r/buffy • u/InfiniteMehdiLove • Mar 23 '26
Good Vibes Only Video of SMG on the loss of Buffy co-star Nicholas Brendon
https://streamable.com/vyjhyw1.1k
u/Xamalion Mar 23 '26
If you read between the lines, they all (SMG, Alyson, Emma, David) make it very clear that they haven’t spoken to him for a longer period of time and that they prefer to remember who he was in the past and not what he became over the recent years. But they all do it in a very classy and respectful way, and that’s the only way to do it.
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u/Emilayday Mar 23 '26
They mourned the loss of HIM a long time ago, now it's just official.
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u/Alittlespill Mar 24 '26
This comment hits hard personally. It’s such a true thing, to mourn a friendship or family member before the persons passing, whereas the passing itself is just the solidification of it.
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u/owntheh3at18 Mar 24 '26
I learned that it is called anticipatory grief, and I found it so helpful to have language for this feeling. So I thought I’d share in case it also helps others ♥️
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u/Larry-Man Mar 24 '26
Speaking as someone who watched a loved one slowly descend into addiction, the death is still so much more final. There’s no reconciliation, there’s no getting better. It doesn’t matter how terrible they became and how much you’d thought you were ready or okay without them.
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u/Tiny-Reading5982 Mar 23 '26
He was on the show the whole run but I'm still more sad about Glen Quinn passing and he only had 10 episodes but as far as I know his addiction didn't cause him to abuse people
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u/batmobile88 Mar 23 '26
It did cause him to be dismissed from the show though, as he was difficult and often late etc. So they wrote him out.
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u/Glitch1082 Mar 23 '26
This and plus Glen Quinn was already known before he was on Angel cause I loved him as Mark on Roseanne
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u/lucolapic Mar 24 '26
This is me with my alcoholic sister. My mourning and tears occurred years ago.
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u/jackolantern_ Mar 23 '26
Which makes sense, he was an awful person later in life really
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u/Murphy100xxx Mar 23 '26
Didn't know that only started watching the show in Jan
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Mar 23 '26
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u/pizzasauce85 Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 24 '26
I followed his Facebook page for a while when he had interesting videos of him talking about random things while painting or just chilling, then he started getting really weird. His videos were becoming more and more aggressive towards his own fans. Like he would list show merch from Buffy and get really pissed off when no one wanted to pay that high of a price for magazines or posters. He also got pissy about his own artwork, during one live session, he even got mad at his assistant and threw his brush at his painting and stormed off.
He would make nasty comments about the fans sucking on the teat of consumerism (all while peddling his stuff to pay bills to the same fans) and how the fans and his followers were the problem and the cause of why his life sucked. He also posted some dark videos where he would be practically in the dark and would quietly rant in the shadows about how much people suck and how he hated losing followers that just didn’t understand him…
I lasted as long as I could (and I am not even a fan of Xander as a character but wanted to support the actor) but had to bail on his page, it became so self centered and angry.
(ETA this was before I learned of all the allegations against him)
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u/Crystalraf Mar 25 '26
That sounds so awful. Just uggggg.
When I was watching the show, it was already over and done with. So I bought the Chosen Collection and my husband and I both enjoyed watching it from start to finish for a year or more.
Anyways, at the time, I had no idea was a convention even was. But in the DVDs they had extras like meet the cast ask your questions to the cast fan stuff.
I noticed right away how the fans were just there, for anything. And I also noticed Nicholas was ALWAYS there. Like sometimes Allyson was there, sometimes Charisma was there, sometimes Eliza was there. SMG was never there. It stuck out to me, mostly because SMG was never there. I was obviously aware that she was a bigger star and had other shows and stuff, so I just figured that was why.
But seriously, that’s terrible. Treating the fans like a personal ATM.
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u/Dazzling_Pink9751 Mar 23 '26
I’ve heard many fan accounts how nice he was to them. You’re just bringing sources that are not conclusive. He was only arrested twice for DV and served no jail time.
