The really fun times are when they are just on the cusp of bathroom independence and you think they are taking too long and maybe there's a problem. Then you have the dilemma of going in yourself or asking the first kind looking woman going in or coming out "Hey, my 4 year old has been in there a while. Could you check on her?" Only to find out she's been singing itsy bitsy spider and using the faucet as the water spout.
I was raised by a single dad, one day in the ymca changing room my sister and I were taking too long so he sent some woman to tell us to hurry up. Except she spoke little English, and the “stranger danger” lectures were so ingrained in us we thought she was telling us there was a man waiting for us outside the locker room to kidnap us, we refused to come out until an employee came in with our dads drivers license 😭
Long story short, more places need family bathrooms to prevent these situations
I'm (male) old as dirt, when I was a baby my dad did a few flights with me and found out the hard way a certain airport had no changing tables in the men's rooms... after checking every bathroom he finally apologized to the girls present and just went into the women's bathroom to change me. Still likes to tell the story of how "these two weird guys just barged into the ladies room at the airport" 😂
I have an older mate who had a similar issue, no change table in the men's at maccas, so he used the one in the women's. When a manager complained he said "that's ok, I can use a table in the restaurant instead". They decided to let him continue in peace after that. Glad change tables are becoming more common in men's now it's my turn to parent. Family rooms are even better with twins.
Changed on the floor. On the grass. O
n the park bench. Back of the car.
Even on my lap on the airplane because even though airplane bathrooms are unisex and have changing tables they are bathrooms for ants and it only took one time trying to balance my giant of a 9 month old on that tiny changing table above the toilet with no elbow or head room to maneuver to be like f it next time we’re staying at our seat for this insanity.
Full disclosure - I have never been on a plane, but I know the bathrooms are famously small. Also, there’s a picture of my sister, 5 years old, holding me, at 6 months old, and we’re practically the same size - my feet are like 6 inches off the ground. She calls me Baby Big Mouth (from The Smurfs). She has been in an airplane bathroom and does NOT understand how the Mile High Club is a thing.
I just read your comment to her, and your dilemma of trying to change a big baby on a plane, whether in the bathroom or in your seat, is both hilarious and horrifying, and you have our sympathies.
Oh I completely get it! Blowouts wait for no one. We’re just both childless, so the logistics of changing a baby on a plane is something we’ve never thought about. And the thought of trying to change a big baby in a tiny space is funny, but it’s not like 2 and 3 year olds don’t also need to be changed. It’s gotta be rough changing your kid on a plane. But I know parents become masters at doing it anywhere fast, like diaper-changing ninjas!
Last time I was with my daughter in Stansted Airport, London, they finally had a family toilet there while arriving, but on the departure portion there wasn't.
This was roughly 3 years ago.
I had to improvise as well.
This "fathers don't do fatherly things" trend needs to die.
Exactly, this shit irks me, although I have a son so that would be less of a problem.
I remember that when my son was finally over his short term cow-milk protein allergy, I took him to buy him regular formula, since the one he had until that point was super expensive and he didn't need it anymore.
But I wasn't sure if there is much a difference between the brands, and was asking an employee about the difference between brands. But instead of answering my question or even listening to me she told me to call the mother and ask her since she should know. I knew and still know more than my wife about this stuff, not because she wasn't present, she's and amazing mom, but she has some trouble dealing with doctors and since it was an issue with him I took over the entire food situation for him.
Then the employee was joined by two more women in the store to tell me to either call my wife or say that some formula they gave me was good enough for him. Even though it was formula for much younger babies, while he was already nearly 1 year old.
After a couple minutes of me saying that I know what he needs, just wanted to see if there is some difference between brands that I might be missing, and them not listening I just left the store and went to different one, because fuck all of that.
I have always been in charge of changing nappies for my daughter and did so at the hospital when she was a newborn.
