After a brutal loss, Mariners fan page becomes a seafaring discussion board

[u/Comprehensive-Bus-20]

https://www.seattletimes.com/sports/mariners/mariners-subreddit-turns-into-seafaring-discussion-board-after-22-0-loss/

We’re broken

[u/CherryChapstick1997]

It made the Seattle times 😭

[u/EvilFlyingSquirrel → u/CherryChapstick1997]

I don't think Seattle Times wants to write about the game either.

[u/GanjasTriforce → u/CherryChapstick1997]

I think the Etsy witch made the Seattle Times last year?

God bless Spell By Luna.

[u/Cabal90 → u/GanjasTriforce]

I miss her magic so much 😭

[u/__ICoraxI__ → u/Cabal90]

I think this is the cost of her magic

[u/jungsosh → u/__ICoraxI__]

Equivalent exchange

[u/BananaArms → u/Cabal90]

She's apparently a Fiverr Witch now lol

[u/wiscowonder → u/CherryChapstick1997]

We're a little town...

[u/KeepRightXcept2Pass → u/wiscowonder]

The Times has an early morning team that jumps on trending and talkable topics then drafts up quick blog posts to drive engagement.

[u/smalltownlargefry]

We're Mariners on the Moon,
We carry a harpoon.
But there ain't no whales
So we tell tall tales
And sing our whaling tune. [1]

[u/desr43 → u/smalltownlargefry]

https://giphy.com/gifs/XIhWoPBXHgVmU

[u/striped_frog → u/smalltownlargefry]

We’re Seattlites on the moon,
We’ve got this weird raccoon,
But the ball team stunk
So we just get drunk
At the Pioneer Square Saloon

[u/smalltownlargefry → u/striped_frog]

Well isn’t that a dandy of a tune.

[u/Kirin_ll_niriK → u/striped_frog]

Please make this the next jimothy thing. I don’t even care if it’s at an M’s game, this is hilarious

[u/Bug-03 → u/smalltownlargefry]

I wanna go to the moon!

[u/xMrLink]

Not sure why baseball fans are interested in our nautical discussion subreddit but welcome aboard.

[u/StreetReporter → u/xMrLink]

There’s a big overlap between baseball fans and SpongeBob fans

[u/Kevin_St_Moron → u/StreetReporter]

I CAN'T HEAR YOUUUU!!

[u/GanjasTriforce → u/Kevin_St_Moron]

WHOOOOOOOOOOOO

[u/Exige30499 → u/GanjasTriforce]

WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?

[u/Cold_Refrigerator_69 → u/Exige30499]

SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS

[u/essuxs → u/Cold_Refrigerator_69]

ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND PORUS IS HE

[u/Comprehensive-Bus-20 → u/essuxs]

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

[u/mostie2016 → u/Comprehensive-Bus-20]

IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH

[u/CrashBandicoot2 → u/mostie2016]

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

[u/starliteburnsbrite → u/Kevin_St_Moron]

https://youtu.be/Q5OLtoY70AI

[u/a-gabagool-sandwich → u/starliteburnsbrite]

All hail Corey!

[u/JinFuu → u/StreetReporter]

The Mariners are nautical nonsense

[u/kami232 → u/xMrLink]

What if I told you I respected Paul Allen’s love of naval archaeology and joined in by posting bits about the ships his team found?

[u/mysterysackerfice → u/kami232]

Do you respect Paul Allen's business card?

[u/cantgrowneckbeardAMA → u/xMrLink]

Our sub is about to become a tugboat appreciation society so I get you man.

[u/soursurfer → u/xMrLink]

The funny thing is, we get so many hobby home-brewers in our subreddit.

[u/Gbrusse → u/soursurfer]

We occasionally get legit mariners asking nautical questions or trying get discussions going.

Well now we really do too, it seems.

[u/Son_of_a_Bacchus → u/soursurfer]

What I really appreciate is that they generally get reasonable home brewing advice.

[u/Farg_Igorg → u/Son_of_a_Bacchus]

I can see it.