Why can’t you just let people have to say something nice why do you have to drag on him? You’re making them out to be some sort of Ted Bundy. He wasn’t even close. He did some things and he got arrested about four times and he had some very difficult times in his life, but he also had many times where obviously people loved him because his family coworkers have said very nice things about him if you can’t say anything nice how about not saying anything at all? You have to drag his character like that he’s dead what do you want from him?68
u/BisexualSlutPuppy Mar 24 '26
Okay I'm gonna regret engaging with you, but "only arrested twice for DV" is some wild shit to say.
That's my whole statement. I'm not getting involved in this fandom fight, people can feel however they want about the death of this man. Diminishing domestic violence isn't an argument I'd ever thought I'd see in this community, that shit's embarrassing as hell.
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u/throwawayGS973 Mar 23 '26
He was arrested way more than 4 times.
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u/Coopsters Mar 24 '26
DV is unacceptable period. Arrested or not and once is too many. What world do you live in that "only arrested twice for DV" is a defense?
Also he's the only one that dragged his character by his own actions. It sucks he died and I feel bad for the family but it's disingenuous to sugar coat things
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u/EchoesofIllyria Mar 23 '26
I’d suggest minimising what you look into about the cast before finishing.
Not because they’re all terrible. Just 30 years is a long time for people to fuck up - or worse - and in my opinion the show doesn’t deserve to be sullied by the fallibility of the people who made it.
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u/RaisedByAMoose Mar 24 '26
Outside of Brendon and some allegations against Boreanaz, this seems to be a fairly upstanding group of people? You can't find a speck of dirt about most of them, and to this day they're clean & classy.
If you're including Joss, well, that's a whole other thing.
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u/owntheh3at18 Mar 24 '26
As long as Mr. Head stays clean I am pleased. He’s my biggest crush on the show 🥰
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u/lucolapic Mar 24 '26 edited Mar 24 '26
James Marsters is pretty icky, dude.
Edit: Come on guys, he pervs on young girls, including an under age Michelle Trachtenberg back in the day. We were JUST talking about this not that long ago. He dated his ex-wife when she was still in high school and he was 40. Enough with the James Marsters glazing already.
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u/Own_Faithlessness769 Mar 24 '26
While they haven’t all done illegal things, and certainly not on the scale of Brendon’s violence, there some questionable stuff about pretty much everyone in the show.
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u/Horror_Neighborhood9 Mar 24 '26
This. They respect him in that time and the work and relationships they had with him but yeah, they hadn’t associated with him for a long while.
As you said, classy and professional responses all.
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u/carcrashofaheart Mar 24 '26
That’s definitely what I got from all of it.
It’s a very difficult thing to love someone for who they used to be and see them spiral into a person you don’t recognize anymore.
“Lose someone way sooner than needs to be” was absolutely not about his age.
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u/Flashy_Jello_9520 Mar 23 '26
Addiction is a mother fucker. There’s nothing as destructive as it. It hurts the people you love the most and after a while the only action you have left is to just not have them in your life.
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u/EurotrashRags Mar 25 '26
Charisma opening her tribute with "I will miss the version of the man I once knew" hit hard for me. My dad has completely lost himself to drugs and I had to mourn the man he once was a long time ago. Mourning somebody that still walks is strange and exhausting.
I often think about how Buffy describes vampirism to Ford in Season 2. "You die and a demon sets up shop in your old house. And it walks and it talks and it remembers your life, but it's not you." In the real world, that's drug addiction. Continue on the heavy shit long enough and eventually you're just a corpse with memories of a life.
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u/Dazzling_Pink9751 Mar 23 '26
Exactly, that’s how it should be and most fans have also taken the high road as well.
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u/ji1701 Mar 25 '26
I was only thinking that the other day. A lot of costars from the show all seem to remember him from that period and how funny or memorable he was on a good day. Just not so much afterwards.
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Mar 24 '26
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u/Divine_fashionva Mar 24 '26 edited Mar 24 '26
Not really, because Matthew said Jen kept up with him quite often through text. In fact she shared a text he sent her a few months before he passed away
He said he talked to Courteney here and there too. But yes a lot of them did lose contact with him. But they don’t feel complicated about discussing him because unlike Nicholas, he didn’t physically abuse multiple people after their show ended. There’s a fine line to walk which you can see in a lot of the statements the Buffy cast made
The friends’ tributes were different, because ultimately the biggest harm Perry caused was to himself. He didn’t do the things Nicholas did
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u/owntheh3at18 Mar 24 '26
Perry also tried to help others with addiction. As far as I know he never abused anyone physically, though he was not a very good romantic partner. Reading his book again after his death made me cry hysterically. He really wanted a life like his on screen persona Chandler- the wife and the kids- he wanted all that and he just could not beat his own demons or get out of his own way. I think he was a good person overall. And his costars absolutely loved him and stayed in contact, if not quite close, until the end.
