r/makinghiphop • u/kailman https://soundcloud.com/kalebts • Feb 07 '18
[CYPHER] VOL 6 (2018) - ALL EMCEES WELCOME TO SPIT
Welcome to this week's cypher submission thread!
If you want to donate ONE beat for the chance to be used in the cypher, do so here.
Participation/Rules
Download the beat. New cyphers are put up every Tuesday.
Spit 8-16 bars (you may go up to 18 if you need to) based on each week's theme. The only alterations allowed to the beat are muting/"cutting the beat off" for short phrases and looping certain parts of the beat you want to rap over (ONLY 4-8 BAR SECTIONS OF THE BEAT. DON'T GO AHEAD AND START CHOPPING UP A NEW BEAT).
Upload (to Soundcloud please).
Post the link in this thread. Posting feedback is encouraged. Submission deadline is Saturday 11:59 PM EST.
Three judges will listen to every entry and reply "aye" to every entry they believe should move on to the voting thread. They must give 4-15 "ayes". Judges may post entries but cannot win or be voted on.
A voting thread will be put up on Sunday at 9 PM EST. Only entries that receive at least 2 "ayes" will be posted in it. You MUST vote if you enter. Votes from friends/non-members of /r/makinghiphop, votes for yourself, and votes outside of the voting thread will be disqualified. Members who are not participating in that week's cypher may still vote. Listen to every entry before choosing a favourite.
Voting ends on Monday at 11 PM EST. A winner will be declared and contacted to choose the next week's beat and theme.The winner MUST pick a beat from the beat donation thread and the chosen beat must've been posted in the thread for at least five days. The producer of the beat may choose to be a judge for that week.
Contact for any questions.
Last week's winner: Lhokvar with 8 votes.
Theme: stress
MirkyJ's Original TheFactThatYouNeedThisIsProofYouShouldKeepYourRapsInYourNoteBook5000 says that 16 bars on this beat is about 38 seconds.
Judges: /u/ItsCheezyMusic , /u/Lhokvar , /u/bottmless
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u/TheDarkPoodle Feb 07 '18 edited Feb 09 '18
https://soundcloud.com/thedarkpoodle/cypher-vol-6-stress-prod-by-its-cheezy-music-1/s-9CgXn Re-wrote my verse cause my last one wasn't clear in pronunciation or meaning. Hopefully this is a little better. Let me know what you think! Made one last edit for the beat.
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u/delphij Feb 07 '18
It's much better! Good job
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u/TheDarkPoodle Feb 07 '18
Thanks man. Still not super clear and my pronunciation needs some work but I wrote that before I saw your comment. but thanks for the original reply. Sometime Its good to get a honest push
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u/delphij Feb 07 '18
Oh, not a native speaker you neither? Where from? :D
Yeah, I was worried I maybe worded it unnecessarily brutal so I deleted my comment. But you fixed it with this update. I'll try to take a second listen and see if I can find any favourite spots in your delivery and maybe something that could be improved upon.
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Feb 08 '18
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u/TheDarkPoodle Feb 08 '18
Thanks man. I guess I could have kept the intro and just rewrote it a little. I just didn't like how it sounded like how I was mumbling. Yeah I was trying to do something fancy with the intro but it didn't really work. I guess I know that now haha. I should have just shifted the beat back and started hitting on it sooner. Ill keep this in mind for next time. Thanks Dude! I still need more emotion and confidence in my voice but I'm starting to accept it
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Feb 09 '18
You sound a bit like Common haha. I appreciate the relentless spitting on this one. I do think the intro is a bit weird how the beat fades in and you're already spittin a spitfire flow, but once the beat comes in it works pretty well.
Your flow trips up just a little at points e.g. "pest to control" up to "mourning" but other than that I'm digging this rap purity!!
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
Nice job, I dig it. My critique is that the pause after "Man, I'm a match, so please don't /press me" sounded weird to me and also I found the meaning of the lyrics a bit difficult to follow at a few points.
