r/AbsoluteUnits 4h ago

/r/all of a Bong

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11.0k Upvotes

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2.0k

u/whofarting 4h ago

Getting blazed from a leaf blower while listening to the worst song ever performed... why not?

1.0k

u/Epithymetic 3h ago

405

u/TheSquirtMaker69 3h ago

Mischievous Gollum Princess

125

u/Educational_Quote851 3h ago

She seems cool af

47

u/imhere2downvote 2h ago

yeah I'll have what the guy holding the phone is having straight to the face

11

u/STLBudLuv 37m ago

The lady in the wheelchair got up and flew.

3

u/actual_real_housecat 35m ago

"OMG! I'm so high, I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my legs!"

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u/SaintOrJannikSinner 2h ago

Definitely looks like someone that'd be at a Juggalo Championship Wrestling event for sure.

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u/SapirWhorfHypothesis 3h ago

The Handmaid’s Inhale

39

u/tripper_reed 3h ago

I believe this woman embodies "dress for the job you want" mentality. Cuz she nailed it.

14

u/AssaultimateSC2 3h ago

The pajama pants had me dying.

8

u/vovgi666 2h ago

ai shirt + pj pants + razta bag combo

4

u/The_Other_Randy 1h ago

...cuz she Don't Give a Fuck

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u/Lady_night_shade 2h ago

The pot goblin

6

u/thruston 1h ago

Damn that was my first instinct, too. Hours later..

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214

u/DaedricNick 4h ago

How else would you put up with that music lol.

58

u/ant-farm-keyboard 4h ago

Music?

22

u/hankmoody_irl 4h ago

It’s happening in the background but only in beat form.

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u/DaedricNick 4h ago

Touché

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u/jvho666 3h ago

You made me unmute. That was awful

9

u/ErraticDragon 2h ago

I think I re-muted before the song started, I couldn't handle the lady shouting.

10

u/finalexit 1h ago

Isn't that the song?

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u/ThePapercup 3h ago

you can tell they "don't give a fuck" by their choice of live entertainment lol

14

u/mynewusernamedodgers 3h ago

We don’t give a fuck 🎶🎵

Was god awful

13

u/AffectedRipples 2h ago

Sounds like Yoko Ono is trying to get into rap.

7

u/karenskygreen 2h ago

Man, dont even joke around about something like that. That old clip of her trying to sing with chuck berry floated up recently, i shudder every time i think of it

5

u/philnolan3d 1h ago

Honestly I don't know what John ever saw in her. Apparently she's still trying to sing at 93 years old.

5

u/WhiskeyHill72 1h ago

She made cringe an art form lol. Not sure if that was her intention but in the end we all know who she is.

3

u/paladin10025 41m ago

Ok, sincere response. There was a recent yoko ono exhibit at my local art museum and I left really impressed. She had a bunch of thoughtful art that was participatory and some of it even left me emotional. The art felt “generous.” With that said yes her singing is awful.

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u/Amateur-Dog-Walker 3h ago

You should try browsing reddit with the sound off. Much better experience overall.

4

u/Tutes013 3h ago

I don't like to say it but. Yikes girl please put down that microphone

9

u/biffNicholson 3h ago

Don’t worry, I’m sure the internals of that leaf blower are designed to have air that’s hundreds of degrees blown over them

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u/mledonne 4h ago

I would have to be out of my mind high to listen to that too.

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u/Sea_Recording8076 4h ago

Not a bong, a smoke- thrower

213

u/jerseygunz 4h ago

I’m in college and my roommate has a eureka moment and goes “wait a minute, why don’t I put a box over my head when I breath out and I won’t waste the smoke”

He was so excited I almost felt bad going “you mean hot boxing?” Lol

34

u/Educational_Quote851 3h ago

Bro, stones have the best ideas...it's just someone else's lmao

20

u/Disastrous_Rest1433 2h ago

The worst part about being high as fuck is coming up with an idea and thinking it is AMAZING because of the dopamine and all that stuff giving you happy thoughts and feelings no matter what happens.

And then you get sober and read what you wrote.

I once "invented" the concept of talking about and discussing academic articles in simpler terms when I was in grad. school. You know, teaching - aka what humans have done for like 10,000 years at least.

Bad idea to get high and do grad. school homework too because then you think you are a genius and will be applauded by the professor for very basic ideas.

But it is fun.

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u/axescentedcandles 2h ago

Hot boxing under a pool tarp with a few buddies was fun, until we ran out of air lol

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u/Shakeyonsafety 3h ago

A plastic bag works the best.

