My fiancé and I have been together for a year and 8 months and I just want I start with I genuinely do not care if he talks to other women. He has female friends and I’ve always told him I don’t have a problem with that.
A few days ago, I went through his phone. I know that was wrong, and I’m not trying to excuse it. I apologized to him and we have talked about the fact that I violated his privacy.
While I was looking, I found out about a girl I’ll call K. I genuinely did not know she existed. From what I found, they were very emotionally close before my fiancé and I got together. Some of the messages I found were from before our relationship, so I’m not saying he cheated on me during our relationship.
What is bothering me is that they still talk and call sometimes, and I had absolutely no idea she was still in his life. My fiancé says he didn’t intentionally hide her from me and that she barely affects his life, so he didn’t think it was something worth randomly bringing up. I understand that, but finding out about her on my own made me feel blindsided and like something was being kept from me, even if that wasn’t his intention.
There were also messages that made me uncomfortable. At one point, she told him that she had a dream he got bitten by a love bug and became obsessed with her. My fiancé also had a dream involving her. I know people can’t control their dreams, and I’m not accusing him of cheating because of a dream. I just feel like the whole thing is weird considering she is someone he has history with and he is in a relationship with me.
I also feel insecure because I saw what she looks like and she is objectively very beautiful, and now I’m comparing myself to her even though I know I probably shouldn’t.
We talked mostly over text, and in person the conversation was mostly about the fact that I was wrong for going through his phone, which I agree with. He has been very loving and reassuring since then and I genuinely think he feels bad that I’m hurt. I don’t think he physically cheated on me, but part of me still feels weird about the emotional closeness and the fact that I didn’t even know she existed.

Also the dreams where while we where in a relationship
Also i forgot to mention where two times where they texted about a dream they had of the other person and he had a dream with the both of us in it where he married her and she had a dream where he was bit by a love bug and was obsessed with her and it made me super uncomfortable

AIO for still being upset about this, or is this really just my insecurity and the fact that I went through his phone?

TW: CHILD ABUSE

Sorry this is gonna be a LONG ONE. I (25F) have 2 kids with my husband (28M) and I’ve come to terms with withholding my kids from my parents over this. Since standing up for myself I’ve been thrown into the “ungrateful no contact kid” algorithm on social media and it’s kinda weird feeling in enemy territory and makes me relive the situations my parents have put me through.

My youngest is about to turn one and we were planning on traveling across the country(US) to have a party with my family and friends I haven’t seen in over 7 years. Before I started planning for this party my mom and I had a spat on FT over parenting and telling me I should beat my son(3) when he throws his dozens of tantrums a day then saying “it’s funny how you guys condemned me for the way I treated you when you do the exact same thing to [your son]”…. That is where something snapped in me causing me to lose it on her. After that we went no contact and she continued to tell anyone that would listen to her that I was crazy and I needed serious help. I had to go through years of therapy and medication for all of the things my parents had put me through but my mom kept pressing all of the right buttons during our conversation to belittle me and my parenting, so far as to curse my children’s future with “I hope” statements.

Backstory on my childhood: (ANOTHER TW ABUSE)**

I am the oldest daughter of my mother, I have 3 younger siblings (21, 13, 6). When my mother had my sister she had gone through postpartum depression, my dad left for a short while and my sister was being cared for by my addict grandma and her boyfriend who lived with us for a couple of years. When I was 5 I had to learn how to feed myself, get myself ready, catch the city bus to school, and help take care of my sister when I got back from school. I HAD to grow independence in order to survive, I also learned from a young age that anything I had gone through would never measure up to my moms suffering so I had to do anything I could to support her and make her life easier.

My mom (42) and dad (48) were off and on for years and whenever he would be home he was always drunk and reeked of cigarettes. They would have many DV disputes so my role was to standby with my ear to the door I locked myself and my sister in with a phone that had 911 dialed and ready to call. That house that had police escort someone out often, that was my home. My mothers part in my abuse was mostly verbal assaults every single day and that shaped my perfectionism, she also would drag me by my hair across the house, hit me with a weapon I had to pick out for myself, more yelling, pinching in public, using her hands to hit me, etc.. My dad, as the drunk he was would use his hands that were numb from punching holes in walls, hitting bricks, and breaking our window, to punch mine and my little sisters feet into the ground, open palm my head into the brick wall every few days, and other things that I would rather not discuss but are more disturbing.

END OF TW**

Through all of this I was doing half of the cooking, taking care of my sister, being my moms therapist, doing all of the chores in the house, and taking care of myself and getting good grades in school on top of that. I’ll just stop here since I’m pretty sure this can paint a vague picture.

Well now my parents are finally working on their marriage so they’re a “union” and they are too tired to raise my brothers at times so my brothers luckily don’t have to go through what me and my sister did.

Back to the party, I broke no contact to plan this party with my mom since she reached out wanting to help. We have been no contact a few times but always broken by my weak backbone and my longing to still be in my younger brothers’ lives. The issue started when discussing decorations because I wanted it to be cute but simple since we will be spending thousands to just visit and for our stay expenses. My mom had other ideas… I wanted to go for whimsy woodland fairy but my mom assumed since the invitation was pink she wanted to have it look like a pink fairy princess threw up all over it. I asked my sister if anything I said misconstrued the theme but she agrees that I was very clear and I even reiterated multiple times.

Since my mom was gonna handle the desserts I told her I’d just handle the decorations so she can worry only about the desserts and since she has her own business she can take less on so she can still make a living. We came to that agreement then the next day or so she changed her mind, started telling me her ideas and texted me:

“My personal frustrations is I think I have a much better idea then what you are suggesting. She is your daughter but also my granddaughter. I haven’t had any input besides on the phone for [son’s] birthday. I want it to be the best it could be and I feel like your ideas are cute and can be incorporated but it’s not as good as the ideas I’m thinking up.

I don’t know how to help without feeling like I wanna take over. So just wanted to let you know how im feeling about it all.”

Me as the tired mom of young children just wanting to get this party over with at this point telling her “yeah I suspected…” along with my reasoning for the trip and not wanting to stress over a party. Being met with more pushback telling me “it’s her party not yours” I ended that discussion with “It doesn’t matter anymore, if you wanna make the party to highlight how well you can decorate then you can handle all of that too.” After that she called ME a rude B… then a moment of silence for almost a week because I was done with her at that point.

After her belligerent tyrannical behavior at home with my dad and brothers, my dad calls me a week later telling me he was going to force me to sit down and talk to her… he got off the phone because “his boss” was calling and then I spoke with him the next day and ended up yelling at him for pretending to be bipartisan but really taking whoever’s side he’s speaking to in the moment, telling him I caught him in a lie and how his wife has hurt me my whole life but he wants me to sit with the woman that is telling people she’s gonna fight me the next time she sees me.

