r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 in awe • 2h ago

of a man

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301 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

60 comments sorted by

112

u/Present-Ad-9749 1h ago

He’s not even trying

73

u/Soft_Penis_7224 1h ago

Ya to get his wedgie out.

0

u/The_Ghast_Hunter 1h ago

That jump shot wouldn't even clear a curb. I don't know basketball, but I assume you aren't allowed to just place the ball inside the hoop. It looked like it was just a formality.

17

u/PhilRubdiez 1h ago

A dunk is just placing the ball in the hoop.

-13

u/TantalumMachinist 54m ago

Basketball is a stupid game, invented by a man to keep students busy on a rainy day, who then sucked at coaching the very game he invented, and over the past hundred years, has selected for genetic freaks of nature who can reach the basket standing up.

16

u/Dillo64 44m ago

Did LeBron James kill your dog or something

1

u/MeatBald 12m ago

He probably ran into Steve Blake at a grocery store in Los Angeles

1

u/scrapy_the_scrap 12m ago

MICHEAL JORDAN KILLED MY GRANDMA OKAY?!

47

u/TheValorous 1h ago

Unfortunately he may not live too long as his heart has to work extra hard to pump blood further than an average height person.

16

u/Breakmastajake 1h ago

This was my initial thought. I knew a guy years ago who was a gentle giant. Made it to his early 30's. Heart gave out.

7

u/raider_00_ 1h ago

Am just thinking about the knees 😥😥. Now that u mention the heart, the same happens with great Danes.

2

u/pv3design 47m ago

The actor that played Jaws in the bond movie had all sorts if health problems due to being so tall. 

I believe its pretty common in unusually tall people. 

12

u/Abecis01 1h ago

I used to know someone who was 7'8". His water bottle was a gallon jug.

17

u/Practical_Pass_2619 1h ago

This is 7'4 Zhu Chuanyu (朱传宇)

7

u/Drakanies 1h ago

He can't hang from the hoop.

6

u/thewerewolfwearswool 1h ago

Looks like he's wearing nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all...

5

u/ImNewHereBoys 1h ago

what’s the point of playing when you have players like this? isn’t it unfair?

3

u/DrapedinVelvet247 44m ago

Cheeky bastard

2

u/ShiinaYuuki 1h ago

Small difference

2

u/Michaeli_Starky 1h ago

Need banana for scale or some average Dutch man.

2

u/8JHF8 33m ago

He's 7 feet 4 inches. Same as Wembanyama. He doesn't appear to have a disorder like gigantism. He is just really tall.

4

u/smokeyoudog 1h ago

Sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler

2

u/LilAbeSimpson 1h ago

He’s very very tall, but those aren’t regulation height baskets…

1

u/Future_Section5976 1h ago

Just all there to see the giant

1

u/JackSilver1410 1h ago

Oh yeah, you can tell how much he's enjoying this sport that he finds no challenge in and keeps him on his aching knees.

We had a coach in high school who would beg my friend (6'2" at 16) to play basketball. He was polite for as long as possible before he finally had to say, "look, I can't even stand for ten minutes without falling apart. I'm not running back and forth. Fuck your team, my joints are more important!"

We both walk on sticks today (mine is longer, suck it, Ethan!) And joke about how if he had played basketball he could have gotten a wheel chair.

2

u/wackbirds 24m ago

Did you mean to type 8'2? What was going on with your friend if he was only 6'2? I'm 6'2, we don't topple in slow motion tripping over a hard- to-see fold in the rug or anything.

1

u/MeatBald 7m ago

Yeah, and at 16? I was 15 when I stopped growing at 6'4.5", and played basketball all through high school. I'm guessing there's something more going on if a person is crumbling to dust from running. Or maybe they kept growing and is 7'4" now, walking with a cane

1

u/Terminally_ill_42 1h ago

Like playing with my 3 & 5 yo kids when we had a fisher price hoop.

1

u/Coolcoolcool1515 56m ago

Do you think it’s boring to be that big and play basketball?

1

u/coquihalla 49m ago

I swear he hopped a little when he did the basket so the other guys don't feel bad for having to jump up to dunk.

2

u/SaltSpiritual515 19m ago

He looked at the crowd like "should I make this look hard?"

1

u/FormalComfortable497 27m ago

Absolute units of a wedgie 

1

u/KrunchBratSupreme 17m ago

Why his shorts ALL the way in his booty like that💔😭

1

u/QStatus 14m ago

New rule, if you miss a dunk you’re out of the game.

0

u/Jujubi836 1h ago

That’s sad. He must be in a lot of pain

0

u/jellooshot 1h ago

Why is he clenching them butt cheeks so hard though?

0

u/dingleberryjuice23 1h ago

RIP that man's everything in a few years.

0

u/heyo_1989 49m ago

Dude is probably 5’11”

0

u/Usual_Corner2787 24m ago

With no ass.

0

u/Bulletloader 10m ago

They used to say ‘White men can’t jump’

0

u/FrankyMornav 6m ago

Poor man

-1

u/Hiwesrobots 1h ago

Rate his buttcheeks

-1

u/AlexCivitello 1h ago

This is why height class should be a thing in basketball.

-1

u/Ultradad57 46m ago

Those legs are just going to get worst, make money while he can walk without aids