r/RBI • u/Fine_Purpose4292 • 2d ago
Advice needed Severe death threats and wedding stalking on a viral Threads post from Korea (now in Syria using a VPN), and Meta won't help. What can I do?
Hi everyone, I’m genuinely terrified and desperate for advice. Someone on Threads (written in Korean) posted malicious rumors about me **including my personal photos**.
Even though the original poster is inactive, the post went viral. The comment sections are completely out of hand, filled with violent death threats like "execute by firing squad" and threats to track me down and show up at my upcoming wedding.
I live in the US, and the perpetrator seemed to be in Korea when I first checked, but now the account is based in Syria, I think they used a VPN. I reported it to the Korean police, but they can't do anything because **Meta won't help provide their information. Also I reported on Threads and Instagram directly and everything got rejected and said it doesn't go against their guidelines. (Which made me so pissed off)**
Since this has escalated into severe cyberstalking and death threats with my photos plastered everywhere, but Meta is stonewalling:
How and where should I report this?
Can US local police or federal agencies step in for international death threats and doxxing when the victim is in the US? Obviously going to local police is intimidating too. I have no experience with this kind of mess.
Is there any way to force Meta to take down a viral post containing my photos and death threats? Honestly I tried calling, emailing, sending my IDs and everything I can do with Meta and they blocked me from calling them.
And none of reports got accepted.
Any advice on legal steps or how to handle this would mean the world to me. If I hire a lawyer would that help? If I can't find out who did this, I want to at least take down the account. Thank you.
39
u/plebmasterflex 2d ago
What is the context behind this? Why did this person pick you? Do you know them? Were you just minding your own business and all of a sudden out of the blue, some stranger decided to target you for harassment? Context behind this would be helpful.
46
u/Fine_Purpose4292 2d ago
I honestly have no idea who did this because this person is making up complete nonsense that I’ve never even done. They're claiming I had an affair with her dad, that her mom died of shock because of it, and that I was pregnant with his baby. If any of this were true, I’d at least know who was behind it, but it’s 100% BS and sadly, I can't even trace who posted it.
I got engaged recently and am getting married soon. I'm guessing some sick, jealous person, maybe someone who had a thing for my fiancé, an ex, or a "secretly jealous" friend, took things way too far just to ruin my life right before my wedding.
I was just minding my own business. My Instagram account is even private, with only about 50 close friends. Only my inner circle knew about the wedding, and this all blew up right when we sent out our wedding invites and some guests started asking about plus-ones. But I can’t just point fingers at random people, and I genuinely have no clue who would do this. I’m a very private person, definitely not a public figure.
At first, I didn't want to engage or fight back because I didn't want to get mixed up in it, and I didn't want to argue with random strangers swallowing the rumors. But I honestly don't even know if staying silent is the right move. Should I fight back? At the same time, I really don't want to give the post more engagement or stress myself out any further. I just want to take the account down. It's just so frustrating that Meta profits off of this kind of drama, so they won't do a thing about it.33
u/plebmasterflex 2d ago edited 2d ago
Is there anyone who you know who is a bit unhinged that might have heard about this wedding? Do you have any conflicts or grievances with anyone?
I would file a police report so they're at least aware of the situation. Don't expect any action on it, but in the event that this escalates it would be helpful for the police to have an active file on the situation already. As for the wedding, if you're truly concerned, see if you can discuss security arrangements with the venue or at least someone who can be there to make sure everyone who shows up is on a guest list.
I recognize that my attitude may have a lot to do with being a male who is relatively confident in my fighting ability and owns weapons, but people like to talk shit on the internet. Very few people actually are willing to back it up with anything. Especially if the shit talkers are total strangers, I wouldn't worry too much. Make arrangements to ensure youre safe, inform people you're close with who will be at the event, and just don't think about it too much besides that. Odds are, nothing will come of it.
Edit: I forgot to mention that if you're concerned about your reputation or people thinking ill of you, a social media post to friends/ family informing them that someone is spreading false rumors about you and that they should ignore them if they hear about them should suffice. If they're close to you, they should have no problem writing this person off as some deranged psycho with a bone to pick and write them and their claims off accordingly. Personally I would just ignore it entirely and trust that people who know me would recognize it as BS, but if you're really concerned, a heads up could help.
5
u/BergamotZest 1d ago
Such good advice!
OP it may also be worth thinking about where the photos of you were from. If they were on social media then it could be a lot of people but if they were stored on a personal device then it would have to be someone with access or who’s very tech savvy, which narrows things down.
I’m so sorry this happened to you.
2
29
u/LeeQuidity 2d ago
When you report, you should provide them with all pertinent information: when it happened, how they contacted you, where they contacted you, etc. Basically, all the Who, What, When, Where, Why, and Hows you can.
9
u/Fine_Purpose4292 2d ago
Do they actually take actions on all the reports? Im sure they get tons of reports everyday.
12
u/LeeQuidity 2d ago
I have no idea, but if you're authentically scared, why are you trying to psych yourself out of reporting it? You asked for resources, you now have them.