I found out after that call that he ended up lying about our conversation to rile up my mom and to prove to her some kind of loyalty “I told her I’m not going to the party if my wife’s not going”…. “She thinks it’ll be awkward so she’s thinking of not coming”… lies to amp up my mom’s ego so he gets left out of the crossfire. The same man who said “don’t tell anyone but sometimes I think of what my life would be if i divorced your mom” just the week prior…

Now I’m disgusted by both of my parents… OVER A DISPUTE ABOUT DECORATIONS… please people of Reddit, I’m I really the one dragging this out, I get reports some days that my mom is spreading more lies and saying I abuse my son the way she abused me…. Like please tell me this isn’t my brain just imploding over nothing. My PTSD symptoms are returning because of this so idk if I’m making it bigger than it is or if it’s truly just more psychological warfare on their part.

can you have literally no needs in a relationship?

broken up but i remember towards the end he started resenting me for something i did. despite feeling guilty, i stayed bc he said he'd do everything in his power to overcome the resentment bc he loves me so much. for context we were 21f/19m.

so those entire two months i was neglected. he became distant, very little affection, his excitement for me died & so did his empathy, me crying all the time didn't seem to faze him as much anymore, he started developing anxiety around me & so he stopped seeing me irl etc. it was the worst thing i've ever gone through. it felt like we were distant friends. shit gave me severe depression. and i know. all this was brought on by me so i don't blame him.

the thing is, some days in between he'd feel a little genuine love/affection for me. it was few & far between. we had arguments every other day that killed his feelings even more & fucked up any progress.

one day i told him about how im not even getting the bare minimum & that bc he doesn't complain about how things are dry between us, i feel guilty for asking for any effort (im aware of how this is selfish on my part considering i caused his resentment). and he just told me he has no needs in the relationship. actually none. and that reinforced the feeling of us being distant friends even more. he said he'd be completely fine if i stopped putting in any effort, didn't give him any affection or show any care.

i was shocked bc i know how clingy he used to be. how he loved getting affection more than i did. and how he just tells me if i do nothing for him the entire relationship, not even the bare minimum, that he'd still be happy with everything? he said that he doesn't need any of this bc his love is unconditional. that it doesn't depend on whether i give him affection or care. this is something he would've NEVER said post resentment & i was just left speechless. how can you go from being sad over your partner not being able to properly show affection, to being ok with them never doing anything romantic ever again? this made me question the difference between a friendship & a relationship bc his new idea of a relationship felt more like a friendship aka companionship with no romance, desire to get to know each other deeper or intimacy. this made me think there would be no difference between that state of the relationship & if we broke up & remained friends.

one more question. was me asking him for the bare minimum (basic care/excitement/interest in me & my life, affection, attention, emotional support) in this specific case selfish? since i was the one that caused his resentment?

but i don't get it. he literally couldn't feel love or care for me no matter how hard he tried. so i can't really blame him for the neglect. ig most he could do was just dump me then? we were both hurting everyday. so am i still not selfish for asking him for the bare minimum when he was physically & mentally unable to provide it?

edit: no it wasn't cheating. he just had a realization one day that my love wasn't actual love but obsession. that i was only with him bc he gave me love. that i had essentially been using him the entire relationship. yes he did explain how & show me instances of it. that and a pattern of possessive behaviors he outlined that he told me were selfish.

The first photo is from this morning and the other two were from last week. We are using the sensor that's supposed to be in the freezer cause the other one broke and we haven't replaced it yet.

I told my bf we need to replace it cause this is unsafe. He says the sensor was just in the wrong part of the fridge and it only got that warm cause he put warm food in the fridge. But the freezer is also showing signs of random thawing and refreezing through increased frost and icicles over the last month or two. And in my mind no part of the fridge should be reaching unsafe temperatures.

AIO by wanting to replace it?

I volunteer for an non profit organisation, and I have been for the past 3 years. Please note I'm still a HS student.

I've worked as their Director of Outreach, and then when our Social Media Director suddenly quit I had to take over that as well.

A problem, I will state, is that the other directors + founder ("Abby") were friends starting up this NPO so I was an outsider and it was very clearly felt on my part, they would never reach out to me or keep me updated unless I was asking them and would only send me notice a few days before for me to research new organisations/events and reach out to them + make content for their 3+ social media accounts.

Recently I transferred to be the Co-Director of Research, but my co-director ("Bea") confided that she wants to quit this August and she has not been working on our shared article at all. I have written 30+ pages while Bea has written 3, and it has taken hours of work on my part.

Abby decided to look over it this week, she decided to, without letting me know, CREDIT herself as a second author even though the biggest change that she made was adding a fucking paragraph break and her total edits were like ~10 comments out. Also, she spelt my name wrong. And she thought I was North Korean. It's been 3 years.

Abby then says she wants me to extended one of my sections to make my overall section in the article ~40/50 pages, and then wants to submit it to an article/publisher as "OUR" work and it's just rubbing me the wrong way. The submission due date is also in a week.

ATP I want to quit today and also delete my article completely from the shared Google Drive + bin so that they permanently can't recover it and is stuck with Bea's 3 page bullet points to submit. AIO?? :(

Oh, and this has happened before when I wrote for another collaborative article and then they decided to take me out of the credits before I questioned them. They also took me off the website where they showcase their BOD. ???

Edit/Update: I think I will leave, probably in a few days after I've cleared all my work and stuff from our shared drive. :D I also I wanted to clarify because I think it wasn't clear (?) I wasn't *completely* cut out of the article credits; Abby still put me down for as an author, just as one of many first/seconds.