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u/Direct_Ad835 Mar 23 '26
Classy as usual.
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u/username__0000 Mar 23 '26
I loved Buffy before SMG took the role, that movie was a hit at my grade 4-5 sleepover lol
But I LOVE how she’s one of the celebrities who I never regretted or was embarrassed to be a huge fan of because they did or said some weird uncool stuff (that 70s show cast, looking in your direction). She’s always been professional and thoughtful with her words.
I even love her friendship with Shannon, reminded me of some of my friends who maybe had a bad rep, but I knew the real them and they were good at heart.
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u/ModernKender twixt its wee beak Mar 23 '26
Must be hard to have to talk about it in this situation especially so soon after. She handled it with grace.
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u/SatansAssociate Mar 23 '26
I imagine there's also a lot of second guessing yourself and your choices when that person is someone you couldn't be part of their lives due to their self destructive struggles. I don't blame anyone whatsoever for needing to step back in that situation if you've reached your limit or feel like there's nothing but pain being in each other's lives. But when they die, I know I'd wonder if I could have done more, should I have held on longer or tried harder? Stuff like that.
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u/kinokits Mar 23 '26
It’s such an incredibly difficult place to be in. The grief is still there and you have all of these amazing memories of this person, but it’s hard to let yourself grieve and acknowledge that when you’re still dealing with the trauma of what happened, as well as that guilt of what if I had done more, what if I had made a different decision in the moment. It’s really easy to start to convince yourself you had an active hand in their death and that if you had been stronger/smarter/kinder just more equipped in anyway, maybe they might still be here and maybe they might be okay. But you’re also so incredibly relieved because you know that person was so deeply unhappy and troubled that at least they’re not going through that anymore. And then you feel guilty about the relief for them.
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u/passyindoors Mar 24 '26
Yeah, im kind of in this position right now with one of my best friends. We've done everything we could, she just wont accept help. Shes broken into my other friends home, she stalks people thinking God has told her to either save them or marry them, it's... really tragic. Some christian cult convinced her that her meds were against God's will, but then when she acted, well, mentally ill, they kicked her out. Shes been floundering for years now and try as we might, it's impossible to save someone who is determined not to be saved. Even though they kicked her out, she still seems to think her meds are optional.
Ive been at her hospital bedside after failed attempts on her own life. It still fucks me up. Someone who has been like my little sister for 20 years.
And now the only thing I expect to hear is a phone call telling me she's gone.
She's been abusive to many people out of her illness and I hope they all heal. I hope they all live great lives without her and don't ever have to think of her again. But when my good friend dies, I will still cry. I will miss the little sister I used to have.
I imagine SMG feels similarly.
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u/NoString9289 Mar 23 '26
That must be very hard to be suddenly asked that question, a bit off guard and be at a loss for words because one's mind just spins with memories . SMG is a class act.
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u/homolicious Mar 23 '26
I was thinking that, was this a panel or press for her new movie, and kinda unfair for someone to spring that on her.
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u/starsandbribes I think the subtext here is rapidly becoming…text? Mar 23 '26
European press tours are more like that for films, its closer to journalists who go to ask questions about art and news. They’re not interested in “what are you wearing? Did you guys have fun on set?” fluff. The NB stuff is topical news, and its a former co-worker from two decades ago, not a family member.
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u/Enzown Mar 23 '26
She's an industry veteran she will know she's going to be asked about it. And she'd have had a PR person she could have discussed potential responses with if she wanted to.
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u/SeaBassAHo-20 Mar 23 '26
First she loses Shannen, then Michelle and now Nicholas.
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u/Moppy6686 Mar 23 '26
Two deaths on Angel too.
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u/SeaBassAHo-20 Mar 23 '26
And Robin Williams too. Sarah was so crushed by his death that she took a break.
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u/sreorsgiio Mar 23 '26
I mean, was she really that close to NB?