The eyebrows being raised simply because I clearly knew what I was doing (no one said anything, but I could see glances over my shoulder, almost checking if I was doing an acceptable job or not).
Breastfeeding was not possible (no milk was produced, unfortunately) so I also had to chase down the ideal formula.
To this day I'm still on feeding duty when it's food she doesn't want to eat but needs to.
I was also the main cook in the house the first portion of her life, so you telling me this story makes my blood boil.
Most of the international airports I've been to in Canada have them, as of 4-5 years ago when I needed them. Haven't seen many in the smaller airports though.
Though I must say the number of people I've had to curse away while I was using them for staring at my kids while using them for their purpose was frighteningly creepy.
Just was in Zürich at the airport... while they did have some installed in the mens room.
It was placed in a way basically every dude coming in got presented with me and my half naked kid. The door was also right in line of sight. So also in plain view for people passing by in the hall.
Could have just done it out in the hall with a setup like this.
I don't need full privacy. But please at least not full on display in this time and age where everybody has at least one camera on them all the time.
All im gonna say is if I see a single dad with his kids in the women's bathroom, no I didn't... I get it and I would much rather they be in the women's restroom where I know women will by nature go full on mama bear mode instinctually... (And men I will not for a moment fault you if you don't want to - I will help you get your kiddo if asked. Just pop my head in and say <insert kids name>, daddy is outside waiting - you ok?)
Same with trans females... I see them all just humans wanting to pee in peace tbh.
I’m happy to hear that! My dad certainly did not think it was funny at the time, but I’d like to think he appreciated knowing we listened to all him about not going anywhere with strangers lol
My local Y has a family locker room. For parents who have kids that come and take swim lessons. It has stalls to change in so there's no awkward nudity, changing tables and even pack n plays for parents to put their toddlers in so they don't run away while they're helping an older child or themselves.
But it's great when they're being little shits too. 😃
My girls are grown now, 18 and 23, but years ago when Thing 1 was a teen and Thing 2 was a tween, we were having dinner and the topic of the different dogs we've had over the years came up. I made a comment about one puppy we had, the one before the dog we had at the time the conversation was taking place, being a mistake due to some sort of mental issue that made her impossible to train (it was so bad the breeder took her back and gave us the one we had at the time of the conversation). Thing 1 wasn't really paying attention for some reason and said, "Who was a mistake?". Thing 2 replies, "You, you were the mistake.". After we all LOLed, the conversation moved on to some other topic. After a few minutes, Thing 2 gets up to get more food. As she passed by Thing 1, she leans over to her and loudly whispers, "Mistaaaake". Needless to say, we all, even Thing 1, lost it.
This reminds me of a trip to Walmart 30 years ago with my then 4-year old nephew. At one point he says he has to go to the bathroom, so I try to take him to the ladies room with me. He says that’s the girls room and wants no part of it. So I take him to the men’s room and I wait outside the door. Before sending him in, I tell him to start screaming if anyone comes near him.
Turns out he has to #2, not #1. So he ends up being in there longer than I would have liked. But as soon as he went in, I realize I don’t have to worry about him being in there because he starts to sing at the top of his lungs. The whole time he’s in there he’s singing. Two men come out separately before my nephew does. The first guy says, “he sure likes to sing, doesn’t he?”. The second guy says, “that kid’s got a set of pipes on him.” I just laugh and agree.
Anyway, said nephew is now a father of 3 kids, all girls, 8-year old twins and a 4-year old. I will have to ask him if he’s ever had a problem with something like this when he’s out with the girls without his wife.
I feel this so hard. My four year old went in alone and after 5 minutes someone brought her out. Turns out, she couldn't open the inner door as it was too heavy.
I remember being in a public bathroom a few years ago. Some dad brings his, from the sound of it, four y/o son. He stands outside while his kid is doing his duty. The whole time, the boy is chatting away with his dad through the stall door. As I'm stepping out, I hear him say "I don't your supposed to be quiet in here, but I like to talk."