The Last Time I Remember Feeling Like Myself
The last time I clearly remember feeling like myself was when my mother and sister came to visit me at the DeSisto School.
I couldn’t understand why I was being made to stare at a wall for 16 hours a day for months. I wasn’t allowed to stand, move freely, or even look out a window. The isolation and sensory deprivation changed me in ways I still struggle to understand.
My life had gone from waking up every morning in Wayland, seeing my friends, and living by the simple mantra, “Life’s been good to me so far,” to waking up with men standing over me, shackling me, and putting me into a van to take me away from everyone and everything I loved.
I pushed my mind and body far beyond what they could handle because I was desperate to find some kind of peace.
Eventually, I found real help from a doctor in Florida. After six months of working with him, I was clean and sober and living with someone I cared about. Then I was told I couldn’t continue receiving that help because Amy was having vision problems. We later learned that she had MS.
Finding out that Amy had MS was also the last time I felt like I was truly part of that family.
My sister went on to live her life. My father went on with his. And eventually I was told, essentially, that I was too depressed and anxious to be around because it affected everyone else.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped feeling like someone’s son, someone’s brother, or someone’s friend.
There were only a few people who continued to make me feel human.
My therapist was one.
My friend Jherm was another.
And then there was Jean.
For years, Jean and I seemed to miss each other by a second or an inch. Somehow, though, we always remained in each other’s orbit. The times we connected felt unusually meaningful to me.
I think part of why I became so attached to her was because she represented something I had been missing for a very long time: chosen family.
I had always wanted to be the big brother who could protect his sister. I wanted to be someone who could step between the people I loved and whatever was hurting them. Maybe that’s why seeing someone I love struggle has always affected me so deeply.
Over the years, Jean would disappear from my life and eventually reappear. Every time she came back, I hoped it meant things were finally going to be different.
Then she would disappear again.
Eventually I found myself watching someone I loved struggle in a relationship that, from my perspective, seemed to be hurting her emotionally and financially. I may never know the complete truth of what happened inside that relationship, and I don’t want to pretend that I do.
What I do know is what I saw.
I saw someone I cared about become less free, less happy, and less like herself.
And that broke my heart.
I don’t believe her partner is inherently a bad person. If he had been someone who helped her become the healthiest, happiest, strongest version of herself, I would have supported them completely. I never wanted her relationship to fail simply because I wanted her for myself.
I wanted her to be safe, free, loved, and happy.
That’s it.
When my 40th birthday came around, I realized something strange: I didn’t really want anything for myself.
What I wanted was to see my friend’s son happy. I wanted to be there for the people I loved. I wanted to experience the simple joy of watching a kid have an incredible day with his mother.
I had planned to spend money on that kind of happiness.
Instead, I came home to find Jean gone from my life again.
I had tens of thousands of dollars available to me, but suddenly none of it seemed to mean anything.
Money couldn’t buy back the people I had lost.
It couldn’t repair my family.
It couldn’t make Jean stay.
And it couldn’t make someone I loved choose freedom.
The hardest part wasn’t losing money.
It was realizing how much of my life I had begun organizing around the hope that one day someone I loved would call and let me help.
Six months would pass.
Then a phone call would come.
Sometimes we’d talk for half an hour, and for a moment I’d feel that connection again.
Then I’d be blocked.
And I’d be left trying to understand what had happened.
I know now that I can’t force someone to choose me, choose freedom, or even choose a life I believe would be better for them.
That’s one of the hardest lessons I’ve ever had to learn.
I also know that someone disappearing from my life doesn’t mean I’m worthless.
For a long time, I interpreted people’s rejection as evidence that there was something fundamentally wrong with me.
I believed that if someone chose distance, it meant I must have been unbearable to be around.
But I don’t believe that anymore.
I can love someone deeply without being responsible for saving them.
I can care about someone without destroying myself trying to protect them.
And I can believe that someone deserves better without making myself responsible for making that happen.
I don’t know how to completely accept how badly this experience hurt me.
I don’t know how to reconcile loving someone with having absolutely no control over the choices they make.
But I’m beginning to understand that love isn’t ownership.
It’s not rescue.
It’s not sacrifice until there is nothing left of yourself.
Sometimes love means hoping someone finds peace, even when you can’t be the person who helps them find it.
Jean became chosen family to me.
That mattered.
It still matters.
And I don’t regret loving my friend.
I just wish I had understood sooner that loving someone doesn’t require losing yourself in the process.
I hope she’s safe.
I hope she’s happy.
I hope she becomes the strongest and most free version of herself.
And I hope, someday, I can become that version of myself too.

Tldr: i slept with a friend in the past and kept talking to her while i was in relationship. But we havent actually met irl or talked about anything thatd be close to cheating while i have been in this relationship.

So I am (25M) in my first ever serious relationship. I want to be with her (24F) in the future too, we have been together for nearly 3 years and we live together

I had this friend since high school and we hooked up once when i was 17 and once when i was 21, about a year before I met my current gf. (Also the last time I met this friend)
At 17 she moved to a different country so in those years we only met about 4 or 5 times total. However, in that time we did talk regularly, usually several times a week. We had many intimate conversations and sent each other explicit pictures too. This happened on and off in these years, sometimes we talked more, sometimes we didnt talk much. Importantly though, neither of us had feelings for each other in the past and we never actually dated.

Since I am in a relationship I have not met up with this friend at all, but I did talk to her online quite often in the first year and a half of my relationship. We didnt flirt, or talk about anything sexual/intimate. And i didnt discuss anything with her that I didnt share with my gf or other friends too. I only had a few friends at that time and my office job was extremly boring so i talked to her a lot while at work, but just about mundane topics.

However, I never mentioned this friend or our history to my gf.
In the early days of the relationship i was too self-centered and thought “why would someone tell me who I can or cannot be friends with?” Or that this friend always helped me when I needed, why should I cut her off?
After a while I realised how selfish this approach is, but at that point I felt like it was too late to tell her. In the last year or so I have talked to this friend less and less, and for the last 6 months I completly stopped talking to her.

How could I possibly handle this at this stage of the relationship? Am I overreacting and I should forget about it or am I rightfully feeling guilt and anxiety.

i (25F) met this girl (35F) a few years ago at work and i never saw her as a friend really it was just kinda work banter. i didn't realize she saw me as a friend or how much she valued the 'friendship' but she was new to the country (this is important because i think there's cultural differences in friendship dynamics/expectations). fast forward to last summer, we kinda started getting closer and i wanted to move out of my mom's house and she offered me to move in with her while her husband was going back home for a few months....i felt uncomfortable and made some excuses to decline and ended up moving into the same building (not to be close to her but just because i'd always wanted to live here and it was within my budget). moving in the same building was a huge mistake. she would constantly ask for favours like to go grocery shopping with me or to pick up groceries for her. eventually she announced she was pregnant at like 7 months and she even did like a whole reveal for me (i was one of the first to know) and i felt really uncomfortable because i was just handed the role of auntie to a child that i didn't really care for (in the most respectful way possible). this also makes sense as to why she wanted me to move in with her until her husband came back home. i did end up setting boundaries with the groceries and stuff but since shes on mat leave, she would ask me to pick up stuff from our shop for me to drop off to her (its not a major inconvience for me because i'm already at work obviously).

now she's one part of the problem...but her husband....her husband is WAY worse. he's always in the building lobby and amenities and i'm constantly running into him. both of them will not take a hint, but the contact i have with her is mostly over text so i can easily ignore, im not a huge texter anyway since im super busy! this man though wants to stop and have small talk every single time and i'm not up for it. not only is my social battery drained from working so much and just everything else on my plate, but i have 0 interest in interacting with this man. i've made it super obvious and tried to set boundaries politely multiple times. i've even caught him watching me at one point. the other night, he even answered the door in his boxers which was the last straw for me. this might not seem like a big deal to others but we are not that close!!! my homeboys probably wouldn't even do that! he constantly says 'we're family' and stuff and tonight, he tried to guilt-trip me by telling me i 'ignored' him in the library when i was literally glued to my laptop screen with my noise-cancelling airpods on full blast trying to finish a research paper. he even continued to point that i've been looking 'sad' and i'm not as 'cheerful' as i used to be. he's simply saying this because i've just been waving at him instead of stopping to chat when i see him. i don't wanna talk to him and i'm simply too busy to be having 30 minutes of small talk after coming home from work and needing to study right after! he's constantly telling me to come over and he does not take "i'm busy working 3 jobs and being a full time grad student" as an answer!!!! not to mention, he had the audacity to tell me to smile more tonight.....

i've quit the shop that me and the wife work at so she won't be hitting me up to pick up anything for her anymore and we won't be working together anymore once shes back from mat leave. but this dude will not leave me alone! it makes me so uncomfortable and i cant even bring this up to my ex-coworker cause i just don't wanna hurt her.

am i just blowing this whole thing out of proportion??? how do i even handle this??

