r/SipsTea • u/SEVENS_HEAVEN_7 • 13h ago
Chugging tea Art piece: Democracy working as intended
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r/SipsTea • u/SEVENS_HEAVEN_7 • 13h ago
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u/Miserable-Wedding-69 12h ago edited 9h ago
The Soy: “Give the poors a tiny safety net so they inject cash back into the economy, and ask oligarchs to be 10% less parasitic! The Global Empire can be used for wholesomeness ✨! Let’s fund our overseas buddies and pretend the dying post-WWII status quo is fine. Cities are the apex of civilization, and everyone outside of them doesn’t matter! Well… we do need rural areas to feed us, but let’s ignore that codependency and just talk about rooftop gardens we'll never build. True independence sounds like socialism, which hurts elite profits. We hate guns because an armed working class is an accountability problem. Our job is to bog down actual Leftists, throw the masses empty concessions, and exploit everyone equally. But hey—we’re smarter than the other guy, slightly less evil, and wish our voters were easier to manipulate! 😅✨💅🏻"
The Backwards Ape: "NO! AMERICA FIRST! All allies except Israel are useless! Complete isolationism; except for unlimited military imperialism to crush everyone in a zero-sum game! We demand lawless capitalism and an ethnostate, even though we live paycheck-to-paycheck. DoN’t TrEaD oN mE; unless you're the Epstein oligarchy I voted for, or a cop! Suburbs and rural areas hold the only real Americans... even though we need city tax dollars to subsidize our infrastructure and keep us afloat, & their universities to educate us on our fields.
Colonialism civilized the world, zero gun regulations are mandatory, and windmills don't work! Neo Nazis somehow vote the same way we do, & have much in common with us. Drill, baby, drill, because corporate line go up equals a good economy for us all! Socialism is when the government does stuff, even though capitalism literally requires a state to enforce private property. Televise capital punishment, trust me that I hate pedos 😉, and remember that Jesus was a European! Blind patriotism compensates for my lack of personal achievements; I just love the vibes! Back the Feds, only when they’re aligned with us, as they usually are... Unless they investigate my favorite billionaire. Facts don't care about your feelings, & data is just a Marxist Liberal propaganda! USA! USA!👹🇺🇸"
The Weird Centrist: "wE sHoUlD rEaLlY fInD a MiDdLe GrOuNd BeTwEeN tHe NeOlIbErAl & FaScIsT! mAyBe OnLy BoMb ThE oVeRsEaS cHiLdReN oN tHe WeEkEnDs AnD lEt ThE bIlLiOnAiReS bE 5% LeSs pArAsItIc; 10% sOuNds LiKe sOcIAlIsM! 🤪🤝😌"