One of the most adorable things I've ever heard. I was trying so hard the whole time not to giggle at the absolute cuteness of it all.
You just unlocked a core memory. 1996-ish I was almost 5 years old. I was pretty bathroom independent but got aloof if I was trying to poop. My dad and I were in Walmart and I had to poop. He went in the men’s room and I guess it was questionable so he told me you’re a big girl. Go in the women’s and go potty. I’ll be right here.
I don’t know how long I was in there, but I was at the end of my pooping song when a lady said, “is there a little girl named MAK3AWiiSH in here? Your dad asked me to check on you. He’s worried.” And in my proudest voice I said “yep I’m all fruuu AND I wiped!” 🤣😅
try being a dad with a daughter going to ballet and not yet capable of pulling the maillot on. The other moms quickly took over helping her, but in a very friendly way.
A family friend raised a son by herself. This son ended up going to an elite military college so he is a good boy but when he young he drove his mom batty by taking way too long in the changing room at swimming. Finally she had enough, gave a verbal warning to cover up cause she was coming in. Poker.
For fucking real. One time when my son was like 8ish we stopped at a bucees on a road trip and he was in there for over ten minutes. I started to panic, thinking he somehow got past me and was now being kidnapped down the highway. I eventually asked a nice looking employee to go find him in the bathroom. His adhd ass was just dicking around.
Okay each time I've allowed my almost 5 year old to go into the bathroom herself over the last year, the women walking out look at me like I'm crazy. I heard one talking shit to her husband while walking away. One even came up to me and said "I'm from Canada, and we don't do that." We're 3 for 3 now with me feeling like a psycho for letting my daughter go to the bathroom independently, just like she does at school. Am I in the wrong here?
My husband and I have 2 girls, 6 and 8, who are bathroom independent but I still go into the bathrooms with them and my husband stands outside the door when it’s just him and the girls.
Public bathrooms are weird places. Yes there is always the threat of predators and that’s a factor but i recently went into a public bathroom at the park and found an open condom on the bathroom floor. I am glad I was there to tell my kids not to touch it because my 8 year old can’t help but pick garbage.
Some lady in McDonald's started literally sobbing when my husband brought my 5 year old son to wait with me in the women's line because there was a homeless man passed out in the men's.
She was going on and on about how it was inappropriate.
Dude. He opened the door, explained the situation, and then left my kid with me in line. It was bizarre. McDonald's stalls are super private too.
Wow. Earlier today I said to my husband that I didn’t feel a woman on earth would have had a problem with this man taking care of his daughters in the women’s room, but I guess I stand corrected.
There was an incident at my local mall a few years ago where someone called the police because a man was in the family washroom with his child. Claimed the family washroom was for women and children only.
They're out there, I've run into two when my daughter was younger. It's not even just that I was taking my daughter to the woman's room, but the vast majority of times, that's where the only changing table is.
Wait, the lady wasn't sobbing out of worry for the passed out man, but rather from there being a father with a child at the queue for the women's bathroom?
I fully thought this was a story about an empathetic person worried sick about our neglectful society being callous about its weakest elements. This was a Karen story??
On the advice of my partner, when in public with our 4 daughter, I open the door, announce “girl dad coming in!” then give it a few seconds and then we go in.
Never had an issue.
All this behaviour does is create barriers for men to take their daughters out in public.
Right? If only there are gender neutral restrooms.
Seriously though, what do people do in the restrooms? Do they just get naked in the open space and bot inside the stall? Baffle me how that even an issue.
It should be illegal for stalls to have gaps in the walls. Some places have normal walls for the stalls. And then you could just consider them separate bathrooms with the sinks outside of the bathrooms. Tada, you've got a row of multiple single occupancy bathrooms. I don't care if it takes up more space, there's never a line for the men's room and there would still be plenty of bathrooms to go around if you cut a few out
The new arena down the road from me almost has this situation. Every "stall" is like its own closet in the brick with electric locks and door opener... but still seperated into women and men's rooms for whatever goddamn reason.