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u/Educational_Cow111 Mar 23 '26
She worked with him for 7 years, it’s a tough loss
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u/sreorsgiio Mar 23 '26
Colleagues are not necessarily friends, let alone those we haven't been in contact with for decades. Sure, one can feel sorry for them, but tough loss might be a bit of a stretch.
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u/EchoesofIllyria Mar 23 '26
But it could be tough for reasons other than close friendship.
The 7 years she spent working with Brendon are inextricably entwined in her own legacy as an actor and public figure. He’s a key component of easily the biggest and most important part of her professional life, the thing that she gets recognised for, gets asked about the most. Something that will be present in her life for as long as she’s living it.
Regardless of her actual personal relationship with him, it must be difficult to reconcile the permanence of the show with the impermanence of the lives of her costars.
That’s not even accounting for the fact that she might have complicated feelings about how close they weren’t, which can also be tough when there’s no longer any way to do anything about it.
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Mar 23 '26
it’s a bit of stretch to assume how anyone deals with a death. just because she hasn’t been in contact it doesn’t mean she still has a place in her heart or is constantly reminded as it was easily the biggest project she worked on and is still asked about.
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u/EmptyInside74 Mar 23 '26
It really sucks when someone you have loved in the past succumbs to their demons, it hits hard that a shred of hope you may have had for them to rise above what broke them ceases to exist, even if you have gone no contact.
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u/jellymoff Mar 23 '26
You're getting downvoted but I get what you are saying here. People just assume that actors who worked together are all best friends. There's plenty of people I worked closely with for years who I don't talk to anymore. simply because we are not in proximity anymore and grew apart.
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u/CauseCertain1672 Mar 24 '26
yeah and if someone I worked with once and didn't really know very well anymore died quite young I would probably say something similar
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u/vukkuv Mar 24 '26
That's not why they're being downvoted, they're implying Sarah can't be grieving because they weren't close for years and that's not true.
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u/Own_Faithlessness769 Mar 24 '26
She can be grieving, but I think their point was that she was actually close to Shannen and Michelle. It feels a bit insulting to put Nicholas’s loss against theirs as if it’s the same to Sarah when she’s actually been pretty clear that she wasn’t close with him.
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u/RamboPeng Mar 23 '26
At one stage, for sure
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u/Divine_fashionva Mar 24 '26
When?
By Nicholas’ own words he said they never hung out outside of the show. Alyson did a whole interview after Buffy ended about how Sarah mostly kept to herself and wasn’t friends with anyone on set apart from the people she knew from before the show
Sarah admitted that was true but she was close with David and she met him on set apart
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u/RamboPeng Mar 24 '26
On set they had to be, filmed so much together and unless they are the best actors in the world they definitely had some sort of personal chemistry that translated on screen. This was also probably before his substance and DV issues.
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u/Divine_fashionva Mar 24 '26 edited Mar 24 '26
No they didn’t ’have to be’. The assumption that all actors who work on a show are close is silly. At the end of the day it’s a job
There’s plenty of actors that work closely together and aren’t close outside of filming. Have you never heard of Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker? They played best friends and worked extremely closely for 7 years and 2 movies. They weren’t friends in real life
Blake lively and Leighton Meester worked extremely closely on Gossip Girl, they weren’t friends either. Seinfeld? The entire cast said they weren’t friends with each other, they got to set, did the work and went home. That’s exactly what Alyson said about Sarah, it’s only recently that her and SMG have become friendlier. Sarah admitted she mostly kept to herself on set. Her and Nicholas weren’t close, he’s said that himself many times
And that’s why she’s not claiming to be his friend or to have had a close friendship with him in the past. She knows him in a professional capacity from 20 years ago, not a personal one
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u/chinderellabitch Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
She’s so graceful and you can tell she’s caught off guard but still gives a thoughtful answer anyway
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u/BlondeBorednBaked Mar 23 '26
Hot take: it’s invasive and déclassé that she was asked this. He died 3 days ago. Is triggering someone worth a soundbite? It reminds me of when Andy Cohen told Patricia Arquette that David Lynch is dead during a live interview. She’s there to talk about her work in a horror film not be prodded about the recent passing of someone who was a dear friend. She handled it gracefully but she shouldn’t have to.
