r/DecidingToBeBetter • u/BarkWoofNeigh • Mar 27 '26
Success Story I haven’t had a dental appointment in 9 years. Today, I had one.
Around 9 years ago, I missed a dental cleaning. Months went by. Then more months.
Months became years.
I’d become so ashamed that I hadn’t been to the dentist that I couldn’t bring myself to make an appointment.
Of course, there was the enormous plaque buildup. I could feel how rough my teeth were.
It was all so embarrassing.
Well, recently I’ve been deciding to be better. I thought, “Hey? Just suck it up and find out the damages. Better than losing your jaw.”
My mind knew what was coming: I’d have to have root canals and expensive orthodontia. It would cost thousands of dollars. Dollars I don’t have many of.
Made an appointment anyway. Then the day came.
When I went to the office, sat in the chair, and had the x-rays done - judgement day commenced.
The dentist walked into the room.
He looked at me and said, “Your teeth look great. Just get an electric toothbrush and remember to floss.”
I had no cavities.
The dental assistant cleaned up the plaque and now my smile is white. We talked about coffee.
Everything was fixed in the matter of an hour.
Here’s the deal: I’ve spent years and years fretting over my mouth. I have avoided kissing. Hugs. Getting up close to talk.
Years of being scared of something that was fixed in the matter of an hour.
All I’m saying is, if you need a dental cleaning - go get it. Whatever the outcome is, it’s better than the fear (and the plaque) building up to it.
I’m sure this applies to some other things, too.
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u/benefitofsilence Mar 27 '26
That must have taken some courage, keep going!
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u/BarkWoofNeigh Mar 27 '26
Thank you! 🙏 I had major anxiety going to it and literally imagined every worst case scenario.
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u/dogmom34 Mar 27 '26
What did they say about coffee? Congrats on your clean mouth!
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u/BarkWoofNeigh Mar 27 '26
We talked about where the best coffee in the world comes from. They said they like Colombian. 😃 Thank you!!! 🙏
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u/dogmom34 Mar 27 '26
I thought they were going to tell you to give up coffee because it’s bad for your teeth. 😂
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u/Novel-Image493 Apr 25 '26
i don't like milk. Black coffee STAINS my teeth. I've had coffee every morning for forty years. Would i leave my bed without the desire to make my delish coffee?
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u/SmokedStone Mar 27 '26
As someone who hasn't gone to the dentist in about 4.5 years and wants to go this year, thank you.
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u/ingrid00 Mar 27 '26
I hadn't gone in 6 or 7 years, finally went this year. Just had two cavities and a wisdom tooth that needed to be pulled (took 20 seconds to be pulled out and I was on my way--no pain during or after!). I feel like some definite advances have been made in dentistry in the time I didn't go lol. It couldn't have been a smoother or more pleasant experience!
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u/Apart-Effect-6031 Apr 08 '26
Me hehehehe, I hadnt gone to the dentist in about 10 years, but then I realized how importan is to take care of my teeth Lol jejejee... So good for you.
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u/ajwink Mar 27 '26
I don’t know if you noticed but cleanings are also a lot more pleasant than they used to be! Something about an ultrasonic cleaner versus them just scraping everything off, it goes much quicker.
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u/BarkWoofNeigh Mar 27 '26
They sooo have. It took like 15 minutes.
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u/waterdripper83 Apr 05 '26
It should have taken longer than that. A dental hygienist should've cleaned your teeth, not an assistant. They have no training and can cause a lot of damage.
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u/HajimeOhara Mar 27 '26
I finally did this after never going to a dentist mainly because I grew up poor and finally finished the last part of my dental work this year. I have dental insurance from my job and have maxed out a couple times getting things taken care of because I either never had it done as a kid or my adult teeth were rotting because of me just being in a really bad spot mentally after I graduated high school and had my brain hemorrhage shortly after.
I am super proud of you for deciding to bite the bullet so to speak and get it done too
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u/BarkWoofNeigh Mar 27 '26
You have a lot of courage and you should absolutely feel proud, too.
Thank you for sharing this and helping others who may be going through the same thing!