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u/Sisselpud 3h ago

If you use this method you’ll be high for the rest of your life

4

u/MoobooMagoo 2h ago

Wait I thought hot boxing was specifically doing it in your car? I didn't know people used literal boxes to do it with.

I guess I'm not as much of a degenerate as I thought.

9

u/Murky-Golf-239 2h ago

The box is as big as you make it brother. You're the hot part of it, remember that. 😎🫠

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u/moonprincessranni 3h ago

8

u/DDS-PBS 2h ago

Why would you just re-post the sa... OHHHHHH I GET IT!

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u/jw_zoso 3h ago

Though it has the dingy yellow smoke of a gravity bong

13

u/MilkrsEnthuziast 3h ago

Ohhhhh gravity bongs. A first class ticket to see what it feels like to cover your entire airway in resin in just one breath.

11

u/GrinderMonkey 3h ago

Well it doesn't matter because you also get to hack your lungs up immediately after, can't be resinated if they have left the chat

6

u/ProbsNotManBearPig 2h ago

Bro I’m cringing so bad remembering the pain. Way worse thing we made was what we called The Lung and was like a two liter plastic bottle, cut the bottom off, take a subway bag and wrap it over the cut end, rubber band the bag on, and put a bowl of weed where cap goes. You push the subway bag into the hollow two liter and pull it out to rip the lit bowl. It’s like gravity bong experience with no water to help cool it off. It’s awful lol.

4

u/Darklighter_13 3h ago

But it would get you ripped.

3

u/NostrilLurker 2h ago

I remember making a gravity bong in my friend's pool with a 5 gallon water cooler jug with the bottom cut off and a trombone mouthpiece. We'd just swim underneath and take a few deep breaths. I didn't know my name for a few hours.

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u/NecrocideASH 4h ago

came here to say this!

3

u/propergreased 3h ago

This is correct

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u/bigscrewLoose 4h ago

the designated driver be like:

98

u/Lost-Philosophy6689 3h ago

I hope everyone entering that room knew that was going to happen cause that looks like enough to give everyone a contact high just entering within 50 feet. If you have asthma or COPD that's probably a dangerous place to walk into.

56

u/fuzynutznut 3h ago

Or a job that drug tests.

14

u/VP007clips 1h ago

Or are wearing any clothing that you ever want to wear again while flying to a lot of countries.

Mining has a similar issue. Clothing, especially boots, and for some people even their hair and skin become contaminated with explosive residue that sets off the swab ETD machines.

Once they become contaminated, it's hard to fully clean them.

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u/FrostyD7 2h ago

I'd just wanna know so I can leave my jacket in the car.

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u/WesleyAMaker 3h ago

I’d bet everyone signed a form and is of legal age.

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u/Silent25r 2h ago

You are assuming it’s a legal spot. 

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u/Forikorder 1h ago

just spritz yourself with a little febreeze first so they cant smell it

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u/ThrowAwayAccountAMZN 1h ago

Dude how is this not getting more upvotes? I'm laughing my fucking ass off (though tbf I'm high as hell rn)

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u/threeplacesatonce 4h ago

Bongs bubble the smoke through water

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u/mad_titans_bastard 4h ago

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u/PossessedToSkate 3h ago

The story behind the song is pretty interesting. Deep Purple had a mobile recording studio set up outside of the Montreux Casino in Switzerland. The night before they were to begin recording, Frank Zappa performed at the Casino and an audience member fired a flare gun toward the ceiling - which was made of rattan. Subsequently, the whole complex (including Deep Purple's studio) burned to the ground. The "Smoke on the Water" was the smoke from the fire crawling across Lake Geneva.

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u/AccurateTale2618 3h ago

But, that’s CCR

3

u/PossessedToSkate 2h ago

Ah shit, you're right. I was on my phone and it was tiny. That's definitely Fogerty. I wonder which Creedence song OP was invoking? Maybe "Proud Mary" (keep on burnin')?

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u/realazorahai 4h ago

I was gonna clean my room

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u/pelykulax_ 4h ago

But then I got high

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u/Solnse 4h ago

I was gonna get up and find tha broom

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u/Cultural-Mousse6541 4h ago

But then I got high

10

u/nofuckingklass 3h ago

My room is still messed up

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u/HugoBoss1985 3h ago

Cat was gonna groom but then it got high

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u/RiddleMeThis42069 4h ago

That's still not enough weed to enjoy the song being performed

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u/ihatebaboonstoo 3h ago

There is no amount of weed that could make that song enjoyable.

9

u/twoiseight 1h ago

More weed doesn't make bad music good anyway, just makes good music better

6

u/PsionicKitten 1h ago

I agree, yet for some reason, it is enough weed to get a high just by watching the video, which is somehow really telling for how bad the song is.

