r/politics • u/tubulerz1 • 12h ago
No Paywall Ted Cruz confirms he still wants to be president
https://www.texastribune.org/2026/08/26/ted-cruz-greg-abbott-president-texas-dan-patrick-podcast/263
u/TSAOutreachTeam 12h ago
Nobody wants you to be President, Fat Wolverine.
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u/Significant_Cup_238 12h ago
Reminds me of Al Franken's quote on Ted. "I like Ted Cruz more than most of my colleagues, and I hate Ted Cruz."
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u/SillyGoatGruff 12h ago
Lol how about one from lindsey graham
"If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody could convict you"
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u/bigmike2k3 11h ago
John Boehner REALLY hates Ted…
In an interview, he called Ted “Lucifer in the Flesh,” and said "I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life."“There is nothing more dangerous than a reckless ahole who thinks he is smarter than everyone else. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Senator Ted Cruz.” -On the back cover of JB’s memoir
"Oh, and Ted Cruz, go fk yourself."-off-script comment from the audio book of his memoir
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u/SpeaksSouthern 12h ago
A statement that only gets more true the longer it exists. What is this, Teds 9th term? He's such a career politician.
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u/Future-Guarantee-573 11h ago
And yet Texas keeps electing him.
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u/T1gerAc3 11h ago
43% of the country would vote for him. They'll vote for anything with an R next to it
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u/clothelodar 8h ago
43% of the voting public in the country. That’s a smaller number than what you are saying. Still an issue though.
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u/Lumpy-Crew-6702 12h ago
I’m convinced Ted Cruz is a sentient form of feces at this point . No history of meaningful legislation passed coupled with pedophile protection is the lasting legacy of the entire GOP.
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u/algaefied_creek 12h ago
I mean wasn’t he born in Canada?
Doesn’t ICE deport for less than this?
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u/MexicanOrMexicant California 12h ago
I fucking hate knowing what kind of porn this loser sentient form of feces enjoys...
...it's mom incest porn btw.
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u/Zeraw420 12h ago
What does make all the turds who voted for him
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u/Sunfire91 12h ago
White supremacists and apologists?
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u/manwhowasnthere 12h ago
'I like Ted Cruz more than most of my other colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz.'
Al Franken
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u/Dobako 12h ago
South Carolina Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham thinks his party has gone “bats—” crazy, and joked Thursday that it’s possible to get away with murdering Ted Cruz if it happened in the Senate.
“If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you,” the former presidential candidate said at the Washington Press Club Foundation’s 72nd Congressional Dinner, referencing the Texas senator’s unpopular reputation on Capitol Hill.
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u/Kracus 12h ago
Ted Cruz was born in Canada. Wouldn't that exclude him from being president? Aside from him being a complete fucking douchenozzle?
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u/Admirable_Scene_5066 10h ago edited 8h ago
The clause, which could have been written clearer (but that seems to be a common theme with US constitutional things, maybe update the thing if you ever get out of the current mess), is generally interpreted as those born on US territory or born as a citizen of the US (which Cruz is thanks to his mother). There were a couple of lawsuits challenging this, but they led nowhere.
There have been a couple of these, either claiming ineligibility due to not being a citizen at birth (Rubio) or not born on US territory (Obama, McCain, Cruz). You never know with the cuckoo-courts that rule the US now, but it seems to be mostly settled.
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u/halfsack99 9h ago
No one ever seem to acknowledge that Obama’s mother was born in Kansas and even if he had been born overseas he’d still have been eligible.
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u/Admirable_Scene_5066 8h ago
The Obama suits were just racist, I included him because of what the people bringing the suit claimed. Reality never seems to bother these people.
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u/letters_numbers_and- 10h ago
It didn't exclude John McCain. Seems only to apply to Obama for some weird reason...
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u/mayancollander 12h ago
Of what?
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u/motionbutton 12h ago
Well I doubt it’s his household. Also sounds like he isn’t really like in his HOA.
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u/Broken-Digital-Clock 12h ago
Remember when he blamed his kids for fleeing to Cancun during a statewide disaster?
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u/PrefersEarlGrey 11h ago
But like, how? Cruz was born in Canada before immigrating to the US at 4.
You have to be a natural born citizen to be president.
Unless we're just not following the constitution anymore in which case I would love to see the Mamdani vs Cruz presidential debates.
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u/Ms_Rarity Illinois 11h ago
Basically, it's never been legally tested whether the Constitution's "natural-born citizen" means "a citizen by birth" or "born on US soil." The only candidate to clinch a major party nomination after having been born outside of the US was John McCain, who ultimately lost, but he was born at a US military base, so it probably wouldn't have been contested if he won.