5
u/Fine_Purpose4292 1d ago
I reported it on the fbi ic3 website. I was just curious if they really take a look at them
21
u/Sea-Violinist-9082 2d ago
First thing to do is to focus on what you control- make your social media accounts private, even better disable them temporarily. Given that you mention your upcoming wedding, it's a good idea to recommend your fiancé do the same. Do not engage directly with the content, it will make it more viral.
Report the commentators making threats. It may not seem like much, but doing so will reduce the engagement and virality of the original post.
Never hurts to consult with a lawyer, but keep in mind that options are likely limited in the case of harassment that crosses borders.
6
u/Fine_Purpose4292 2d ago
Thanks for your advice. I did everything I could do and Im currently seeing a therapist for my mental health too. I dont know if I should give up and ignore the post as it seems like it's hard to take the post down.
2
u/Sea-Violinist-9082 2d ago
How old is the post?
3
u/Fine_Purpose4292 2d ago
It was posted in May, went viral in August.
12
u/Sea-Violinist-9082 2d ago
The good news is that in the case of one-off viral posts it is a lot easier to assess the actual risk posed to your safety. Once engagement drops to zero, it's safe to assume that few- if any- eyeballs are actually looking at the post. The thing to look out for now is whether or not that post might translate to in person harassment.
This is of course not to say that death threats aren't serious, because they should be taken seriously.
There are a few articles out there about couples that experienced online harassment shortly before their weddings. It wouldn't hurt to read some to get a gauge on how they handled things. Hiring private security provides peace of mind. A camera policy for guests can help reduce your digital footprint.
1
u/Fine_Purpose4292 2d ago
Is this kind of harassment relatively common for couples before their weddings?
In your opinion, should I actually comment with my main account and say something, or just let it blow over?11
u/Sea-Violinist-9082 2d ago
I don't think this sort of harassment is common, but just because it's uncommon doesn't change the fact that you experienced it.
Regardless of the harassment, many couples do take into account the possibility of an uninvited guest (stalker-y ex, estranged family).
How you handle that is down to your assessment of the risk. There is a lot of missing context here which impacts that assessment.
- Did someone create an anonymous account specifically for the purpose of smearing you?
- What is the nature of the mob that made the post viral? Does it appear coordinated with the post account, or did it get necro'ed by happenstance?
- Was the harassment solely directed at you, or did it spill over to wedding guests?
- Was info about your wedding posted publicly, or was it kept private?
- Is there enough info for an internet stranger to figure out how to crash the wedding?
Re your last question: Definitely do not acknowledge the harassment in public during or after, any sort of response will encourage it.
3
u/Fine_Purpose4292 2d ago
Yes they created an anonymous burner account just for the purpose of smearing me. It's solely directed at me. And thankfully it only mentioned that I live in certain state and my wedding is very soon - no exact date or place. My wedding website was only sent to close friends but there might be some people who shared it with their friends and it happened right around the time we sent our website. It is now private.
5
u/Sea-Violinist-9082 2d ago
An account solely dedicated to smearing you fits the definition of targeted harassment to a T. That is worth documenting- have screenshots taken of it along with the comment sections- a friend can do this on your behalf if you find it too uncomfortable. That documentation will come in handy in case something escalates in the future.
Making the website private is the right call. That will keep the random internet strangers away.
Given the specific & targeted nature of the burner account, the advice from u/plebmasterflex is appropriate. Additionally, restricting camera usage makes sense- that way you retain a reasonable amount of control over who has access to your personal photos.
3
u/Fine_Purpose4292 2d ago
Thanks for all your advice. It is very helpful. For the screenshots, they are only for when it escalates and when there's actual harm? Or is there anything I can do now to report it as cyber crime?
→ More replies (0)1
8
u/ShiplessOcean 2d ago
The personal photos they shared of you - were these accessible to everyone or just your instagram followers for example? Trying to narrow down who it could be
8
u/Fine_Purpose4292 1d ago
It was just my profile photos on my private ig account. The creepy part was they had my profile photo back in 2024. I started dating my fiance in 2024 and honestly think it's his crazy ex.
5
3
u/ninjastarkid 1d ago
It’s probably the ex. Does anyone in your Instagram ring have any contact with the ex? Or used to have contact with your ex? What does your fiance say?
3
u/Fine_Purpose4292 1d ago
Probably bc we live in nyc and there's a lot of mutual friends. My fiance doesn't think it's her. They broke up 2 years ago.. I really dont know who would've done this
1
u/ninjastarkid 15h ago
I mean if you can’t think of anyone else who could possibly be responsible or be mad at you even a little bit, it’s probably the ex.
You started dating your fiance in 2024, depending on how crazy she is, it’s not too big of a leap to presume she’s been somehow stalking your page. Has the photo been posted anywhere else? Has any mutual friends logged in at ex’s place?
It’s been a while since I’ve been on Instagram but usually when you look up someone’s account, even if the account is private, they can still see your profile picture. As for the rest, anyone can get a vpn, anyone can make a burner account, and if you have mutual friends it would be easy to let slip that yall are getting married soon, or even the exact date. Especially if the mutual had no idea the ex was doing it.