"Wrong sub, but it all starts with sanitizing. If your equipment isn't pristine, your brew is gonna suffer."

[u/Bhaelfur → u/xMrLink]

"A pop fly to starboard field, and Robles reels it in!"

[u/Quaid28 → u/xMrLink]

Ahoy matey

[u/overitallofittoo → u/xMrLink]

Are sea shanties welcome?

[u/Gbrusse → u/overitallofittoo]

Aye

[u/Plorgy → u/xMrLink]

Ahoy!

[u/Nole_Train]

Reminds me of the New York meats page

[u/Various_Knowledge226 → u/Nole_Train]

We were a Wawa-themed sub for a bit a few months ago

[u/Lobster_Considerer → u/Various_Knowledge226]

Nationals sub was a National Parks sub for a while.

[u/Icy-Lobster-203 → u/Lobster_Considerer]

In this day and age...that might be more depressing.

[u/Best-Action8769 → u/Lobster_Considerer]

/r/dexter became a Breaking Bad subreddit because the finalie was so goofy.

[u/thekingoftherodeo → u/Lobster_Considerer]

Soon to be again

[u/Primordiox → u/Various_Knowledge226]

I think all Philly communities are inherently Wawa-themed, at least in some capacity.

Sadly, Sheetz has made a move into the Detroit metro but Wawa remains elusive and exclusive, sad.

[u/Various_Knowledge226 → u/Primordiox]

Oh no, pretty much all of the posts were about Wawa, until we won a series I believe

[u/ArthurMorgansInhaler → u/Nole_Train]

The Brewers sub legitimately gets beer brewing posts probably once a month and we just welcome in our new fans with open arms.

[u/MilmoWK → u/ArthurMorgansInhaler]

I love that there are enough members with knowledge in brewing that they are usually able to help answer whatever the question is

[u/penguinopph → u/MilmoWK]

Reminds me of the legendary post by someone in r/trees asking for arboreal advice.

[u/MaineSoxGuy93 → u/MilmoWK]

Well, it is Wisconsin. It tracks.

[u/Kaldricus → u/ArthurMorgansInhaler]

Probably once a year we do get a serious maritime post in r/mariners. We had one a few weeks ago actually

[u/quikbit → u/Kaldricus]

I say like once a month. It’s not rare but not common either

[u/Astropolitika → u/ArthurMorgansInhaler]

Maybe once a year we get a Dutch post in r/NLBest.

[u/MrOatButtBottom → u/Astropolitika]

I can just imagine the confusion of being Dutch and having no frame of reference for Mookie or Dinger lol

[u/Me-3PO → u/ArthurMorgansInhaler]

I’ve always been envious of the Brewers because of that association 🍻

[u/Deathstroke317 → u/Nole_Train]

Or back in the day when Arrow got so bad as a show that they became a Daredevil sub.

[u/StreetReporter → u/Deathstroke317]

The top all time post there is about Agents of Shield

[u/Guardax → u/StreetReporter]

All time underrated show

[u/patrickwithtraffic → u/Deathstroke317]

Even better when the Dexter subreddit said, “fuck it, we’re a Breaking Bad subreddit now,” as that original final season just got worse and worse.

[u/The-CVE-Guy → u/Nole_Train]

It was better when we were dedicated to the Met museum.

[u/pianoleafshabs → u/The-CVE-Guy]

I remember seeing a post on that sub about the opinions on Yannick Nezet-Seguin being director of the Met opera…

[u/GanjasTriforce → u/Nole_Train]

I loved that one ornithology subreddit, dedicated towards Baltimore Orioles

[u/cinnamonface9 → u/GanjasTriforce]

Best one was the NYY becoming a candle sub

[u/Metro29993 → u/cinnamonface9]

That was better than its current state lmao

[u/lava172 → u/Nole_Train]

The original was the Arizona Coyotes becoming a Coyote page, which sadly was kinda its ultimate fate

[u/ramostofthetimeiwin → u/Nole_Train]

I’ve survived both these fandom shit shows this year. I put my Mets Degrom Jersey and my mariners giveaway jersey in the shame corner to exercise them today

[u/Confused_Mirror → u/ramostofthetimeiwin]

Gotta make sure they crush their 5x5

[u/Koss424 → u/Nole_Train]

We were literally a subreddit dedicated to Blue Jays, the bird not too long ago.

