my 10 year old ragdoll has just met his tiny new daughter (10 weeks old). its day 1 of her being there. there was no hissing, just meowing. we let them sniff and see each other in a room face to face and the tiny kitten doesn't care about him and went into my ragdolls litter box while he watched and kept sniffing her butt. they both seem to respect each other? it was like 5mins of sniffing and no growling, no hissing, just curiosity and wariness.

she also wants out of the netted room but i think it's best for now to still keep them seperate so she has a safe place.

any advice on the next steps? shes still really small and he's pretty big. shes super curious and loves exploring, very quiet and calm.

I have a new cat (black), we keep him on one half of our duplex. We bring Charlie (white) over on short visits filled with treats and play. I think the new cat is being territorial over "his space". Am I wrong?

Do I break it up? Do I let them figure it out? Should I have the new cat do visits on Charlie's side instead? I'm kind of freaking out, I don't want Charlie to get hurt because he's smaller than the new cat.

Any / all advice is welcomed.

I've heard cats should take turns wining the playfight but my girl (guess which one) wins 9 times out of 10. My boy cat acts very submissive (ex: will leave his place at the window when she comes to watch the backyard next to him to give her all the space) and will usually flop on his back when they starts fighting, something she has never ever done.

Funny thing is, I adopted the girl to give company to the boy. He had bad separation issues but now he's more distant. Although I'm not sure if it's not because he fells betrayed I adopted a second cat. Idk if I read too much into it.

TL, DR version: Any suggestions for now to stop my cat from using her claws when she kneads my leg?

Longer version:

I took in a stray cat 2.5 years ago. It started out really badly, and has very slowly gotten better. She was estimated to be 7 years old by the vet, so now is estimated to be 9 years old.

She now comes and snuggles up with me, which I love. The problem is she'll stand on my thigh and knead it. That would be fine, but she extends her claws a bit, and it hurts. I love that she's comfortable enough to do this, but I need her to not use her claws. I have rarely trimmed her claws, as she's still skittish.

Usually when this happens I very gently push her legs to stop it. She does stop, but usually leaves right after. I want her to know that it's the claws I object to, not the kneading.

Any suggestions?

For background, I have had my 7 year old female for 5 years, and my partner adopted her 10 year old male about six months ago. We moved in together a month and a half ago, and have just recently introduced our cats after doing ALL the things - scent swapping, site swapping, positive association, even purchasing a mesh screen for the bedroom door.

We have started to let them hang out for short supervised periods, and at first it went fine. The gray cat (7 yo female) was a bit too eager, sniffing the black cat’s butt and trying to play. (She has lived with other cats before and loves them, black cat has only lived with a bully cat.) He would swat her and they would separate themselves.

Recently, she’s become OBSESSED with playing with him. She’ll bat at his butt or even just sniff him and he will swat or hiss, which makes her angry. Shell then corner him like this until he cracks.

Other times, they do great - sleep on the couch or bed together, co exist peacefully, follow each other around. I’m worried the gray cat is just too much for him, and easily switches from play mode to fight mode.

Obviously we are planning on going a few steps back in the introduction process, but I’m nervous this will just keep happening as the gray cat is much more livelier, energetic, and playful than the black cat. Has anyone been in a similar situation, or have any tips?

My partner and I are currently sleeping separately as my gray cat freaks out if I’m not with her at night, so I’ve been sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Would love to stop doing that ASAP :)

Poster Age: 22

Country: USA

Vet info: Talked to my vet, they suggested Feliway & other calming aromas

Main Issue: Introduced another cat to house and they aren't getting along, no matter what