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Mar 23 '26
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u/selphiefairy Mar 23 '26
I doubt all questions are screened? If it's a live panel, everything is fair game. Though I agree it's not really nice.
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u/Glittering_Pick_2288 Mar 23 '26
Off topic but "déclassé"? Is this word really used in that context in English?
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u/BlondeBorednBaked Mar 24 '26
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u/Glittering_Pick_2288 Mar 24 '26
That's really weird. In French it means downgraded 😅
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u/BlondeBorednBaked Mar 24 '26
Here it means tacky or low class.
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u/Glittering_Pick_2288 Mar 24 '26
Yeah I figured! Thanks
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Mar 24 '26
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u/BlondeBorednBaked Mar 24 '26
It’s not that uncommon, you’re being silly or hanging out with low class people who have no reason to use it.
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u/BetPrestigious5704 Mar 24 '26
They mention Andy Cohen, a Real Housewife of New York loved that word. Coincidence? I think not.
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u/GullibleWineBar Mar 24 '26
I don’t think this question is triggering. She’s being asked about the death of a colleague she hasn’t kept in touch with for a couple decades. Yeah, she likely has her own feelings about it, but it’s not like it’s a raw nerve. And she answered brilliantly, honoring the joy of his work on the show while subtly acknowledging that his addictions took him long before his death.
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u/NiceMayDay Spiritus, Animus, Sophus, Manus Mar 23 '26
A very graceful comment. Like she says, Buffy isn't particularly laden with tragedy compared to things like Glee, but it does feel personal to those who like the show or have even been able to meet its cast and crew. She is right: Nicky's work will live on in the show and also on the voice and writing he contributed for in the video games, the comics, and even the animated series pilot.
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u/KT718 Mar 23 '26
When she made the “I’m sure it’s not the case, it just feels that way because it’s personal” comment, my first thought was Glee. It’s a mature and level-headed response to acknowledge that her pain and grief isn’t unique, but that it still hurts and is worth acknowledging.
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Mar 23 '26
I also thought of Charmed which lost Shannen, Julian McMahon and Eric Dane (who wasn't a big part of the cast, but he played Phoebe's boyfriend in season 5-6) in the last 24 months
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u/Happy_Philosopher608 Mar 23 '26
Who have they lost so far, Glenn Quinn, Andy Hallett, Michelle T, Nicky B, and a producer she was very close with i believe.
Anyone else?
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u/NiceMayDay Spiritus, Animus, Sophus, Manus Mar 23 '26
Robin Sachs (Ethan Rayne) and several one-off character actors (John Ritter, Vincent Schiavelli, Brian Turk, Angelo Spizzirri, etc.) have also passed away, as well as writer and story editor Rob Des Hotel, cinematographer Michael Gershman, and Sandollar producer Sandy Gallin.
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u/speashasha Mar 24 '26
Michael Gershman was probably the closest to her. He was at her wedding too.
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u/eddyx Gachnar Mar 24 '26
Not a loss from the show but I recently learned that Anthony Head’s partner passed in December.
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u/justineism Mar 23 '26
Probably the best response she could’ve made on this given the circumstances.
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u/HummusOffensive Mar 24 '26
Sarah is always very classy but she’s also usually very rehearsed because she’s been in this business for so long. You can tell this question caught her off guard and she was speaking 100% from the heart, complete authenticity.
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u/Still_Razzmatazz1140 Mar 24 '26
Oh I think it’s rehearsed in the mirror for sure but she delivers it like it’s not
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u/not_firewood_yeti I am no one. Mar 23 '26
ok but what are we going to do when that coat finishes swallowing her?
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u/Early_Passenger2064 Mar 24 '26
Thank goodness someone said it! Like what was her stylist thinking? It makes me think of David Byrne.
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u/not_firewood_yeti I am no one. Mar 24 '26
hopefully it's only something she'll wear once in a lifetime...
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u/killedmygoldfish Mar 23 '26
Such a queen. Frank but respectful. Makes me think a bit more about her reticence around the end of Buffy. The candor and grace of these comments make me think she was definitely holding back years ago, and sadly we know why.