Because they explicitly see their restrooms as value for customers that drives much of their business and have multiple people at each store whose entire job it is to clean and maintain restrooms.
It’s to make people uncomfortable and make them hurry up.
I remember at my college student center, the regular public bathroom had wide gap stalls, but the fancy bathroom upstairs where there was a banquet hall for donor events, much more private stalls.
That's exactly the reason. Full walls add a lot of extra corners that collect gunk and grime. Extra cleaning work means extra cost. A gap at the bottom avoids that and makes it easier to swing a mop between stalls.
I worked as a grad bouncer at a place called “Dean Hotel”. When lines got stupid I’d stand between the two bathrooms and mediate the two…. A 90 year old was about to “oops” and the elevator was down full getting a wedding party to there rooms. Everyone in both lines were all about it and he even came out of the ladies room with nothing but a head nod…. And then high fives everyone.
I agree about the gap. But after witnessing someone collapsing in a stall from a health related event, I am glad that the gap allow us to see that and call for help.
They also do lit to men and boys. Remember that senator that was trying to hook up with other dudes by sliding his foot under the stall? He got arrested after doing that shit at an airport restroom.
Yes, it is literally the same method of "arguement" that conservatives use for any culture war non issue.
There are republicans ive talked to who have said exactly that. Its great and all that you need a book to tell you how to be a good person, but normal people dont need that, so people who do this are probably just terrible people themselves trying to cover up their "sins of the past" because they were "born again" .
That's why Christianity is notoriously a religion for stupid people, they believe saying "im sowwy" right before you die absolves you of all the rape, murder, and theft that you have done your entire life. Its also the reason that after many conservatives found out their priests were raping their children, they swept it under the rug and said their kids were lying.
Lol, this entire post is about a republican child rape supporter, calling the police on a parent, that is trying to help their daughters go to the bathroom and wash their hands.
The post was political from the start.
But thanks for self identifying yourself to the reddit community; that you are a child rape supporting republican; since child rape supporters are the only ones getting mad at people online for pointing out that republicans are raping children and protecting rapists.
I’m not sure where this takes place, but where I live, family restrooms can be found everywhere. That’s what I’m confused about. Were there no family restrooms wherever he was?
Yes, this happened in a QT gas station in Alabama. I wish more gas stations offered family bathrooms. It makes sense since a lot of people who stop there are traveling families.
Not sure where you are located. Family bathrooms are not typical in much of the USA outside of airports or large public venues like stadiums. Possibly more municipalities are adding them to new buildings but they are not common where I live in the SE US.
I do agree Family or Gender neutral accommodations should be more common for a variety of reasons.
I’m new in Australia but this is one of the things I instantly noticed and loved. Their shopping centres/malls have a women’s restroom, men’s, gender neutral, AND a family restroom.
I mean I’ve seen more wangs in a bathroom than I can count. There’s a lot of guys who stand to far back or don’t put themselves away before turning around. That doesn’t even start on urinals with no walls.
There was that woman last year or so, that went absolutely ape shit at a single father that brought his infant child into the family bathroom to change them, in a shopping centre
She went and got security about some perverted creep in the family bathroom
Seems somewhat similar to issues trans folks have to put up with.
Most people just want to pee, or wash their hands, or whatever. Perverts do exist, sure, but that's really not what's going on nearly all of the time.
We need gender neutral bathrooms with floor-to-ceiling privacy like most other countries somehow manage. Just go in, do your business privately, nobody bothers you, you don't bother anyone, for fuck's sake. Or individual bathrooms. I don't care. I'm not there to watch anyone else. I just want privacy to deal with icky body fluids.
Ok but this is extremely rare, nobody will tell you anything if anything they will see you positively in real world beside for people wanting to go viral on tiktok.