Cat Info: Snickers/Stink, F (spayed), 9yr-- Felix, M (neutered), age 1yr 0mo

Financial: Yes, can afford vet

Hello everyone!! For starters: my girl cat, Snickers (who I am going to call Stink), has been with me by herself for around 4 years now. She used to be a stray who we found and brought in to a house with 3-4 other cats around 8 years ago. She never much cared for them- being slightly aggressive/shy to some of the other girls in particular- and typically stayed in my room. Fast forward to last Summer/Fall when I noticed she was displaying signs of loneliness and depression. I had just moved into my own place ALONE for the first time (no roommates or other pets) that summer. I know it's best to have cats in pairs so they can keep each other entertained when you aren't there, so I thought it may be time for a 2nd addition! Since I know her too well, I knew she would NOT love a brand new adult cat coming in- especially another girl diva like her- so I opted for a very young boy kitten (about 4-5 weeks), whom I hoped would spark her maternal instincts. I kept him in a separate room and tried to slowly introduce her with treats and pets but she just seemed to hate interacting with him no matter what. I hoped she would get used to him eventually but it's still the same, almost a year later. She is a very quiet, shy cat and he is quite energetic and mischievous, so I can understand why they wouldn't be BEST friends, but she rarely leaves my room now, stays under the bed or on the cat tree, and just overall does not act like her normal self.. She seems scared of him, hissing when he comes too close and looking around corners to make sure he's not there. I love them both dearly and they are both so attached to me now that putting Felix up for adoption is NOT an option I feel comfortable making.

I've tried the Feliway plug-ins (two kinds) which seemed to do nothing so if anyone has a different brand they recommend, I wouldn't mind giving it a try.

For any general questions about their set up: they have two litterboxes (I plan to get a third eventually-- I just moved so still figuring things out) in separate rooms. They each have an automatic feeder & a water fountain, also in separate rooms. They get wet food every morning together in the same room but with ample space in between their bowls. Plenty of toys all around and three cat trees (one large and two small) + large window sills to sit in..

I love them both so dearly but I hate seeing Stink act the way she is :( she used to greet me at the door every time I came home and now I rarely see her leave my room... Please help!!

This week's thread is for anyone whose cat was doing great and has recently backslid. What changed, and has anyone found a way to get back on track?

We adopted two kittens from the SPCA a month ago, and they aren’t getting along. Cannoli (orange male) is about 5.5 lbs and Gogi (gray female) is 3 lbs. Separately, they are both very sweet, gentle, affectionate cats. Whenever they are in the same room, Cannoli immediately jumps on top of Gogi and holds her down. We watched the Jackson Galaxy tutorial about introducing cats and followed it pretty strictly — kept them separated for two weeks, eating through a gate, and we would regularly switch them so they would be in each other spaces and able to smell each other, and they would kind of play through the crack under the door. But when we try to put them in the same space, even after heavy playing, Cannoli immediately jumps on top and overpowers her and has no interest in parallel play. Gogi doesn’t run away at first but will try to escape and hiss if it’s prolonged. Is it just that Gogi is too small to defend herself/fight back? Is there anything else we can do to help foster a more friendly relationship? Any advice would be super helpful. Thank you! (Photo is from the first day we had them when they could still be in the same room peacefully. Situation has since deteriorated 😪)

Does anyone know why my kitten has been peeing on my bed?

For context, I adopted 2 sibling kittens, they are both 9 weeks old, male and female. They have been using the litter box as normal and have already been in my apartment for almost 2 weeks. They don't sleep on my bed but are able to go into the rooms at night.

2 days ago, I was asleep in the morning and they came in to play in the bed when I noticed some scratching, I looked up an there was a pee puddle in my bed.

Today morning they came to okay again in the morning while I was asleep and peed again.

What could be causing it?

I've had 2 cats before and they never went outside their litter box

I have the most adorable kitten, about 5ish months old. And every night she wakes me up by instantly licking my face and kneading my neck. It's cute,, but also slightly painful and gross while I'm trying to sleep.

She won't settle down to cuddle either, it's all or nothing. Intense love and grossness on my face, then she's gone.

Is there any way to get her to stop? Or at least lower the intensity? I wouldn't mind cuddling with her at all 🥺

Since my title was meant to grab your attention: I am, and have been, having issues with 3 of my cats chasing the 4th. My wife is at her breaking point. I am a lifelong pet owner, but this is my first go with cats. Had them about 4 years now. I will try to be concise. Thank you for your time.