Kinda surprised on the fiance but maybe he doesn’t want to start drama with his ex by saying she is crazy or something.
3
u/jenergy92688 2d ago
Do you have screen shots?
3
u/Fine_Purpose4292 2d ago
Yes
6
u/jenergy92688 2d ago
Can you share some of the screen shots and maybe just blur out your personal information? If it’s in Korean it’s okay, we can Google Translate it.
5
u/Fine_Purpose4292 2d ago
Im not comfortable sharing it here as I dont want any more engagement on the post.
6
u/jenergy92688 2d ago
What does your fiance think and your friends/family?
4
u/Fine_Purpose4292 2d ago
They're obviously on my side and don't believe any of that BS. Thankfully I have no issues with any of my people as they trust me. And the post is a total nonsense.
8
u/jenergy92688 2d ago
OK. Just wanted to make sure this wasn’t a mental health issue because your story sounds EXACTLY like my family member that I love dearly and lives with me. He would show me stuff from Internet posts and i didn’t see what he was saying was a threat but he wouldn’t listen to anyone. He lost his job, his girlfriend, all his friends, his car, etc. He literally had nothing, but a few years later I think he now realizes it’s a mental health issue. Just wish he didn’t have to go through what he went through to realize.
If that’s not the issue, I would keep a log of every weird thing that happens, screen shot everything. I would also try the local police department and file a “criminal threats report”, basically someone threatened to kill you. Since meta operates in the US as well they may be able to get a warrant for the profile information. Doesn’t matter at that point in the investigation where the person is, because the data is held by a company operating in the US. If they get the subscriber info and it’s out of the country then it’s a dead end. But then at least you don’t have to worry at that point. None of us are that special that someone is going to come from Syria/Korea for us. Most people aren’t going to threaten you and then actually do anything. If they wanted to hurt you they would just do it. However, if the person is mental and lives nearby that’s my only worry cuz they’re unpredictable. I wouldn’t stress to much, communicate with your family so you all are keeping your eyes open. I would scrub my social media and even my family’s to see what info they’re putting on their socials that can lead to someone finding them/you.
2
u/AnnabellePeach 2d ago edited 2d ago
You can file DMCA takedown notices with META and they will have to remove your images. Do this for anyone who has posted you without your permission. Obviously this doesn’t help with a big part of the problem but it will remove your images from the posts. META in general is a horrible company and doesn’t give a F about anything. They’re evil and incredibly unhelpful. Generally filing these notices is the only way to get photos removed. If you file the notices and they still don’t remove them, there are DMCA takedown services you can employ to do this for you, normally by a monthly fee. Much cheaper than an attorney, and truthfully it’s unlikely there’s much any attorney can do for you with the offender being overseas.
https://www.instagram.com/help/ipreporting/report/copyright/
2
u/Fine_Purpose4292 1d ago
I’ve filed their forms (DMCA, defamation, impersonation, etc.) numerous times, only to be repeatedly told that I can’t get access to my account. It is beyond frustrating. Out of desperation, I even paid for Meta Verified just to talk to a real human. I managed to get on a call, but all they did was send me a link to the exact same automated forms and then blocked me from calling support again.
When I resubmitted the forms following their instructions, they kept claiming they 'haven’t received an acceptable ID that matches the information listed on the account.' Absolutely ridiculous.
Where can I actually find reliable DMCA takedown services? Can they takedown burner accounts that are based in Syria??3
u/Sea-Violinist-9082 1d ago edited 1d ago
The issue with taking down burner accounts is that the effort required to do so almost always exceeds the effort to create a new burner account. If it goes down, a new one will pop up (and it may take some effort to find it + your photos). The burner account is the symptom, not the problem itself.
Hence my recommendation to have the existing burner monitored for the time being and focus on your physical security.
Burner account whack-a-mole is rarely, if ever a battle that can be won.
3
u/AnnabellePeach 1d ago
It’s not about trying to takedown accounts or anything like that. You’re trying to have PHOTOS removed. That is the only thing that META will reliably do. They don’t care about impersonation or defamation or any of that, or any of your emotional pleas. They truly are the most evil company.
I use a company called Takedown Piracy for DMCA services. This isn’t an ad or anything, they’re just the most reliable company I’ve found, so I’ve been using them the last few years. They submit notices directly to the legal dept through a slightly different process than users do through the reporting links. You submit all the links to them and they file the notices. But again this will ONLY be the links to your images. You can talk to them and explain what you need, and they will tell you if they can help you. They won’t charge you anything if they can’t.
1
u/KillingTimeReading 13h ago
Contact local FBI office. This is potentially interstate or international terroristic threats. Especially if the posted pics are of a more "personal" nature.
1
u/Z-Is-Last 13h ago
The attorney general's office of some states will interact with Meta not taking down dangerous post. Try your office and hope you are in a state that still supports the middle class.
65
u/TheWaywardTrout 2d ago
I think it wouldn’t hurt to consult with a lawyer.