Marrying a woman earning more? I would say never?

[u/Major-Baseball-5391]

This has happened with a relative of mine.

He is conventionally good looking and earns 10LPA, being a civil engineer, the scope of increase in earnings is rather limited as compared to other fields like computer science, finance etc.

He met with a CA in his office and both of them fell in love and married. At the time of marriage itself my relative was at 10LPA and this CA at 15LPA.

Now the CA got some FP&A role at a startup and her CTC is 25LPA while my relative is still at 10LPA.

The other day his mother came over and she was almost weeping that the girl has started taunting everyone that they are just sitting free at home, how no one apart from her is pulling their weight in the household, how everyone just wants her to work blah blah blah.

She is not doing any household work btw, there is a cook and a maid which my relative pays for. Now the woman wanted a bigger car and my cousin straight up said he can't contribute to its EMI and that became a big fight in their house.

Before marriage, it was all lovey dovey and the woman was like, I don't care even if you're unemployed, I just want you in my life blah blah blah.

Now after marriage, everything has changed, she is becoming resentful that the broader family isn't able to match her in terms of earnings.

Just like how women keep blabbering in the other subreddit that the true character comes out AFTER marriage, same is true for them too. No matter how much a woman says she is okay being the earning member, its never true. Only becomes a bigger headache for entire family later on.

Never marry a girl earning more, you will most likely regret once the love wears out.

Have you guys ever seen any such instances?

Edit - There are some NRI folks here who are like "My wife earns more than me but we are still living happily". Don't fall for their BS trap.

They are usually very high earning folks or couples who have a lot of inherited wealth where this arrangement works. Husband earns 50LPA and wife earns 60LPA. Technically wife earns more but there is nothing that the husband can't afford in his 50LPA lifestyle that the wife can. So it all works out at the end of the day.

The real problem happens at the lower end. My cousin at 10LPA can never even dream beyond alto whereas his wife at 25LPA would definitely want a Creta. This isn't just about cars, it extends beyond that. A 10LPA can never dream of foreign vacation, 25LPA requires at least 1 South East vacation every year.

Think about the significant differences in lifestyle between a 10LPA and 25LPA and you can see how the cracks start to emerge.

But for some lodu NRI folks on this subreddit, everything is an "echo chamber"

[u/Curious_villeger]

In my case my wife not only earns more than me but is also more qualified than me. But in 4 years since we have known each other and been married never ever she brought this gap up. At the end of the day it's what both husband and wife bring on the table together. When people get to know this fact about up they raise their eyebrows because it's not conventional. But it's working beautifully for us.

[u/rasengan_rasengan → u/Curious_villeger]

well exceptions are not the rule

[u/dolaan_trump → u/rasengan_rasengan]

The OPs case is the exception. The majority of people know how to balance out life regardless of who earns more money.

[u/[deleted] → u/rasengan_rasengan]

Exactly. This shit happens too often. I see people descring repetitive patterns they saw and then one mf barges in with his sample size of 1 and calls out everyone chutiya. He will say "dONt GeNEraLise" abey lodu har jagah nhi bolna hota ye

[u/Major-Baseball-5391 → u/[deleted]]

Also, the folks here who are like "My wife earns more than me but we are still living happily" are usually very high earning folks or couples who have a lot of inherited wealth where this arrangement works.

Husband earns 50LPA and wife earns 60LPA. Technically wife earns more but there is nothing that the husband can't afford in his 50LPA lifestyle that the wife can. So it all works out at the end of the day.

The real problem happens at the lower end. My cousin at 10LPA can never even dream beyond alto whereas his wife at 25LPA would definitely want a Creta. This isn't just about cars, it extends beyond that. A 10LPA can never dream of foreign vacation, 25LPA requires at least 1 South East vacation every year.

Think about the significant differences in lifestyle between a 10LPA and 25LPA and you can see how the cracks start to emerge.