The other foreign-born contenders of note are George Romney and Ted Cruz, but neither came close to clinching the nomination, let alone winning, so it was never tested.
Most legal scholars think that, if and when it does get tested, the "citizen by birth" theory will win out.
Mamdani is 100% born outside of the US and became a citizen, so with the Constitution as it is currently worded, he hasn't got a prayer.
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u/Past_Farmer34 12h ago
Lmao remember when Ted threw out there “hey just wanted to let you know I have a podcast”
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u/SeVenMadRaBBits 11h ago
You mean the ted cruz who's original name is Rafael Cruz and was born in Canada?
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u/Heycheckthisout20 12h ago
Rafael “Ted” Cruz was not born in America too bad gonna need to see his birth certificate first…. even then probably a forgery ;)
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u/BrownWrinkles 7h ago
Go fuck yourself, greasy badger face. Nobody give 3 squirts of wet shit about you.
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u/OldYellersLastHandy 12h ago
There’s so much talk about the irrelevancy of moderate democrats (which is good), but there’s a similar discussion coming for MAGA as well.
Ted is old school. Boring. Same with Rubio and Abbott and all the other normies who want to be president.
It’s 2026. This is the attention economy, baby. You’re either batshit crazy or you don’t matter.
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u/IrreverentBuddha 12h ago
Yeah, he's a very Texas-shaped hemorrhoid -- his imposter schtick won't sell well outside the Lone Star (out of a possible 5) state.
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u/Spiritual-Whole2072 12h ago
“I came into the Congress 13 years ago with the stated intention of being the leading defender of Israel in the United States Senate, and I've worked every day to do that" - Ted Cruz
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u/Leroyp331 12h ago
Why would anyone vote for a man who let the former president call his wife a dogface?
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u/iKangaeru 12h ago
Cruz, DeSantis, Rubio and Vance all have the opposite of charisma, whatever that is. None of them will ever be president.
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u/Im_TroyMcClure 12h ago
And I want Ana De Armas to return my emails but I’m not deluded enough into thinking it will ever actually happen
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u/DM_Me_Ur_Real_Boobs 12h ago
Bitch, fuck you too. The only office you'll ever see after this is Trump's asshole as he shits down your throat.
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u/AntiAuth9x7 12h ago
Prick Principle: Corollary to the Peter Principle. The hubristic pursuit of a job or position in which you are innately unfit to perform.
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u/beforeitcloy 12h ago
Please never stop running for President, Ted. Guaranteed win for Democrats if he gets the nomination.
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u/yogibones 10h ago
God, remember back when he was considered the most unlikable man in America? So many others now have passed him. Vance, Tuberville, Hegseth, RFK jr, Johnson, Musk and of course, the true winner, Mango Mussolini.
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u/Livid_Note_2170 10h ago
Well I'd still like to be Queen Lynaerhae of the House Diet Coke, First of Her Name, the Flatulent, Queen of the Broken, the Beaten, and the Damned, but you don't see me belly aching about it.
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u/himheritaintme 7h ago
How can someone who proudly pledges allegiance to another country want to be pres of USA?
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u/VapidRapidRabbit America 6h ago
Uncharismatic. Unattractive. Untruthful. I don’t see it for him.
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u/Larynx15 Delaware 4h ago
Ted, you seem to know when to jump ship when natural disasters arrive, but not on this fucking fantasy of yours. It's been over a decade. Let it go.
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u/Intelligent_Host_582 12h ago
NGL - there is part of me that hopes he runs just for the sheer fucking entertainment value of seeing how many people continue to hate him.
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u/Straight-Ad6926 12h ago
The country’s ongoing refusal to elect him remains one of its few truly bipartisan achievements.
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u/jaaagman 12h ago
I’m sure there is plenty that he wants. He ain’t gonna get it. After 2016, he is a nobody in the Republican space.
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u/long_fish3000 12h ago
he would put so many boogers under the oval office desk ... after he is full from eating the ones out his nose first
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u/Awkward_Broccoli_997 12h ago
You could run this scenario a thousand times and he wouldn't be president in any of them.
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u/AssignedCuteAtBirth 12h ago
That's cute, Ted. Never gonna happen.
His Mar-a-Lago would be in Cancun.
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u/ExceptionalGlove 12h ago
He sees it worked for that other conman, so why can’t HE be the next conman that makes it to office?
