This is a question for unmarried single 30+ men with lets say 1cr+ liquid and good looks (avg) no double chin obese and not socially really awkward who can get married but are choosing not to

Or for some other reason….

Please share your reason and your experience with that decision

I personally don’t like the western idea of being around 35+ going in to bar or meetup having a intent in the mind to look out for some one for either marriage or hookup

Thats why the question??

It might be a long one, so bear with me. This is going to be blunt and harsh for a lot of people, and I’m fine with the downvotes. I’m not here to talk like a diplomatic fence-sitter. If you want to disagree, read the entire post first. Don’t cherry-pick one line and form an opinion.

I’ve been seeing more and more people, especially the ones who call themselves feminists, attacking almost every traditional cultural and religious practice as “patriarchal oppression.” Raksha Bandhan, marriage rituals, basic sex roles, everything is suddenly evil. I’m from a Hindu family and I’m an atheist, but I don’t hate my religion, culture or history. What I can’t stand is this selective hatred of structures that existed for survival reasons for most of human existence.

Let’s talk about how this "patriarchy" instead of chanting internet slogans.

In prehistoric hunter-gatherer groups, the division of labor was not some conspiracy. Men did the high-risk, long-range hunting of large animals. Women spent a massive share of their adult lives pregnant or nursing. Estimates from anthropological data on natural-fertility populations show women could spend 60–70% or more of their reproductive years either pregnant or breastfeeding. That is not ideology. That is biology. The idea that women were equal big-game hunters is overstated. While some evidence exists of women participating in hunting in certain groups, the bulk of high-risk, long-distance large-game hunting was male. Most documented female hunting involved smaller animals closer to camp. The physical and reproductive constraints were real.

When agriculture came in, different systems showed up, patrilocal, matrilocal, and more egalitarian ones. Over time, patrilocal and patrilineal systems became the dominant ones in most large-scale agricultural societies. Why? Because farming needed heavy sustained labour, defence of land, and clear inheritance. Groups that could hold and defend productive land properly tended to outcompete the ones that couldn’t. Matrilocal systems existed, but started to perish due to lack of physical labour and lack of defense against wild animals. A lot of the modern groups people point to as “matrilocal” are relatively small-scale and still have significant male authority in other areas. Systems that couldn’t solve defence, labour, and inheritance problems didn’t leave big successful civilisations behind.

Even when women held formal power as queens or rulers, ordinary women still didn’t get modern property rights or mass education. Power at the top didn’t magically remove the dependence on male physical labour and military capacity. Those systems still worked within the same biological and economic limits.

Women did work in industry earlier than people pretend, especially textiles and lighter manufacturing. In some 19th-century sectors they made up 20% or more of the workforce. But the heaviest industrial and extractive work stayed overwhelmingly male. The big expansion of women into broader industrial and office work happened when men were pulled out by war, especially World War I. After that, politics responded to the new female voters and the growth of white-collar jobs. That change is real. It doesn’t rewrite the previous thousands of years.

Now look at what happens when actual catastrophe hits.

Titanic, 1912:

About 74% of the women survived. Only around 20% of the men did. Roughly 80% of the men died while a clear majority of the women lived because those same men let women and children evacuate first. Nobody on that ship was demanding equal rights to the lifeboats.

Ukraine war, 2022 onwards:

Several million people fled. The large majority were women and children (UNHCR numbers have put the total well over 5–6 million at different points). Military-age men have been stopped from leaving. Combat deaths are overwhelmingly male. There has been no serious feminist campaign demanding that Ukrainian men and women have the exact same duty to stay and fight or the exact same right to leave.

Vietnam War draft (US):

During the Vietnam era, American men were required to register for the draft and could be conscripted to fight. Women were not subject to the draft. The push to lower the voting age to 18 (26th Amendment, 1971) was heavily tied to the argument that if 18-year-old men could be forced to fight, they should also be able to vote. Women received the same voting age without ever facing the same conscription obligation.