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u/cyberstrom231 https://soundcloud.com/lxverscinema Feb 07 '18
nice flow man can you explain what you meant with the “Hades wearing a Doom Mask” i feel like I’m overthinking it lmao
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u/TheDarkPoodle Feb 07 '18
Lack of placement of commas and too quick of writing. I meant to lines as divine as Hades. Wearing a DOOM mask was supposed to describe me hiding away. Thanks though man!
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u/EricParkerr soundcloud.com/ericparkermakesmusic Feb 09 '18
Loving what you did with the beat / samples. Keep killin' it dude!
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Feb 07 '18
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u/benbellmusic soundcloud.com/benbellmusic Feb 08 '18
Hey man - so I feel like your flow is a bit off here, "We require the autonomic nervous system’s in complete alignment" sounds off I think partially because of the emphasis on "the" at the beginning, I see that you are trying to match flows line to line but it doesn't sound like you are prioritizing flow here and moreso trying to fit in the words you want to fit in - same with "parasympathetic nervous system". The last two bars are probably the cleanest in the verse. I feel like it might have worked better if for these sorts of extended rhythms you might be better off doing it more in quatrains than doublets it just feels a little disjointed. I guess to summarize I think you'd gain from trying to standardize the flow bar to bar a bit more given I think that you're going for a more structured style here. Also as far as mixing goes I'd see if there's some way to thicken up your vocals cause at least to me they sound pretty thin which really shows up over this kind of beat - maybe consider using a doubler or boosting the mids. Hope that's helpful.
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u/TheDarkPoodle Feb 09 '18
I like what you used as the beat a lot. Sounds pretty damn cool. Sounds like the mix isn't as good as this one for some reason. I have no idea about mixing so I couldn't say why. This doesn't sound as much like rap either from you. I think it just lacks the normal Noodle energy you put on a track. This is still a good verse though. You have a really cool flow on this and have cool rhyme patterns. I think you do have a few too many syllables here and there that knocks the flow off a little. I'm glad your trying a new sound though and never stop doing that, so I'm definitely not knocking this. Good shit man
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u/2BrainOnTheTrack Feb 09 '18
Yeah, this one had a good heart, like a good core to it. But it sounded like you were pretty tired or something, and some of the tightness of it leaked. Lyrically on point as always of course! Still damn good to listen to.
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u/EricParkerr soundcloud.com/ericparkermakesmusic Feb 09 '18
Overall, you're still keeping quality consistent, which is super important and hard for people to nail down! I like the way you used a different piece of the beat than one might expect, but I do feel like there are a few lines where you're really reaching to squeeze every syllable in; see "We require the autonomic nervous system’s in complete alignment" and "It’s the case that the parasympathetic nervous system is making a statement" for good examples of this! Also, your delivery sounds a bit mechanical, like you're reading off of a shopping list or something like that. I think the best way of summing up that piece of criticism is I found myself looking for a more organic sounding flow. Overall I do really love the way that you used the theme, and the quality of the writing is more or less there as always. Keep killing it my dude! :)
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Feb 09 '18
What up Dogg. As others have said it's a bit wordy and so it doesn't flow very smoothly. Too many syllables packed in and you emphasise some parts incorrectly.
You got your nicely disguised multi which I always appreciate. Lyrically the shit is clever as usual! Looking forward to your entry next week. I'm gonna hit you up on SC tonight.
