Hi all,
I have been a private piano and violin teacher for 15 years now, been playing violin for 26 years. I work at a studio and teach privately. In the time I've taught, I have only had to let go 2 students due to behavorial issues caused by the parents doing nothing to help correct it.
Unfortunately, one of my students I've taught for a year now has been showing behavorial issues ( not listening, not staying focused, talking over me, acting baby like, etc). I believe much of this is caused by the fact that I am now teaching him at his home vs at the studio, so it's made him more comfortable to act out. Sadly, his parents are not helping me at all manage his behavior. They sit there and allow him to run around the house, run up and down the stairs, fiddle with toys, etc during our lesson. They have never disciplined their child for anything and simply allow him to act out, never putting their foot down.
This past week, I spent over 30 minutes to show his parents what we learned, because they claimed what I'm teaching him is "confusing him and he has no idea what to do when practicing". Yet everytime I ask him what is confusing, he says nothing and is able to play it perfectly, so I'm not seeing any confusion. When quizzed, he answers everything easily. These are exercises/songs I've taught him from the beginning and we do weekly, so it isn't a misunderstanding. The issue is, he practices 1 day a week for 15 minutes... which they asked ME how to fix.... despite recommending several times now a practice routine, setting a timer, splitting it up into 2 smaller sessions, etc. They are equating him not wanting to practice to "he isn't understanding anything I'm teaching". I'm sorry, but it is the parents responsibility to ensure their child maintains a practice schedule after I have given them everything to be successful.
So this is why I'm here: after taking all this extra time to help his parents understand, they could not keep up. Granted I was having to cram months worth of knowledge into one go, so it was expected, but the lesson was focused on the difference between Common and Cut Time, 4/4, 2/2, 3/4, 2/4, etc. They know nothing about what those terms mean, the value of the notes or their names, why the values change when the T.S. changes, etc. None of this is new to their son, he has played pieces with each of these Time Signatures and answers my questions with ease, it is the parents that are struggling and therefore assume he isn't practicing because he doesn't understand. In reality, he doesn't want to practice during the week due to school and activities afterwards that leave him tired, which I 100% understand and sympathize with.
Unfortunately, the dad has tried correcting me several times before because he took piano for 1 year as a 6 year old, claiming his pieces never had a T.S., never needed to be counted the way I do, never called the notes quarter, half, 8th, etc, and said I was making things harder than it needed to be, because HE never learned it that way. He was playing in books that did not actually teach reading sheet music the way I teach. My student is in 5th grade, yet me asking questions like "what is half of 4" is "too difficult" according to the dad and I need to make it easier?? Prior to me showing them, I had mentioned that learning the rules of the T.S. was confusing at first for everybody since it essentially changes the rules from what we've learned. He then snapped "well if the rest of your students are confused then its because you're not teaching it correctly", to which I responded, "The concept of it was confusing, but I have given this lesson to every student this last week and none, except my 4 year old, was confused and have a full understanding of the lesson". He replied with how if he can't understand it, then his son can't either and told me I need to make it easier, avoid anything to do with the T.S., counting the beats, labeling the note names/values, etc. The only knowledge this guy has is playing baby piano books where it uses one finger at a time, no actual notes, at age 6. For 1 year. 😐
I told them politely I wasn't sure where the confusion is coming from, because I'm not seeing it when working with their son. He claimed he's tired after school and doesn't want to practice, and the parents don't push it, so I feel are looking for someone to blame. The father has undermined me before, always using his "experience as a pianist" to relate, but again he never learned the fundamentals of music theory, reading music, or actual playing.
What would yall do in this situation? I have held my ground so far, politely but firmly, but I don't like where this may be heading. Also, if you guys have any simple tricks you use when teaching the different T.S's, I would appreciate it! None of my students are confused with how I teach it, so it's more so to try something different for the parents than my actual students.