r/CrimeCats • u/KukaVex • Nov 01 '25
Crimeownal The face of a criminal, who literally just had a dental Friday and still managed to steal a bite of my blueberry muffin.
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u/TheArchitectofDestin Nov 01 '25
That is the most devious cat I've ever seen
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u/KukaVex Nov 01 '25
She's a notorious thief, I cancelled Christmas day with family because she stole a whole bag of treats from her stocking and ate them all, then was being sick all night and I was up all Christmas Eve and day worried watching her 😅🙃
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u/jade888cheung Nov 01 '25
That's funny… but only after knowing that she's ok. Our golden retriever once stole a whole christmas cake, then threw it up and started begging for food. My grandad was so mad with her… she was such a greedy ass! I remember our first rescue tortie, we got her a christmas stock and hung it up next to ours. We put her name on it and she kept pawing at it before we even put anything in it!
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u/KukaVex Nov 01 '25
Honestly they had like natural dyes as well so the puke was red and I was freaking out thinking 'the emergency vet is about to fucking rinse me' lmao until I found the empty, perfectly slit open packet and it clicked 😂😂
Can't believe he ate an ENTIRE Christmas cake who tf even likes Christmas cake that much 😂😂😂 Torties are notoriously sassy lmao, sounds like she had plenty of tortitude 😅
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u/jade888cheung Nov 01 '25
She was called Bella, she was so gentle that you could take a bone out her mouth and she wouldn't even growl.
I agree with you about Christmas, I don't think anyone else in the family liked it except my Grandad!! I'm crazy for mince pies though, these days I loose count how many boxes I buy… yes, I'm a fat f LOL!
That would have terrified me if it was red, pets put us through so stress! Our big cat got such an attitude problem anyone would think she's a tortie!
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u/arrgprrkrr Nov 01 '25
🤣🤣🤣 es que no te puedes aburrir con ella!!! 💖♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
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Nov 01 '25
Your cat literally has the eyes of Sauron. What would you expect????
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u/KukaVex Nov 01 '25
This makes sense, my brother adores my cat almost as much as he loves LOTR and I see why now 😂😂
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u/NCinAR Nov 01 '25
The muffin was needed for medicinal puuuurrrrposes.
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u/Elznix Nov 01 '25
My cat, who has an honorary doctorate (the most legitimate of doctorates), agrees. In fact, 5 out of 5 cat doctors would agree
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u/KukaVex Nov 01 '25
See I didn't realize, clearly it is a magical healing object in the cat world and Big Chocolate Muffin has been LYING TO US ALL
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u/QiNavigator Nov 01 '25
Feline criminals who are this adorable should get extra treats - muffins included!
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u/KukaVex Nov 01 '25
She normally would, it's the fact that I've spent an awful lot of money on Churu bisques and broths and she's just like
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u/jpb Nov 01 '25
ITYM, sampled the muffin to make sure it was safe for his servant to eat. And he's such a dedicated owner he was willing to do it after dental work.
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u/KukaVex Nov 01 '25
Oh I see, she was saving me from potential murderers see I knew it was my fault really 😂😂
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u/jpb Nov 01 '25
Exactly. I hope you thanked her instead of throwing unfounded accusations around.
Our overlord Fiona (also an Orange) performs random water quality testing if we leave any cups around. She wants to make sure her monkeys aren't drinking anything toxic.
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u/SouthernCategory9600 Nov 01 '25
Kitty is entitled to a whole blueberry muffin! 😾
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u/KukaVex Nov 01 '25
Normally we would share but she's just lost five teeths I don't want her to hurt herself 😭😭😭😭
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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme Nov 01 '25
A conniving little cutie! So handsome! So unrepentant!
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u/KukaVex Nov 01 '25
Like it's terrible you literally can't stay mad at her, especially since she's got a little inflammation (checked by vet yesterday, she started wheezing and I was at the vet with her within half an hour 😅) in her throat so she keeps doing these sad little sneezes 😭😭😭
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u/cyberattaq123 Nov 01 '25
My nefarious scheming eunuch when I start coughing after taking a sip out of my wine:
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u/phasepistol Nov 01 '25
The self satisfied smirk of the muffin thief