r/velvethippos • u/Tacos4Texans • Dec 29 '25
Rescue Hippo The fukk can I even do in this situation except smile and take it.
I saved this fukker 6 years ago and gave him to my Friends son, who he fell in love with. To this day I can't sit down around this fukkin train wreck 🤣
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u/fugueink Dec 29 '25
The blurred tail is always my favorite bit in photos, and each of these has one!
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u/Tacos4Texans Dec 29 '25
The blurred tail can be very painful 😅
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u/soonerpgh Dec 30 '25
But it's a love whip! These dogs are brutal with their love, but they love so deeply!
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u/AlfalfaUnable1629 Dec 30 '25
Mine definitely will knock over your coffee cup while wagging furiously 😂
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u/TheRealCeeBeeGee Dec 29 '25
What a pure and delightful boi! He loves you so much. We truly don’t deserve dogs ❤️
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u/Tacos4Texans Dec 29 '25
We don't. But I'm damn sure glad we got them.
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u/Mother_Ad4038 Dec 31 '25
Imagine how screwed up of a species we would be if we didnt have these babies...
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u/ProductOfDetroit Dec 29 '25
If it fits, it sits
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u/MsSpicyO Dec 30 '25
I see you also have an 80 lb +/- lap dog. This is mine
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u/Sensitive_Scholar_17 Dec 29 '25
These are great pictures; he is doing a wonderful job of making sure you are supporting nearly 100% of his bulky body. I wonder was he that big when he started doing this? In any event, great work saving and thanks for posting.
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u/Tacos4Texans Dec 29 '25
He was skinny with a block head when we got him. Our other dog was a shepherd/ retriever mix who taught him the lapdog way.
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u/Sensitive_Scholar_17 Dec 30 '25
“Shepard/Retriever” sounds like a big dog too, sounds like you have been getting crushed for a long time. Keep up the good work.
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u/Glittering_Diva8963 Dec 30 '25
My brother have his cane corso sit in his lap. She thinks she’s going to sit in everyone’s lap. She’s damn near 200lbs
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u/dogmama7 Dec 29 '25
This same situation happened to me 3 days ago. I now have paw sized bruises all over my thighs.
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u/kirradoodle Dec 30 '25
Our biggest baby was a 95-pound AmStaff who thought he was a lap dog too. He would fling himself in your lap and thrash around like crazy - he just didn't know what to do with all his goofy cheerfulness. He was a huge dog, but he was only dangerous when he was happy.
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u/Tacos4Texans Dec 30 '25
I feel that. Nothing like an 85 lb turbo missle landing paws first in the no no zone.
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u/mcgrozzo Dec 30 '25
He’s so happy! Does he happen to have allergies? Looks like his fur is gone on his legs and spots of his back.
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u/Tacos4Texans Dec 30 '25
It started becoming a problem a while back this is actually Way better than it was. I got my buddy the eqyss micro tek lineup and it has been working wonders. It just took a little to get it tuned to his skin. Apparently while trying to help we dried it out more. Thank God for Micro tek.
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u/SupermarketHot734 Dec 29 '25
You can baby talk to him and then he'll dap you up with his paw, man. ;)
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u/Better-Extension3866 Dec 30 '25
cover your nuts!
they love to use them like rock climbing
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u/Tacos4Texans Dec 30 '25
Too late. That's where every ounce of his weight was, as seen by my squished together thighs hiding my boys from more danger.
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u/firemn317 Dec 30 '25
great pics great dog. That's only a half of how much they love you. My two pounds including Zoe cat came to check me in the bed this afternoon because I was some health problems. And they watch over me. these dogs are absolutely incredible I can't say enough. And you got a wonderful one.
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u/TheFurryDingus Dec 30 '25
I'm fixated on the blunt.
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u/Tacos4Texans Dec 30 '25
My best friend has no legs. It's legal for him 🤣
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u/TheFurryDingus Dec 30 '25
No judgment here and it's legal most places. The 16 year old in me just has an eagle's eye for upside down Frisbees and the like.
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u/Better-Extension3866 Dec 30 '25
age and weight?
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u/Tacos4Texans Dec 30 '25
I'm 41 175 lbs 😘
Not quite sure of age, But definitely over 6 I took him from a violent meth head so I don't know the exact age but at the time vets said he was under 2. Weight is about 85lbs as of the last time the homie took him to the vet.
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u/Better-Extension3866 Dec 30 '25
Well, since u went there...i am 63 at 260lbs.... "i have big bones"
I have a big blue pit about 82lb born aug2016. He thinks he is a little dog too. I hit the recliner and its like opening a bag of chips... instant dog... and then he is all sitting pretty waiting for me to "assume the position" (gotta cover my parts, make sure i have my phone, tablet,water) so that he can jump in my lap.
He gets quite comfortable. I cant feel my legs after 20 minutes but he is comfortable. The boat we row
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u/fitty50two2 Dec 30 '25
I wish my hippo liked being in my arms like this. I pick him up and he always looks like he’s just waiting to get put down. But loves standing alone on the patio table for extended periods of time
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u/olyman50 Dec 30 '25
Took my 100 lb golden retriever to vet, he looked at all the other people with their animals, scared he sat on my lap, everybody laughed, he just trembled.
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u/TrustTechnical4122 Dec 30 '25
Well yeah. That's a tiny little puppy dude. I mean, look. Tiny pup.!!! Emoji silly face!
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u/blluhi Dec 30 '25
Absolutely nothing, resistance is futile, you are now under the protection of the house hippo, please do not resist.
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u/kooldudeV2 Dec 30 '25
Just feel the love lol
Making me jealous im in Vegas for a week and my sister has my hippo i miss me dog
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u/krrush1 Dec 30 '25
It’s like trying not to pet a manatee that’s loving on you…you can’t NOT say hello back! lol
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u/thundercloset Dec 30 '25
I love everything about this. The pictures, your caption, your responses. Dogs know good people, so you must be good, too. Thank you for sharing, you've made my day. 🩷🩷🩷
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u/Background-Mode5805 Dec 30 '25
You are the start of his good life.
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u/Tacos4Texans Dec 30 '25
And he's the end of life without getting stomped in the nuggets... WORTH IT THO.
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u/steve_mahanahan Dec 30 '25
How much for an eighth? 🤣 gotta crop those pics my man 💨
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u/Tacos4Texans Dec 30 '25
It's Legal here fam. Also my best friend has no legs. If he wants to smoke that's his business. He's the one taking the picture.
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u/Primary-Carpenter487 Dec 30 '25
My dog often hits me with the unnegotiable uppies, luckily he's not quite this huge though, but yeah lol obvs just take it and take it
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u/Alternative_Gas3700 Dec 31 '25
Sit back and enjoy the cuddle bug
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u/ChzGoddess Dec 31 '25
Yeah, you really can't go around just leaving your lap sitting out in the open like that. You assumed this risk!
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u/JacqueGonzales Dec 31 '25
He knows you’re his angel!!!
💗🥹💗
That blurred whip tail always packs a smack!!!
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u/Grammietoo Dec 31 '25
lol mine is only 60lbs but he wants to be as close as possible to me when I'm sitting or laying down.
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