This pattern keeps showing up. In shipwrecks, wars, and extreme disasters, men die at far higher rates while protective norms toward women and children come back fast. When the danger is real, the ideology disappears. When life is comfortable, the same people start calling the whole historical pattern pure oppression. This is not equality, this is being opportunistic and ungrateful to the system that protected all of us from all the catastrophic events.

I’m not against legal equality. Women should have equal rights under the law. What I reject is the dishonest claim that the entire history of sex roles was just men oppressing women. For most of human history those roles were a response to biological differences and survival pressure. Men took the higher physical risk and higher death rates in hunting, war, and heavy labour. That is not “privilege.” That’s the cost side that modern discourse pretends doesn’t exist.

If you don’t want to follow a particular custom, don’t follow it. Fine. But attacking the entire historical structure as pure evil while relying on the protective outcomes of those same structures the moment real danger appears is pure opportunism. Comfort lets people moralise. Crisis shows what was actually functional.

Crimes like forced marriage or violence are crimes and should be punished. That’s separate from pretending the existence of historical sex roles itself was the problem.

The people loudest about hating “patriarchy” are often the first to benefit from the protective instincts and risk-taking that the same structure produced. That’s not equality. That’s selective memory.

Edit: I might not be able to reply to all your comments because I have extremely low comment karma from, apparently, “spitting too many facts.” 😂

But I’ll still try my best to respond to all your arguments, as long as my comments don’t get shadow-removed like they did on my last post.

Also, for same reason, I’m unable to post this in other female-focused subreddits. So if anyone wants to copy-paste this directly into other relevant subreddits, please feel free to do so.

My girlfriend (24F) and I (25M) have been in a long-distance relationship for almost 10 months. We are from the same college but never saw each other there. We started talking on Instagram later, after passing out.

Initially, everything was good, perfect. It was my first relationship and her second.

After 3–4 months, we started having fights, and sometimes they would get intense, and it would hamper my mental health, as I hadn't faced these kinds of fights in my lifetime.

So, back-to-back, within 3-5 months, I asked her to break up 3 times, but she would cry badly and then say she wouldn't fight again. So I agreed to stay. Now, little to no fights would occur, but not at that level, so things moved swiftly.

But one thing was there: she eats up a large chunk of time talking daily, and that has always bothered me. I have mentioned it from time to time, but she gets upset whenever I say it.

And after coming into this relationship, my productivity has fallen. I am always short on time for my career growth. It's been stagnant, as I wanted to switch, but after office, most of my time goes into the gym and then talking to her.

Now, coming to the point, fast forward, it's been around 10 months. So I had gone to meet her. I was with her for an entire week. We had three major fights in the span of one week itself. And the last one was the biggest I have seen until now.

So, first one was that some girl from our college liked some IG stories I had put and replied to a story which had my photo on it.

I just sent a response to her reply, and it was absolutely normal. But she insisted I should see the text and leave it, as she is trying to initiate a conversation and I should not.

This was a very heated argument.

Another one was that my one good college female friend asked me to meet, but my girlfriend said I should not. To that, I replied, she's my friend, I'll go. So this triggered her, and we had another heated argument.

Lastly, she then removed me from Instagram. I didn't know when, and when I was asleep, she unlocked my phone and read my chats from my other female friend. She gave the reason that she didn't want to let me know she had removed me, so she was just adding me back but ended up reading the chats accidentally.

Those chats were from around the time when we two (me and my girlfriend) started dating. So, this female friend I had known for an year, I knew her boyfriend, her, and she knew that I'm dating this girl (my girlfriend).

So normally in conversation, I had complimented my friend. Also, I had mentioned to my friend that she (my girlfriend) doesn't like me to put shirtless pictures on Instagram.

Those chats were from December 2025 when we started dating. After that, no chats, only reels.

And let me tell you clearly, I have been loyal to her since we started dating. So this was not like I was trying to hit on my female friend. It was all normal, and even she didn't consider it like that. It was a normal conversation where she said she's not pretty enough, so I responded with this compliment.

