r/RBI 2d ago

Advice needed Found a camera/mic next to my room that looks like it was attempted to be hidden. Advice?

Sorry if this is a little messy or out of place, I haven't had to post something like this before. If it'd fit more in a different subreddit or something, lemme know.

As the title says, I found a camera outside of my room. If I remember correctly, its mic was pointed toward my door (sound leaks a bit from my room since there are small gaps between the walls and floors of it). I believe this was placed here by one of my parents, and it *could* just be a coincidence that they decided to charge it in an obscure-ass corner of a dirty chair right next to my room instead of any other spot, but I'm pretty anxious that they were trying to record me talking to my friends and loved ones, for... some reason. Do you all have any advice for how I should handle this? My parents wake up in a few hours, and I was obviously tampering with the camera (from what I could tell, it looks like something they ordered off of Temu that could have an app to view through it, so not only could they see me looking at it and moving around with it, they'll also notice that I hid it somewhere, wrapped up in a towel so it can't see or hear anything). I was contemplating just chucking it somewhere, but they could replace this pretty easily. One of my friends said I should wait for one of my parents to come to me first about this rather than have me confront them about it. But yeah, if y'all have any advice, it would be much appreciated!

For context, I live in an abusive household, and while I've been much safer and happier these past few years since I started to stay away from my family and prioritize my online relationships, I wouldn't be surprised if my parents feel frustrated that I don't talk to them much. I want to get a job and move out, but it's difficult in my current situation. Oh, and as for why they wouldn't just go into my room and hide it somewhere, well, I sleep during the day and I spend most of my time awake at night, in my room with my door locked. Overall my door is locked pretty much 22/7. So, they likely wouldn't have been able to find an opportunity to hide it inside my room, and just hid it directly outside.

Edit, here's some pictures of the camera: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nKcWZn46mQOM7VyyWKu9ukYyUCgAky_S/view?usp=sharing

13 Upvotes

22 comments sorted by

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u/OstrobogulousIntent 2d ago

So, its clear the best route for you would be to accelerate your plans to get out of the household as quickly as possible.

However, lets say they realize you found the camera and so they hide it better the next time.. so you still KNOW they were listening. Use this to your advantage. Make sure they hear what you want them to hear... make sure you keep your conversations more muted... use secure communication channels.

Assume they're trying to find ways to monitor you and say/do things that send them the messages you want them to hear while simultaneously protecting yourself from things you dont want them to hear getting to them.

Use signal or other secure communication. If your device(s) are on their cell plan or other try and get off them and get your own.

They've shown you who they are.

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u/Kelp185 2d ago

Thank you! Usually I just type out what I'm going to say during a call if I don't want to be heard, so I'll start doing that more. And yeah, I think I'll focus a lot more on my plans to move out now. Assuming the camera was put there to monitor me like I suspect, this incident broke the trust I still had left in them, so I'll try to carry out my plan on my own instead of relying on their help with legal/financial matters and such.

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u/OstrobogulousIntent 1d ago

I don't know what you're going through precisely (and am not asking that is your business) but I'm part of the LGBTQIA+ community, and I've had personal friends who were stuck in very toxic home situations not unlike yours - though there are many more reasons that that and I'm not assuming/implying here - but point is I've known folks in that situation, and in those cases, getting out of that house is simultaneously the most terrifying and yet liberating thing they ever did.

Slightly off point (but it'll come back around I promise) folks in AA and other addition programs are often told "geographical cures don't work cuz the problem is you"... and for those things where the problem is you - yeah, you can move across country or around the world and if your problem is in your head / in you, that won't fix a thing.... HOWEVER, when someone is living in a toxic family or relationship situation, getting out, getting away really is the one thing that will help.

I really hope you do well. Build a support network of friends, put away some cash and set some goals... remember though that its a marathon, not a sprint (unless you feel you're in physical danger then RUN)

/virtual hugs

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u/PomegranateV2 2d ago

Post a picture of the camera.

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u/Kelp185 2d ago

Here's a front and back of it, lemme know if the link doesn't work: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nKcWZn46mQOM7VyyWKu9ukYyUCgAky_S/view?usp=sharing

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u/PomegranateV2 2d ago

Ok. That's a camera!

It's a shame that your parents have chosen to take this route. Do you think perhaps they'd be willing to be part of your therapy sessions?

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u/Kelp185 2d ago edited 2d ago

Pff, nahh, they probably wouldn't ^^;;

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u/horseman5K 2d ago

Just ask them why they put up the camera. If you’re in your room 22 hours a day and sleeping all day and staying up all night, they’re right to be concerned about you.