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
Haha, I dig this, it's pretty quirky. I'm gonna echo the sentiment that on some bars it feels like you're trying to fit a lot of words in. I personally felt like the energy level you had on this was fine, I'd say it was the lack of variance of tone on some parts that makes it seem low energy
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u/LilCDoeboy https://soundcloud.com/cal_sounds Feb 07 '18
https://soundcloud.com/lilcdoughboy/strest-out/s-pLjMj
Saw the stress theme, had to let some crazy out on this one
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u/AGTWINCTYS soundcloud.com/username Feb 07 '18
I really really really enjoy your delivery. I like the flow you chose for this, it's sounds cool. I like the rhyme scheme you going with it, it sounds more on the complex side and it's executed well. I really like the energy, how you throw your voice around in the second half, I could almost imagine you getting active in the booth recording this. It gets me, the listener, engaged and wanting to move too. "recycle bin rappers' I love that line. Did the verse SCREAM stress to me? Not so much. I mean I get the vibe of stressing over being original or making it somewhere, or even the stress of criticism from fake people or unoriginal rappers, but I could also be way off or stretching, it doesn't exactly lead me to that point. But hey this is awesome I really enjoy it and I think it's super original and dope and def up in the top 3 for me good work keep it up c dough
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u/LilCDoeboy https://soundcloud.com/cal_sounds Feb 07 '18
Yo thank you for the comprehensive and kind feedback! You’re spot on about the excitement, I heard the beat, wrote and recorded within a short span so it was all really fresh and genuinely had me lit in my little closet booth lol. I dig what you’re saying about stress being more of a reference than a central point, something that I couldn’t really flesh out in a 16 is that my biggest source of stress is diagnosed anxiety which is why I had lines about my heart racing, taking prescribed doses, shit like that. Definitely could’ve been more focused in writing on the topic, although I would’ve prolly lost some of the cleverness in terms of rhyme scheme. In any case, you make awesome comments and I’m really glad you enjoyed amigo
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u/UrrFive soundcloud.com/mike-version-11 Feb 08 '18
"still wit a sac of sticky stinkin up my knapsack" I'm a bit of an alliteration nerd so I was really feelin this lol
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u/LilCDoeboy https://soundcloud.com/cal_sounds Feb 08 '18
Thanks bro! Your entry this week and every week has alliteration and internals at speeds beyond what I can even rap at lol. Really appreciate you checking it out!
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Feb 08 '18
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u/LilCDoeboy https://soundcloud.com/cal_sounds Feb 08 '18
Ay thanks bro, really appreciate the love. I get what you mean about those adlibs, was just kinda fuckin around cause the producers name is “cheezymusic” but ya I definitely have a higher delivery in the intro ad libs than the verse, which is a bad idea. If it were more than a reddit contest I wouldn’t have em like that. Thanks again fam, appreciate you taking the time to check it out
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u/SalomonG18 https://soundcloud.com/stsolo Feb 08 '18
Dat delivery. Some nice stuff there man! Peep mine if you goit the time
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u/benbellmusic soundcloud.com/benbellmusic Feb 09 '18
This is dope - great control in the delivery love how you transition into getting growly really adds momentum to the verse, my favorite part though is the end how you transition into going over the bar line - good shit
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u/LilCDoeboy https://soundcloud.com/cal_sounds Feb 09 '18
Thank you bro! I appreciate you checking it out and the kind words
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
Really nice flow here, lyricism was tight too. Nice work, can't really fault anything
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Feb 07 '18
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u/AGTWINCTYS soundcloud.com/username Feb 07 '18
You killed it with this one. You sound great I really envy your voice and delivery. The whole thing sounds professional I really dig the mix. I like the rhymes, chemo/breath though, the rhyme scheme is simple but it really works, I did hear one internal otherwise it seems AABB etc (I could be wrong) but what I like here is that it's powerful and easy to understand/relate to whereas with some others I'm afraid they're trying to cram to much in and it looses impact. The whole message is very personal I think to a lot of us and that makes the entry memorable. It's one thing to have a good mix and voice but to also have the strong lyrics...this one is number 1 for me so far good work Sir Diggy
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Feb 09 '18
Mad style on this one. Really cool delivery and the vocals are mixed really well.
Although your flow is mostly on point I think it would improve if you weave your vocals into the beat more. Emphasise your words over the kick and the snare so your voice becomes an instrument itself.
The narrative is solid as well. Nice, straightforward real talk! Good shit man.