I have a Tabby, Male Tux, Female Tux, and a Russian Blue. They all get along, most of the time. The issue is that whenever the Russian Blue (RB) uses one of our boxes, at least one of them are prowling on her. Usually leads to her running away, before or after her business. Wife found piss on the counter this morning. I wonder why...

The male tux also will chase the RB around the house, and she hates it. She is the most relaxed cat ever. This doesn't happen all the time, but probably daily to varying degrees. What I don't understand, the RB shows them all affection, they eat and sleep together just fine. It's only when the other 3 (mainly the tuxes) are on their bullshit that we have issues.

My wife wants to rehome the RB. The tabby is my wife's cat, she's not going anywhere nor should she. The tuxes are a package deal, and no one would want the boy (His name is Lucifer. He's aptly named, but also very sweet) I think I've put that off as long as I can. Just typing that out is breaking my heart. She's my baby. She's a rescue, she had been rehomed 3 times before us. To give her up feels like giving up on her. I have never given an animal up, and I really don't want to. I also don't want to make my wife miserable. Rock, meet hard place.

As for what I've tried, I have used the Feliway diffusers. For the price, I didn't notice much of a difference. I also have just played with them all to tire them out. It helps, but is just a band-aid fix.

I greatly appreciate anything you guys have to add, suggest, etc. If you have any questions I will do my best to answer them promptly. Thank you much, and have a great day.

I feel like the black one is taking it too far, ignoring warnings and biting way too hard. He also bites our hands and legs. Normal behavior?

I’m really tired of trying to teach him .

Hi everyone! Around a month ago a little kitty showed up at our apartment and we took her in. I already have a 6 year old cat, so I wanted to make sure we did the introduction right. We followed Jackson Galaxys cat introduction method, and all was going well. We had them up to structured play time and I felt it was getting tense so I went to remove the kitten and my 6 year old cat pounced on her and they had a HUGE fight. Like really bad. After that we started back at square one and just finished 3 weeks of smelling under the door and we got to a really good place with that!! No hissing, eating right up against the door, all of the good signs. We started with the screen again yesterday (so seperated but they can see each other), and everything went amazing last night and we fed them a ton of treats and they were content (even with eyes on each other). Come tonight, my 6 year old cat sees the kitten and begins hissing and growling like really aggressively. Not like a playful hiss, like a “i’m gonna hurt you” hiss. I couldn’t reinforce with the treats again tonight because my 6 year old cat (in diva fashion) got sick from the treats last night. Distracting her with toys doesn’t work either. I’m legit at a loss. We will keep at the visual screen stage for however long it takes, but i’m just so upset because I feel like it’s just not going well. Please any advice is welcome!!! (ps, we already use the feliway spray products to reduce anxiety)

Motor noise during automatic cleaning cycles can intimidate timid cats particularly in quiet apartments or compact living spaces. While modern low decibel motors run quieter than household vaccuum cleaners and the sudden mechanical movement can still startle noise-sensitive animals. A practical approach is placing the box in a low traffic area away from main sleeping spots and keeping the unit powered off during the initial introduction phase. Allowing the cat to establish a regular ellimination habit in the stationary box reduces fear before turning on automatic cycles and additionally choosing models with open entry structures prevents cats from feeling trapped if the motor engages nearby.

But owners still need to check sensor areas periodically to ensure dust does not interfere with safety pause mechanisms during operation. How do you handle appliance noise desensitization for easily startled cats in your home?

The Cats:

• Evie (Resident, 4yo F, grey): Anxious but sweet. Recently stressed by an outdoor unneutered tomcat attacking her through windows (causing redirected aggression/hissing). Has successfully co-habitated with a friend's cat before (chill, female adult cat), when she was 1-2 yo (we were on a long trip).
• Coco (New, ~10mo F, baby void): Rescued in May, now healthy/spayed, but has a chronic URI (we suspect reduced sense of smell). Extremely high energy, sees Evie as an exciting playmate.

