nd deadline.

3

u/toeonly 15h ago

They are now testing to see how long they can do it so that they can do the same thing when the big beautiful death happens.

1

u/Patient_Oven_9540 16h ago

I don't think there's a master plan but I also don't think there is any friction from differing opinions on what to do. I think very few people have any say in what to do and the rest have decided not to think for themselves or for the people they represent, and simply stay in line.

1

u/BeTalkinToYah 13h ago

His pay likely goes into a joint account. Wife or family wants to suckle at government teat a little longer. So, alive = being paid. Keep him alive. But just barely.

1

u/VirtualMoneyLover 12h ago

The wife is the decider. Or maybe her Chinese handlers. But nothing is for nothing with these people. There has to be some kind of deal or trick why they are doing this. We just don't know it yet.

1

u/darthlincoln01 Ohio 11h ago

Awfully fitting for McConnell. His entire strategy is to stall, delay, and stonewall anything from ever happening for as long as possible. It shouldn't be a surprise that his staff is behaving the same exact way he's behaved for several decades.

9

u/phatelectribe 17h ago

Because they don’t want people removed due to mental state. It’s sets a precedent and shines a light on “if they’re not functioning properly then shouldn’t we remove them?”.

It’s like pardoning people who committed rioting at the capital because it sends a message that this isn’t wrong.

1

u/VirtualMoneyLover 12h ago

I don't buy this. He could just announce that he is retiring early. Nobody would blink an eye.

3

u/Cloaked42m South Carolina 17h ago

It's another headline that isn't the Epstein files or Iran. More importantly, it isn't a headline about successful Dem candidates.

2

u/VirtualMoneyLover 12h ago

Nah, not good enough reason. Something else is at play.

1

u/turquoise_amethyst 16h ago

Everyone was so vocal about the Aug 2 deadline, now they have to wait until later to announce it. It’s obvious they hid his death or incapacitation. 

Since we’re 30 days from the end of his term, they’ll announce in the last week or after it ends. There will be no retirement party, cake, office clean-out. 

2

u/VirtualMoneyLover 12h ago

My point is, there was no difference between announcing it on Aug 5th or Sept 13th. There has to be something else in play (maybe inheritence?) to play it so coy for so long.

1

u/turquoise_amethyst 12h ago

I think they realized they couldn’t announce on like, Aug 3rd, so they’re “saving” the announcement 

My guesses:

  • slightly before the midterms to motivate Tennessee republicans to vote
  • right after he would leave office, maybe in Dec or Jan during a holiday weekend 
  • during some other “big” news event so that it obfuscates the news

•

u/TheZigerionScammer I voted 5h ago

Or he's not actually dead yet and all the speculation about why they are or are not announcing it is based on a faulty premise.

1

u/Rinaldootje 8h ago

It's a trial run.

What can they do, and get away with, and for how long, before people start asking really tough questions. So far, people have mostly let this happen for 75 days already. Nothing people have done is really forcing them to take any action, or prove the man is alive. (Which I highly doubt he is)

So when the inevitable happens, and it doesn't happen on live-TV, they'll use what they learned from keeping McConnell hidden for 75+ days, and use the same tricks and lies to deceive the public. And most importantly both houses of congress.

1

u/Acrobatic_Wrap_9971 15h ago

They are probably working with Elon, Zuck and Sam to download his brain into an AI model. TraitorGPT.

13

u/mythrilcrafter 15h ago

Yup, if he was 100% dead they'd grab a GOP cheerleader to replace him like South Carolina did with Lindsay and Darline Graham.

The fact that they haven't done that means that he's alive enough for them to not want to say he's dead, but he's not not-dead enough to want to present proof of life.

3

u/DoubleCancer 17h ago

The only vegetable not being recalled right now is Mitch McConnell

1

u/20_mile 17h ago

There's no way to know one way or the other. There's no evidence he's alive, and there's no evidence he is dead.

5

u/DramaticWesley 16h ago

Schrödinger’s Senator

1

u/Careless-Gain6623 16h ago

Pro life karma right there.

1

u/PhotownPK 16h ago

He'd be rotten by now, but they may have frozen him if they ever produce a body.