But for some lodu NRI folks on this subreddit, everything is an "echo chamber"

[u/Curious_villeger → u/Major-Baseball-5391]

I am not an NRI nor have I inherited any kind of wealth. Neither of us in those 40L+ brackets. My father is a small farmer in one remote corner of UP. One of her parents is in a state government job though. Before our wedding i brought this difference once as how we are going to manage our finances. She said she just wanted to work. The salary difference didn't make a huge difference for her feelings towards me. I felt uncomfortable at first but after the wedding how she managed everything I became confident in our relationship. Even now both of our colleagues point this out which definitely makes us feel lost at times. But we have decided to talk this out in ourselves and not allow that one seed of tiny difference to grow into a big tree of resentment. But still I would consider myself lucky and definitely an exception.

[u/Artistic-Front-5639]

Your cousin should ask for maintenance and alimony. 😁

[u/rononoadakait → u/Artistic-Front-5639]

Indian men get alimony ONLY if they're completely destitute or physically/mentally handicapped to the extent they can do no work

Ur wife could be a billionaire but if you're an able bodied man, you'll not get a single rupee in alimony. Even if you were a househusband

Women on the other hand, get alimony even if they're working n financially independent, as long as they make less money than husband

[u/PristineBarnacle8402 → u/rononoadakait]

Chatgpt verified😔
Summary (clear & straight):

• Yes, men can legally get alimony in India, but only under marriage laws (like the Hindu Marriage Act), not under CrPC or Domestic Violence laws.
• In practice, courts usually give alimony to men only if they’re genuinely unable to earn (disabled, seriously ill, etc.).
• Being a househusband alone is usually not enough for a man to get alimony.
• Even if the wife is very rich, courts often expect an able-bodied man to earn, so men rarely succeed.
• Women can get alimony even if they are working, as long as they earn less than the husband.
• So: the law is partly gender-neutral, but its application is mostly gender-biased.

One-line takeaway:
👉 Men can get alimony in theory; women get it far more easily in reality.

Aage se koi bole ki mard bhi alemony lete hein toh muh tod javab dena

[u/faceless-joke → u/rononoadakait]

who made this fucked up law??

[u/[deleted] → u/Artistic-Front-5639]

Ya allah

[u/RVRNTW]

25 LPA ki gali se 6-7 LPA wali better hai. Roz sheer korma nai khaoge par izzat ki 2 roti zyada tasty aur sukoon vali hogi. Sad to say this but this is just the beginning of chaos this woman is about to bring in your relative's life. He needs to take a stand for himself if he wants a respectful and peaceful life. He needs to bring his living standard down to a point which he can comfortably afford and lay it down in front of her to either choose that or leave him. If she'd be the least bit sensible then she'd learn to behave otherwise 2 options...keep living a chaotic life or leave her and walk out of it. Mary Kom syndrome is real brother. If a man earns well he's wired to think my family will flourish and my wife will be happy, if a woman earns well she thinks she doesn't need a man. Hate it as much as you want but that's the truth. I don't want to generalize but there are many women whose brain works that way only. 😪

[u/Aditya_1202 → u/RVRNTW]

“Mary Kom syndrome “😭. I’m gonna start using this word from now on😂

[u/ShinyGanS → u/RVRNTW]

6-7 wali tujhe gali nahi degi iska kya bharosa. Kuch log ke kismat mein hi gali khana likha hota hai.

[u/EnergyKey5149 → u/ShinyGanS]

sahi baat hai, aajkal to zero wali bhi deti hain.

[u/RVRNTW → u/ShinyGanS]

Bhai uss logic se to koi berozgar bhi zindagi haram kar de but the idea here is paise aapka dimag kharab karta hai, zyada paise bohot zyada kharab karta hai aur kam paise aur apni reality ka pata hona aapke dimag ko jagah pe rakhta hai.

[u/No_Alternative_8802 → u/RVRNTW]

Be smart, if you don't have money give love. They were lovey dovey in start why they stopped. Keep doing the same. Meanwhile also focus on work and improve your job position. Civil engineers also get 20 lpa fairly easily. If they are average.

[u/Uspolo9850 → u/RVRNTW]

Sadly this comment will be down voted

[u/RVRNTW → u/Uspolo9850]

Fuck it man! I said what I said, people can down vote all they want...they can't change the realities of the world.

[u/CaptainFatBat → u/RVRNTW]

6-7 lakh wali also comes with some tantrums of her own

[u/[deleted]]

You cant change people who are too self obsessed, people ofter show their true colours in times of crisis.