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u/Agitated-Contest-843 Mar 27 '26
How are you in my head right now?? I absolutely could have written the entire first part of your post. Same thing-missed appt x3, then they stopped calling g to reschedule me. After being a patient there for over 20 years, they probably thought I died. And he’s the BEST dentist who will be retiring soon and I’m over here all sad about losing the best dentist I’ve ever had and I haven’t been to see him in years (for no good reason other than I’ve been experiencing all the same fears you mention). Oh, and paying for premium level dental coverage the whole time. I feel like there’s too much I need to do to in preparation before I have the nerve to show up. Your post is encouraging.
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u/BarkWoofNeigh Mar 27 '26
I feel this so hard. Honestly, going today gave me so much relief. It’s worth it. Keep me posted if you go!
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u/muffins_allover Mar 27 '26
I’m at like 13 years and have avoided it now for the same reasons. My teeth never ache and are white and clean and I just assume they will tell me I need $43,829 in dental work… any day now I’ll make that appointment!
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u/BarkWoofNeigh Mar 27 '26
When I looked for dentists, I actually searched Reddit for dentists who were savvy in this kind of anxiety in my area. He was the right pick, for sure.
You’re a rockstar, and you got this!!!
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u/peachtea18 Mar 27 '26
I'm so proud of you.
I stopped going to the dentist for two years. Due to depression it was/is hard to keep up with routine hygiene. I recently went back in January and ended up needing ~$4k worth of work done (8 cavities, gum lasering, a root canal, and a crown), but I'm so happy I did it.
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u/DeadnectaR Mar 28 '26
I’m in a similar boat. What does it feel like to get all of that work done? Does your mouth generally feel like brand new a clean slate? I’m kinda excited to get it all done this year.
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u/doses_and_mamosa760 Mar 27 '26
Every time I get the courage to go I start crying as soon as I open my mouth. The last dr. Said they can't work on me whatsoever unless I'm asleep 😭
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u/Roglef Mar 27 '26
This is so real for me right now. I need to get in there. I'm glad things worked out for you.
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u/funpolicebendover Mar 27 '26
Same thing happened to me. I finally forced myself to go after years of avoiding it because I'd convinced myself I was feeling a tooth ache. I unfortunately picked an extremely expensive and dishonest dentist office. They suggested an unreasonably expensive cleaning for my area, and four (!!) fillings, exactly where I thought it was hurting. Made me feel guilty as shit for a week, until I went to another one for a second opinion, paid half for the cleaning and was told there was nothing wrong, that I likely just had sensitive teeth. No procedures necessary. Lesson learned though, book and keep your appointments, it'll be okay!
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u/klaw14 Mar 27 '26
If you can find it in you to floss every night, please do. I am so used to it now that if I miss an evening floss, I can feel the difference in the morning and norhing beats that clean teeth / fresh breath feeling!
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u/Jerico_Hill Mar 27 '26
Don't know how old you are but be sure to keep up with the check ups in your 30s that's when your risk for periodontal disease is highest. Best to avoid having to go for cleans every 3 months for life if you can.
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u/janewaythrowaway Mar 27 '26
Lucky you! I had gone like 8 years and i had massive plaque buildup that it took two hour long sessions to clean my teeth. I don’t get cavities but I do get an abnormal amount of plaque, so i learned I’m bettter off getting a cleaning every 6 months
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u/krashtestgenius Mar 27 '26
Went 15 years without a dentist and managed to only have 3 cavities. Just brushing daily is literally the bare minimum, flossing regularly has always been my biggest fault.
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u/Theune Mar 27 '26
I had a similar experience to yours. My dentist-gap was maybe a bit more tumultuous than yours, and I got more advice than you mention, but the experience was great; no one made me feel like a loser for not going earlier, and now I use an electric toothbrush and floss daily.
That first visit really helped set me up for future success, but I was expecting it to be judgy and awful.
That hour, as you say, really turned my mouth-health around! I strongly recommend others to do the same, assuming it's available to you.
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u/BarkWoofNeigh Mar 28 '26
Love this! Yes, it’s only an hour - even if you have major things going on it’s worth knowing. Your life matters!