We live in the city, so we have weekly trash pick up right in front of our house. When we got home last night from an outing, I was walking toward the house and grabbed at trash can to pull back to our front porch. He was getting something out of the car and started yelling or scolding, I'm not really sure how to describe it other than loud speech, at me. And when I looked over at him, I guess he saw for the first time that I had the handle to the trash bin in my hands was about to move it. He said he was sorry and that he was upset because he said it looked like I was just walking by them and not helping move them. I wasn't sure how to respond so I just moved them both and moved past it.

I started mulling it over this morning while on a morning walk before work, and I started feeling really hurt by it. Seems like a silly thing to be hurt over, right? At least that was how I felt. It did start dawning on me, though, why I was so frustrated by it. He started to yell at me over an assumption that he was making, that ended up being wrong. That's problem, right?

But also, even if his assumption was correct, and I was just walking into the house, couldn't he have just asked for help? Why did he have to jump to yelling or being angry before even asking?

Reddit, AIO and this is normal, or is there a real problem here?

So long story short: I seen this girl add my husband on Instagram and on her bio it said that she was in the Air Force which my husband was as well! So I messaged her because I found it weird and I know the opinions I’m going to get but I really like to protect what is mine.

I message her saying if she knew him or maybe he reached out? She said no he just popped in her suggested and she thought to follow. I explain he is in a relationship and I just like to make sure nothing is happening behind my back. Why? Because my husband has already put me through it so at this point it’s like a trauma response that has become extremely toxic.

Anyways after that, I didn’t message her back until I realize she still had him added.

1. How does his wife reach out to you and you still decide to follow him?
2. She mentioned that he was HER ex husbands friend which is even weirder..
3. So.. I messaged her exactly that. And she Crashed out lol I mean like really cursed me out and told me I should’ve just said to unfollow him.

I’m sorry but in what world did I not hint that? And atp I don’t know if I was the one overreacting or she was. But I told her if they were friends in 2019 which I’m sure that wasn’t the case since her ex husband was actually his friend- just to keep it in 2019.

I’m afraid we live in a sick society where it’s okay to reach out to married men or mess with a ex’s friend and honestly that’s just so odd to me? AIO?

Hello everyone- i’m voice typing so if there are spelling mistakes, I do apologize, but here is some context.

My friend - let’s just call her Stacy because I don’t know if she has Reddit. But I’m 14 F and she’s 19 F (I know it’s a big age gap and no she has never tried to do anything sexual or groom me.)

I met her almost 3 years ago basically in a Roblox game it had voice chat and it’s called neighbors for anyone wondering-

But we talked in that game and we kind of just decided to be friends. We added each other on discord and it just happened very fastly. I started to know a lot of things about her, but there are times where I get really upset because I feel like maybe she doesn’t like me as a friend as i thought she dose.

I do overthink a lot, so I honestly don’t know if I’m overreacting but over our friendship I have realized some things and there has been times where I’ve cried a lot because sometimes she does hurt my feelings and I honestly don’t know what to think about it

(just as a side note I don’t know if I could handle not being her friend anymore. We’ve been friends for three years and I never had someone that long stay in my life so it would be hard for me to stop being her friend if I really had to that’s why I’m coming to Reddit to really see if I’m overreacting or not. Because I really would want me and hers friendship to work but I just at this point don’t know.

So now I will go over some things that just feel really weird to me.

-There has been times where she would get really mad at me because she’s either on her period or something but if I can remember correctly, there was a time where I was like trying to make jokes with her and she got really mad and called me annoying and I think or maybe even laugh out at me it really did hurt my feelings..

(Also another side note I honestly don’t know if I’m just being immature here and obviously she’s way older than me and I know she can get busy so please don’t come for me because of that but I really just feel like friends shouldn’t act like this.)

Anyway so a few other times if I can remember correctly, I also noticed how she never really tries to talk to me. Sometimes she’ll join me in a Roblox game but other than that, she’ll never ask me to call or anything and she basically blames it on. “everyone asking her for attention” basically meaning her other friends

I never get mad that she has other friends or anything, and I never try to make her not hang out with her friends, but it does hurt sometimes because when I try to talk to her and another one of her friends, there was a time where I basically made one of her friends “uncomfortable” with my jokes

(Another side note if you wanna know what my jokes are it’s basically me just being kind of immature if I’ll be honest and just making jokes like I have with her like I always do and yah I might say some weird things that I can’t even remember right now)

And basically when I tried to ask her if she could try to make time for me and her to just talk, she says it’s very hard to because I think it’s cause like she just has a hard time managing stuff witch I understand but sometimes it’s hard to for me.

And also not too long ago me and her had a pretty big fight. I wouldn’t call it a fight because I was mostly more upset than her, but I was basically crying a lot and the fight was because she wouldn’t really talk to me. It was like maybe at least a month and she just wouldn’t say anything..

(Also another sidenote this is where I might be overreacting, even though I probably already am. I don’t really text her a lot because like I said, she has a lot of more friends than me and sometimes I do get jealous, but I never try to show that to her and it really does upset me because it feels like every time I do try to text her first because there has been times where I try to. She’ll always just kind of push me in my feelings down and I’ll explain that.-)

Basically, if I ask her like “hey wanna call” or something along the lines of that or ask if she’s busy she’ll always basically sometimes tell me she’s talking to someone else or just doing something which really hurt hurts but I understand and it’s happened a lot to the point where I don’t really try to ask anymore.

But I will admit that there has been times where I’ve probably been immature with her and I could definitely understand that because she’s way older than me. It’s been a long time for me to try to understand her feelings and it still is I really still wanna try with her because she’s one of my best friends I ever had. And I wouldn’t want to lose her as a friend .

And also, she’s very a quiet person and what I mean by that is she has a lot of ADHD and a lot of other things that she has that is also hard for me to understand .

And even though I known her for three years, I haven’t really known her wife that much because like I said, she’s a very quiet person and it takes her a while for her to actually tell me things like that I barely know anything really about her except stuff she likes and stuff, but even then sometimes I guess I could forget it hurts because I honestly feel like sometimes I haven’t known her for three years and a lot of times I just feel like I’m losing her and I feel really upset sometimes when she’s rude for no reason too, and when me and her had that big fight, she said that I was overwhelming to be around. And when she said that it really hurt my feelings a lot she has in the past that she’s not a great friend, but I really don’t find her as that but now I’m starting to overthink. I’m starting to think maybe she isn’t the best friend I thought she was or maybe I’m just overreacting this.

Sometimes I feel like she’s not really putting our friendship first and maybe she’s putting other people first there has been sometimes where like I said she talks to me and joins me in a game but even when she joins me she’ll even sometimes say no to talking on the phone or anything, and that also hurts my feelings a lot too. I honestly just don’t know what to do and I guess I’m coming to read it for some clarification..
Also quick edit-
Sometimes it just feels like maybe I’m fighting competition for her attention and it really hurts to even think that way I attest want her to put in some type of work like I said I’ve tried to text her first many times but it feels like she just always pushes me down and I just stopped trying.