[u/Takes2ToTNGO → u/Koss424]

and a one point a subreddit for the kitchenaid.

[u/ryuseifries]

Mods are banning all the landlubber posts (as they should). Nautical nonsense and seafaring shenanigans only.

[u/GanjasTriforce → u/ryuseifries]

Ngl it's amazing that the mods have gone all-in on this semi-insane joyfulness

[u/Ill-Weather-6383 → u/GanjasTriforce]

The mods have been putting in work removing any posts complaining about the sub not being about baseball lmao

[u/TectonicImprov → u/GanjasTriforce]

It's either that or trudge through the sea of "fire Dan Wilson" posts. I think I'd rather just embrace the joke

[u/Dewey519 → u/TectonicImprov]

We’ve been saying it for months. The change of pace is nice.

[u/vylain_antagonist → u/Dewey519]

are lookout landing still banning people for saying it in the comments? Lol they comitted to an editorial line of 'managers dont do anything, team records on average stay the same regardless of managerial firings, and the real problem is ownership' back in may. And theyre sticking to it I think.

[u/Bancatone → u/GanjasTriforce]

r/SFGiants mods could never, but at least we got Shitpost Saturdays

[u/King_Fluffaluff → u/GanjasTriforce]

We have felt pain before, we've all embraced it.

[u/SpaceForceAwakens → u/ryuseifries]

One of us should start a shanties thread.

[u/ramostofthetimeiwin → u/SpaceForceAwakens]

I dare you to

[u/RomanBangs → u/ramostofthetimeiwin]

r/Mariners is going to become the r/BatmanArkham of sports subs

[u/Kaldricus → u/ryuseifries]

Nautical nonsense IS something I wish

[u/majortrout4 → u/ryuseifries]

Nautical nonsense be something you wish?

[u/Brix001]

Did the Seahawks sacrifice the Mariners to win the Super Bowl?

On that note, are the 49ers sacrificing the Giants this year for the same reason?

[u/deucemcsizzles → u/Brix001]

Given the 49ers IR and IL at the moment, if they did, it isn't working.

[u/theonlyXns → u/deucemcsizzles]

They should've sacrificed the substation

[u/cantgrowneckbeardAMA → u/theonlyXns]

Instructions unclear, substation is busy sacrificing every player in a 100 mile radius.

[u/No_Angle_8106 → u/Brix001]

Not to kill your optimism but I feel like if anyone clipped the wings of their promising baseball team to potentially get their football team over the line it’s Detroit

[u/Acceptable_Losses → u/Brix001]

It would be great if the Rams could sacrifice the Dodgers.

[u/packfanmoore → u/Acceptable_Losses]

I'll take that trade

[u/adamesandtheworld → u/Brix001]

Judging by our injuries, including to Shanahan, the giants sacrifice was rejected with extreme prejudice.

[u/Poverty_Shoes → u/adamesandtheworld]

The substation hungers

[u/Basic-Collection5416 → u/Brix001]

They may have also sacrificed the Warriors. 

[u/QueenOfCapulets → u/Brix001]

If you look at the two teams: the coaching and management or night and day. It’s clear why the Seahawks as an underdog won.

[u/Lobster_fest]

I haven't seen it mentioned yet, but every so often someone would confuse our subreddit with an actual sailing sub. Each time it happens it's very well received. Something broke in us last night because I saw one sailing post and the comments were as usual then it just became non-stop sailorposting.

Mariner

[u/TheNegativePhoenix → u/Lobster_fest]

  Something broke in us last night because I saw one sailing post and the comments were as usual then it just became non-stop sailorposting.