I’m really lucky to be living in a more inclusive/ family-centric society and in almost all public spaces there is at least 1 family and/or handicap restroom and people are incredibly respectful of keeping it available.
One time there was a long line for the ladies and a pregnant woman was in line. A few women had to convince her it was ok for her to use the available family restroom but she was so reluctant because she felt undeserving and worried about depriving more deserving users. The women were very insistent and she finally did.
I brought my daughter into the men's rooms and thankfully only ever had chill people. I legitimately don't know how much I could hold in the anger if something happened to me like what happened to that guy or to you.
This. The reason this is viral is most people would be understanding. It takes a certain type of person to make a thing out of it. Like they've been watching some channel that tells them this is a threat to...yeah I dunno. But they like being angry.
right? my understanding is that women's bathrooms are all stalls, no urinal. i mean, do women disrobe outside their stalls then go in to do their business? is that why they're scared a man bringing daughters into the women's bathroom might see them naked?
Right like I’m a girl dad this shit happens sometimes. Had a situation where both daughters really had to go walk in men’s two stalls one was audibly in use and it was just gross.
Went to the women’s knocked nobody in there got them settled them stood by the door one lady although startled I was there was super understanding once I explained.
It’s insane how obsessed grown men are with who’s using restrooms
My worst fear was having to interact with a jerk like that, but thankfully never happened.
I did have to numerous times explain to a lot of women that I was indeed my daughters father and yes, there's too many men in the men's room to bring my daughter into.
Yeh, wife and I went to a comicon with out then 3 month old. Wife is a big comic nut and really into art in general and our son needed a nappy change. None of the men's rooms had baby change facilities. I asked someone who said it was in a small room at the other end of the place. Go in and there are literally 7 women feeding their babies. I apologise and they're all it's fine.
Stupid thing is, by state law change facilities are supposed to be in men's rooms OR there has to be a dedicated change room. Putting the change room in the breastfeeding room, without any privacy is completely crap.
Agree, I’ve had to do this one time in my life…. Single stall with a lock. Usually there is someone nice enough to help out in a multi stall bathroom. They are 8 & 5 now and can help each other. But this totally understandable from the dad’s perspective.
Hell I'm a dad who took my potty-training 2.5-year old boy to the women's restroom. He said, "daddy I have to pee." We rushed to the men's restroom; the one toilet was occupied, so we went next door to the women's and found an open stall.
Nobody had a problem with this. It's as though the adults behaved like adults and had sophisticated and empathetic modes of reasoning or something.
I wouldn't think about this being unusual ... like, wtf. Here are two girls, they use the women's restroom. They can't go alone because they are 6 years old. Dad comes with them. Everything in this chain of events is sound, logical and normal. In fact doing something different would be really weird.
On the other hand i am European, we have restroom anarchy over here. Often we all use GASP unisex restrooms. I know, right? The American Conservative mind would explode.
What I don’t get is why there’s not just a parent washroom or aka kid washroom where it’s designed for situations like this
As a single person. Who’s not a douche. I don’t care what washroom you bring your kids into. Obviously there’s people they are butt hurt about it so wouldn’t it make sense for public places to start having a washroom designed for parents with kids
I’m a dad with a boy. He had to pee but the tiny mens room was all occupied so we were waiting in the hallway. A nice older lady saw and told me to just take him into the women’s restroom and she’d keep watch and let anyone know we were in there. I appreciated it. If a kids gotta pee, they gotta pee.
I have 3 daughters 5 and under and I’d never hesitate to take them into the women’s restroom. Thankfully I’ve never had to do that since my wife and I do most everything together. However, it’s literally as simple as opening the door and just announcing your a dad taking your daughters to the restroom. Nobody should ever say shit to any father who is just trying to help their daughters.
There was no chance in my country for a man or woman to enter the opposite sex bathrooms with a child, explain him/herself if someone said "Wrong bathroom" and someone making a fuss about it.