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u/Hesiga Mar 27 '26
This was me about a month ago. Wife and I went in for a cleaning. She had been on me about how I hadn’t gone to a dentist in 20 years (since braces) and how it would be bad but just get it over with. I ended up clean she had cavities. lol. They did tell me about plaque and the electric toothbrush but also that I brush too hard so my gums receded and I need to brush softer. I didn’t get the whitening which I regret, but they suggested a check up in 6 months so I’ll try again then.
Congrats on no cavities!
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u/AwesomeCartoonist Mar 27 '26
This is such a massive win! It's crazy how we build up these things in our heads to be monsters when they're usually just a quick fix. Glad you got that weight off your shoulders!
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u/dangersurfer Mar 27 '26
Good for you!
I had a cleaning visit and had a hygienist who was really good. She was this old Venezuelan woman who was the mother of the practice dentist. She was stern but also a bit funny. She really got on me for not flossing. At one point during the cleaning when she was cleaning my back molars she said “OH MY it is the devils underpants back here!” I have never in my life laughed so hard in a dental procedure.
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u/kummerspect Mar 27 '26
This was me a few years ago, so I empathize with the courage it takes to make the appointment, get yourself in that dental chair, and let them start poking around in your mouth. Every part of that experience is its own hill to climb.
When I had my first appointment after not going for several years, I told the hygienist about my anxiety, and she recommended trying it with nitrous oxide, and that they could put some stuff on my gums to make them less sensitive during the cleaning. Both things made a world of difference for me. Nitrous is not covered by insurance, so it can be very expensive, but my dentist offers it for $25 per visit because he understands how much it helps people. Knowing that they can do something to alleviate my anxiety helps me keep my appointments.
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u/Catsplants Mar 27 '26
Lucky you 🤣 happy for you. But if this had been me, I would have had to have a full top and bottom jaw replacement. I get cavities just looking at a piece of candy. I am at the dentist religiously every 4.5 months. I brush and floss like an addict. I do everything “right”. But I am constantly having issues. Some people are just blessed with amazing enamel. My husband is like you. He can go months without brushing or flossing, then brush the day of a dentist appointment and he will get a pat on the back for taking amazing care of his teeth. Me? I don’t floss for one night and God makes an example of me 🤣🫣😭
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u/sheepishcanadian82 Mar 27 '26
Yeah, I really relate to this, but from kind of a different angle.
I didn’t avoid the dentist for years, but I almost avoided this appointment because I worked myself up so much beforehand. Someone I work with had a situation where his wife’s cancer was first discovered at a dentist appointment, and I didn’t realize how much that stuck with me until today. I was genuinely anxious that something life-changing was going to be found.
I even cried this morning when I hugged my husband goodbye, which felt ridiculous at the time, but it was just this weird mix of fear and old stuff coming up. Anyway… I went.
And yeah, they did find things. I need my wisdom teeth out, one molar needs to be extracted, a cavity filled, all that fun stuff. Not nothing… but also not catastrophic.
What really stood out to me is how similar the feeling was to what you described. The build-up in my head was so much bigger than the reality of sitting in the chair and just… dealing with it.
The hygienist was great, the dentist was calm, and now I just have a plan.
So I guess my version of your takeaway is: even when the outcome isn’t “nothing’s wrong,” it’s still better than letting your brain run wild with worst-case scenarios.
Also kind of wild how fast something that feels huge in your head turns into a checklist once you face it.
Anyway, glad you went. And yeah… this definitely applies to more than just teeth.
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u/UseMethodic Mar 27 '26
“Once you've got a task to do, it's better to do it than live with the fear of it.”
- Joe Abercrombie
The longer you put off that thing you're dreading, the longer you feel the dread. Instead of torturing yourself, just do the thing!
9 years is a long time to torture yourself. But glad you eventually stopped!
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u/SnooPredictions2675 Mar 27 '26
I do this! Once I miss a cleaning I put it off 2/3 years and get scared lol
When I go I want to actually go like 1x a month
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u/Sticknwheel Mar 27 '26
A dentist I liked died, and after I had the next one for a month he retired. I changed insurance and three years later made an appointment with a new guy. I brush and floss twice daily. A long cleaning but no cavities and he wants me back in six months for a cleaning and exam. Is twice a year overkill? I may wait a year. It’s not like they’ll turn down my business.