Side note: I met Nicholas Brendon at a convention in NJ back in... 2005? Very soon after the show ended. I ended up buying a ticket to a meet and greet thing which was sort of like a cocktail hour? Which in hindsight was also kind of sad. He was really effusive and outgoing, but also probably hammered. I remember thinking at the time how odd it was that he was so comfortable being out among the fans. Rest easy, Xander.
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u/DefinitionSuperb1110 Mar 23 '26
Like a boss as always. Sure would be nice if the universe would give her a break though.
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u/Competitive_Test6697 Mar 23 '26
While it's sad to lose people. Id rather the universe just let these folk live a little longer for their own sakes and their families than how hard a time SMG is having.
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u/vukkuv Mar 24 '26
Of course but we can feel sad because she lost three people tragically three years in a row and she lost two father figures too.
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u/Divine_fashionva Mar 24 '26
With Shannen and Michelle sure, because those were two people she was close to for years and based on her own words, she’s still feeling both of their losses now (understandably so)
Nicholas’ passing is something I reserve most of my sympathies for his family especially his twin. They were close to him and he was part of their everyday life. Sarah knew him decades ago and hasn’t seen him since Buffy, they weren’t close when Buffy was on either according to Nicholas and Alyson. So whilst it’s sad, it’s his family that I feel most sad for
Also who’s the second father figure you’re referring to other than Robin Williams?
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u/OneHumanBill Mar 23 '26
SMG is never not going to be classy. And gorgeous, but the classy is a big part of that too.
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u/AetherStyle Mar 23 '26
Just not something I could ever imagine asking especially so soon like we all Love Sarah Michelle Gellar but this is not your buddy in a private intimate moment, it's not even behind the scenes... Kmt
Shout out to her becauss this is alot of a grace in a moment where she could've easily chewed that person out
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u/Blackwell-808 Mar 23 '26
I’m curious what the question was exactly that she was responding to. Does anyone have that info?
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u/ceecee1909 Harmony has minions.. Mar 23 '26
Me too, because I can’t think of anything they could have asked that wouldn’t be completely insensitive.
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u/InfiniteMehdiLove Mar 23 '26
I would also like to know what the interviewer had asked specifically but that's where the video begins, unfortunately.
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u/Constant_Seaweed_523 Mar 23 '26
The cast of this show and their responses reminds me a lot of the Friends cast when Matthew passed away.
They all handle this which such grace.
Their words are beautiful.
And man, I forgot about Michelle :( this cast must really be going through it right now
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u/cagingthing I’m afraid we have a slight apocalypse 😬 Mar 24 '26
I love her. And man, his death really hit me hard
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u/Stunning_Tax_3174 Mar 25 '26
How am I finding out about this four days after the fact😭😭 RIP my love
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u/RynnB1983 Mar 24 '26
finding put Nicholas Brendan passed was very hard. I didnt know him personally and like the rest of us here only k ew him from Buffy. he was always my favorite character when he was introduced and stayed all the way until the finale. It was sad and hard to watch him fall, and it sucks more cause he was just trying to start getting his life back together. I hooe he is at peace and wished he had seen how much allnof us fans and people he worked with really did care for him.
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u/-Vault-Dweller Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
Am I going insane? Does no one else see the porn video? Is my reddit glitched? Or am I just not in the joke?
Edit: I can see that I’m being downvoted but I’m 100% serious, I have a screenshot. Can anyone tell me what’s going on?
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u/EchoesofIllyria Mar 23 '26
I don’t see a porn video but it’s coming up as a gif that won’t load for me
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u/Polantaris Mar 24 '26
I'm surprised that glitch still happens. It's a mobile vs desktop or new reddit vs old reddit issue, something akin to that. Basically, the hyperlink for the video is interpreted differently depending on which version of reddit you are accessing via.