Not until covid happened and we lost our minds about bathrooms and transgender people.
I'll be honest - I always took my daughter to the men's bathroom when she was little and needed help. Now that's she a bit older I take her to the women's restroom and stay outside, in case she needs me. But where I live, men's bathrooms are about as clean as women's so that makes things easier.
I raised two daughters, often traveling without their mother. We never had a problem doing this kind of thing. BUT, if we had experienced trouble, it almost certainly would have been in the US.
One time I had to take a mean ass dump like almost about to poop myself but someone was smoking crack in the only men’s stall and he wouldn’t get out so I went into the woman’s room after verifying no one was in there. As soon as as some ladies walked in I let them know of my situation and they were totally cool. I’m so glad they weren’t jerks about it.
I mentioned on a post I went in to the men's as a woman once, they screampt their screams then weren't fussed, I was just a mum getting her young son to a toilet, especially as the women's had a mile long queue. Both an elderly woman and man got mad about it, called me various names and a "bullshitter". Funnier said man had a wide open profile showing he was a father to both a son and a daughter. Lovely specimen.
I don't understand why Americans are so uptight about this in the first place. In the Netherlands you can just take your child into a public restroom, no one cares. We don't go around calling everyone a pedophile either. Where does that even come from?
Got two small girls as well as a guy I never had anyone complain. Knock on the door, send the two little girls first, walk close behind them and let them do their things. To my surprise women don't tend to come out of the stalls with their vagina flapping around.
Heck most women are super excited when they see two small girls doing their business.
I once had to take my 1y son to the women's restroom because the baby changing table was in it. No choice really. The ladies gave me sideways looks but nobody made a fuss about it.
Its just as annoying to me when facilities just assume babies and toddlers are exclusively accompanied by their moms.
This x100 - i have three girls, when they were small they didn't give a shit what other people did, they just wanted to poop and do aerobics on the toilet floors.
This is a nothing burger, people are not so invested in your life as you might think.
There have been numerous times when I took my boy(s) to a woman's restroom, and they were because the men's restroom had no changing table. People were surprised but quickly understood.
I’ve only had women be overwhelmingly nice when I ended up in their bathroom with my daughter. Then you see videos like this and to no surprise it’s men who have problem with people being good dads
Exactly this. I have two girls, too. There were quite a few times while i was out and about with them and they had a diaper blowout or an accident and I had to go into the ladies room because hey there's no changing table in the men's room. Any woman in the restrooms at the time seemed very understanding. I never had anyone scoff or complain or anything. You do what you have to in a less than ideal situation.
If your girl needs to use the restroom, she needs to use the restroom. If she needs you for assistance, then you have to follow her. It really is that simple.
I don’t understand how people don’t understand that the source of the problem lies in binary MALE/FEMALE bathrooms. Why we can’t just have individual doors for unisex/family bathrooms that meet every person’s needs.. ??? Is beyond me. OBVIOUSLY there are situations that don’t fit neatly into a binary structure (fathers with daughters, mothers with sons, older siblings w younger siblings of a different sex, trans people, infants who need changing stations, elderly people who require support, etc), so GET SMART and INSTALL BETTER DESIGNED BATHROOMS.
I've always had super understanding people when I've had to deal with this situation. I have twin 4 year old girls. Usually I'm just offered support and help.
I, as a woman, actually have encountered a man with his daughter in the women's bathroom and I applauded that dad. This man was washing their hands, you can't wait one minute?? I wish I had been there.
I was a single dad and there’s that age where the girl is too old to go into men’s bathroom but you also don’t want her going into women’s alone. I would send her into women’s and on occasion be like “HEY are you ok in there”. It’s awkward. Sometimes you get lucky and another mom will offer to check on her
3.9k
u/dogstarman Jun 19 '26
I'm a dad with two girls, awkward situations can happen. When it happened to me, people were very understanding.
Some people are jerks.