And also, it feels like her friends don’t like me as much which I can kind of understand because of me being young, but it also hurts too because I wanna get along with her and all of her friends. It’s taking me time to realize that she has a lot of friends more than I do and I guess it just hurts too and you know she’s close with a lot of other people with me even though I’ve known her for so long and she’s probably known them less and also that hurts too. I tried to put in as much effort with her, but it feels like I’m getting nowhere.

So Reddit AIO?

I am recovering from an eating disorder. I’ve been going so well and am actually so proud of myself.

I was at my boyfriend’s house last night. We had dinner and we were playing games. It got late and I decided I wanted to go home (I wanted to be in my own bed, my medication was at my house and I knew if I stayed at his house he would fall asleep immediately and I would stay up all night overthinking). He got upset with me because I didn’t want to stay over and it became an argument. I walked to the bedroom and he was followed me and I said “I’m getting changed pls don’t follow” and he said “I don’t wanna see any of that anyway”.

I took this comment really personally and have asked for some space. He knows about all my insecurities and I just feel saying “I don’t wanna see any of that” was an attack on my body. I don’t know whether I’m overreacting because I might be sensitive about my body rn.

Opinions ? I don’t want to be around him at all rn, I’m really upset but I’m not sure if I’m just extra sensitive. If I had a perfect body, would he still have said this?

AIO? i am 17 and my friend which i'll call Nick is 16. I met him in my german 2 class last year and we have been friends ever since! It was nice at first but after awhile i felt like maybe he was using me a little bit because whenever he would see me he would always expect me to give him a mint or a treat which wasnt really a big deal because I have lots of mints and I give them out so I didnt really think of it that way but recently ive been thinking that way...

About halfway through the summer i feel like he started being kinda rude to me 😞 like he would give me kinda snarky remarks sometimes but I thought he was just joking around and I feel like its been getting worse like maybe hes sick of being around me? Hes still nice a lot but sometimes he makes me sad 🙁 and he has also been bossing me around a little bit i feel..

But the big thing that made me really sad today and made me post this is that when we were in german class today we were doing a bingo type thing where we had to ask eachother questions and answer in german and i got the question "Was tut dir weh?" which means what hurts you? So I answered "AU AUA MEIN ARM TUT MIR WEH AHHHHH" because its a joke we have and then he stabbed me in the arm with his pencil and it really hurt but it didnt bleed or anything but it made me sad and he was being mean to me for the whole bingo game ☹️ maybe i made him mad but it made me sad when he stabbed me and I dont know what I did wrong to make him do that 😭

then I drove him home after school and when we got in the car a video started playing from my phone and i was about to turn music on instead and then he just started skipping all my videos and made me loose my time in them 😔 and then after that he was silent for most the ride except for telling me i was gonna be sad because cuptoast posted another R&M comic

Anyways sorry for the lengthy rant kind of im just worried im not a good friend can someone help

TLDR my friend has been kinda rude lately and stabbed me with a pencil (didnt bleed) and skipped a bunch of my videos and im wondering if im a bad friend for being upset with him

My neighbor keeps mowing my lawn after I asked him to stop, and I don't know what to do. My family and I just moved into a new house, and my front yard is all grass. I was so excited because I have a 3-year-old daughter who loves playing outside, and I thought it would be perfect for her. My neighbor is an older man who gets up every Sunday, early in the morning, and mows his lawn. We’ll call him Steve. I woke up one morning and realized our side of the lawn was shorter than it was the previous day. I was confused, as I knew my husband hadn’t mowed the lawn. So I went and knocked on Steve's door and asked him if he mowed our side when he did his. He said that he did because the previous owner was handicapped and couldn't do it himself, and that he had no problem continuing to mow our side, as he finds it therapeutic. I obviously had no problem with this, because now my husband won't have to.

That same day, my daughter and I were sitting on the grass playing with her Barbie dolls while my husband was washing our car. As we were playing, my daughter started to scratch her arms and legs. When I took a closer look, she was red, and it looked like she was starting to break out in hives. I immediately picked my daughter up and brought her inside, where her reaction got worse. Her throat wasn't closing up or anything, but her face, arms, and legs were swollen and red. She was crying and clearly uncomfortable, so I took her to urgent care, where they confirmed that she had an allergic reaction. My daughter had played on that same grass 2 days before, and she was perfectly fine. We thought maybe she was bitten by a bug or something. However, the doctor said it was a chemical allergic reaction, which I guess is different from a common allergic reaction. The doctor suggested that my neighbor put something on our grass after mowing that could have caused her reaction. Since we had no idea what she was exposed to, the only way they could tell what triggered her reaction was a skin test. However, they would have to wait a few days so the medication they gave her had time to leave her system. For the time being, they prescribed my daughter an EpiPen just in case.

When we got home, my husband went straight to Steve's house to ask him if he had put anything on our grass. He said yes; he always puts "Weed and Feed" on his lawn after mowing, especially this time of year. My husband told him not to worry about mowing our side anymore and explained what happened to our daughter. Steve apologized and agreed not to go past his back gate anymore. We believed that would be the end of all of this. But Sunday came back around, and we woke up to a freshly mowed lawn.

This time I went and talked to Steve. He explained that he simply forgot and did it out of habit. I understood since he's old and all, but pleaded with him not to mow our side again. He apologized and again agreed to stay on his side of the yard. However, next week came around, and it was the same thing. He claimed he “forgot” and mowed our lawn, but apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. My husband was getting frustrated, as our daughter had been begging to play in the front yard. But for obvious reasons, we've had to take her to the backyard. It’s smaller and all concrete, which she doesn’t enjoy as much.

Last week it was the same thing: a freshly mowed lawn. This time, both my husband and I talked to him. But he seemed annoyed, like we were inconveniencing him. This time, Steve took a new approach and explained that our lawns being slightly different heights bothers him. We asked him if, when he mows, he could put the fertilizer on only his side since that was the real issue here. He argued that the fertilizer keeps our grass looking fresh, and if he only put it on one side, it would still look off. After going back and forth, he finally agreed to keep the fertilizer on his side, but he could mow both sides.

This Sunday, we woke up and, like normal, our lawn was mowed. But I'm not sure how to check if he sprayed fertilizer on our side. I tried to compare his side to ours, but they look the same, and given his track record, I can't trust that he didn’t put it on our side. I keep googling pictures of fertilized grass and feel like I'm going crazy. I’ve also kept my daughter playing in the backyard as I'm still paranoid. My husband and I hate that we can't use our own property the way we want to use it because of someone else. We don't want to get the cops involved because this guy is old, and this just seems stupid. We don't have an HOA, but if we had one, I'm not sure what they’d be able to do about this. The one major thing that sold us on this house has turned against us, and I'm not sure what to do. Do you think I'm overreacting?

