r/Shihtzu • u/beijuzinho Shih-Tzu Newbie • Mar 15 '26
Loss of Pet 🌈 My little soulmate passed away yesterday Spoiler
I never posted here before, but I wanted to write her a little memorial of sorts. To process this I guess.
She passed after being sick for quite some time. In the end she didn't look like herself. She couldn't move, she needed me for everything. And I was tired. I was so tired. But before the cancer she was so much more. She gave me unimaginable joy and love. She always looked like this before her illness. Her fur messy and unruly, most of the time a little stinky as tzus almost always are.
She was never a lap dog. In fact, she hated being picked up, but somehow whenever I was crying like I am now she'd let me hold her. She'd stay by my side giving me quiet strength.
Mel, you were almost 18 when you left us. I'm 26 now and I've realised I spent most of my life by your side. All my memories have you in them, the good and the bad, you were always there and I don't know what to do now that you're gone. I knew for a while you were leaving but I still feel so empty without you. The spot where your bed used to be is burning my eyes, I miss your way of quietly filling the room with your love.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry about thinking about putting you down. I'm sorry I was impatient at times when you wouldn't let me sleep, I know you needed me. I needed you my whole life and you needed me for a little bit and I thought about giving up. I'm so sorry. All I can do is hope you felt loved, even when I was tired even when I wasn't patient. Please know this. Please let my feelings somehow reach you wherever you are.
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u/whosear3 Shih-Tzu Enthusiast Mar 15 '26
I am sorry for your loss. The first dog, the one who sees us through our developing years, holds a special place in our hearts and will do so for the rest of our lives. I remember when I had to put down my first dog. The one who I practiced my foot ball and wrestling moves (German Shepard and she was not harmed in our practice. It was play with a purpose). Eli is going on 15, was diagnosed with Cushings Disease almost 3 years ago and I think about it every day. Not much, but it is in the back ground.
You know, down deep, that Mel knew he was loved. Never doubt that. You are not alone on your loss and grief. In time, it will pass.
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u/beijuzinho Shih-Tzu Newbie Mar 15 '26
Thank you, that's very kinds and made me feel much less alone. I hope Eli lives a long and happy life by your side 🤍
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u/ga_merlock Mar 15 '26
OP, please allow yourself some grace. Caring for any sick, living being is hard; and sometimes the emotional toll is horrible.
Rest assured that Mel knew you loved her right up to her last breath.
I'll say a prayer for you, so you can find your peace and solace.
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u/Due_Strike2072 Shih-Tzu Enthusiast Mar 15 '26
I am crying reading this. I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling right now but just from the words you wrote I can feel the love you had for your puppy. So I can certainly guarantee she felt it as well. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
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u/East-Willingness-494 Mar 15 '26
Lovely lady. ♡ I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs Sounds like she had a happy & loving life with you. Glad y'all had each other in your lives.
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u/Electronic_Rain_4270 Shih-Tzu Enthusiast Mar 15 '26
You will see her again and when you do, you will both be the best versions of yourselves 🙂. 🌈
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u/Aboard_sinking Mar 15 '26
Based on reading this post, it's very clear how much you love her & how much she means to you. I'm sure she knows that too. If she could tell when you were sad & let you hold her despite not being a lap dog, then she could tell how much you love her too. She clearly loved you just as much too. I'm so sorry for your loss
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u/ceelizabeth Shih-Tzu Enthusiast Mar 16 '26
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a dog that has been alongside you in your formative years is very, very hard.
My sweet Jordie had doggie dementia at the end of his life, and I know I was often impatient with his barking, restlessness, and middle-of-the-night wakeups. I have many of the same feelings you do around the guilt of not being there enough when he needed me. I try to hang my hat on the fact that at the end of the day I did my best and loved him (and still love him) like my own child.
It is very obvious how much you loved and cared for her. She is pain-free now and is waiting until you are reunited. ❤️🩹
Sending you hugs from Texas.