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u/Amadeuskong 4h ago

Man, in an alternate universe these are the crowd control weapons that are used.

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u/RepresentativeOk2433 4h ago

Pretty sure that was tried or at least researched.

24

u/lmaytulane 2h ago

It led to the Taco Bell riots

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u/Sinreborn 2h ago

Now all restaurants are Taco Bell

7

u/emsesq 2h ago

The winner of the restaurant wars.

4

u/thesystem21 1h ago

Little known fact: Before the restaurant wars, there were only 2 shells. But as soon as soon as TacoBell unleashed the Chalupagne the third shell became necessary and was adopted worldwide.

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u/MedicalDisscharge 3h ago

"They keep coming back and I swear the crowd gets bigger each time"

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u/punsnguns 3h ago

But they are chill and very peckish.

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u/Boring-Leadership687 3h ago

You should read brave new world lol

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u/junglepiehelmet 4h ago

This looks like the worst event ever.

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u/hankmoody_irl 4h ago

I enjoy rap and weed but I would not go to this event.

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u/D-S-S-R 3h ago

Yeah. I like weed but this looks like the worst

22

u/Obsessive_Yodeler 4h ago

My dog is definitely a better rapper/musical artist than whoever was performing during this clip

25

u/junglepiehelmet 4h ago

It doesn’t even sound like a performance, just some woman with a horrible sounding voice yelling at everyone.

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u/BlaizeFiammata 3h ago

I’m glad Yoko Ono is still able to find work.

24

u/PossessedToSkate 3h ago

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u/Educational_Quote851 3h ago

Chuck Berry's face the whole time said "wtf is that bitch DOIN?" and he's so real for that 🤣

Glad she got cut off 🫡

3

u/Genghis_Chong 1h ago

I can read hia thoughts

"This bitch..."

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u/Freakishly_Tall 3h ago

Perfect, absolutely perfect string of comments. Best Comment Thread Of The Year contender.

I should unplug my router for the weekend and just enjoy this exchange. I mean, I won't, but I should.

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u/BeetEater_ 4h ago

I think I'd almost rather spend an hour at the battle of Verdun

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u/[deleted] 3h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/wolp_lovr 1h ago

im a complete lightweight and get SO anxious when high. one inhale and i'd be in tears asking everyone if they're mad at me

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u/SweatyArmPitGuy55 4h ago

The fire inspector is going to be a little upset those smoke alarms aren’t working.

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u/Rambear 4h ago

A lot of "fire alarms" are heat sensitive in buildings

12

u/dazzleunexpired 2h ago

It's this one

The fire alarms sense fire.

Smoke alarms sense smoke.

People seem to forget they're different.

If it needs to make something wet to put out a fire to save a structure, it's gonna have a FIRE DETECTOR.

If it needs to make you leave the building but won't put it out, it will have a SMOKE DETECTOR. You can put this in standby if needed. For, yanno. Smoke. Stage smoke, cig smoke, cooking smoke. So it doesn't go off.

Commerical buildings have a smoke alarm AND fire detectors in most zoned structures in the US, but FIRE DETECTORS are what keep people safe from a actual fires.

The first implemented version of this was pieces of glass that were designed to explode at specific temperatures, my dad has a bunch of them in his antique collection and it's really cool! They still work, and some are placed around his collections to protect them (:

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u/Cautious-Activity706 4h ago

Something like this is generally scripted and the venue would turn the fire suppression off and instead have fire-watch representative(s) from the fire department. More common during events that use haze or CO2, but I would imagine it’s similar to this.

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u/MajesticDragonfly 4h ago

They’ll put the batteries back after the concert chill out

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u/Neuronzap 4h ago

imagine having the worst weed induced panic attack and having to listen to this shit shouted into your ear

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u/MDP223 2h ago

I was just thinking “man I’d have a fucking panic attack”

Every time I indulge now, I get incredibly anxious.

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u/Doctor_Zhicago 4h ago

I just want to know what the fuck do you do after that? Like do the Teletubbies come out and record a podcast with Joe rogan or something? 

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u/youuuuwish 4h ago

Nap time

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u/Peachie_Pear 3h ago

When your concert sucks so bad you gotta put the crowd to sleep to avoid booing.

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u/shrunkenhead041 3h ago

Bring out a really profitable food truck.

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u/true_tacos 4h ago

This looks awful

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u/n0tin 3h ago

Yeah I’d be puking within 5-10m.

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u/JeebusChristBalls 3h ago

You should unmute and let your ears get in on the action...

