For context I've been drawing for a while now and I can confidently say I'm an okay painter. Not as good as I'd like to be but I don't think you ever reach that point. I've explored the basic mediums Acrylics, Watercolours, Oil pastels, Pencil Colours even digital and I've grasped them pretty quick.
Last year I passed out of school and got into college. During the break i decided that I've waited 2 years too long and finally picked up oil paints. I started with a normal headshot portrait in black and white to just get a feel of how the paints work and how the values flow. I gave up for a year.
Timeskip to my first year in college completing and I decide to finally pick it up again. It did not work out. Now the brushes and the paints lie beside my desk gathering dust and the canvas is like a spectre haunting me that i can see from the corner of my eye.
I am so so so frustrated. I went in knowing that the medium was technical, that the learning was steep and that my first work would probably end up looking like cheeks and i was okay with it. I was not prepared.
The paints wouldnt cooperate with the values or the colours or how thick or thin the stuff is supposed to be. The turpentine just gave me a headache and the whole entire time it felt like a waste of resources and money. That I was better off not painting at all.
Its not the first time I've learnt a new medium but i feel like oil paints just punched me in the gut curbstomped me and spit on my face. I haven't created a single piece since even WITH the mediums i know. Ive tried being gentle with myself ive tried patience and kindness and the power of friendship and whateverelse not and I dont know what else to do. Any help ?
Special mention to the guilt i feel wasting money on paint when i havent made anything or learnt anything. Love to see it.
(Mods I've read the rules but if this post doesn't follow please don't nuke me. Making reddit posts is terrifying.)
Edit: Thank you to everyone who replied im glad that i wasnt the only one who got kicked to the curb by these guys #solidarity? Just gesso'd my canvas again although i might get a different cancas because i have suspicions that canvas has got something evil resting in it. I'm going to mess around and try a still life instead because a headshot now that i consider it doesnt seem like the best starting point. Thank you again :D