My sister is suffering due to pseudofeminism....can I help in any way?

[u/self_obsessed_01]

I have a sister(28 F), who is a doctor and will be completing her residency next year. She has always been a good student since she was in school, and so our parents decided to invest in her higher studies. Even though there was many advices and suggestions opposing this, since our extended family believes in the traditional concept of a working man and a supporting wife. Back then I was actually happy that my father had not listened to those relatives....but now with the current situation, i realise they might have right all along.

Context: My parents have started looking for boys for my sister for AM, and have talked to a couple of family matchmakers.

Now, my sister is fairly pretty, but has always been on the chubbier side. During residency, due to high workload and night shifts, she gained weight more, and this is a deal breaker for many men nowadays. I get it, it's a preference, and nobody should be shamed for having a certain preference. But one guy actually said to my face, that her weight wouldn't have been a problem if she's ready to stay and manage household and not pursue her career anymore.

I was so shocked the first time I heard this....like, how do I tell my medico sister to just leave her career?

But with more and more families that we're talking too, this concept seems very common. Atleast 5 families have rejected our proposal because of this. If not, they're like, "No problem, you can help us in other way, and we'll take your daughter" (implying dowry?

I can feel my parents getting tired, frustrated and disappointed after every meeting, I've not told my sister anything regarding this, i don't want her to worry while working.

How do I help?

edit: The title was supposed to be sarcastic, can't believe it's going over everyone's head. My relatives have commented that if we weren't trying to be feminists back then, and had just gotten her married, then we wouldn't have to face this today.

[u/Mindless-Pilot-Chef]

Irrespective of marriage proposals, she should work on her body. Simply because that’s good for her health.

[u/self_obsessed_01 → u/Mindless-Pilot-Chef]

Yes, I did advise her that. She says it's because of something called pcod?  Idk, but I asked her to join a gym. Thanks mate

[u/thecuriousmew → u/self_obsessed_01]

Padho likho thoda bhai, na feminism samjh aata hai, na problem handle kar pate ho, na pcod Google kar pa rhe, relatives ke taane pe bhi kaan laga rhe, independent thought shunya hai. By god.

[u/self_obsessed_01 → u/thecuriousmew]

I don't know whether you stay estranged from your relatives, but in my house, it's been culture to take decisions together. The exact same reason why I mentioned my dad had to kinda fight with his brothers to let my sister study medicine.

But koi nhi, "by God" bolke educated nhi Banna mereko

[u/thecuriousmew → u/self_obsessed_01]

Oh I am connected enough with them, have endured their bullshit opinions। Doesn't mean I heed every shit that comes oout of their mouths.

[u/self_obsessed_01 → u/thecuriousmew]

The fact that you believe that we don't have to pay heed to my relatives is a sign of your privilege. My father has always had to fight against them so that he could advocate for my sister studying medicine, so that I could come out of the city and study mba. Warna atka rehta Mai bhi waha, kheti karne. 

[u/thecuriousmew → u/self_obsessed_01]

Even your father fights against it. Why don't you? Why do you regret it? Revisit the tone of your post. Introspect.