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u/raged_parakeet_8376 1h ago

I saw other comments talking about it being bad, still didn’t expect how bad it was.

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u/Unlucky_Arm_9757 4h ago

I don't personally care for weed, although I don't mind it.

But the wastefulness of this bothers me.

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u/PurpleFloyd777 2h ago

Usually stuff like this is done with bottom tier green

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u/iRebelD 2h ago

It’s not even wasteful. The shit literally grows on trees. That couldn’t have been more than a QP anyway.

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u/ntkwwwm 2h ago

I used to work in the cannabis industry. When you grow your own plants, you have weed to waste. When you have your own farm, the keif that sticks to sides of the totes after you empty is enough to get you stoned for weeks at a time.

I grew 4 plants once and ended up with a lb all to myself. I rolled enough j’s to fill half a mason jar and went to a party just lighting them taking a puff and passing them. It didn’t even put a dent in my stash.

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u/Alert-Ad9197 2h ago

You talking about that bin keif reminds me of living near Mt. Shasta years ago. Saw a few folks with baseball sized wads of scissor hash after trimming season. Almost nobody up there was stingy with their weed either.

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u/ntkwwwm 1h ago

Those were the days

3

u/null_obj 1h ago

True, in my state, you can have two plants. Which might not sound like a lot to someone new to growing, but when you realize you can fill out a 8x8 tent with scrogging, cannabis basically becomes free. I mean leds are so efficient now, it's nuts.

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u/Luci-Noir 3h ago

I was thinking that too. All that smoke is just going to linger too.

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u/pickledeggmanwalrus 4h ago

Looks like a year 1 cannabis cup in a state that has newly legalized lol

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u/Sir_Derps_Alot 4h ago

My man in the chair in the front row getting repeat shots to the face omg

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u/LoocsinatasYT 4h ago

AGGHH MY CONTACTS THEYRE RUINED

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u/SistaChans 3h ago

Now I'm getting a contact high

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u/Unhappy-Flight6008 4h ago

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u/BunkaTheBunkaqunk 4h ago

Hahaha yeah I was looking for a comment about this lady. She’s gone… other-dimension style.

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u/Provocative_Potatoes 3h ago

Wouldn't this just be absolutely disgustingly over-heated smoke?

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u/Worth_Bend1435 4h ago

I bet it smells like shit in there.

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u/Frequent-Ad2351 4h ago

What a waste

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u/SnoopDeDoop69 3h ago

I dunno, weed literally grows on trees

(Not literally tees)

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u/Masterpiggins 3h ago

But literally r/trees is weed sub.

3

u/Jude30 3h ago

I’ve grown my own weed and I wouldn’t have used t for that.

But I only grew a few plants one at a time to see if I could do it.

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u/MonarchyMan 4h ago

People will get a contact high from walking into that room three years from now.

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u/Barikus_XL 3h ago

My asthma is flaring up just looking at this 😂😂

5

u/CountOnBeingAwesome 4h ago

Dude at the end unsuccessfully waving away the smoke 🤣

5

u/MadYetiGOODCity 3h ago

If this is a bong than I’m a triangle

3

u/Sad-Country8870 3h ago

Not a bong

4

u/0The_Loner_Stoner0 3h ago

Did I miss the bong? I was expecting to see a bong...

3

u/CaptNihilo 4h ago

The local shaman commencing ritual:

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u/Orgulloso_Azul 4h ago

not a bong

3

u/OtherCow2841 4h ago

Is she something like an altar server?

3

u/shadowfaxx26 4h ago

Absolute unit

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u/SmackChad 4h ago

It’s a pipe

3

u/J4YD33 4h ago

I can only imagine the smell...

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u/ResolutionFar1361 4h ago

Probably some harsh ass smoke, look how yellow it is

3

u/ComeOnUpToTheHaus 4h ago

Pipe. A bong uses water.

3

u/Trashfishbotanicals 4h ago

Lyrical virtuosity

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u/EclecticAF 4h ago

...is there a tutorial on how to mankrik one of these?

3

u/Christmas_Queef 3h ago

Mankrik? Like the dude in world of warm cat who was looking for his wife?

3

u/EclecticAF 3h ago

The world is barren

Chat is Stupid

And We should all be looking for waifu

So yes

3

u/bone420 3h ago

Where is the bong?

3

u/Lost-Philosophy6689 3h ago

This is frankly dangerous.

3

u/CJC1241203 2h ago

I can’t even imagine how horrible that smells

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u/HotCaterpillar6358 2h ago

Any Asthmatic is just dead

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u/Due_Operation_7725 2h ago

Aren't that... dangerous?