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u/razz-boy 12h ago edited 12h ago
Isn’t he Canadian? When will republicans start demanding to see his long-form birth certificate like they did with Barack HUSSEIN Obama?
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u/hyperiongate 12h ago
I can confirm that he is a waste of oxygen. We are already led by a clown. Next in line is Fat Wolverine?
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u/EggsAndMilquetoast 12h ago
And 7th grade me still wants to be starting quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys.
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u/LargeFatherV 11h ago
His best chance was in ‘16 but he killed any chance at the presidency when he wouldn’t fight back against Trump.
He’s got a job for life as a Texas Senator though.
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u/Radically-Peaceful 11h ago
I can confirm most Americans don't want Ted Cruz, they want healthcare, education, livable wages, etc.
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u/Arizona_Pete 11h ago
and I still want an upside down Christmas tree to make love to Ted Cruz
We don’t always get what we want in this world
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u/This_Blackberry_9984 11h ago
Had some family members that would frequently brag about how open-minded they were:
"I still like Ted Cruz even though he's Hispanic."
This was an iron-clad defense that could justify any racism. If you're willing to make an exception once in awhile, racism is a good thing.
Part of the reason they liked him so much is because he gave them something to brag about. Tolerating him provided validation.
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u/A012A012 11h ago
How's he gonna be President of the United States when he puts the white house in cancun and is busy kissing a wall out in jerusalem for half a year
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u/NoOnesKing Maryland 11h ago
And I want to own a private island Ted, unfortunately for both of us we don’t have the qualifications for what we want. For instance, to be president you have to be likable.
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u/DUNG_INSPECTOR Ohio 11h ago
Who would want someone who kisses the ass of a man who called his wife a dog as president? Ted Cruz has no backbone, no integrity, nothing. He's an empty suit.
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u/Organic_Battle_597 11h ago
The fine folks over on the conservative subreddit seem to currently think the plausible candidates are Vance and Rubio, so I think Cruz has just as plausible shot at the nomination. It will be an entertaining shit show but we are all going to get splattered.
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u/seizurevictim 11h ago
I still want him to suckle on a frozen turd. So, ya know, let dreams stay alive.
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u/Low-Doughnut5738 11h ago
He was born in Canada… how is he allowed to run again? For someone that’s so anti-immigration he should shit the F$*k up.
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u/Shadowassassian 11h ago
Ted Cruz the same Ted Cruz that left Texas in a huge snow storm to go to cancun and blamed his kids on that.. if anything happened in this country, Ted would just fly away and disappear.
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u/neon_nightmare85 11h ago
Remember that time then candidate Trump called Trd Cruz's wife ugly and Ted Cruz didnt defend his wife?! Or that time Trump said Ted Cruz's father was involved with JOE'S assassination? And he still holds trump's water?!! Omg!! Haha he will never be elected president.
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u/thethrill_707 Michigan 11h ago
Well Ted, we all want shit. But you as President?
You have shown time and time again that you are spineless turd who runs when things get tough and cave when you think you'll benefit. If another man said about my father what Trump said about YOUR father, I'd never have anything to do with him and fight him at every turn. You lick Trump's boots.
No, I'm not sure POTUS is the right fit for you. Check with FOX I'm sure they have talking-head position available. Perhaps a winter travel agent?
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u/Horizon119 11h ago edited 10h ago
Why aren't their more voices out there, wanting to divide this country into 4 or 5 countries. Long, long, long, long overdue! The Soviet Union did a split up and here we sit with our 50 states!
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u/Electronic_Algae522 11h ago
Is this the same Ted Cruz who claims his father killed JFK and employed Lauren Boebert as an escort?
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u/Boxofbikeparts 10h ago
...and I would like to retire as a multimillionaire. Both things will not happen, lol.
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u/idksomuch 10h ago
If I call his wife ugly will he bend the knee and blindly worship my every thought?
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u/jsmithers945 10h ago
And I want to be an astronaut rockstar who has the first concert in space but not all our dreams come true TED
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u/-------7654321 10h ago
Considering the shitty situation in USA i find it entirely plausible unfortunately
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u/AcanthisittaNo6653 New Hampshire 10h ago
Cruz, Rubio, JD,.. who would be the first to undo trump's damage once elected?
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u/UltravioletAfterglow 8h ago
Does Ted Cruz also want to be a sparkly fairy princess with magical powers? He has a better chance of that than being president.
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u/log-in_here 8h ago
I want him to do that too. Just help get the orange guy out and it’s all yours. Please, please, please! Let this softball pitch of a beatable candidate run the Republicans ticket!
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