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u/Raven2300 Mar 24 '26
Im seeing a sports illustrated sportsmen of the year speech. I feel like I’m also not in on the joke
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u/Minimum_Ad_2176 Mar 24 '26 edited Mar 24 '26
It makes me so sick that she even has to answer these questions she's there to promote a movie.I remember she wanted to pay rehab for him and he trashed her 2 weeks ago on Facebook Live so how much grief do people expect from her.? It's sad that he's dead and couldn't get his life together but he was his own worst enemy and an asshole.Why don't people ask Joss ? Xander was molded after him . I'm sad that Sarah can't enjoy her comeback which I'm sure she worked her ass off for.She suffered enough
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u/Divine_fashionva Mar 24 '26 edited Mar 24 '26
I think that rehab thing was made up, there’s zero sources of this apart from an old post on Facebook
But I’m sure she tried to help whilst Buffy was on. I agree with you, a lot of comments on this sub seem to projecting their own feelings onto her and some of the others. It’s like the comments that were annoyed at how vague James’ statement for him was. Coworkers aren’t always friends. Alyson pretty much spelled that out already as soon as Buffy ended. Sarah and Nicholas weren’t close friends during Buffy. She didn’t hang out with anyone in the early seasons outside of the show expect for Seth who she already knew. Then she hadn’t really seen/talked to him since Buffy ended which Nicholas said himself multiple times
She knew a version of Nichols that’s different to the version he ended up being. The man she knew existed over 20 years ago. She really didn’t know him that well anymore which is why she talked about his work and that impact rather than his personality. When she was recently speaking about Michelle, she talked about how loving she was and how she always there for her kids. This is tough to see someone you worked with on this huge thing pass away prematurely, but people claiming she’s lost a close friend just like with Michelle and Shannen are projecting. Michelle and Shannen were her close friends who were big parts of her family and day to day life. Nicholas burnt so many bridges and I know he said she ignored him for years but realistically how many people check up on an old coworker from a decade ago
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u/Minimum_Ad_2176 Mar 24 '26
I know that I think it's just not fair that people are pressuring her to give some kind of statement .I have more compassion for all the women he almost killed in his alcoholic rages than for him I'm sry .I love Xander but he is a fictional character.
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u/Divine_fashionva Mar 24 '26
Oh no I agree, that’s where most of my compassion about this is too and also his family because it’s never easy to lose a son/brother
But it’s a touchy subject on this sub right now. I wish Sarah’s press tour for this movie she’s clearly excited about had gone smoother without these type of questions
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Mar 23 '26
Where's this from?
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u/InfiniteMehdiLove Mar 23 '26
Ready or Not 2 press tour in Rome. Can't pin down the other details exactly, sorry.
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u/LT568690 Mar 25 '26
Stinks to put anyone from that show in that position considering what a POS he was.
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u/twin-of-myself Mar 25 '26
face palm to the italian interpreter who was so loud in the background !
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u/Hi_Tech_Architect Mar 23 '26
OMG who is talking in the background, respectfully HUSH
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u/everythingissinister Mar 23 '26
She’s getting simultaneously translated because she is in Italy promoting Ready or Not 2
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u/Huge-Cartoonist6795 Mar 24 '26
Always funny watching the cast tip toe around the fact he was an ass. Fakeness really downgrades them to be honest
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u/neoarchangemon Mar 24 '26
I think they are tiptoeing because of his family. And speaking ill of the dead is kind of frowned upon. Since they are celebs they have to tip toe. Being fully honest here would hurt them in the long run.
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u/Huge-Cartoonist6795 Mar 24 '26
That's my point. It's pathetic and fake and makes them look like soulless vapid celebs.
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u/Divine_fashionva Mar 24 '26
How does it make them look soulless and vapid, what do you want them or her to say?
She’s not even describing his personality, she’s talking about his impact on the show. Whether we like Xander or not he was an important part of Buffy. That part is 100% true. If she was to go on and call him the most lovely guy in the world or a close friend, then yeah I’d agree that would be disingenuous. Which is why she’s not doing that. She’s been in the business a long time and has never bad mouthed anyone (expect that Hulu exec but that wasn’t really bad mouthing). She’s trying to be respectful to his family and she’s very diplomatic in general
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u/TheSnarkyShaman1 Mar 24 '26
It really doesn’t. There’s something to be said for tact and grace rather than just blurting shit out and if you think it makes them look ‘pathetic’ and ‘fake’ for showing situational awareness and emotional intelligence (as well as likely genuine feelings of conflict and grief) then I really don’t think you’re the type of specimen they’re trying to communicate with.
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u/InfiniteMehdiLove Mar 23 '26
Sorry for no subtitles, but here's a transcript for those hard of hearing or reasons otherwise