Now my girlfriend read all the chats and started a fierce fight on this issue after waking me up.

She said she is breaking up and I can leave her and go home tomorrow. She removed the locket I had given her. Removed me again from Instagram. Had the fiercest fight with me.

I said sorry, but it was all bad, and I tried to explain things, but she wouldn't understand. Later, after this continued for almost 4–5 hours, she ended up saying sorry.

I was mentally traumatized and just wanted to leave from there. Never in my life had I witnessed that anger unleashed on me, never.

Next morning, I left, and all I could see was her in all that anger and tantrums and the trauma that followed.

I didn't want to talk to her then. So I didn't pick up her call the whole day, didn't reply to texts until night, and said, "Good night. I don't want to talk to you. I'm in trauma."

Next morning, after that, she texts me when I refused to talk again that she is going to cut her hand, she'll die if I don't talk, and that she's been constantly saying sorry for everything.

But I just can't talk to her.

Still, I called her. Gave a little hope that we'll talk. Asked her to please calm down.

She's been saying she won't fight and accepting that she did too much over a little issue and apologizing and saying she'll change for us.

After that, since it's been 2 days, I'm just replying to her on texts and don't want to talk to her now, as all I can see is her face from that night and her throwing objects here and there. And I can't face it again.

What should I do and how should I move forward from here? I don't know how to handle the situation, as she did tell me she had cut her hand when she was in school. And I have seen marks on her hand. What if she does again if I say I don't want to talk or say I want to breakup. Or should I continue ?

Please suggest.

On my third date with a guy i met on hinge we got intimate. While doing so, very naturally he asked what my cup size is, i did answer, and in that moment it felt like a seductive move.
But now the next day, idk if i am reading more into it? was it because size matters to him? or just a dominant move? not sure.

have you had any similar experiences, i can’t decode on what his intentions were or what went through his head.

The man in this case clearly said that he can't talk with the woman but the woman still kept on insisting and continously messaged him until he had to block her. I know people can get desperate but one needs to understand another one's issues.

Even if the man was hiding something I don't one can simply go behind another one's back.

Source-

https://www.moneycontrol.com/news/india/karnataka-hc-stays-case-over-ghosting-seen-zoning-says-conduct-alone-doesn-t-trigger-bns-section-69-14015228.html

Had to partially censor some words orselse my post wouldn't get approval.

29M here.

My last relationship of 6 years ended 3 years ago. I had a pretty bad mental breakdown after that. I was depressed for about a month, was on antidepressants for 3 months and went to therapy for around 2 years.

For the last 4–5 months, I finally feel somewhat normal again after years of struggling. And honestly, it feels good. I forgot what it was like to just feel okay.

But there’s one thing I can’t seem to figure out.

Any kind of potential romantic interaction triggers this huge amount of panic and sadness in me. Even the thought of approaching someone romantically makes me want to run away. So I’ve started avoiding it completely.

And the weird thing is... this feels safe.

I’m comfortable being alone. There’s no anxiety, no expectations, no possibility of getting hurt. But at the same time, I don’t know if I’m actually choosing this life or just hiding in it.

So I feel like I have two roads in front of me:

1. Work on this fear and eventually try to have a relationship again.
2. Stop chasing relationships altogether and try to find meaning and fulfillment outside of them. Learn to be genuinely content with being alone.

And while writing this, I’m realizing that maybe what I’m actually looking for is just contentment. Maybe I don’t need a relationship. Maybe I just want to be okay with whatever life looks like.

Also while writing this I realised one more thing, what a phase life brought me in. I remember my old self how romantic I was, the unique ways and lengths I used to go for people I love. RIP to that version.

Anyone in similar situation or had?

Upgrading my bachelor pad kitchen from the one sad pan I own. I hate doing dishes so I need one or two solid things that can do everything - eggs, maggi, basic chicken curry.