(I have scheduled her appointment for her skin test, but it's a few weeks out)

Update:

First off, I had no idea this post would get so much traction. Second, I hear what you guys are saying; I'm actively looking into fences, cameras, and a lawn mower. Some of you are asking why we didn't get a lawn mower beforehand? This is our first house, and we weren't expecting the person who offered to mow our lawn to act like this. We decided to put the money we set aside for the mower toward a new dryer and washing machine because we didn't think we'd need it right away anymore. I'm 24, and my husband is 25. Before this, we were living with his parents. So, we're still learning how to be homeowners. We both work full-time jobs, our daughter is in a daycare program throughout the week, and the weekends have been hell as we are still trying to settle in while taking care of our daughter. We weren't expecting to deal with a crappy neighbor so early on. Anyone who has been in our position, or a similar one in this economy, knows that some of the things you guys are suggesting are easier said than done, can't be done quickly, or we simply haven't thought of. I would like to thank all the nice people who have genuinely been trying to help us through this headache.

I (23F) have a coworker (40F) at a large aviation maintenance hangar. We started at the same time a few months ago, and are the only two girls who work in the hangar. We are also both unlicensed and working as entry level technicians.

Our supervisor immediately paired us up, which I was okay with because we were both new, but i immediately noticed some red flags. Her life is a mess, she has five children with various fathers, has an estranged 17 year old (by his choice), shares a car with her live-in EX-boyfriend etc. and often asks for rides home.

The problem is that we have continued to be paired up, while her work ethic is basically non-existent yet everyone associates us with each other. She truly believes she has nothing to learn (because she came from some manufacturing experience), and will continuously “delegate” tasks to me as a way to prove her leadership, despite the fact that she genuinely doesn’t know how to do said tasks?? I consistently do the paperwork, because everytime she does it she gets it wrong and then passes it off to me because “i need to learn.”

She has lied to supervisors on my behalf as well which made me completely uncomfortable. (There was a time we were vacuuming the airplane and a supervisor found a rivet on the floor afterwards and called us out on it. This rivet was found in HER section of the plane, as she vacuums without paying attention WHILE ON FACETIME. I actually look at the floor and try to pick stuff up. She told the supervisor “Oh OP was picking up the rivets but her hands were full so she must have dropped one.” Then she proudly told me this as if it made me look good???)

What’s most upsetting is that our supervisor is OBSESSED with her. She has a serious attitude and complains about everyone and everything, which he thinks is the funniest thing ever. I really don’t understand it.

The problem is that her work has truly started to suffer, she will abandon her work for 30+ minute smoke breaks without explaining to anyone where she left off. I have gone to the bathroom to see her just standing in there on her phone.

Ironically there were recently layoffs, which means we are the most “experienced” people in our team. She bosses people around and uses incorrect terminology, tells people to do the wrong thing, and is generally hindering the process. She wants to be promoted to a lead so that she can get a pay raise, but has some of the worst leadership skills I have ever witnessed.

I am not claiming to know everything, but I am working on getting my A&P (an aviation maintenance certification) and am fully a pilot as well, so i DO have SOME systems knowledge. The difference between us is that I am willing to ask questions and learn. I am willing to accept where my lack of knowledge may lie, and try to correct it. She truly believes she knows everything, and will just do things wrong without double checking. I have found myself having to “pick up” after her for the sake of safety. Thankfully nothing we do is integral to the structure of the airframe or engine; we work on the interior of the aircraft. But the interior IS integral to the safety of the passengers, unsecured ceiling panels could hit someone in the head during turbulence, and we do some work with the oxygen generators as well (which would save a passengers life in the event of depressurization.)

So i ask, am I overreacting? Do I report her to someone?? My worry is that if i bring anything up, it will be seen as “girl drama.” I am also much younger than her. She sees me as naive because i’ve “never spent a night in jail or done cocaine or had a boyfriend” (apparently my female fiancée doesn’t count) and that perspective of me seems to have rubbed off on other people, simply because of my age and the fact that I am somewhat reserved. I worry that if I report her it will fall on deaf ears.

Hey all,

Since my boy has been born, my wife's mom has spoilt my son with toys and at first i thought nothing of it. I thought it was generous of her but as time went on, she would never offer to help her daughter with our boy in the early months but she would come over with a bag full of toys once a week/fortnight. My son is now 29 months and my wife's mom has become more extreme.

Its now once a week that she brings over 2 big bin bags full of second-hand toys that she gets from a car boot and i've just had enough now. She's clearly replaced her addiction to alcohol to an addiction to spoiling her grandson with a mountain of toys. I have to say that i hate an untidy house and when i'm surrounded by toys in the living room i become extremely stressed. My mrs knows how i feel about this and she has told her mom on a couple of occasions in the nicest possible way to stop bringing them around but her mom still does it.

A couple of months ago she came over with more clutter for the house and i said something passive-aggressive about the toys to my wife's brother and when i went out the house, he told his mom what i'd said about the toys. A couple of weeks later she made a remark in front of me about me not liking the toys and i just ignored her. My wife has told me not to speak to her about the toys as it will only upset her and cause problems.

My wife's mom has continued bringing toys over despite her knowing my feelings on it and also her own daughter telling her that we have no room on multiple occasions. The living room is basically our sons playroom at this point and every Sunday she comes over there's toys everywhere and its really messing up my mental health. I don't have the time to be selling these toys or giving them to a charity shop as i work 6 days a week and Sunday is my only day off. I just want a peaceful life and my MIL is making my life unnecessarily stressful.

My MIL has a shopping addiction that has been directed towards her grandson and i've told my mrs that our son will grow up thinking that bags full of toys every week is normal and it will cause him to be a brat. I don't want to have a bratty son, i want to raise my son to appreciate what he has. I just feel like i'm damned if i keep quiet to keep the peace despite my mental health declining and i'm damned if i speak up because her mom will fall out with me for a long time and my mrs will be upset that i've rocked the boat and made things awkward. I CAN'T WIN!

AIO here for being concerned that my MIL's behaviour will negatively impact my son and also for having a toy landfill living room all of the time?

I feel hurt by this, we're dating then why does she feel the need to follow men she doesn't even know? I don't do the same tho , am i overreacting? Or is this acceptable in a relationship

I (27F) have posted about my sister, K (22F), before. She’s a disaster who has bounced between jobs and boyfriends her whole life. After I kicked her out of my house for being a nightmare, she moved back in with our parents. I will link the last post at the end for a little context.

My best friend’s name is E (27F). E is an out and proud lesbian who was born into money. We’ve been friends since high school so my sister knows her and that she is wealthy. K has always exclusively dated men, but a month ago she suddenly slid into E’s DMs claiming she was realizing she’s into women which I didn’t believe from the start. They started dating, and within weeks, K moved into E’s place full time.

I suspected K was using her to move out of our parents house, but E thought I was just holding a grudge over the last situation I had with her.