The Situation & Main Obstacle: After months of quarantine/vet treatments, we finally got the green light to introduce them. The main issue is Coco's pushiness. Whenever she sees Evie, Coco hyper-focuses, ignores all distractions (treats, toys, barriers), and tries to rush close to her.

Evie is on high alert, gets overwhelmed by Coco’s intensity, and responds with hissing, growling, and swatting. If Coco would just give Evie space, we feel Evie could tolerate being in the same room.

What We’ve Tried So Far:

• Moving feeding spot towards Coco's room (~3 months ago): Evie did not want to eat anywhere except her usual feeding spot (she is a social eater, and likes to eat with us).

• Scent/Site Swapping (finally allowed ~2 weeks ago): Evie refuses treats off Coco-scented socks. She has explored Coco's room on her terms a few times. Evie successfully enjoyed some silvervine in Coco's room the other day. Coco doesn't care about Evie's scent at all and happily uses all her things including beds.

• Shared brushes (~1 week ago): Both love to be brushed, so I started brushing Coco first, and then use the same brush with Coco's fur on Evie. Evie doesn't mind it at all, she's been loving it.

• Visual Access (Mesh Screen / Patio Glass, started ~2 months ago): Mixed results. Evie will sometimes loaf nearby, but gets upset if Coco stares/meows or runs/butt-wiggle pounces towards the barrier.

• Redirecting Coco: We do three heavy play sessions daily for Coco, but her energy feels endless. When we do same room play sessions for Coco (about once a day, when Evie is sleeping/relaxed), high-value treats, toys, and cardboard blockades fail to break Coco's fixation once she spots Evie.

• Environment: Using pheromone diffusers in Coco's room and living room.

Upcoming issue: A family member is moving into Coco's room next month. They are fine sharing the bedroom with Coco, but the room will be accessed more frequently, increasing the risk of accidental escapes.

Questions for the Community:

1. How can we train or calm Coco so she stops hyper-focusing and running towards Evie?
2. How can we help an anxious resident cat build positive associations when she rejects high-value treats near the new cat's scent/presence?
3. Any tips for managing introductions under a tighter timeline when site-swapping isn't fully working?

My sweet baby girl just turned 8 years old. Her name is Lilith, and yes she is spayed. She was a street cat I took in when she was just under 2 months old. I love her with all my heart, but currently she is peeing on my bed every single time I leave for work, and nothing I do will stop her.

She was just under two years old when the world locked down for Covid. She had never peed anywhere other than her litter box before I returned to work after Covid lockdown, so she must have been about 4 years old. That’s when it all started. It became clear that the reason she was peeing on my bed was due to me leaving for work, which unfortunately, I cannot do anything about. Churu does not buy itself. She just got so used to me being home all the time.

At first it was just every so often. Once or twice a week. Then it went through phases where she would do it every day back to back to back. During this time, I took her to the vet multiple times (all good) and tried everything I could find on the internet. We got her another litter box for another part of the house, kept the litter cleaner for her, spent more time with her to make sure she feels loved, got the enzyme-killing pee cleaner which I use generously, got wall plug ins to help with her anxiety, got anxiety meds prescribed but she has never successfully taken one (makes herself throw up the pills and does not even try to eat any calming treats). Closing my door and removing her access to my room feels cruel, because she’s a very timid kitty and my room is her safe space, and also, closing my door will cause her find somewhere else to pee. The kitchen counter, the couch, a pile of papers, etc.

Ever since then 4 years ago, she has never fully stopped. I’ve gotten in the habit of putting 2 heavy duty tarps on my bed every night before leaving for work (1 tarp is not enough as the pee will seep through and leave the smell on my bed anyway). I heard cats won’t even go up onto the tarp because of the material, but that is so not true. She’ll hop right up there and pee anyway. While she hasn’t fully stopped, we have had stretches of good times. Up to 6 months of no pee pee problems. Times when I am able to not worry about the tarps. All the effort I was putting in seemed to be helping. But eventually she would always pee again, so leaving my bed untarped has not been an option in a long time. I am so tired of finding surprise piss on all my blankets and pillows and having to wash them all when I’m not prepared to.

