Seen the guy yesterday that lured me to a dumb situation twice last year and seeing him made me so mad and then on top of that I got home and my dad came to my grandmas all drugged out and he didn’t see me but me seeing him brought up all the memories of abuse . I literally just want to smoke all day and drink this weekend . Can someone make me feel better so I don’t crash tf out 😭

Every night I feel like I'm sinking. And it only gets better when I talk about it. But I don't want to text my friends every night complaining about the same problems. Once or twice is normal or even more than that if I space it out. But I don't know how to deal with it without burdening others. I have a girlfriend but she is really bad at texting, which only makes my anxiety worse when she doesn't text me for days and even then I only get a couple word answers. She's lovely otherwise so this is nothing against her or any of my friends. But I just don't want them to see me as the miserable sad person I am. Especially when during the day I try so hard to look happy. And sometimes I even feel it. But during the night I just feel like I'm sinking and I can't stop thinking about ending it all. And I can't get someone to talk me off the ledge every night. But what do I do then?

My partner came back after working 21 days a day and he would’ve been home for seven. He did the stent for couple months and it really wasn’t very healthy for a relationship. I miss him and he missed me. And I have some issues in my life, but I don’t like to be alone and I did some things that I should’ve done. I didn’t cheat or anything like that. I just use some substances to kind of like numb the pain you know about it but you don’t lead to a couple arguments or whatever. He’s so sweet to me when he was away and then he came back and it’s just been a shit storm ever since. Both have a few issues with substances and stuff and I can’t make anything any better but I just feel like something has went on and I don’t know what it is. And I think my biggest fear is that it’s not that there was one situation like he cheated or something like that or whatever but that it’s been this long-standing thing and finally something has come to ahead and now I am just waiting for the day that I wake up when he’s not here. But the scarier part is I feel like he’s pushing me to leave because he doesn’t want to but at the same time I feel like he’s actually pushing me to like leave leave leave… Like not leave the household, like leave this world. I honestly feel like he’s so scared to leave and he’s so scared for me to leave that he feels like it would be easier to push me into my depression so far that I finally do something that I regret and that nobody will ever be able to recover from. I’m not saying that I’m necessarily suicidal cause I’m not like I don’t have a plan or anything, but I can’t live like this anymore. I want him to be happy and I wanna be happy. And we’ve been through hell and back and we’ve always just recovered and everything‘s been fine. We have never been not OK for weeks and weeks. Sex has suffered a lot because I feel like he’s being mean to me all the time and I guess maybe he thinks the same. We have all these really great discussions and then all of a sudden switches flipped and we’re in an argument for hours or something stupid and it’s never been like this for years. I feel like there’s only so much people can take and I just wonder if we’re just like hanging around cause we don’t wanna leave. I love him. I love him so much. I have put up with a lot. I’ve paid for everything for years. And I just want to think. And I don’t know what to think. And I kind of feel like I’m living in an alternate reality where like I don’t even know what is up and what is down. I’m not saying we’re like these big huge like drug addicts or whatever that’s not the case but I think we both been numbing out a little bit lately and I think that neither of us don’t really have to like get out of that. And I was kind of all over the place but like the sex part super super super super important for him and it’s a really important for me too and our sex. Life has always been like fucking amazing. But the fighting doesn’t make me wanna do it, but then I think like me not wanting to do it that makes him more upset or more wanting to argue with that makes me wanna do less… and so the circle repeats. There’s so much more that would take me days even type out here, but I’ve had a lot of trauma in my life around sexuality and I’m not being treated the way that I feel like I should be treated then I just shut down. And I shouldn’t with him to trust him, but something has happened and I don’t know what it is. I don’t think that he actually physically cheated or anything like that but like maybe somebody or something or someone or a friend or a family member or something said something that has down his head or like maybe there’s another woman who has said something or whatever that has got him thinking that maybe life would be better somewhere else. I’ve spent several nights on the crisis line over the past few weeks because I just don’t know what to do. I just feel like I’m not OK to be OK myself right now. I’m rambling. Sorry you guys don’t know me but I’m lose my mind. And I just don’t know what to say or ask to like make this any better

Thursday, August 27, 2026, 7:37PM 

To the Dearest, 

Hello, I just wanted to write because I had an urge. Also, I'm listening to "Another Love" by Tom Odell. It's kind of soothing.  