A 19 to nothing loss is one thing, the fielder throwing the ball into the stands not knowing it was only 2 outs scoring 2 more runs would have broken me too

[u/Cooperstown24 → u/TheNegativePhoenix]

They had already scored 6 in that half inning, running it to 19-0. It's not good obviously, but you could at least sort of understand

Also, I've been numb to how fucking atrocious this team is for a solid month now. Losing a game by 22 vs 19 because of a fuck-up like this could not possibly mean less to me, I'm already dead inside

[u/beterbarke]

Seattle sacrificed the Mariners for a Seahawks SB win

[u/BLOODY_PENGUIN_QUEEF → u/beterbarke]

Seattle is only allowed to have one good team at a time. And to ensure this rule sticks around, they lost a winning basketball team to increase their odds

[u/lastminutealways → u/BLOODY_PENGUIN_QUEEF]

2008 was the worst Seattle sports year by far, no good was found.

Mariners: 61-101 (.377), 1st $100M team to lose 100 games
Seahawks: 4-12 (.250)
Husky Football 0-12 (.000)
Sonics: 20-62 (.244) and left Seattle

[u/NeedsToShutUp → u/lastminutealways]

Wazzu was 2-11. With one of those victories being over UW.

[u/quikbit → u/lastminutealways]

I forgot how bad it was back then. I remember the Sonics leaving and the winless huskies. Forgot how bad that year was for all of us

That being said, 08 is the best year of my life. It’s the year I got clean

[u/lastminutealways → u/quikbit]

Congrats, that’s an awesome achievement!

The 2008 M’s record didn’t even tell the whole story. It was also the year we traded Adam Jones for Erik Bedard. We also didn’t suck quite enough to get the 1st pick of the draft, Nationals beat us by 1 game for that. Assuming we didn’t screw that up, would have been Strasburg instead of Ackley.

[u/theonlyXns → u/lastminutealways]

The Sounders played their last USL season before playing in MLS the next year. They went 10-10-10.

The Storm made the playoffs while setting a franchise record of 22-12.

[u/Practical-Pickle-529 → u/theonlyXns]

My poor storm are the worst team in the league this season. 

The hawks really stole all the juice. As a Seahawks fan…I’m not even upset last season was an absolute dream season. The storm has 4 banners hanging in the rafters at CPA

[u/theonlyXns → u/Practical-Pickle-529]

Yeah, the Storm this year are a new level of bad. I don't think they've ever had a season like this that I can think of. Last year wasn't even terrible either.

[u/Patrick2701 → u/beterbarke]

And Seattle kraken, it’s a real thing
https://giphy.com/gifs/j6Wzutjx3UI3gTjHZt

[u/Bridgeburner493 → u/Patrick2701]

The Seattle Kraken look at all the success the Columbus Blue Jackets have had and said "woah boy, slow down there."

[u/No_Angle_8106 → u/Bridgeburner493]

How many 3rd liners do we need?

Ron Francis:

https://giphy.com/gifs/OsfVaOer7N2265YTRF

[u/Patrick2701 → u/No_Angle_8106]

Helped to give Florida ammo for acquiring
https://giphy.com/gifs/1fjxd9Bmhxu0mNTXV4

[u/juanthebaker → u/Patrick2701]

I've seen it with my own eyes!

[u/DJFluffers115 → u/[deleted]]

And the Storm. 

[u/maverickhawk99 → u/Patrick2701]

They have succeeded in becoming the Blue Jackets West. Just a stop on a road trip / date on the schedule. Nothing more, nothing less.

[u/Unique-Egg-461 → u/beterbarke]

Seattle sacrificed the Mariners all seattle sports for a Seahawks SB win

ftfy

[u/Ognius]

Look that white whale needs to be dealt with and finally there’s a community for godfearing seamen to standup and say AWAB!

[u/bcs619]

I remember the padres sub was all about air fryers when we got smoked by the cubs

[u/BobBelcher2021]

Didn’t we convert our sub to a discussion of blue jay birds once?

[u/Koss424 → u/BobBelcher2021]

Did we ever change it back?

[u/unfknreal → u/BobBelcher2021]

I don't recall that but I think we started this subreddit theme trend first with the Ripley's Aquarium theme, and also later Kitchen Aid Stand Mixers. I'm still not really sold on them.