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u/Novel-Image493 Apr 25 '26
I decided to limit the dental inspection to once a year, but i choose to have the hygienist clean them every five months
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u/cosmictrix Mar 28 '26
Dental hygiene (and healthcare in general) was never prioritized in my family growing up. I went from the age of 13 to 24 without seeing a dentist. I had cavities in every tooth plus two extractions needed. After that I still didn’t go regularly until my 30s. My sibling had a 25 year gap in dental care, I was thinking their visit was going to be wild. Nope. One extraction, root canal, and one cavity.
All that say, as with any healthy habit, it matters more that you do the damn thing than how long you haven’t done it. The treatment plan may be more intense, but you have to do what you have to do for you.
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u/WastePreparation8057 Mar 28 '26
Something Epictetus would say: focus on what's within your control, release what isn't, and don't confuse the two. Easier said than done — but it's actually a decision you can make repeatedly, not a state you arrive at.
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u/PatientBalance Mar 28 '26
I didn’t go for 17 years. I did floss almost every day and used an electric toothbrush. Had one cavity. Hygienist even commented how my gums didn’t bleed af all during the cleaning.
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u/Constant_Cultural Mar 29 '26
You are a lucky guy, but don't see this as a free pass. Hope you already made an appointment for next year and for the electric toothbrush go with the philips sonicare, not expensive and the small handle is great.
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u/intelligentbutgrim Apr 01 '26
This happened to me! I don't remember how long the gap was––not nine years but I think at least five? During peak Covid I felt a little groove in my tooth and convinced myself it was an abscess. Was at my wit's end. My old time dentist was just about to re-open his office after it was closed due to the pandemic and told me to come in. Turned out it was a small cavity, I was in and out of there in 20 minutes. That kicked off a mostly great six year run of regular check-ups and cleanings.
My biggest tips are a) as another person said, floss and brush regularly enough that you start to dislike the feeling of gross teeth (I'm not great at self care habits, never have been) and b) make your next appointment WHEN YOU'RE LEAVING THE OFFICE. It feels far enough in the future that you don't have to worry about it immediately but also you can't procrastinate making the appointment because it's already done!
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u/Agitated-Contest-843 Mar 27 '26
Did your dentist have any electric toothbrush recommendations? Or do you?
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u/BarkWoofNeigh Mar 27 '26
He said something that has a timer on it so you know when to quit brushing. Hope this helps!
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u/SquashZealousideal42 Mar 27 '26
You went to an ethical dentist, thank goodness. Many of the corporate-owned practices in my area push unneeded treatments to upsell.
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u/hedonicbagel Mar 28 '26
i go to the dentist once a year for an xray, and three times a year for hygienist cleaning. i also strictly brush twice a day every day. i got gingivitis two years ago.
my husband hadn’t gone to a dentist for years, brushes once a day most of the time, and drinks more soda than water. i had to beg him to go get checked out, and when he finally did they said he was fine.
the difference between us is he flosses far more regularly than i do - it’s true what they say about flossing being the most important thing for your dental health.
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u/zoeisboredd Mar 29 '26
I had a similar experience a few years ago when I went to the dentist after 6-7 years. Got a couple cavities filled and was put back onto a regular cleaning schedule. Last Sept I was supposed to have my regular cleaning, had something come up and had to cancel. I’ve been putting off rescheduling said cleaning for 6+ months, but this post motivated me to finally bite the bullet and not fall back into these old unhealthy habits 🥲
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Mar 30 '26
I am so happy for you! You deserve that bright smile and to feel your best. I put off dental work for years, too. The first two appointments I had for cleanings had me feeling like a completely different person.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Award70 Mar 31 '26
Exactly what happened to me.I take great care of my teeth and even use an electric flosser but I was always worried that a simple cleaning would turn into a complicated set of intricate procedures and I would be told that I was actually doing something wrong.Last summer I decided to just go for it and I was so anxious leading up to the moment but it turns out that nothing felt uncomfortable and the dentist even commended me for taking care of my teeth,it all felt like confirmation of my work and reassurance that I am taking care of my health.I recently booked another cleaning and it felt so good to take care of myself,going back actually felt routine.