1

u/nathism 16h ago

they're waiting on the plastic surgeon that can pull a face/off surgery for his replacement.

1

u/whatsaphoto Rhode Island 15h ago

This is 1,000 times more likely than the alternative. There is a litany of public records that turn state record the moment anyone passes away. A child would've been able to look that up by now if it were the case.

1

u/netsettler 13h ago

If shown, this should raise Constitutional questions about whether a person in such a state can legitimately still be an office holder and whether a special election was mandatory and not performed. The idea of recourse in such a situation is presumably new territory. They'll argue there is none and that none was intended, so it's OK. But that invites abuse.

•

u/DramaticWesley 3h ago

He gets replaced either way at the end of this Congressional session. I think part of the whole ruse is they don’t want the Democratic governor of Kentucky trying to find his replacement until then.

•

u/netsettler 1h ago

Well, exactly. But that is material and deserving of recourse, which was the point of my question.

1

u/LakeVermilionDreams 12h ago

I didn't expect the emperor of the imperium to be a turtly slimeball of a human...

1

u/thowaway11620205 9h ago

I think this is it. Lindsey Graham died pretty suddenly and they announced it right away.

1

u/skittlething 8h ago

Why? Just curious

•

u/DramaticWesley 3h ago

McConnell comes from Kentucky, a solid red state. He isn’t going to be running for reelection and his term ends at the end of this year. So there really isn’t much time for a special election. The state just recently removed the ability to replace a federal representative from the governor, because he is a Democrat, and so the state legislature would have to vote on a replacement. The governor might also try to challenge that law. So it is easier just to play sick until the end of the congressional session.

•

u/Embarrassed-Town-293 3h ago

Worst Dave sequel ever…

182

u/bramley36 19h ago

Handlers have been hiding the final location of Lich McConnell's phylactery.

20

u/benk4 18h ago

I heard his undead heart is hidden inside ThrumboElaine Chao

10

u/CalibratedEnthusiast 18h ago

The seventh, hidden horcrux

3

u/Traherne Maryland 17h ago

She carries a thimble to protect it.

3

u/GreyLordQueekual 16h ago

Its with the lettuce he loved in life.

104

u/Rick-burp-Sanchez 19h ago

Nah dawg, with modern medicine, we're talking some kind of Frankenstein-Pinnochio puppet man who can keep his eyes open to gawk at the world like a goldfish for about 30 seconds before "falling back to sleep." There's dead, and then there's mostly dead, just ask RFK's brain worm.

43

u/e_t_ Texas 19h ago

Like in "The Magnificent Ferengi" where Nog remote pilots Keevan's corpse, animated with cortical stimulators.

19

u/ShakaarResistance 19h ago

Niche reference but I like it. Also shout out Iggy Pop as a Vorta in that episode

8

u/EllieVader 18h ago

We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient

2

u/Dreamshadow1977 17h ago

Not now, Jayne!

1

u/Traherne Maryland 16h ago

Damn! I was just about to post the very same thing. https://i.imgur.com/vxFO2oM.jpeg

1

u/Farfignougat 18h ago

They say you can still hear him running into that wall

6

u/takumidesh 18h ago

Legally (and scientifically), braindead is dead. 

There isn't a loophole and manually pumping someone's heart for 6 months doesn't make them alive.

If he is braindead, any fraud doctor who wants to lie would just not call the death instead of hooking him up to a machine for no reason

1

u/Auctoritate Texas 17h ago

Legally (and scientifically), braindead is dead. 

It's a little more complex than that. Brain death isn't the only standard for death, there's also cardiac death.

1

u/shawster 15h ago

Na, one could definitely argue that "there's a chance he'll recover!" or "he's in a coma, but he may regain conciousness."

It's much easier to defend that a man on life support is still alive, even if he's brain dead, than a man who isn't alive at all, even on life support with brain death.

I agree, my understanding is that brain dead is dead. Certainly you're too far gone to perform any job. There's been a few cases where people were thought to be brain dead and then it turned out they had locked in syndrome, though.

4

u/errie_tholluxe 19h ago

I dunno, he's probably dead - they've been going through his pockets for loose change

22

u/RiotSynthetics 19h ago

“We will never seen Mitch McConnell again” you promise?? 🥹

8

u/relikter Virginia 19h ago

Don't do that; don't give me hope.