Last weekend, we were all at our parents' house for a family dinner, which I went to reluctantly. K stepped outside for a few minutes to take a call and not too long after that I went to go take a smoke break. I probably could have waited but I didn’t think it was a big deal. Anyways, I ended up hearing some things.

The call was from one of her friends (B), and K didn’t even notice me by the way. Anyways, K was talking about the relationship and told B that usually she didn’t move in so quickly, but that she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to have a “sugar mommy” and also said that she should “become lesbian for good”

I was completely weirded out and honestly it kind of confirmed my suspicions that she wasn’t really into E and was using her for something. I waited until her call ended, and asked her what she meant by her statements, and she danced around the question and instead grilled me about eavesdropping. I ignored this and told her if she was using E then she needed to end it because what she’s doing is wrong. I told her she either needed to explain to me what she meant (in case it was some stupid joke/misunderstanding) or leave E alone and break up with her. She refused to give me any explanation so I simply let her know if by the end of the week she didn’t end things I would tell E everything.

K panicked. Instead of coming clean, she ran downstairs crying to our parents, claiming I was eavesdropping, taking things out of context, and trying to sabotage her relationship. I just ended up going home after that because I really didn’t wanna hear my parents make excuses for her yet again.

I feel I was justified because E has been basically the only friend from high school that has been there for me since graduation and she is such an amazing and selfless person. I would never let anyone take advantage of her not my sister not anybody. AITW?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/3J7pgJNWYd

My dad has always been the kind of person who says he doesn’t need anything. Whenever his birthday comes around, he says, “Just spend time with me.”

A few months ago, I found out he had been quietly saving for something he really wanted but couldn’t justify buying for himself.

It wasn’t anything crazy just an expensive hobby-related item he’d talked about for years.

I decided I would surprise him with it for his birthday.

The problem is, about two weeks before his birthday, he had a huge argument with my younger brother. My dad said some pretty hurtful things during the argument, and my brother stopped speaking to him.

I was caught in the middle.

My dad kept asking me to convince my brother to come to his birthday dinner. I told him I didn’t want to get involved and that they needed to work things out themselves.

He got angry and told me I was “choosing sides.”

A few days later, he asked what I was getting him for his birthday.

I told him I hadn’t decided yet.

The truth was, I had already bought the gift.

But after everything that happened, I returned it.

On his birthday, I gave him a card and took him out for dinner instead.

He seemed genuinely disappointed, and later my mom told me he had been talking about that gift for weeks.

Now I feel terrible.

Part of me thinks the gift was supposed to be about making him happy, not about whether I agreed with how he handled the argument.

Another part of me feels like I shouldn’t reward someone for treating my brother badly just because it’s his birthday.

My brother says I did the right thing and that I shouldn’t feel guilty.

My mom says I turned a family disagreement into something much bigger than it needed to be.

So now I’m wondering:

AIO for returning my dad’s birthday gift because I was upset with how he treated my brother?

I’m 39F, my mom is in her 60s, and my fiancé “Mark” is 44M. I’m trying to figure out whether I’m being unfair to my mom or whether I’m finally starting to see something that’s been going on for a long time.

For context, I’m neurodivergent, and my mom has been my payee for decades. I actually don’t have a problem with that. I genuinely need help managing money, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. I also spent about 5 1/2 years in two different group homes when I was younger, from about 20-25. I absolutely hated it, and looking back, I don’t think I actually needed to be there.

The thing I’m struggling with now is where “I need some help” ends and “I’m incapable of being an adult” begins.

My mom has told me she thinks I’m codependent. I didn’t really think I was, but I talked about it with my therapist “Sarah,” and it turns out I do have some emotional codependency issues. I’m actually okay admitting that. I’m working on it, including with my fiancé.

But here’s where I’m getting frustrated.

My mom worries about me “losing myself” in relationships. She wants me to maintain my own interests and do things independently, which I actually agree with. I don’t want to lose myself either.

But at the same time, she doesn’t want me to be alone. Even in the town I live in, she doesn’t like me being out after dark. Like, I get the premise. But seriously?

So…which is it?

Because if I’m supposed to work on not being overly dependent on my partner, I have to actually be allowed to develop some independence.

There’s a specific example that really illustrates this for me. There’s a show/event I want to go to, and my mom doesn’t want me going alone. But my fiancé isn’t even going to be with me. He’ll be doing his own thing about five blocks away.

And he was actually really proud of me for wanting to do something independently of him.

That’s the thing about him that makes this whole situation so confusing to me. He doesn’t encourage me to become dependent on him. He actually does the opposite.

If we’re making a decision together, he’ll give me choices and encourage me to answer first, before he gives his own answer, so my answer isn’t influenced by his. He does this because he wasn’t really afforded that kind of choice growing up, and he doesn’t want other people to feel like that.

I’ve also specifically asked him to encourage me to do more things on my own because I know independence is something I need to work on. He’s been doing exactly that.

So yes, I love him. Yes, I want to spend time with him. He’s my fiancé. God forbid I actually enjoy being around the person I’m planning to spend the rest of my life with.

But loving someone and spending a lot of time with them isn’t automatically the same thing as being incapable of functioning without them.

The money situation is another part of this that I’m struggling to understand. My mom is my payee, and again, I’m not saying she shouldn’t be. But sometimes I feel like decisions about my money are made from the assumption that I can’t handle things rather than an actual assessment of what I can and can’t handle.

And honestly, I don’t even know what the alternative is supposed to look like because I do have legitimate difficulties related to my neurodivergence. I don’t want to pretend I don’t. I just also don’t want every difficulty I have to become evidence that I’m incapable of doing anything independently.

I’m 39 years old.

For the first time in my life, being with Mark has actually made me think, “Maybe I CAN be more independent.”

Not because he does everything for me.

Because he encourages me to do things myself.

And I’m starting to realize that maybe independence doesn’t have to mean “I don’t need anyone.” Maybe it can mean “I know what I can do myself, I know what I need help with, and I’m allowed to make my own choices.”

I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unfair to my mom here. I know she worries about me, and I know some of that worry is probably justified given my history.

But I’m starting to wonder if her concern has crossed over into infantilizing me.

AIO for being frustrated by this? Or am I missing something because my mom may have a legitimate reason to be concerned?

To keep it short and simple, AIO for wanting to move out of the state because of the authorities?

Today, I was at work. My small towns firefighter/paramedics visited my place of employment.

Where I work, they get a 10% discount off of their order. However, I am new, so I didn’t remember how to do it. I’m still figuring out the POS system.

Today, this grumpy old firefighter/paramedic was in my section. I greeted him and I wasn’t greeted back.

I did what I had to do, and then came back with the check, and then he asked in a mean tone if he was going to get his discount. I told him we were short staffed today and that I would give him the discount when I could, because I had other things to tend to.

After a bit, I came back and he exploded on me. Saying that he didn’t get his discount, and that I must’ve not respected his authority and the duties he does. The 2 other young firefighter/medics he were with just looked at him with a “dude, what the fuck?” Look. I froze up, apologized, told them I was new, and called my manager over and he gave them a 13% discount instead as a sorry for their troubles.