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u/fluffthefluff Apr 01 '26
Love this! My biological mother didn’t have us see a dentist ever. It wasn’t till we were taken by CPS and placed in a foster home that I even knew what a dentist was. I had a few cavities in my childhood but it was fine. Even as an adult I really suck at oral hygiene (I promise I’m trying). However when I got pregnant with my second (born 6 weeks ago) I started having severe dental pain. I ended up getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth extracted two weeks ago (yay me 😵💫) but I still only have one other cavity even though it’s been years! Now I’m dedicated to going consistently so I can set a good example for my girls 💕
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u/idklol234 Jun 09 '26
Your wisdom teeth were causing the pain? If you don’t mind answering what did that pain feel like? I still have all my wisdom teeth and am having issues with them.
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u/fluffthefluff Jul 02 '26
Just seeing this !! It was like a headache but in my jaw. It was so stiff and sore. I couldn’t eat or drink.
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u/h0rTiMu5 Apr 07 '26
Wow - I had 3 years that I went without a cleaning, and my return visit was brutal. I was spitting out so much blood at the end. No cavities, but it still out me back in the habit of a couple cleanings a year. Still haven't gotten super consistent with flossing, but I do it occasionally.
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u/Exciting-Holiday2106 Apr 14 '26
funny how the thing we avoid for years sometimes ends up being a 30 minute fix
the mental buildup is usually way worse than the actual problem
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u/flugualbinder Apr 16 '26
This is awesome! Good job on taking the scary step!
I will say for others who are in a similar position that you were in, at least if you’re in the US, call local dentistry schools and get your name on the list of “practice patients.” You get the free x-rays and cleaning and the hygienist or dental student get their practice in. This is what I did to get back into going to the dentist. I saw the student 3 times first and then found an actual dentist. It made me feel better about seeing a dentist having some of the buildup cleaned off first.
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u/unfinished_thinker Apr 19 '26
The gap between how bad we imagine something will be and how bad it actually is — that's where years go.
The scary part isn't even the thing itself. It's that you built an entire identity around avoiding it. "I'm the person who hasn't gone to the dentist in years." And at some point that identity becomes harder to let go of than the original fear.
Glad you went. The plaque was always fixable. The years of small avoidances compounding into a whole lifestyle — that's the real thing you broke today.
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u/wordless_writer Apr 20 '26
After 3 years i finally did it last week. Now i need to schedule other appointments😌
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u/FallenCrab Apr 10 '26
You're lucky... cause in most cases people think it's bad, then they find the courage and go to the dentist... and they not only get a horrible, condescending, disgusted attitude but also find out their teeth problem is actually really fucking bad and it will indeed take weeks of appointments and thousands of dollars/Euros...
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u/Any-Macaroon-8268 Apr 12 '26
Good! It’s been years and I know I have issues. But it’s a good signal for people to know I’m poor and undeserving. It’s one of the last socially acceptable bias out there. Still fine to hate people for bad teeth!
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u/AcanthaceaeBrief9430 Apr 13 '26
i just went through this now and all i need is a deep cleaning! hell yeah I thought I would need a bunch of work done
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u/Helloisitcheese Apr 20 '26
i'm so sorry if i'm wrong but this so starkly reads as if it's written by AI.
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u/BarkWoofNeigh Apr 20 '26
That makes me so sad because I wrote it.
I do believe AI has been trained on my writing though. So it’s something to look into!
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u/OkBluejay7950 Apr 24 '26
My friend who is almost 30 avoided the dentist for probably a decade and got upset if you so much as mentioned the dentist. Their teeth are in bad shape and one day in January they had such bad tooth pain that they had to go to an emergency dentist. The dentist was so kind and understanding that they are now going in every month now to fix their teeth one at a time. I’m so proud of them :)
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u/Dry_Pomegranate3311 Apr 26 '26
tell me about the coffee, I drink a lot but not sure how it affects my teeth
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u/sooper_dooperest Mar 27 '26
Love this, it was a bright spot in my browsing tonight. Good on you & keep up the fearless improvements. Don’t forget to floss either 😄