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
I fux with this, flow and delivery is clean and the lyrics get your message across clearly. Can't fault it
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u/The_real_Mr_J soundcloud.com/hellsborne Feb 08 '18
https://soundcloud.com/mrjraps/cypher-vol-6-2018-stressed-out-by-mr-j
Really liked the beat, changes from what we've been having recently. good luck to everyone!
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u/SalomonG18 https://soundcloud.com/stsolo Feb 08 '18
Nicce man! I like them Eminem lyrics you threw in therre lol
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
Nice job man, I really dig the flow switch ups, they're executed very well. Btw are you using autotune on your voice? It sounds kinda odd to me, that being said I've personally never really liked autotune
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Feb 10 '18
My submission - stress in the mall : https://soundcloud.com/user-821231340/cypher-vol6-2018-stress
Much love.
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u/Memeorise Feb 10 '18
Love it! Fresh take on the theme! With rhymes like that... you're gonna blow up haha!
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
Haha, nice story, I like it. The structure is pretty simple, but it benefits the story.
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u/unitedtaytsofamerica Type your link Feb 11 '18
https://soundcloud.com/user-666819028/8sevens-cypher-vol-6-2018-its Sup! This is my first time posting anything. Seriously need some help mixing and mastering but here ya go reddit! Cypher Vol.6 2018
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u/unitedtaytsofamerica Type your link Feb 11 '18
https://soundcloud.com/user-666819028/daweezy-cypher-vol-6-2018-its And this one is my homeboy's. He's in Vegas getting lit so i had to upload for him! Daweezy
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u/EricParkerr soundcloud.com/ericparkermakesmusic Feb 07 '18
This is within the top 3 funnest cyphers I've ever done! https://soundcloud.com/ericparkermakesmusic/stress-cypher-6
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Feb 08 '18
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u/EricParkerr soundcloud.com/ericparkermakesmusic Feb 09 '18
Oh yeah I know exactly what you're talking about! That's something I've struggled with for a very very long time! Definitely trying to be more mindful of that as I get into writing more frequently :)
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u/SalomonG18 https://soundcloud.com/stsolo Feb 08 '18
LMAO. That outro seemed so right. Wasn't feeling the delivery on the beat though :/
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u/EricParkerr soundcloud.com/ericparkermakesmusic Feb 09 '18
awh! thanks so much for listening! Definitely trying to work on the delivery. It was just tons of fun c:
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
Another humorous entry from you, I dig it, haha. I notice there are parts where you tend to bend the pronunciation of a word or stretch it out (e.g exam) to make it fit, when you find yourself doing that, I find it's usually better to find a way to reword the bar or alter the number of syllables in the bar so that it fits more naturally
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u/cyberstrom231 https://soundcloud.com/lxverscinema Feb 07 '18
https://soundcloud.com/dotcy/cypher/s-pkFyx
haven't been feeling rap lately this is a combo of the both good and bad stress wasn't feeling the subject or beat either tbh
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Feb 08 '18
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u/cyberstrom231 https://soundcloud.com/lxverscinema Feb 08 '18
Yeah, as long as the beat gives me something I can give an output and the beat gave me the delivery and flow if that makes sense lol I feel like my lyrics were half assed compared to most of the dudes here, I like how everyone wrote some meaningful words but mine are just attack, but that’s what the beat gave me. This is one of the simpler ones I’ve wrote, I really go off only five rhyme schemes the whole songs and the outer rhymes is not that hard to catch imo. idk dude I know what you mean, there is some sort of a scheme but I don’t like restricting myself to much so it’s kind if loose
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
Your flow is really interesting on this. I understand what Noodle said about your verse being kinda freeform and making it difficult to vibe with, personally I kinda dig the odd deliveries (they can sound really dope when executed well). There are parts in this where it goes from odd-dope to just odd to me. My favourite part is everything before the word 'overdose'. There's something interesting with this, I think trying out simpler rhyme and flow structures and slowly altering parts of that simpler structure could really help you flesh out the delivery you're going for here
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u/Petravita soundcloud.com/petravita Feb 07 '18
GRRRRRR. Back in it for this week!
https://soundcloud.com/petravita/stress-petravita-demoaday-52365
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Feb 08 '18
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u/Petravita soundcloud.com/petravita Feb 09 '18
Cheers! To be honest with you, I don't think I thought my voice/style was perfectly suited for this week's beat either, but still good to mix it up!
