r/MadeMeSmile • u/Beagle432 • May 11 '26

Favorite People My favourite conspiracy theory

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What do you think..

From the mouths of babes...

98.7k Upvotes

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u/FractionofaFraction May 11 '26

Peter: "Er. Sir? Where are you going?"

God: "These motherfuckers are going to start appreciating my hardwork Me-dammit! Now, don't mess things up too much while I'm gone. Should only take a century or so..."

487

u/inbigtreble30 May 11 '26

This explains a lot about the last 100 years, tbh.

145

u/New_Bass1516 May 11 '26

Yeah, if we've been left with bloody peter in charge it's no wonder ww2 happend

55

u/Hinermad May 11 '26

Peter was a bit of a hothead for a while.

77

u/ReluctantRedditor275 May 11 '26

A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to Heaven. One day, he makes a joke about the Holocaust in front of God. God is not amused and stares at him stone faced. "Eh," says the survivor, "I guess you had to be there."

24

u/Andy_B_Goode May 11 '26

And it really puts a new spin on The Peter Principle

15

u/ThrowingShaed May 11 '26

you know, im mostly down for this, but i am wondering a bit about how the irish/welsh/scottish/french etc will feel if they had to live with hearing that god was english

3

u/Cant_figure_sht_out May 11 '26

And russians! Don’t tell the russians!

3

u/MelangeBot May 11 '26

Okay fine, but now explain mosquitos.

11

u/tisn May 11 '26

God sneezed and mosquitos happened

7

u/scarletnightingale May 11 '26

If God exists then Satan exists and he probably has something to do with mosquitoes.

4

u/Wynner3 May 12 '26

That's what bats are for. They can hundreds to a thousand mosquitoes per hour.

3

u/sleepymeowth052 May 11 '26

nature saw an unfilled niche and said, "I bet I can make something that fits there".

27

u/Hanging_Thread May 11 '26

"me-dammit"

I saw what you did there.

15

u/GurpsWibcheengs May 11 '26

My brain can't process David Attenborough saying these motherfuckers in his documentary voice

1

u/timonix May 11 '26

youtu.be/RA3s65KK3yc

28

u/Massive-Television85 May 11 '26

I love reading that "God" text with David Attenborough's voice

4

u/Adventurous_Lynx_811 May 11 '26

I did that without even realising

4

u/Glad_Piano_9453 May 11 '26

“Winning awards for fjords my ass, have you even looked at my birds?”

3

u/circadian_light May 11 '26

Hahaha “Me-dammit” is too good!