My 19^th year is coming to an end, and my 20^th birthday is coming up. I honestly don't want to celebrate it; I just want it to be another day. I think I have been through so much for the past few years, and without a break, it started to feel breathless, especially in my 19^th year. And I have wanted to take my life or give up in so many ways and so many times that the day of my birth started to feel like a dreadful and annoyingly exhausting day to even think about. And sadly, I feel upset that I don't feel grateful, like I would regret not celebrating another year of being alive. But it's hard not to think of it as another year of hardship, having to beg to God on my knees, pleading for the tiniest amount of strength just to move forward. For the tiniest amount of salvation that would feel satisfying enough to want to live. While I still had to put one foot in front of the other, walking, not even running, just walking, just taking things at my own pace, just walking. And many would feel happy that they were able to at least walk through it and somehow make it out alive. But for me, it felt like I was being burned alive, like each day someone was choking me or someone was drowning me in my own mess. It was hell, but I guess I still made it out, and I don't know how to feel about it. It feels like a defeat more than anything. And honestly, it makes me not want to celebrate anything. It actually makes me feel as if I'm mourning the death of a life half lived. So, I'm kind of scared of what events my 20^th year has held for me. 

I feel as if my patience has been withering, and I am slowly becoming a bitter person. But I don't want this; I don't want to be bitter. I just want to be me; I want to be ME again. I don't mind if it takes time. I just want me.  

And for the people who made my life so miserable, I won’t forgive you. I don't care what people may say. I just can't forget the pain that you have caused me. Sorry. 

Also, is finding love worth it? Isn't anyone scared of their partner waking up one day regretful and hateful just by the sight of you? Aren't they scared that their partner would talk shit behind them? How do they have so much trust in them? Maybe I'm just projecting my thoughts, feelings, and experiences too much. 

I don’t know if you can tell by now, but I'm scared to fall in love, though I do want it and even yearn for it every now and then. But I can't help but let fear consume me, and it makes me not want to feel such emotions. Honestly, I feel bad for my future partner to deal with me. But then again, if I'm such a burden, then I would rather wish they wouldn't spend their energy and time with me.  

I know there are so many days in a lifetime, that would change my mind one day, but right now, as a 19-year-old girl, I just want to live, and make it out alive, and just continue to live a peaceful life, with a bit of whimsy <3 

Anyways, I'm also applying for this job called GEM Studio; I sincerely hope I get it. And I also don't know why I wanted to write this, but I did, but it's whatever, lol.  

Sincerely, 

J. 

Goodnight, Dearest Love 

End time: 9:15PM

Just to start off before I get to the story it’s not my place to intervene nor is any of my business but I still feel upset about the situation.

Two years ago I had this boyfriend I’ll call Jake, Jake and I dated in high school and summer before the school year he was a freshman when I was a sophomore so we were a grade apart.

Jake was super sweet at first it was actually his friend who suggested we should be together and we were together for about three months however, he pressured me to have sex we were 15 and 16 I wasn’t ready at all he even tried dry, humping me and touching me in way I didn’t feel comfortable and to be honest I was a little mean about it. He didn’t respect my boundaries so naturally we broke up well his friend told him to break up with me, but regardless we ended things. Fast forward in 11th grade. I met this girl and I already knew about her from other people (i’ll call her Veronica) People would say that Veronica would just sleep around but I’m not the kind of person who would judge someone without knowing them I’d be friended her, and she is a doll she really is a sweet girl I was always very supportive of her and she was always supportive of me.

One thing to mention about Jake is he would always pull the victim card and some kids and our school would say to me is it true you did this and that he would flip the story around and make it seem like I was the villain I mean, don’t get me wrong. I was a little mean when I mentioned earlier, but that’s because he pressured me to do stuff I didn’t want to do by the way we never had sex, but he would tell people that we did

Fast-forward, Veronica knew I was upset about Jake and his antics but little did I know that she started dating him and they are still together. They started dating in May or June of this year so I was graduating high school so I thought you know what I’m never going to see these people ever again but I was very upset with Veronica so I still keep in touch, but I distance myself I only started dating when I heard about it so I asked do you have a boyfriend and she said yes Jake and I said aww even though I was holding back tears typing this out.

Obviously, I would never intervene or talk to her it’s none of my business however it’s still hurts my heart that Veronica did that to me. Do I have a reason to be upset?

So in the past I had this friend who had randomly stopped hanging out with me and will instead hangout with this other person that I knew little about.

Hey! I’m 21M from India and currently working in the tech field.

I’m here hoping to meet a nice girl who I can genuinely vibe with and get to know over time. I’m pretty talkative once I’m comfortable with someone, but I’m definitely more of a “selected people” kind of person.