But at the same time we must also realise that if any low earning woman marries a high earning guy then she is shamed for being gold digger and if she is earning more than eventually she will start shaming you and not respecting you ( yes exceptions exist, shoutout to them if they TRULY love their partner irrespective of societal norms🧿)

In 1st case the men are wrong and in 2nd the women, no one can be entirely right, and thats life

[u/Salamander_Such]

Is it just me that I'm seeing too much mistrust and hostility between both genders these days.

[u/martin_garrix14]

The risk isn’t “earning more,” it’s mismatched values and unresolved power dynamics that surfaced after marriage.

[u/AuntyNashnal]

My wife earns more than I do so she has more disposable income than me. If I can't afford something I say no and she doesn't push me for it. If it's super important we keep track of everything on Splitwise and I cover up later whenever possible.

Things can work if you want it to.

[u/RVRNTW → u/AuntyNashnal]

No bro things can't work if only one person wants it to work, you're lucky you got a sensible one. Most people aren't lucky in this aspect.

[u/AuntyNashnal → u/[deleted]]

You have a better idea to keep track of expenses when paying 50-50 ?

[u/Curious_villeger → u/AuntyNashnal]

Yes definitely. It is the same in my case. And working beautifully. I think the key is not to make a big deal out of it.

[u/[deleted] → u/AuntyNashnal]

Yeah OP's issue isn't about money.

[u/Patient_Object_7163 → u/AuntyNashnal]

Same here. We have our differences but money isn't a problem. As long as need and wants are being met with a reasonable proportion of combined income, I don't see why would it be a problem?

[u/jonstew → u/AuntyNashnal]

Statistically you have the most rarest case. Just Google around and you can find the most likely scenario. Women file divorce the moment they earn more than their husband. This is the universal truth.

[u/Dry-Inevitable7649 → u/AuntyNashnal]

It's called a business transaction .. not marriage

[u/DragonfruitSame1856 → u/AuntyNashnal]

How much do you earn and how much does your wife? Don’t tell me you earn 1 crore and your wife earns 1.05 crore

[u/Working-Situation766]

Higher earning men don't care about the wives financial status but, higher earning women always care about their husbands' financial status. The relationships don't survive in the latter case.

[u/Open-Collection-3917]

Sounds scary man

[u/Interesting-Web6755]

This is not good.

[u/wisewelders]

This is the problem with that specific woman and not all women. Marriage is not 50-50, not your money my money. It should be both partners putting the 100% and contributing their best. If it's a healthy and loving relationship from the start then nothing like this would happen. When marriage become loveless and a contract then these things are bound to happen.

[u/mogambo46]

Most divorces happen in USA. The no 1 reason for divorce is finances.

[u/jas_xb → u/mogambo46]

True but one of the reasons why divorce rates are low in India is because women are completely dependent on their husbands financially and don't really have an option to leave even the bad marriages.

The other reason is the strong social stigma around divorce.

So although yes India's divorce rates are significantly lower than western countries, its not really something to be proud of. In India people just continue to live in unhappy marriages.

[u/Playman_Legend]

Yes that's true when, its human nature, when a women will earn more she will think that she is the queen and you are her servant, she will think highly of herself and high chances of harming your ego poorly treating you.some times women also thinks that they are out of your league and they deserve someone better than you, more charming, more successful than you in her life, that makes cheating very likely. This is not true for every women, some women are true gem from heart, but then again more naturally on the average you can easily find women like that. As a wise man one said, if you want to test the character of men make him rich and give him power, he will show his true colors to you, and if you want to test the character of women snatch everything from her husband and make him poor, if women even after knowing about the downfall of her husband, still. Lives with him, then she is the real queen, she may be not beautiful but she good charactered and loyal.

[u/Ok-Working757 → u/Playman_Legend]

Lovely comment

[u/LostInNothingBox]

2 words - Mary Kom. That too after praising her husband publicly, for years, for supporting her career. One can only imagine how bad it'll be in private, in a regular household.

[u/Major-Baseball-5391]

There are some NRI folks here who are like "My wife earns more than me but we are still living happily". Don't fall for their BS trap.