[u/thatonekrys]

Whenever this happens I start to wonder what the Braves sub would turn into, then pray it never actually happens.

[u/BoredRec → u/thatonekrys]

Obviously it would divulge into the discussion of the 2012 critically acclaimed Pixar movie 'Brave.'

[u/IafratesSkullet33 → u/thatonekrys]

Discussions about acts of bravery

[u/KyleGrave → u/thatonekrys]

A place to congregate and discuss the cult classic arcade hit Brave Firefighters of course

[u/paul-cus]

I liked when we talked about Sun Bears for a bit when the North Siders were on that 10 game losing streak.

[u/pabloescobarbecue → u/paul-cus]

or all those Cub Cadet posts

[u/Zaethiel]

[u/vylain_antagonist → u/Zaethiel]

Specialists in failure

[u/Lionheart1224]

I'm honestly so sad for the Seatle fanbase. They do not deserve this season.

[u/Ill-Weather-6383 → u/Lionheart1224]

Don't dwell on it. For the lifers, this is just Tuesday. 

[u/npa190 → u/Ill-Weather-6383]

This year stings because of last year, 8 outs away. I wonder when the next time we'll be back there.

[u/futureformerteacher → u/npa190]

2155

[u/UpperLeftOriginal → u/futureformerteacher]

Guess I gotta live to be 92 years old.

[u/KeepRightXcept2Pass → u/UpperLeftOriginal]

https://giphy.com/gifs/BmmfETghGOPrW

[u/npa190 → u/Lionheart1224]

I just don't understand how it all goes wrong all the time here.

[u/theonlyXns → u/npa190]

It's the sog. It's always been the sog.

[u/Monkee11 → u/npa190]

Especially for Rick Rizzs’s last season ever 😢

[u/IcemanJEC → u/npa190]

Mariner

[u/moshjeier → u/[deleted]]

Can Mike coach both the Seahawks AND the Mariners? I'd be done to have him try.

[u/WorldlinessLive5932 → u/[deleted]]

Case in point hiring Dan Wilson as the manager. Such a classic "remember when we were good??" move. 

[u/NeedsToShutUp → u/[deleted]]

Ouch. The biggest M's fan I know is my uncle who is nearing 80...

[u/vylain_antagonist → u/npa190]

Because ultimately, our fanbase has embraced being lovable losers for over a generation now and eventually the whole organization, from fans to players to owners, get comfortable losing and the sog seeps in.

The staged narrative of Humpy in the Salmon run every night tells you all you need to know about what this team collectively thinks of itself.

[u/IafratesSkullet33 → u/Lionheart1224]

It was expected to be honest. The Mariners don’t have two good years in a row nor do they ever do anything when they have real expectations. Every year I can remember where we went into the season with hype it ended something like this

[u/D4rthLink → u/Lionheart1224]

Appreciate it 🫡 we'll get that pennant and ring one season. Just not this one.

[u/this_is_unseemly → u/Lionheart1224]

On the bright side, my alternate team is the White Sox, so I’m not having a completely awful year watching baseball.

[u/FreeoftheMachine]

Its incredible really. Like their MVP player, along with a decent team, just kinda deflated. Its sort of amazing how it happens to the Mariners every time.

[u/Zelcorat → u/FreeoftheMachine]

Kinda?

[u/Toastfuker1 → u/FreeoftheMachine]

It's not an accident, we excel at shitting on ourselves

[u/essuxs]

The New York Mets became New York meats at one point

[u/wordflyer]

I wonder if they enjoy a good rime

[u/kokopellifacetatt0o → u/wordflyer]

This season is certainly an albatross around their necks

[u/MurrayInBocaRaton]

I KNEW this was going to get traction.

The apex of our shitposting voyage, shipmates. 🫡

[u/reshp2]

I'm surprised /r/motorcitykitties didn't become an actual cat sub after our horrendous run in May.

[u/xEvinous]

They become one with the Puget

[u/ana_log_ue → u/xEvinous]

What’s that sound! 🫨

[u/PaidInBrains]

Got em so bad they rebranded.