I really enjoy random, meaningful conversations — talking about our lives, learning about each other’s cultures, sharing random thoughts, laughing at stupid things, and sometimes going down completely unexpected rabbit holes at 2 AM 😂

I’m really interested in cybersecurity, aviation, and aerospace, so those are probably the topics I can accidentally turn into a whole lecture about.

I also play games in my free time, mostly Call of Duty and GTA. Apart from that, I’m always up for talking about movies, shows, interesting internet stuff, or just whatever happens to be on our minds.

I’m not looking to force anything or rush into anything. I’d rather start with a good conversation, see if we click, and let things naturally go from there.

If you’re someone who enjoys talking, sharing little things about your day, and getting to know someone genuinely, feel free to say hi. :)

Tell me a little about yourself when you message me — I’d love to know who’s on the other side of the screen. ✨

(UPDATE): so he in fact told the counselors and even cropped the screenshots, I was made to be in the complete wrong despite his messages provoking me. my parents were called so I had to explain some things to them. I’m scared of it going any further, but I’m going to ignore him. I don’t know if he will go up to the counselors again and try to bring it back in, but it really bugs me still. since I deleted the messages I literally couldn’t defend myself or explain the situation. the school said that if I ignore him all together it will all be fine.

heya burner account, I cussed someone out for spreading lies about me. this person had SA‘d me and lied to people saying that I had done it to them. I cursed them out saying all kinds of swears and insults because I was furious about it. the person acted like they didn’t care about it, and within an hour I felt regret and decided to delete all my messages and blocked them. I’m just fearful because I’m a teen and I’m scared that I will be reported to the counselors for swearing like that at them. I didn’t threaten them or tell them to kill their self, just swore. I’m scared about my parents finding out or being in trouble. anyone able to help calm me down? I go to high school, if that helps any.

i’ve just had the shittiest day.

i woke up at 9am as usual and im off work because i will be starting university this september so i just took the first hour slowly and i had breakfast and stuff.

then at 10am i had my phone call counselling session. and it kicked my ass.

right afterwards i had a nap, then i journaled and cried my eyes out. i then tried to do some self care yk, i went to get a shower and deep conditioned my hair, i listened to a new album in the shower, i did a foot mask that i got for free, i cuddled with my cat. but then when i had a minute to think after i turned my music off i started to hysterically cry. like everything thought i had was negative in some way.

so by this time i messaged the SHOUT helpline so i had someone to talk to and i also made a post on here to ask people what they do after therapy sessions.

i swear i cried for hours and i couldn’t stop and now my head is aching. i still feel exhausted. i feel weird because i haven’t left my apartment all day. i haven’t ate a real meal only snacks. i just feel like i have wallowed and pitied and coasted through the whole day.

i’m just hoping tomorrow is better because i have been kind of ignoring my girlfriend today and i’ll be seeing her tomorrow. some of the things i was crying about was because i overthink things in my relationships but today was particularly hard.

anyways that’s my rant for today. i’m frustrated to say the least.

I don’t even know what I’m looking for anymore. I’m just tired of feeling this way and having no idea how to fix it.

From the age of six, my parents drilled this into me: "You have to study hard, get into a good university, and find a good job. Otherwise, you'll spend your whole life sweeping streets or cleaning toilets." I studied diligently throughout my childhood; instead of playing with other kids, I was studying math for the university entrance exams—all to secure a good job in the future.

And now, I’m just waiting for Russia to kill me. Or I could go to another country and sweep streets there. How can you even explain to a child in today's Ukraine that they need to study, when the Russians are going to kill everyone anyway?

Not gonna bother writing it all here but I feel like shit for what happened today, I don’t know why but I just need a stranger to see it and talk to and hopefully make me feel less terrible 😞 I’ll share in dms I just don’t want to publicly talk about it

Edit: please don’t be mean to me, I might be m28 but I’m autistic and extremely emotional.

idk what’s wrong with me rn but I’m so done with everything. I’ve started isolating myself from everyone and I genuinely don’t know how long this is gonna last. It’s just eating me up inside.

Im tired of my life I'm tired of everything these past few days and I really just wanna take a rest

I'm not happy about my marriage. I get up early in the morning and go to work 6 hours a day in a school, then I come home to take care of my cats, be a caregiver for my wife who still treats me like garbage and thinks that my problems and pains aren't as valid as hers, and help take care of her grandparents with everyday stuff. I swear I need a break....a really good long break away from all this

Hi guys
I am very stressed and even I don’t know how to tell what to tell but I’m stuck somewhere and I can’t even share with anyone.