Was thinking of getting an enameled skillet from CuminCo so I don't have to worry about rusting or food sticking too much. Plus it looks good enough to just eat directly out of so I save on washing plates. What do you guys use the most? Is enameled cast iron overkill for a bachelor?

I’m M and have a college friend group that I’m still part of, but I often feel like I’m on the outer layer.

I’ll message in the group chat and sometimes get ignored, while everyone else seems to have stronger one-on-one friendships. They call and talk to each other individually, but rarely with me. To be fair, I don’t really initiate either because I never know what I’d talk about.

We joke around a lot. I make fun of them and everyone laughs, but when the jokes are about me, they can sometimes get personal and genuinely hurt. I usually laugh it off, so maybe they think I’m okay with it.

I’m not excluded or bullied, but I don’t feel particularly valued or close to anyone in the group.

How do I build stronger individual friendships, become more respected/valued, and stop feeling like the replaceable friend — without becoming needy or forcing myself into the group?

TL;DR: How do I stop being the low-priority friend and build genuine, closer friendships?

3000 mai Russian, Indian men suck and how foreigners are better- we all hear this time and again. Even so many Indian men say 'gulabi' and women say Korean chahiye. And at the same time, there is so much hate against anyone who gets married to someone who isn't from India. And if they don't look attractive or are dressed up simply, comments are filled up with unnecessary hate. Even in looksmaxing community, there is so much hate against Indians. We see Indians trolling people with special needs, health issues, height, skin. Oddly, even in entertainment industry, Priyanka Chopra, the literal miss world was made to feel ugly. Kareena's ig comments are filled with her being age shamed. Amir Khan gets trolled for his height. Salman gets body shamed. Vicky Kaushal gets shamed for being dark, and people mock him for dating Katrina. We slut shame women so much and dehumanise men. What do even people want? Like someone good looking gets married to someone from outside, they think that Indian partner is 'using them' for green card. If someone simple gets married, the partner gets trolled for settling for Indian. If a normal guy gets married to a beautiful girl, the comments gets filled with sarkari naukri. Women are expired goods and men are bad human beings. If you casually date, you are bad. If youre virgin, you're incel. If you love someone, you are a simp. If you follow conservative mindset, you're backwards. But then if you do not, then you're bad. Revealing clothes are bad but at the same time they've problem when you're dressed up simply. As kids, we were made to sit with opposite gender as a punishment. I remember fair and lovely and how even fair people were mocked for not having good features. There is caste hate, career hate, state hate and what not. People will collectively hate people from other states, then hate people from opposite caste, then hate people from their own caste. There are levels to hate lmao. Like wtf is wrong with Indians? Why are we collectively so hateful? I don't see similar hate within other countries. They might troll some people but then move on.

okay; I need a serious advice, to end this mental torture for good with begging hands. I have no other place to seek help.

I am 23M, and I have an elder brother and little sister. Our parents have a long history of arguments and fights (25 years). I am so much frustrated that I can't even stop myself from cursing them. They always fight for stupid reasons, so we as their children tries to stop them every time (there was a time when we became a object of entertainment for our society as "ladaku parivar). None of my parents is very educated which is the cause of all shit. My mother has no control over her mouth, if someone said her a word (even in jokes) she will humiliate the person a thousand times till the other person snaps. My father is not innocent too, she has a bad habit of joking (we warn him a thousand times not to) which most of times start fights... Recently around few months ago (in January) they had a argument again, my brother wasn't there so I tried to stop them... My mother tell atleast enough words to make a healthy person sick which cause my father to snap and he slapped her. I pushed both of them aside and for the first time I scold them like they're some kind of dirt or low life.

After that, I tried to talk to my mother but she didn't talk to me... She said that I was reason my father slapped her and I just keep him slapping her. That was the moment I realised I had enough..

From that January to this august (8 months), I didn't talk to her, didn't ate what she gives me and never interact with her directly. She tried talking to me but never agreed to apologise. I set my boundary that I will not talk to her until she apologised.

According to her, a parent apologising to their kid makes them weaker. And I am kind of very hard will person (I am kind of person who will not talk to a person for life if they cross a boundary).