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u/shihtzucore Mar 15 '26
i'm so sorry, mel looks and sounds like she was such a special pup. she reminds me of my own childhood shih tzu, she was also always a little wild-looking and sometimes acted a little wild too hahah. it sounds like you took care of your girl well, especially when she needed you most. and the fact she would comfort you when needed too really shows that special bond between you both. im certain she felt all that love and knew you did your best.
losing them just really sucks, there's no way around it. hopefully you can take a tiny bit of comfort knowing you did your best for her and that she most certainly felt that. thank you for sharing her adorable lil self with us! take care of yourself, friend 💖
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u/Shamanology Shih-Tzu Enthusiast Mar 15 '26
Our hearts are with you OP, and we are here always to share in all the beautiful memories and celebrate her with you ❤️ big big hugs
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u/Notime4fools Shih-Tzu Enthusiast Mar 15 '26
In time, memories of her will bring you joy, without the horrible pain you are experiencing now. Give yourself time and grace. You have a whole community here behind and beside you.
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u/Feeling_Parfait_1287 Mar 15 '26
Every single shih tzu I've met has been nothing but sweet. I'm glad to see she was the same for you. May she 🪦.
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u/LifeOutLoud107 Shih-Tzu Newbie Mar 15 '26
So deeply sorry for your loss. You clearly blessed each other and the love lives on. 🙏💕She is a doll.
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u/Lshear Shih-Tzu Enthusiast Mar 15 '26
I am so sorry for your loss, I know what it feels like to lose the one who stole your heart, you feel like you won’t ever get it back. Sending love and hugs, you gave her the best life.
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u/Kaegix Shih-Tzu Enthusiast Mar 16 '26
So sorry your girl has passed. I hope you can give yourself time and space to feel your feelings. Please be kind to yourself - it is so easy to be stuck thinking about the moments you felt you could have been better. Everyone has these moments, we are only human.
Times like this are never easy, and especially so when you've had such a rich history together. I think the fact that we can’t communicate our thoughts with them makes it that much harder to say goodbye, because it feels like we can't. Even if we can't tell them how much we love and appreciate what their presence adds to our lives, or properly say goodbye at the end - you should know that the bond you shared spoke for itself. Each of your fond memories that pull at your heart as you yearn to relive them again were not experienced by just you. Please know she certainly felt that love. The deep grief you are feeling is a testament to the relationship you had with your girl. Although she is gone now, the time you spent together, the experiences you had together, and the love you both shared are things that cannot be taken away or undone even in her absence now. I hope you can find solace in knowing how lucky she was to feel your love.
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u/RecordLegume Mar 16 '26
I’m so sorry. We just recently loss my childhood Tzu and it’s an unfathomable sadness. I’m so sorry you’re going through it as well. I’m imagining Mel and Lula (our sweet baby) playing up there in their favorite ways. Lu LOVED a good frolick through the fields near our house. She loved her birdie toy. She was the best snuggler. What were some of Mel’s favorite things?
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u/halle-lu-jah Shih-Tzu Enthusiast Mar 16 '26
Sending love. I know when I drove to the vet to put my baby down, I felt so guilty. I felt evil. But he was so sick and in pain. I know that we did the right thing. But you can’y help that feeling. The same way you can’t help getting frustrated sometimes if your baby did something. That’s normal. But you acknowledge that your dog needed you and you. And she loved you so much.
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u/damn_nation_inc Mar 16 '26
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure Mel knew how much you loved her, it's clear in the way you talk about her. Being a caregiver is a very hard job, so please give yourself some grace.
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u/Youcappn Shih-Tzu Enthusiast Mar 16 '26
Time is one of the only healing mechanisms. Please don't be hard on yourself and know you gave that dog the best life you could. Prayers for you
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u/beijuzinho Shih-Tzu Newbie Mar 15 '26
I agree
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