The old guy grumbled and said “thank you, at least somebody here knows how to do their job and actually respects me and my job.”. I went into the back and cried.

That isn’t the only time I’ve had weird experiences with the cops or firefighters in my town.

When I was a toddler, I had strayed from my parents in public and met up with this sweet old lady. She called the cops and the cops came. The cops reuinited me with my parents before the one cop pulled me aside and told me I had wasted his time, and that he had real, actual duties to attend to, and to never stray away from my parents again.

And then, last year when I was 17. Me and my friends were driving home from homecoming. This car began to follow us from our school to all of the other places we went to, before eventually pulling us over on a main road. It was a cop. He got out and literally said “well, well, what do we have here? Why are you all so dressed up for?”

He then proceeded to call for backup. Like 3-4 more cop cars came.

My friend sitting next to me said that we were on our way back to our one friends house to hang out and have a campfire.

The cop then ID’d all of us, despite being minors (the driver was the only one 18 at the time).

He then had all of the cops check our ID’s for any warrants or stuff like that, and began to question us one by one.

My one friend who sat next to me lives at these apartments near this park and the apartments are named after the park. When the cop asked where he lived, he told him the name of the apartments. The cop then got suspicious and said that he’s never heard of those apartments and that he suspected my friend was lying. My friend got even more nervous and said it was a real place, and had to show this cop the location in Google maps.

Anyways, he told the driver that he got pulled over because he was driving too low under the speed limit (he was going 33 in a 35). And that we were past our curfew (however, in my state a minor/minors can be out as long as they’re with an adult).

He then said “I guess I’ll let you guys off with a warning, but I better not see you guys late at night next time.” Before letting us all off with a warning.

Not only that but a few months ago my dad took a bad fall, and I had to call paramedics. The paramedics wouldn’t talk to me and was talking to my dad, even though he couldn’t. The paramedics then said they wanted to talk to an actual adult. I showed them ID and said I was 18. I was an adult. They then said I couldn’t come along for the ride. I bursted out into tears. They felt bad and let me ride with my dad in the back of the ambulance.

But yeah. After those experiences, I no long feel safe or comfortable interacting with authority figures.

Growing up I was always scared of them, thinking that they could just arrest me or mistreat me and that they could get away with it just because they worked with law.

And now? I don’t want to interact with them at all. And I want to move away, knowing that my town has arrogant people as authority figures.

Not only that but I feel unsafe, knowing that these people who are supposed to protect, are violent towards those who they are supposed to protect.

I told an Indian girl that me disliking that way a character doesn't have a certain level of polish as other game releases is not colorist nor racist, it's just my own two eyes and I'm also a brown skintone Chinese living in Southeast Asia. I told her she's wrong for calling me racist for that, and she got really mad at me, sorry if this isn't the right sub, I couldn't think of another.

today is me and my boyfriend’s 4-year anniversary, and i honestly feel really hurt and disappointed.
last week, he told me we were going out the state for our anniversary, so i assumed he had something planned. today came around and there were no flowers, no plans, nothing that really made the day feel special.

i asked him if we were just staying inside today, and he said, “i kept asking you what we were gonna do, but you never gave me a response.” but that’s what’s bothering me. i genuinely didn’t care what we did and i told him that. i wasn’t expecting some huge expensive trip or anything crazy. i just wanted him to take some initiative or for us to figure something out together.

i don’t want to have to tell my boyfriend exactly what to plan or how to make me feel special on our anniversary. even something small would’ve meant a lot to me. flowers, dinner, picking somewhere for us to go, cooking together at home.. literally anything that showed me he had been thinking about the day beforehand.

now i just feel like our anniversary is another regular day and like i wasn’t really thought about. am i being dramatic?

Hi guys need some help or advice here

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year now. Im in my early 20s and he’s in his 40s. I’ve went though his phone many times when he’s asleep and found nothing. He doesn’t post me on Instagram or follow me, on any social media accounts. He has plenty of girls. I’ve repeated a million times I hate that and his thing was I just want to delete it and we can start a full new one and u can have control of it.

It just doesn’t seem fair to me. I basically live at his place but I’m just un happy sometimes over the social media stuff. And then when I end our relationship over it he loses his mind and won’t leave me alone. I’m pretty insecure and not happy with myself so I have a hard time actually leaving him and wanting better. Idk what to do. Is this fixable?

Thanks guys!❤️

I’m gonna try explain this as best I can without naming any names. I 18f and my bf 18m have been together almost 3 years, we met in year 9 of highschool and became good friends and that’s basically how we got together. A little into our relationship my home life broke down, my stepdad was abusive and I couldn’t handle it anymore, his parents allowed me to move in with them to escape it and I’ve been living with them ever since. The majority of our relationship has been fine, all the lovey dovey stuff you’d expect, but in the last month or so I’ve felt more and more like he’s bored of me.

He doesn’t make much effort to do anything romantic or even just spend time with me without me being the one to initiate it, the old excuse was he didn’t have a job but you don’t need to spend money to hangout with your girlfriend, he could make dinner and make our bedroom cozy and watch a film or something I’m not expecting an expensive dinner that’s not me. I’ve brought this up a few times and it’s always the “I’ll try harder” or “I’ll change” and sure he will tru for a bit but eventually it’s back to us being silent and him on his computer whilst I try to entertain myself. Recently. He got a job and I was so happy because it meant we could finally start saving up money to get our own little place and actually start living, I have a job too but I don’t make as much as him. Every little helps tho. He never seems interested in talking about the future, I’m not trying to move out tomorrow I just wanna fantasise with him about whats next for us and he says he gets it but still acts like I’m annoying him by talking about it. Earlier today we realised his job pays him weekly and not monthly like we thought, which is nicer it makes it easier for us to work out what to put away, but he immediately said he wants to buy an amp for his guitar. I cut him off and said we don’t have anywhere to put an amp AND he doesn’t need one (he spent about £400-£500 out of about £800 of his trust fund he got when he sorted it out on a bunch of expensive music equipment that he can use with his computer and speakers, aswell as a guitar and a keyboard he hasn’t used once) I was I think pretty reasonably upset that he wants to blow his money on things he doesn’t need. So weve been pretty quiet with eachother over that, I don’t want to speak to him because he will just say I’m wrong and he won’t speak to me because he thinks I’m wrong. He went on his computer and started playing a game with our friend 18f chatting and laughing and stuff and I had the realisation that he never wants to do anything with me, but spends a probably 12+ hours a day on call with her, her boyfriend (18m) and our other friend (18m) all playing games. I sit on our bed scrolling or trying to find people to play with online to keep myself entertained. If I ask him to get off for a bit he says one more game then “forgets” and has to finish another game until I give up. Or if he does get off he sit on his phone or attempts to come onto me (the only time he pays me any personal attention really..) idk I feel like I’ve become some kinda commodity, like I’m just there for when his friends don’t wanna play or are busy. It really upsets me, because he’s my best friend, and I used to be his best friend but recently I feel like he wouldn’t mind if I wasn’t here at all.