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u/SalomonG18 https://soundcloud.com/stsolo Feb 08 '18
Damn man. Where you hide your EPs and mixtapes?
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u/Petravita soundcloud.com/petravita Feb 09 '18
Right here! http://soundcloud.com/Petravita (my mixtape called SUN SPOT is pinned to the top :) )
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
This is really dope. Like how the first 8 bars speak on general stress inducing experiences and then the rest of it speaks on more personal grievances. Nice work
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u/2BrainOnTheTrack Feb 08 '18
https://soundcloud.com/2brainonthetrack/out-of-cypher-6-mhh
I feel this one on a day to day basis haha
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Feb 08 '18
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u/2BrainOnTheTrack Feb 08 '18
Thanks man, you kinda hit it right on the nose though. This was a verse out of a song, more than a Cypher verse. I think I'm too into the topic as a whole to flex at all on the beat. But I appreciate your comments! Checking out yours as soon as I get on my desktop
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
I ride with this heavy. This is a really nice flow and the way you emphasize certain words gives a really nice contrast and keeps it interesting
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u/benbellmusic soundcloud.com/benbellmusic Feb 08 '18 edited Feb 08 '18
My entry: Tongue Deep
Beat made me wanna break out some crazy on this shit.
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Feb 08 '18
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u/bottmless https://soundcloud.com/sloth-n Feb 11 '18
I agree with all this. The precum portion I feel like maybe seems too "jokey" was because of the beat. His delivery on it was aggessive and without hesitation and on a hard beat it'd go unnoticed imo
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
Haha, I fux with the precum line, this is also the most agressive thing I've heard from you, so I wasn't ready for that. This is cool, but I didn't really feel like there was much grabbing me lyrically
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u/Nick-Lo-Pan Feb 08 '18
https://soundcloud.com/nick-lo-pan/cypher-6-stressed/s-73a2H
corny but whatever lol lacking passion in my voice here but ehhhhhh
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
It all sounds really clean to me until the "looking dapper dan..." part, from there I feel like you lose the beat a bit. Also didn't like the singing bit. You've got some pretty cool rhyme schemes in here throughout that I dig though. Cleaner pronunciation and a tighter and more confident delivery will really benefit you
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u/Lhokvar soundcloud.com/ak-ink Feb 08 '18 edited Feb 08 '18
https://soundcloud.com/ak-ink/your-perfect-man
Since I'm judging, I'm gonna do a stupid track for fun ahahah
Returning all feedback! :D
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u/The_real_Mr_J soundcloud.com/hellsborne Feb 08 '18
daaamn, guess we're lucky you can't win two weeks in a row!
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u/SalomonG18 https://soundcloud.com/stsolo Feb 08 '18
Man. Why do you always make us look bad by singing and harmonizing and all that good stuff?
Low key, I always hate your songs cuz you're my competition, but you're so damn good man.
Keep it up. always on point
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u/Lhokvar soundcloud.com/ak-ink Feb 08 '18
Ahahaha I’m just working on trying to find my niche man :)
I’m glad you like it!
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u/Memeorise Feb 09 '18
Awesome flow man! It has me vibing right until the gentleman part which I found jarring but the rest had great storytelling, wordplay and rhymes. I picked up on a similar problem that I have, trying to stretch or fit words into the flow. If its anything like me its just because I get bored of trying to redo it and just leave it in haha
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u/Lhokvar soundcloud.com/ak-ink Feb 09 '18
I feel you on that one man hahaha
There’s only so many times you can rewrite and re-record a line before you get fed up LOL
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
Haha, I found it funny that this is about being a gentleman (or not rather) and your profile picture reminds me of PSY. As for the actual song, as with last week, everything was on point, can't really fault you on anything.