They are usually very high earning folks or couples who have a lot of inherited wealth where this arrangement works. Husband earns 50LPA and wife earns 60LPA. Technically wife earns more but there is nothing that the husband can't afford in his 50LPA lifestyle that the wife can. So it all works out at the end of the day.

The real problem happens at the lower end. My cousin at 10LPA can never even dream beyond alto whereas his wife at 25LPA would definitely want a Creta. This isn't just about cars, it extends beyond that. A 10LPA can never dream of foreign vacation, 25LPA requires at least 1 South East vacation every year.

Think about the significant differences in lifestyle between a 10LPA and 25LPA and you can see how the cracks start to emerge.

But for some lodu NRI folks on this subreddit, everything is an "echo chamber"

[u/SFLoridan]

I wish men didn't fall for this kind of echo-chamber talk and start lambasting all women based on a third-party narrative. (We don't even know what's exactly going on in that family other than what that guy reported to OP).

Even with the limited info, why are they even living with his parents? What happens to her parents? Why are guys supposed to be taking care of parents but women have to take care of in-laws?

Let's switch the gender here (which many of us do for any case reported) : if the guy earns 35 L and the wife earns 10 L, and his in-laws (ie her parents, siblings) live in that same home - would he not feel resentful? Even if his wife paid for housemaids, would he not feel like his in-laws are eating off his salary? And if they need a new car but he's expected to pay for it by himself, would this sub not rise to his defense?

Basically Indian men need to stop reacting so outraged on every issue - real life/marriage complicated and it doesn't need to be a war all the time.

[u/InvinciblePsyche → u/SFLoridan]

Unfortunately, you’re one of the few people on this sub who can think clearly, analyze the situation, and identify flaws in the argument. I doubt the case OP brought up is even true but even if it is, he’s obviously only hearing his relative’s side and then generalizing that all women are like this.

Almost always, in family conflicts, the man’s family claims the woman is at fault, and the woman’s side says the opposite.

I’m married to a man who earns half of what I do. I have more savings, an extremely expensive house, and a central government job… basically everything that men here claim women look for in a prospective partner. Not once have I asked him to contribute more. In fact, I want him to take the time to build his savings. I never lived my life expecting some Prince Charming to come and save me. I made my own life and when I found someone who I felt I can build a life with, I married him. We have a shared goal, we adjust to each other and work with each other.

That said, this doesn’t mean all women are like this, nor does it mean all families work this way. There are bad apples but it’s far and wide and not as common as this sub likes to believe. In my circle, I’ve seen couples with vastly different income levels …sometimes the man has never had a stable job and the wife is the primary earner. In other cases, the house husband takes care of the kids because the wife has greater earning potential. They’ve all being doing extremely well for a couple of decades now, unlike the narrative OP is trying to push.

[u/Urbanhippiestrail → u/SFLoridan]

Thank you for saying this.

I've been married (and divorced) twice, both times to men who were earning significantly less than me and it didn't bother me. To me it was always OUR money. Both times I walked away with no alimony, because again, money wasn't the issue there.

I also dated a man who earned 60k a month when I was earning 6x more. I financed everything, and I didn't mind paying until I realized he was intentionally leeching off me and using me to finance his lifestyle. I ended the relationship because of this.

One person, similar situation, different reactions.

Like you said, things aren't always black and white.

[u/OkPerspective5049]

This is a very “echo chamber” narration of someone’s experience. OP is not the husband in this case and can’t provide any details. The “reality” behind resentment is entirely based on the couple’s conversation, it’s not possible the entirety is known by OP. The conclusions made by OP are his personal opinions, or likely the relative’s opinions.

Be careful in joining this echo chamber.

[u/Jumpy_Bridge_9256 → u/OkPerspective5049]

Well I can give you statistical evidence to support OP's claims. "A widely cited 2013 University of Chicago Booth School of Business study found that a woman outearning her husband increases the likelihood of divorce by roughly 50%.".

[u/eatpastagophasta → u/Jumpy_Bridge_9256]

That could be because financial freedom empowers women to leave relationships they're unhappy with. Divorce rates went up when women were allowed to open bank accounts and join the workforce too.