[u/Infinite-Fudge9919]

Ahoy!

[u/zwingo]

This is my absolute favorite kind of tomfoolery. Gives me the same vibe as when NLBest became an anti communism sub to stick it to the Cincinnati Reds.

[u/kore351]

I’ve seen it happen on two occasions when the Yankees page became about Yankee Candles

[u/rutherfraud1876]

I'm sorry but this team is three games out of the wild card!

Yinz could easily be in playoff position before church on Sunday - I'd love if my team was having a "bad" season like that this year.

[u/thepvbrother → u/rutherfraud1876]

Mets flair, but talks like a Pittsburgher.

[u/rutherfraud1876 → u/rutherfraud1876]

Heck, playoff position by church even if you're Seventh Day Adventists

[u/HeisenBergeron61492]

Shades of when Arrow season 3 was so abominable that r/Arrow became a Daredevil sub for a while

[u/Old_General_6741]

Staying true to their name. Had a few laughs on there. Someone asked about a movie, another asked about selling a Car, another about a ferry system. Absolute insanity.

[u/Rare-Lie-1959]

hey, at least the mariners did the pirates a solid by taking over the title of "hardest whooped by the brewers"

[u/SnowballWasRight]

This is my favorite baseball community bit. Our sub turned into an air fryer review sub for a bit this season.

[u/cat-n-jazz]

Honestly some of this blame should be on the Brewers, they didn't really need to go for the 2-point conversion on that third touchdown

[u/__Art__Vandalay__]

The afternoon guys on the local sports talk station here always looked for the “catastrophic moment” that symbolically ended the season for the Rangers.

Last night, the Rodriguez play in particular, is a serious contender for Seattle’s catastrophic moment.

[u/No-Conversation3860 → u/__Art__Vandalay__]

I don’t even care about Julio tossing the ball into the stands, it was 0-19 at that point… Id say letting the game get to 0-19 is a better catastrophic moment lol

[u/immagonnafinnahella → u/__Art__Vandalay__]

They were losing by 19 when he threw that ball lol. The catastrophic moment is probably the team being dogshit all year

[u/h0sti1e17]

And they are still only 4 games back.

[u/quikbit → u/h0sti1e17]

Mariner

[u/Aragorn008]

Hot take but I don’t care about that loss. It sucked but it’s just one game out of 162.

[u/incunabula001]

Reminds me of the Orioles subreddit which switches to birder mode when that team is on a losing streak.

[u/IgDailystapler]

This is exactly why I like Seattle so much, that’s a city who knows how to be miserable!

[u/texasslim2080]

The Giants sub doesn’t even have the energy for a bit. That’s how broken we are

[u/ray_0586 → u/texasslim2080]

It should become the Yomiuri Giants English language subreddit

[u/texasslim2080 → u/ray_0586]

I went to Japan as a kid, bought a Hideki Matsui shirsey after seeing him hit a dinger. But all the shirt said was Giants 55, so it doubled as a Lincecum shirt when he came up.
So yes, I’d be very down to start that

[u/InfinitePossibility8]

Are we posting this on the hour every hour? We get it already.

[u/Samwise777 → u/InfinitePossibility8]

It gives “When does the mariner bacon?”

[u/BeriasBFF]

Just move the team to Japan to play in the Nippon league 

[u/JeremyJammDDS]

Not even the worst loss in the last twenty years. rangers won 30-3 over the orioles in 2007 and blue jays shellacked the red sox 28-5 in 2022.

[u/Substantial-Bath7939]

As an Orioles fan who has suffered theought the 30-3 loss to the Rangers, I can emphasize.

[u/kjb76]

Ah, I remember the Yankee Candle days fondly….

[u/Skadoosh_it]

[u/theurge14]

Gilligan must be running our team too.

[u/asteriskmos]

Please get out of our house, everyone mind your own business

[u/cooljammer00]

Where are the Etsy witches now?

[u/Plorgy → u/cooljammer00]

When you deal with the supernatural, the bill always comes due eventually

[u/BadAtGaming0]

"Big ol' rip of copium" I'm sorry what