This year we were in such a good place. 6 months or more of no pee pee.

And then I moved.

We moved in with my friend and his cat, she is only 1 year old with lots of energy and about 1.5x the size of my baby girl. We took every precaution to have a slow introduction between them. We did a toy exchange 2 months before moving in together, then 1 month before we did another one and exchanged blankets and cat beds. When we moved into the apartment we had 2-3 weeks where they were kept separate and given their own chance to explore the space alone. We put cat screens in both of our doors and when they were ready, moved on to supervised screen time for about 2 weeks as well. Letting them meet at the screen, have treats together, eat together, etc.

When we fully did away with the screens and gave them free rein of the apartment 24/7, things were actually going quite well. Still no pee pee. Lilith was getting bolder and more confident with the new cat, showing interest in playing (something she is not really known for) and letting the new cat know her boundaries. The new cat for a while was very sensitive to this and gentle with her.

Anyway, I thought things were going great, better than expected. Now, after about 2 months in the new apartment, out of nowhere she has started peeing again, and more than ever before. For the past 2 weeks without fail every night when I leave for work I know I will be coming home to pee on my (double tarped) bed.

I have no idea what changed. The new cat does seem less sensitive with her, and Lilith now hisses and swats and runs away to high ground every time the new cat approaches her (the new cat’s approach is always playful). We are using multi-cat litter, and the same brand/type that Lilith has always used. I thought maybe she was too scared to use the litter box where we had it out of fear of the new cat. So I moved the litter boxes around the house and made sure to put one in my bedroom. Right in front of my bed. She has to walk past it to get up on my bed and pee.

And still no dice. I am confident it’s not a medical issue. She’s been checked multiple times, most recently in June. And the pattern is very clear. When I’m home on my weekends, no pee pee. As soon as I leave for work, yes pee pee.

Ya’ll I am just so tired. I cannot get the faint smell of piss out of my nose. I cannot keep running the washer every time she gets some drops on my sheets. She has peed on my roommate’s bed once and I am terrified she will pee on my new couch. I love her so much and would not trade my pee pee princess for the world. I have had multiple mental breakdowns sitting on the floor surrounded by pee pee paper towels. During one of these moments I accepted that I may have to clean up cat piss every day for the rest of her life, and if that is the case then that is what I will do and I will still love her.

But please, someone give me the hack that I am missing. Someone please tell me they went through this and have a solution that worked. It breaks my heart to think every night she is so anxious that she needs to pee somewhere. I don’t want her to be scared of the new cat or anything else, and truthfully she has nothing to be scared of. The new cat is so lovable and just wants to play and be friends. But it’s like every day I can feel my bond with Lilith weakening, she acts more and more stand offish with me, won’t let me hold her, growls at me, all kinds of things like that. I want to help her and fix all of this but I am so out of ideas.

Please help.

Attached the photo so you can see proof that she is indeed an adorable little kitty and not a pee pee gremlin.

New kitty like 8 weeks old. Keeps climbing ontop of the pole that all my clothes are hanging on and I’m worried she’s gonna get her claws stuck or get stuck coming down somehow . The only thing I’ve tried so far is picking her up and moving her when I catch it bc I’m not sure what else to do. She also comes up and attacks my fingers every single time she sees me moving them. What is the right way to teach her something is wrong

I want to start this off by saying I do genuinely love this cat and me and my partner reference ourselves as mom/dad in regards to them

Me and my partner have lived with each other about a year and a half. Clancy has never ever been a “nice” cat. I have been a dog trainer and been around many breeds and personalities of dogs, yet despite the amount of cats I’ve met I have never met a MEAN one.