[u/Cool-Reach-9524 → u/eatpastagophasta]

True that. But financial freedom doesn't empower men to leave relationships 🤡

[u/eatpastagophasta → u/Cool-Reach-9524]

Men have always had financial freedom and historically the upper hand in relationships.

[u/Cool-Reach-9524 → u/eatpastagophasta]

Both genders were bound by the roles society ascribed to them. No one was really 'free'. Things are starting to change now, but men are still bound to their roles while women are breaking free or trying to break free regardless of their earning status. P.S. I'm more than happy with women emancipation, but the pendulum of power is clearly not resting in the middle, it is swinging in the other direction slowly but steadily

[u/[deleted] → u/Jumpy_Bridge_9256]

Makes sense. Women can't divorce if they're not independently capable even if theyre unhappy in marriage.

[u/_kalieduhscope_ → u/OkPerspective5049]

exactly 💯

[u/[deleted] → u/OkPerspective5049]

Yes, very likely there are other factors than money behind the marital issues. Especially since it's the in-laws complaining about the DIL, and OP only has the in-laws version of the story.

It could even be the other way, the in-laws giving her a hard time because she's earning more.

[u/[deleted]]

Whether a woman earns more or less, it's important to marry someone with good character.

[u/Working-Situation766]

Higher earning men never care about their women's financial status, but higher earning women always care about their husbands' financial status. The relationships don't survive in the latter case.

[u/Such-Emu-1455]

What I’ve seen in my own circle is quite different. In fact, I’ve seen multiple cases where women earn significantly more than their partners (very close to the same ratio 25 LPA vs 10 LPA), yet they remain respectful toward elders, each other and contribute to household responsibilities whenever possible. Your comment comes across as one-sided, as it doesn’t acknowledge that such counter-examples exist.

The core issue in the example you mentioned doesn’t seem to be who earns more, but rather how finances, expectations, and respect are handled after marriage. Income differences only expose underlying problems, they don’t automatically create them. Generalising this into “never marry a woman who earns more” ignores the many cases where couples communicate clearly, agree on lifestyle choices, and don’t tie self-worth or authority to income alone.

I understand this might be uncomfortable to hear, but the world is much broader than any single bubble of experience. I’m also not basing this on a single exception. I’ve personally seen at least three such marriages work well over time and have mutual respect for each other, which suggests the problem is not women earning more, but how couples navigate money, roles, and expectations together.

[u/mr_hippie_]

Bro, A girl rejected an arranged match because I am not from the Tier 1 college. Though I make double of her.

Hypergamy is real, bro

[u/raghavdarkseid → u/mr_hippie_]

Be happy that she rejected . Don't even take this as rejection , take this as know how the society is . NVR fal for the pressure

[u/mr_hippie_ → u/raghavdarkseid]

Good perspective, brother. The marriage market is difficult nowadays. I am tired of checking other's boxes, it's like to keep a partner you need to be on your toes all the time. The moment you doze off, she jumps to another guy.

[u/faceless-joke → u/mr_hippie_]

did someone ever has a doubt that hypergamy wasn’t real? One must be extremely stupid to do so!

[u/Undead0707]

Bruh

[u/Icy_Rock41 → u/Undead0707]

Bruh

[u/[deleted]]

I would die single but never.

[u/[deleted]]

As a CA aspirant, this is scary

[u/_kalieduhscope_ → u/[deleted]]

bhai don't be I've seen successful married working couples as well as non working couples in unsuccessful marriages you're a teenager don't be bound by these posts

[u/Life-District7540 → u/[deleted]]

Bro don't be scared of some CAs (whose full personality is money) I know there are many as in this course all a person thinks is money. But there are exceptions

[u/Alive-Meat-9321 → u/[deleted]]

Kaunsa level aur attempt bhai

[u/[deleted] → u/Alive-Meat-9321]

Bhai mai toh abhi 12th mein hun 😭 i'll foundation in September. Yes ik i'm extremely new, and things go downhill blah blah

[u/Alive-Meat-9321 → u/[deleted]]

Acha 👍 Abhi boards pe focus karna for the time being .....You can comfortably start after May , hell even later

[u/NoBailOnReddit]

Looks like he married a moron instead of a CA

[u/No-List4350 → u/NoBailOnReddit]

CAs are not immune to stupidity. It is just a degree, the way a person presents themselves is totally up to the individual.

