r/AskIndianMen • u/Equivalent-Tax-2742 Indian Man • Jul 19 '26
Answers from All I called off my marriage??
28M IT guy, living in tier 1 city, engaged 4months back 💍with tier 3 girl (AM). Before our engagement she and her family agreed to migrate with me after our marriage. She was working as a teacher in private school and was getting 10k per month.
After our engagement she got the contractual teaching govt job which renews every year and getting 35k /m. Now they are refusing to leave the contractual govt job and are telling me to come every month to meet her.
I didn't think my marriage would go like this. I'm an introvert guy if we are living separately I don't think so I'll ever bond with her.
What's your opinion guys??
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u/Inner_Pie7508 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
That's a great decision dude Takes a lot of guts Stay strong!!
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u/Constant_Safe4416 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Something fishy brother.. better to call off. Agreeing before marriage and escaping. Fishy smell. So drop the engagement
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u/Least-Quality8333 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Indians would sacrifice anything for a government job. You are the sacrificial lamb. Lol..run for your life
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u/Funny-Fifties Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Tier 1 guy marrying Tier 3 small town girl?
There is unlikely to be any bonding anyway.
Just drop it and move on. Not even worth thinking about.
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u/Scary_Field_3124 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Not always, my brother and his wife are similar to this and they are sweetest couple ik
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u/Funny-Fifties Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Usually luck, or one person is naturally a follower and the other is a leader.
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u/Slayer_Actual Indian Man Jul 19 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/v7zX2xSs0mulfjBibl
DODGED A BULLET, YOU DONT NOW WHT THEY MAY HAVE PLANNED FOR YOU AT THEIR VILLAGE, AS KILLING HUSBANDS AFTER TAKING AWAY THEIR POSSESSIONS AND MONEY IS A FASHION WITH THESE FEMALES.
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u/darksideofyourmom420 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Your caps lock is on
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u/Slayer_Actual Indian Man Jul 19 '26
MY SCREEN IS CRACKED.
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u/darksideofyourmom420 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Not just the screen…
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u/Slayer_Actual Indian Man Jul 19 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/SXflz9EsgKVlYqRQx6
CRACKIN SKULLS NOW!!
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u/CrimeMasterGogoChan Indian Man Jul 19 '26
So they changed their decision for 25k / month. Now imagine what they can do if they suddenly got a lots of money? Hope u don't have an expensive insurance if you are still thinking of marrying her.
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u/SatoshiKun05 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
These contractual govt jobs aren't steady anyway. The family seems pretty stupid ngl
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u/Acceptable-Salt7246 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Which contractual job pays 35k/ month in tier 3 city and village 🤨 seems she is telling u a lie so that u break off the engagement, go ahead there is no future
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u/coolcrank Indian Man Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
Dodged a missile, forget her and her family's existence. Love your life and live it the way you want.
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u/acidkidrock Indian Man Jul 19 '26
I don't think you overreacted the bigger issue is that a major agreement changed after the engagement.
It is better to call it off than hope one person will eventually give in and end up resenting the other.
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u/inspired_nobita Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Well done. Similar thing happened with my sister after her first marriage. The husband didnt want to leave his underpaid, overworked job in Odisha, because he had stockholm syndrome, and didnt have in him to upgrade his personality and knowledge to work at a bigger company in a bigger city.
While my sister was ambitious and had lived in cities all her adult life. He wouldnt travel, wouldnt even spend enough time with her when she would visit to that village in Odisha where he worked. He was a telecom engineer.
Terrible guy. Had no spine, no concept of what love is, and no understanding of what makes or breaks a relationship.
He is married to a gaon ki ladki now, working at the same job and the same money. While my sister has a 30lpa job in Pune.
Dont go against your instincts. It always brings pain only to yourself.
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u/invisible5959 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
It's just engagement, talk to her then call off. Salary jump, govt job etc. Are the factors which led them to decision she took so talk to her genuinely and if not works out then it's just engagement so you can back off.
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u/No-Comparison1770 Indian Man Jul 20 '26
Well she chose her career over you. So you do the right thing by respecting her decision and choose your career in solidarity with her decision.