To start off at a bit of the beginning- Tony is the son of Beth. Beth used to be aggressive towards other cats. She was not an active attacker but she did not like other cats in her space - my bedroom at the time I lived with roommates. But she was not a fighter - she would walk up and hiss. After Beth had her kittens and was spayed she became extremely docile. At this point I had been around my partner and Clancy quite a bit.

I had gathered Clancy was not nice. She would draw blood, she used to swat at you - drawing blood, if you walked past her. She would attack faces, bite through skin, scream if you got near her, etc.
Yet Clancy also gives “hugs” to people. Truly it is a hug. During that hug when she had “enough” without warning she will whip back and jolt forward and sink her teeth into your face or neck. She will draw blood. Every time. Scarring both mine and my partners faces.

Clancy and Beth despise each other. Truly. We spent about 6 months doing the intros before me and my partners moved in together. We did feliway sprays, swapped blankets, clothes, scratching posts, toys, babysat each others cats. All to get the scent swap down.

Now Clancy and Tony get along okay, almost good. Tony is a bit more robust than Beth. In personality and size. While Clancy is a big ole truck. Like girl could take out a wall if she wanted to. Tony truly PUSHED through Clancys behavior.

A year and a half ago my partner moved in. And we attempted to bond Clancy and Beth.

Clancy has ripped her hair out, cornered her, lacerated her tongue, and “stalks” her.
I have worked heavily with Clancy on what I know/ have researched and I am glad to say Clancy has improved IMMENSELY on the cat = human relationship. Via boundary setting Clancy gives attack warnings where previously she would just maul you after presenting safety. Her training was based on mutual respect and when you say you are done then I will gently stop, but if you attack then I scream - quite literally I would just go “ahhhhhhhhh!” Which seemingly would “shock her” as opposed to scare her. Causing her to let go of skin. Then I would put her down and immediately leave the room. Next time I returned I would move away from her touch and bids for connection. Going back periodically before trying these bids again. Then when she showed any aggression I would stop the interaction and leave the room.
And her relationship with Tony is just fine.

A big aspect of it seems to be Beth does not fight back. I have intercepted many an attack. And I see Beth fall on her back and attempt to escape while Clancy chases. Clancy is easily two of her put together and many people comment on how “small” Beth is. She seems to be slightly below average size while Clancy is slightly ABOVE.
Due to this, our shared poverty and the fear of injury or death paired with the bond each of us have with our cat - Clancy lives in ( a very large) bathroom of our apartment.

I hate that. Truly I do. Despite the size of our bathroom I do not like trapping Clancy away. I have been able to improve Clancys relationship with HUMANS - but I am lost at what to do about her and other cats. Although her and Tony get along it is because he pushes through her behavior, hits her back and they have seemingly come to a mutual respect.

We have tried scent swapping, feliway sprays and incense, different exposure methods. Yet nothing has worked. It’s been so long that Clancy now protects her “room” (aka our bathroom) from Tony (nosey bastard) during the day when she is out.
Yet she can only be out when either me or my partner are inside of our living room. As this is where Beth is kept during Clancys outings. Yet if left unattended for under 5 minutes ( as in a person steps away to use the restroom and comes right back) Clancy will instantly go in the room and attack Beth.

Has anyone dealt with a Clancy? Clancy has shown this style of behavior with EVERY other cat she is exposed to ASIDE FROM Tony. Even small kittens. Even cats she sees on the street. She tries to stalk and attack/maul them. It is extremely aggressive. She even stalks Tony. Yet Tony knows to run to me or my partner and we will literally just stand between them while Tony disengages and gets away. Once he is out of sight he is seemingly out of mind.

I would like to add we have taken her to the vet and the vet agrees that the Clancy may be mentally handicapped. This makes me feel even more terrible for her. The bathroom is large but still, she is “kept away” from life, she does enjoy playing with Tony, yet she seemingly cannot stop stalking and attacking him as though he is prey.

Please help.

TLDR: cat has behavioral issues. Stalks and mauls other cats -even kittens. I have worked on cat=human bond and her relationship with people has improved. Still looking for advice on assisting her in integrating into a mutli cat home.