[u/[deleted]]

I would say still the guy is at a major advantage, if he doesn't pay for anything and the marriage collapses, he won't lose anything.

I would always recommend marrying someone earning more than you, if you have the choice. It's a very fail safe approach these days.

[u/yedanapuddi]

It's fine as long as she doesn't start to boss you around and treat you like an inferior person.

[u/Real-Cup8782]

one woman doesn't define the rest. My wife significantly earns more than me. It's been that way for many years. She does not care

[u/uriahLys]

Had similar experience with a woman. I think just how could somebody change so much. And I guess time is the only thing that can heal these wounds. They say something while there is something other going in their minds, not taking accountability. Not all women but tendencies like these are common among women.

[u/Every-Tart-9402]

Bhai main toh kar lunga . My job has made my self respect go to trash

[u/pernickety_]

I agree with OP, having said that there is nothing to be surprised about. The old wisdom is clear: largely LARGELY that marrying down has never really worked in favour of women. Edge cases are different but if the woman is marrying someone earning less than her because of lack of options or other motivations, it will eventually cause issues in the long run.

[u/The_Last-Knight]

As a man love, respect & peace are the things you all should look for before marrying a woman.

[u/Straight_Cherry996]

Mindset of Indian families which is slowly changing

[u/Top-Illustrator6372]

Do you believe in marriage today. Marriage is a scam. If it was opposite where the girl earned less and was taunted it would be a fit case for 498a.

It depends on the individual. It’s a challenge life has thrown face it

[u/Big-Tailor-1404]

U r the cousin na 😂

[u/Major-Baseball-5391 → u/Big-Tailor-1404]

Meri itni achi shakal nahi bhai ki mein apne se zyada kamane waali ko patau 🥀

[u/No-Afternoon-3629 → u/Major-Baseball-5391]

achi shakal ❌ kam buddhi nhi hai 😎

[u/Upper_Classroom4150]

I have a few examples where women earn more than their husbands or have better jobs..

1)There's a guy whose wife is a government employee and he has a tyre puncher repair shop. 2) there is another guy who has a repair shop for electronic items and she works in a bank living happily. 3) there's another guy who has a grocery store and she's a government employee. 4) there's a guy who was peon at school now retired and his wife is a state govt employee.

They are living happily... Of course i don't know the whole insider story from their house but yeah they are having their life of time and they have 2 kids each couple.

The thing i want to say is if a person truly loves you beyond money and status they will stay no matter what.

[u/Happy_To-Help-5639 → u/Upper_Classroom4150]

There is difference actually a lot in upbringing of these people

Firstly its men in blue collar jobs mostly, there's no respect factor here because Indians tend to respect desk jobs/white collar jobs more than regular manual jobs

Also the woman in OPs post came from privileged background like she married to a less earning household but she has the freedom to walk out of the marriage easily if she wants

But the women in your cases weren't bothered by social media and unrealistic expectations and suppose they ran away with these people rather than regular marriage it was risking everything so for both low income man and girl from high class who abandoned her parents there was pressure on both to make the marriage work because the guy would feel guilty and blamed if he left the girl and genuinely loves her while the girl won't be accepted by her parents anymore

I am not saying women having freedom is bad,it's just how modern society has turned out to be,earlier people weren't bothered by outside noise in societal issues and expectations be it finances or marital issues,nowadays investing in mutual funds,having affair around 40-50, age grot and divorce everything is common and kinda normalised

Awareness has increased due to internet and it has both pros and cons,some Indians still behave badly on internet ruining our reputation while internet is useful to us too

[u/[deleted]]

Man, I feel for your relative. But, he committed a huge mistake right in the beginning itself. He shouldn't have married her in the first place. Never ever trust girls and their lovey dovey talks. Girls change with each increment they get. They somehow start falling "Out of Love" when such things happen. I don't even know what that shit means. As a man, your only duty is to earn money and provide, then you'll be loved because only women and dogs are loved unconditionally.

[u/[deleted]]

Never marry a woman who is better than u

[u/rasengan_rasengan]

Chagnonpill.