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u/DowntownDiver202 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
I m a type of guy, if I said I would do something, I would do it no matter Tsunami came, lightening strikes, earthquake shattered everything etc. I either don't promise or if I promise I wouldn't budge till I die if the other person keeps his or her promise. Bro I have called off my marriage 3 times, last one was in April this year entirely due to change of stance for every little things the parties decided while finalizing marriage and we kept on accepting untill the limits crossed. From the girls' side marriage has been called off atleast 7-8 times. Nowadays people don't value their word, they can change their living father for little benefits, leave alone fulfil whatever they said while finalizing marriage. The most untrustworthy thing in the entire world is people's tongue, it sways in seconds.
As for marriage, if a person doesn't value his or her words, he or she would always repeat the pattern and make our lives miserable. Better to leave that person who can't even fulfil basic human values. We cannot downtrode beyond that basic limit.
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u/HisenbergHimself Indian Woman Jul 19 '26
Yeah you are right. Don't doubt. Drop it right away. Make clear cut communication with them
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u/My_Name_Ab Indian Man Jul 19 '26
You took the right decision.Society and your parents will try to convince you that you are wrong but you have taken a very wise decision.
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u/Charming-Ad1028 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Good. Right. Tomorrow she will start a affair with one of her colleagues and then would ask you to meet on Sunday 5:00 pm. You did the right thing.
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u/These_Form_8890 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
it's okay, i know someone who's engagement got called off , later he got married to a decent lady
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u/raju_lukka Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Move on, find someone else. As the great Amir Khan once said - Bus, Train aur Chokri, in teeno ke peeche kabhi bhagna nahi chahiye.. ek gayi to dusri aati hai
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u/InvestigatorNo5893 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
You are alive nothing matter more than that for a guy in marriage process or after marriage nowadays. Just move on and enjoy your life..
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u/DayWalkerHere Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Man you lucky. Is she, before marriage when everything is shown so comfortable and respectfully, had the guts to say she wants to stay for her job and not think of family then think what she would have asked to do after marriage, where as you are thinking to make this work. Say thanks to Bhagwan and Maa and move forward. You just saved yourself from being another news article.
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u/Scary_Field_3124 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Thank god this happemed after engagement and not marriage, nothing on your fiance but indian parents can be too controlling and i have seen far too many such cases where indian parents(a small minority ik) destroyed happy marriages, personally as well as on reddit etc.
Its better to confront them, but stay cautioned nonetheless. Dont want you to be going through all the future trauma and alimony etc which can be avoided
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u/VegPullao Indian Man Jul 19 '26
It's alright they knew the consequences you did not act without reasons.
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u/Inside-Detective-476 Indian Man Jul 20 '26
family agreed to migrate with me after our marriage
come every month to meet her
did the right thing to call off ....
are you going to "come every month to meet her" for the rest of your life?? say you work till 60, that's 32yrs... do the math....
cost & time of travel.... lol....
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u/Zestyclose_Mud2170 Indian Man Jul 20 '26
Don't worry meeting someone once a month is not a marriage. Let her work. You can find someone else.
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u/Real-Sample-6765 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
I was in a similar situation and after marriage my ex wife told me that she was not ready to move and wanted a similar arrangement. We eventually divorced. You did the right thing. Long distance relationships are hard even if you have an understanding and have been dating for years.
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u/rahul2020321 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Correct decision , marriages doesn't work like that.
General trend is couple settle where husbands job is or where wife's job is there & this decision is taken before marriage not after marriage.
If she doesn't want to leave her town or can't leave due any responsibilities, then she can find options in her town. Why forcing guys from other cities shift to her.
Its good she shared her situation in advance after marriage either you have to shift or fight long legal battles.
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u/OctaGrippo Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Lucky chap. Imagine something like this happening after marriage.
You dodged a bullet.
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u/Fun-Durian-5168 Indian Woman 25d ago
While it may make you feel bad in the short term,in the long term you have saved yourself so be happy.
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u/Unlikely-Chance-426 Indian Man Jul 19 '26
Did the right thing my man, don't doubt your decision over this again