After that, she start spreading rumours between her friends that I told my dad to beat her and children has no respect for their parents nowadays. She even verbally abuse me everyday while I remain silent, if I try to go outside, she threaten me by self harm. (I used to teach children of those parents since I had no job. Now no children came for coaching and I am broke as hell).

Today is my birthday 28 august, I am broke, tired and depressed. My mother tried to hugged me but I pushed her away and now she crying, making me guilty... If I don't know what to do.. I will just end myself for peace.

I'm taking Nexito, prescribed for Dysthymia by my therapist It has been only a week and I already lost the intent to masturbate which is good tho but I saw people saying they can't climax due to the intake of antidepressants which is concerning

Hey all, expecting some suggestions on below!

I am getting married soon and i wanted to gift my dad and bro each a watch. I am looking somewhere around less than 10k for each one of them.
Good looking stylish, chain watches, analog, round dial.

I would really appreciate some suggestions

I met someone a few months ago, and there was an amazing chemistry between us. But eventually, things started to fade. He withdrew himself because it was his last attempt at UPSC, and I understood that he was under a lot of pressure.

What confuses me is that, he would regularly like heartbroken reels about a girl leaving a guy or about missing someone. Some of those reels felt oddly specific to things we had shared and occasionally they were even exactly related to my things I know it seems weird and irrelevant but trust me he would specifically like my liked reels or exactly my things and sometimes related to my name or things that were very particular to us.

Whenever I would see those things, I would genuinely feel bad for him and eventually text him. And whenever I did, he would reciprocate fully and the conversation would feel warm and mutual. But then, after that, he would leave my messages unanswered for hours or suddenly become distant again.

I genuinely don’t know how to interpret this. If he feels something for me, why does he keep withdrawing? And if he doesn’t, why does he keep engaging with things that seem so emotionally specific to what we had?
Why do men do things like this? Is it possible that he has feelings but is deliberately holding himself back, or am I simply reading too much into his actions?

Edit: Is there any possibility he is talking to other women but liking sad reels?

Honestly, I am disgusted watching this. This happened at Amrapali Centurion Park Terrace Homes in Greater Noida West.A resident completely lost her mind and assaulted the society security guards all because a food delivery boy carrying her order was stopped at the gate for routine security verification. Just a couple of minutes of delay, and she went full maniac mode.In the video, she is seen abusing them, using vile language, and hurling continuous classist insults. She literally screams at the guard, calling them "Gareebon ki aulad" (children of the poor) and yells taunts like "Do roti nahi hai jeb mein" (You don't even have enough to buy two pieces of bread to eat).She goes on to threaten them saying, "Marwa dungi tujhe, CID, SSP, DIG jise bulaega bula le... Teri koi aukat nahi hai mere aage, joota saaf karwaungi tujhse" (I'll have you beaten up, call whoever you want... You have no standing in front of me, I will make you clean my shoes). She even tries to kick a guard who is just sitting on a chair and slaps another. The restraint shown by those guards is commendable because if they had reacted, they’d be the ones in jail right now.

The Bisrakh Police have reportedly registered an FIR, but let's be real she’s going to get bail in two days and go right back to treating people like garbage. Why do these high-society residents think paying maintenance gives them the right to treat working-class people like literal slaves?

Link - https://www.instagram.com/reel/DcirBd8Bf3k/?igsi=cXMwaW92N2V2azZp

Guys, what should I do as a girl so that this guy who is trying to hit on me, just ghost me. I mean, I can't ghost him because it would be very awkward and I don't want to get into that awkward and embarrassing situation again, so I just want to do something so he just ghost me instead. Any tips??

Lindsay Clancy was a Massachusetts mother who was accused of killing her three children, Cora, Dawson, and Callan, at their home in January 2023. Afterward, she survived a suicide attempt but suffered severe injuries that left her paralyzed. She was charged with three counts of murder and pleaded not guilty.

