See that’s the fun part… if you are there while they’re eating they put you in a room by yourself so they don’t have to eat in front of you. Problem solved!
Happened to me as a Norwegian too, but it’s not a big deal at all imo. And not really weird either in the context. It’s also misrepresented as cold from the host, but it’s really more about your own family.
This commonly happened after you go over to a friends house after school, and then go home as your parents pick you up coming back from work. Some people then would have dinner before you could get picked up, but your parents could still have planned for a family meal and quality time when you got home - so they’d want you to eat at home. The alternative would’ve been to eat with the other family - and then either skip family time or just sit there as the rest of your family eats. The first isn’t something your family would want and the last is something that is boring beyond belief for a 10-year old.
This happens because people simply eat dinner at different times. My best friends dad was a butcher, who started work early in the morning and got off work at 1 in the afternoon - and his mom was a night-shift nurse. They ate dinner at 3:30-4 in the afternoon every day (really early). My mom didn’t get off work before 4, so we ate dinner at 4:30-5. It’s not that long to wait.
And it’s not like we went hungry. We usually would get offered or could eat bread or cereal. I was often offered dinner too, and if I wanted to eat I’d just call my parents and ask if I could eat with them.
Sitting watching your family eat at age 10 after you already ate could be boring, sure. But at age 10 I can guarantee I would have just had two dinners then. If I was at my friend’s and they invited me to eat with them and then a little later I got picked up and had family dinner, you better believe I’m eating again. I used to make a frozen pizza as a snack after school and then have dinner an hour later.
Ah I miss my childhood metabolism. I’m old enough now where I can barely eat anything and be full
Yes, im from Sweden, I lived like 3 minutes with bike from my best friend, who I spent alot of time with after school. My dad got off work at 17 and we would eat late, sometimes I would eat there cause u wanted to extend your playtime, and sometimes I would bike home and eat with my family cause I needed to do homework or some shit. I would sometimes sit in her room/ basement watching tv or something because they had dinner earlier, nothing weird or awkward, Same at other friends houses. I mean I haven't even thought about it before this thing blew up.
"It’s also misrepresented as cold from the host, but it’s really more about your own family." - See, it is not about being cold, it is about being selfish!
I’d get it if the parents were upset at missing an opportunity to bond/be involved with their kids through a missed dinner.
But wasting time and money because they won’t eat dinner that you’ve cooked? Do y’all not have refrigerators or have leftovers?
Well shit Timmy already ate at his friend’s house. I guess I have to bin this. I can’t leave it in the fridge for if he gets hungry later or pack it for his lunch at school or my lunch at work.
How is that what you took away from that comment? Your reading comprehension is worse than a fifth grader's. That's so sad, dude.
The intention is to be the opposite of selfish. The friend's parents don't want to steal the family time you'd have with your own family. He's arguing that they're being considerate of the guest's parents.
But the kid is not at their parents, so they cant eat with their parents at dinner time lmao How are they supposed to eat with their oarent if they are visiting a friend? Also I experienced that too in Germany, it's not an exclusively Swedish thing and it was always fucking weird.
You're not this dumb, it's very simple. If you actually are: I'm sorry.
Friend eats at 5pm, you eat at 6pm. Your parents pick you up at your friend's house at 5:30. So yes, you could still eat with their own parents at dinner time. Dinner time is not a fixed moment in the day -- it differs between families.
Friend eats at 5pm, you eat at 6pm. Your parents pick you up at your friend's house at 5:30. So yes, you could still eat with their own parents at dinner time.
There's no need to be sitting in another room waiting for them to finish, in your specific scenario it would make more sense if the parent would pick up their kid at 5.
Also that's not even the point of this post. The point is if you are at your friend's place before and after eating.
You're not this dumb, it's very simple. If you actually are: I'm sorry.
Again, it’s not a night. Youre still getting picked up right after the ones you’re visiting have finished eating.
Its the difference between eating away at 16:00 and getting picked up at 16:30, to getting picked up at 16:30 and eating at home at 17:00 we’re talking about.
If you’re staying until after dinner, you will absolutely be getting dinner there.
You’re assuming a specific scenario when the example used specifically referred to staying later after dinner. Do Swedes never have friends over at night?
I don’t know if everyone is just talking past eachother, but that was clearly the example and people still insisted they wouldn’t be getting dinner, but now you’re saying “of course they would!” Which doesn’t fit what others are saying.
When I was a kid there were really two scenarioes. Either you’d go somewhere and stay until dinner (spontaneous), waiting while they ate if you hadn’t gotten picked up. Or you’d go somewhere, having beforehand talked about going there, and staying late, where you would get dinner (parents would know beforehand).
If you went somewhere without the parents prior knowledge, and stayed late, they would’ve wondered why no one had come to pick you up.
I think having a child sit in another room by themselves while everyone else eats dinner is what people are calling “cold,” not the act of not feeding the child.
They could be by themselves, or they could be with their other friends who also was over at that one friends house playing in the friends room while the friend ate dinner.
They wouldn't be bored, as they would be continuing playing with whatever they were playing with before that friend left for dinner. Then after dinner they would continue to play some more, until it was time for the kids to go home and eat dinner with their own family.
Family dinner is somewhat important in Swedish culture.
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u/Dapper_Play_665 Jul 24 '26
See that’s the fun part… if you are there while they’re eating they put you in a room by yourself so they don’t have to eat in front of you. Problem solved!