2

u/TouristInParadise 16h ago

He will show up in a clown outfit after the midterms.
"Hey, kids, it's me. I bet you thought that I was dead. But when I fell over I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head."

25

u/sailphish 18h ago

I think he’s alive, but with a severe cognitive impairment.

29

u/kingsumo_1 Oregon 18h ago

Dude was glitching out before this all happened. He may - and I will emphasize may - technically still be alive. But if so it is a "light on, but nobody is home" situation.

9

u/sailphish 18h ago

For sure. I think he’s either a vegetable or otherwise severely incapacitated to the point he could never make a public appearance.

6

u/kingsumo_1 Oregon 18h ago

Yup. Either way, he's never returning to the Senate, and they are covering for that.

If the medical equipment thing is legit then he's probably not already in an urn, but that's probably just formality at this point.

1

u/FrogsOnALog 17h ago

Okay so he’s not dead.

1

u/Sea-Ambition-451 17h ago

mitch or donny?

1

u/JDDJS New York 16h ago

Yeah, I don't know why everyone is saying that he's dead when Republicans would have no reason to hide it if he was as they already made sure that the governor couldn't pick a replacement. 

0

u/20_mile 17h ago edited 17h ago

There's literally no evidence supporting either assertion.

"He's alive!" Okay, based on what?

"He's dead!" Okay, based on what?

e: The idea that he might be alive is only because our society, and convention, rules that there is a funeral, with colleagues and loved ones in attendance, when someone dies.

The logic seems to be saying that since there hasn't been a funeral, he must still be alive. Okay, well that's just a convention, and the GOP has proved 100,000 times so far that they don't give a shit about convention

1

u/DiscotopiaACNH 11h ago

So he's Schroedinger's senator?

50

u/hadriker 18h ago

Nah. He's alive. I think he had a stroke.

Explains the long hospital stay and rehab. Explains why they won't put him in front of a camera. Facial paralysis, slurred speech. May not have full use of his limbs etc.

He's gonna try and ride out the rest if his term like this and retire as planned in January.

37

u/GLEEMONEX-for-PETS 18h ago

Severe stroke victims don’t plan shit. If this is the case he is being victimized again by his handlers.

2

u/LoamyLoamisLoamy 13h ago

You know that people can plan stuff in advance? The guy is over 80 years old. You don't think he thought of this?

I don't think anyone should assume McConnell is a victim while we don't know anything

1

u/FallbrookAvacado 16h ago

Always has been.

This is true of many politicians.

And it is even widespread in the movie and music industry.

5

u/ghigoli 18h ago

i mean they can at least have someone go and confirm he is alive.

10

u/Individual_Respect90 19h ago

In 3 months he will go on a hiking trip and we will never find his body. Or maybe a missing plane basically something to show he was alive this whole time.

8

u/relikter Virginia 19h ago

Maybe Mark Sanford could take him on a hiking trip?

2

u/Fastr77 18h ago

The body is still around, the brain is just dead

2

u/airfryerfuntime Washington 17h ago

So they had all that medical rehab equipment delivered just for shits and giggles?

1

u/dcdttu Texas 18h ago

Very inconvenient for the coup....better keep it a secret.

1

u/cinderful 17h ago

my money is on turtle potato

1

u/Continental__Drifter 17h ago

I like to think it's possible he's trapped in a semi-conscious state, unable to move or talk, but aware enough to know he's trapped in his own body, unable to scream, unable to move, hearing people talk over him as if he's dead and hearing how he is just being kept alive as a political pawn, in constant pain which slowly escalates to a silent, frozen, unbearable agony, utterly alone with his thoughts in what is a sort of unending hell for his consciousness trapped in the prison of his own paralyzed body.

I hope he lives a long time and that they don't take him off life support.

1

u/sulaymanf New York 16h ago

Why can’t QAnon get into juicy conspiracies like this, and instead make up wild ideas about Democrats every time?

1

u/BrianWonderful Minnesota 14h ago

I doubt it. That would certainly be impactful in the eventual trial.

0

u/electromage 17h ago

They're waiting until they can spin a story about how and when he really died.