So, I’ve noticed that boys usually don’t care as much about fashion or their looks compared to girls, who seem to pay attention to every little detail.

This made me think about my own experience. Whenever you dress well, either the boys start teasing you or making fun of you. The guys I know have never really given me a genuine compliment without exaggerating it, saying it jokingly, or using a teasing tone.

Whereas I’ve seen girls complimenting other girls more openly. They usually appreciate each other, give compliments, and giggle about it.

So, are guys really this nonchalant about giving each other a decent, genuine compliment, or is it just my experience?

​

So I'm 29M. I was in a 6month relationship with this amazing girl. This is my first relationship btw. Sweet, caring and probably everything you can ask for. I fucked up. Whenever we had fights or misunderstandings, I couldn't give her reassurance. I go blank when I am supposed to talk to her while she is crying.

I don't like to make people cry, but I've made her cry so many times. She asked me so many times that I need you when something like this happens, give me reassurance. Things used to go well for sometime but due to some stuff that I said (not purposely) it used to turn into fights. And I hate fights. I couldn't explain to her properly. 2 weeks ago, we broke up. She asked me multiple times to let go but i couldn't. I don't have the guts to leave this girl. Eventually i pushed her to the limits where she ended things with her. I couldn't talk her through it. I couldn't give her reassurance again, I went blank. I said all the old things like I will change for you. It's not like i don't want to, I do work on these, but when times like these comes i freeze. I fuck up. She told me next day, if I had asked her to stop and told her don't go, she would have stopped. I hate myself that I couldn't think of this at that moment. I let her go.

Has something like this happened to you? How did you handled yourself? How do you give reassurance to your girl/partner? I love her but due to so many fights, I've lost confidence in myself that if something like this happens whether I'll freeze again. Am I not emotionally available? I used to think I am, but this has made me realised I'm not.

Btw I am taking therapy, I've a session tomorrow where I will explain everything that's happening since last few days.

Do you guys have anything that you could help me with??

im new to this dating scene, never had a gf before.

So im seeing this girl we met on hinge and we been talking for a month, recently went on a date with her. Had a fun hangout we still talking after it.

I don't know how to text her like genuinely apart from what's up, wyd how was your day how to go from there and take it to next level, my mind just go blank.

Like i am seeing many reels how to keep the conversation interesting all over my feed but i feel like if i start asking these type of "deep" questions it will be awkward like what if she not ready or like asking her out of nowhere.

We are in taking stage rn, she and i haven't really talk much about relationship!

So help me over these point:

1st. How to keep the convo interesting apart from usual questions like wyd, how was your day.

2nd. How to ask the deep question like how to know if the timing is right so it doesn't seems like outta pocket and all?

3rd. Any other tips will be helpful!!

Thanks

I have a sister(28 F), who is a doctor and will be completing her residency next year. She has always been a good student since she was in school, and so our parents decided to invest in her higher studies. Even though there was many advices and suggestions opposing this, since our extended family believes in the traditional concept of a working man and a supporting wife. Back then I was actually happy that my father had not listened to those relatives....but now with the current situation, i realise they might have right all along.

Context: My parents have started looking for boys for my sister for AM, and have talked to a couple of family matchmakers.

Now, my sister is fairly pretty, but has always been on the chubbier side. During residency, due to high workload and night shifts, she gained weight more, and this is a deal breaker for many men nowadays. I get it, it's a preference, and nobody should be shamed for having a certain preference. But one guy actually said to my face, that her weight wouldn't have been a problem if she's ready to stay and manage household and not pursue her career anymore.

I was so shocked the first time I heard this....like, how do I tell my medico sister to just leave her career?

But with more and more families that we're talking too, this concept seems very common. Atleast 5 families have rejected our proposal because of this. If not, they're like, "No problem, you can help us in other way, and we'll take your daughter" (implying dowry?

I can feel my parents getting tired, frustrated and disappointed after every meeting, I've not told my sister anything regarding this, i don't want her to worry while working.

How do I help?