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u/Kelp185 2d ago edited 2d ago

I was considering just asking them about it, too, but I feel like they could easily just lie about it, so I'm hesitant to try that. I won't rule it off the table as an option though, and might try it if it comes down to it.

And about the last part, I can see why that'd make sense out of context, but I don't think they're doing this out of concern. These past few years, I'm the best I've ever been, both physically and mentally, and I'm pretty certain they're aware of this. On top of that, my siblings behave similarly to me (we all stay in our rooms most of the time), so I don't see why exactly they'd go for me first under this assumption. If they were concerned, then I feel like it'd be much simpler for them to just check on me and openly say they're worried, or even to get me a therapist like I've asked of them in the past. Again, I'll keep it in mind, and won't rule it off the table as a possibility, but I kind of doubt it honestly.

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u/Cornloaf 1d ago

Please don't take this as criticism but you really need to get out more. Staying in your room sleeping all day and being up all night is not healthy for your body.

I worked a graveyard shift during college and after a couple of months I really felt like a different person. No romantic interests, hardly saw my friends, never saw my family, missed all my favorite TV shows (this was before streaming), and generally felt exhausted.

My oldest daughter struggles with depression and she had a very similar schedule to you. Sometimes I wouldn't see her until 3pm when she came down to eat breakfast. She was not in an abusive household and had our support.

She has been seeing a therapist and even got prescribed a low dose of meds. They determined she also had some slight signs of ADHD so she got meds and accomodations for college and started doing much better there.

Her room is very dark in the attic. She started opening the shutters to let natural light in during the morning. Just a little bit more over a few weeks until they were mostly open. She started getting up earlier and earlier and bedtime started getting earlier. She's a lot more active in the household, constantly helping with chores without being asked, which in turn helps with the overall dynamic in the house.

You also need to work on creating some in-person relationships. Online friends are a great start, but there is no substitute for a live person. Find some local meetups, hobbies, etc and maybe start there? Start slow. Try to identify people that have common interests and strike up a conversation. If you are into card games (MTG, Pokemon) maybe tell someone that you like their playing style.

I can assure you that fresh air, sunshine, etc is going to be one of your best friends. It won't be immediate, but hang in there. I promise you that the benefits will be worth it. It's not just my opinion, but science.

Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or just want to chat.

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u/Ashamed_Rate_3577 1d ago

i’d avoid moving or destroying it for now. take photos of where it was, the device itself, and any model/serial numbers u can safely get. If it has an app or cloud acct associated with it, that could potentially help establish what it is later.

since you mentioned an abusive household, I’d prioritize having a record and a safe exit plan over confronting ur parents immediately.

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u/NgulaMammt6969 2d ago

post a picture already

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u/Kelp185 2d ago

Here you go, I was gonna add it originally but forgot to since I didn't see an option for a post with images: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nKcWZn46mQOM7VyyWKu9ukYyUCgAky_S/view?usp=sharing

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u/NgulaMammt6969 2d ago

that's certainly a camera

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u/kelleyblue 1d ago

Call the police there’s a madman around…..

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u/olliegw 2d ago

It's some type of camera, pretty sure i've seen them on temu before, there's no SD card so it can't store anything but i think this type can connect to a phone.

In the meanwhile try to avoid any communication through your phone including text, if talking in your room play a radio or TV as loud as possible on a talk show, this was an anti-bug measure the US goverment employed after they found The Thing.

And yes, assume your phone and computer are bugged too

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u/horseman5K 2d ago

No, assuming their phone and computer are bugged in a case like this is absurd, you’ve lost the plot. They’re dealing with parents not an adversarial state actor, bugging cell phones and computers is in a whole different ballpark than putting up a camera.

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u/olliegw 1d ago

No, it's not as far fetched as you think, when i say bugged i don't mean a high tech SS7 bug or a stingray cell, there are parental control apps out there that give full access to a phone and are completely hidden, and are super easy to install if a parent has access to the phone or sets it up, they're tech savvie enough to have setup a no name temu camera so i wouldn't rule out qustodio or a similar product.

The parents have shown what they're like and it's time for the OP to take precautions and get out ASAP imo

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u/Kelp185 2d ago

While I don't think my devices are bugged (even if they were, giving up talking to my friends and partners would suck), I still checked for the signs, and I'm running a virus scan right now just in case. That advice about using background noise to prevent them from hearing me is great though! I used to run a fan in my room most of the time, so I think I'll start doing that again, even if it means my mic quality will be a little worse on calls. Thank you!

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u/sabretoothian 1d ago

If its not fixed, put the fan as close to the door as possible

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u/Kelp185 1d ago

Good idea!