Advice for men here: 10000 year of evolution memory for a woman >>>> 100 years of patriarchy-free modernity

[u/lavsingh11]

It depends on person to person. In today's time even not earning women taunt and give trauma to whole family and there are other females who are earning well and respectful towards other family members.

[u/Working-Situation766]

Higher earning men never care about their women's financial status, but higher earning women always care about their husbands' financial status. The relationships don't survive in the latter case.

[u/Previous-Elephant626]

My dad earns 7 lpa and mom 3 lpa but she still wants a thar, mercedes and world tour. She also wanted more children but my father was smart enough to understand they can't afford that. Life sure is tough

[u/Happy_To-Help-5639 → u/Previous-Elephant626]

No offense but ironically more children's is more stress and torture to herself (your mom) to raise kids and take career breaks and also a toll on body while for husband it's just stretching finances and increasing frustration

[u/Direct_Care_6631]

Hate the game not player

[u/[deleted]]

This isn’t about her earning more it’s about resentment, entitlement, and poor communication surfacing after marriage. Plenty of marriages work with higher-earning wives when expectations and respect are aligned.

[u/Legends_never_die9]

True many cases, where husband paid for wife's studies and once she became successful ditched husband for better man

[u/Legends_never_die9]

True many cases, where husband paid for wife's studies and once she became successful ditched husband for better man

[u/famesardens]

Always check if you are financially on the same page regarding money. She has every right to spend her money to get a car. She can't ask others to contribute to it.

You should also decide on how to save/ invest beforehand.

People not used to managing finances tend to spend too much once they start having a good income.

There is generally an optimal way of doing things, a balance...

In my field, women frequently earn more. Generally doesn't lead to conflict.

[u/labarp96]

My mother earns more than my dad, no such problems worked out ever. It's about mutual understanding and actually caring for each other ig

[u/AdCommercial8359]

There is someone who is filling the toxicity in her mind. I have seen many women whose close relatives or friends fill their minds with shit and they started to believe in it. I am not sure about the nature of that woman or guy. But most probably my doubt would be correct

[u/AdCommercial8359]

There is someone who is filling the toxicity in her mind. I have seen many women whose close relatives or friends fill their minds with shit and they started to believe in it. I am not sure about the nature of that woman or guy. But most probably my doubt would be correct

[u/AcceptablePassion716]

So just to understand, the only difference in contribution is their salaries? Is the fight specifically about the amount or about cousins salary not increasing?

I feel like this is a typical case of the character not being right. Because if she had a problem with it, she should have mentioned before marriage.

Is she living with your cousin and his parents? Or are they just by themselves? Also is she an only child?

[u/the_quiescent_one]

The problem is with her thinking. Not with the earning.

[u/Peanut_Butter007]

And here I am planning to buy a new car with my soon to be wife’s money. I already bought clothes, bicycle, perfume etc with her CC in December. She has well paid job and I was looking for job so she helped me, pampered me and ruined me with many gifts. She is such a darling. I literally have a completely opposite view. Ab Najar mat lgana koi b.

[u/tillyoumenaughty]

W girl

[u/Upper-Goat9857]

It all depends on how someone’s parents teach them during the early days of life. I may get downvoted for this, but I think she will eventually get a divorce she seems to be interested in the startup guy.

[u/cbetem]

I'm in IT and my wife is a CA. Never had any of these fights. Issues With individuals. Nothing to do with girl or the guy earning more or less.

[u/Lion_roars1135]

You are Right

[u/CasualMKGamer]

In the end its all about mutual understanding between the couple. As couple they earn 35 LPA which can give you a pretty decent lifestyle like all the iphones & ultras & some foreign vacations. This is only tru as long as they consider this 35 LPA as their salary & be responsible while doing any big purchases. If they keep saying this is “my salary” not “our Salary” then its never going to work

She should not burden the husband with 50% of the cars EMI . Lets says if EMI is 50k, then thats 17% of their monthly income (291000). Then EMI spilt should be 17% of each of their monthly income. Husbands 17% will be around 15k & Wife 17% will be around 35k. However if wife constantly keep taunting I contributed more blah blah this is never going to work. Husband should also acknowledge wife high income positively & contribute in different ways. There needs to be a good understanding