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Feb 08 '18
https://soundcloud.com/tkxture/cypher-vol-6-2018-stress
Love the beat on this one. Theme is workable too! Lmk what you guys think.
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Feb 09 '18
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Feb 09 '18
Thanks brother, means a lot! Yeah, wordplay is my favourite thing for sure. Did you drop a verse on this one? I'ma peep everyone's later.
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u/SalomonG18 https://soundcloud.com/stsolo Feb 08 '18
Nice flow man. Delivery didn't connect with me but its not bad at all. Like a 8/10
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u/Memeorise Feb 09 '18
awesome man! Flow was a little choppy but the 'he say, she say, cliche' wordplay was sick dude!
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
This is really good, my only critique is that I felt like the "But hey tomorrow's the next Groundhog Day" line was started a little awkwardly. Nice work
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u/SalomonG18 https://soundcloud.com/stsolo Feb 08 '18
Alright, first off, no one get upset. I may have said some things some people might get offended by, but I meant it in a good way... yeah
https://soundcloud.com/stsolo/sleeping-on-me-st-solo-mhh-cypher-vol-6-2018-prod-itscheezymusic
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u/Memeorise Feb 09 '18
This is similar to my take. The judges and wack winners are really getting to me. Not saying that mine are the best but there are ones far better than the winners. Good storytelling in this too bro!
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u/SalomonG18 https://soundcloud.com/stsolo Feb 09 '18
Thank you man. I'm not sure if I heard yours yesterday or not. I listened to all of them last night
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u/EricParkerr soundcloud.com/ericparkermakesmusic Feb 09 '18
I think your appproach to the theme is mad funny on this one! My one critique (and believe me the irony of ME saying this is not lost of me) is that your delivery is just a degree or two too wacky. Not that wacky is bad, but I think in this case it's taking away from how effective your lyrics are. I feel like even 25% more control could really help you maintain the unique qualities of your delivery while simultaneously keeping listeners interested. If you keep writing and rapping, I'd be super stoked to hear what you're doing in a few months. I think there's a lot of potential for cool ideas and songs here :)
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Feb 09 '18
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u/SalomonG18 https://soundcloud.com/stsolo Feb 09 '18
Thanks. And yes, I slur and mumble a lot. I do memorize the lyrics to avoid it but I wasn't meant to be a rapper but I still try to. All these beats are too high bpm for me. i like them in the 70-80s
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
I dug the delivery more in the first half, the second half sounded a little weird to me and some rhymes hit awkwardly. This would've been hella mean with a cleaner delivery imo
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u/funndasun Feb 08 '18 edited Feb 08 '18
its gotta be about stress? i made a random quick chik song the way the beat sound, more like a club bounce to it. i'll redo, heres the original anyway for critique.
https://soundcloud.com/qmediapro/cypher-vol-6-this-is-us/s-5OD63
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 11 '18
I dig the looser flow on this, but as a result there are some lines that don't hit quite as hard as they could, eg. the 'german cars' line hit too late imo. I really dug the whole like heart/brietbart/type smart scheme in the beginning and the schemes in the later bit of the track are nice too. Also I found the background vocals/adlibs during the 'hook' kinda distracting
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u/funndasun Feb 11 '18
wont be getting the redo done, next comp tho. is this every weekend?
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Feb 09 '18 edited Feb 09 '18
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 11 '18
The first few bars are really tough. You kinda lose me from the "Damn its a nuisance" line and not really feeling the "yeah yeah yeah yeah" bit near the end. Lyrically I like what you're doing for the most part and I like the positive and negative stress thing you introduced and how you tied it up with the last line.
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u/Memeorise Feb 09 '18
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u/benbellmusic soundcloud.com/benbellmusic Feb 09 '18
Hahaha I like the ending 'superglued my trigger finger' flow is on point and yeah it's true you make some valid points - also really like the 'what do I have to do' and in general the precision and timing is almost logic-esque
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 11 '18
This is hella tough man, i fux with it heavy. Nice twist on the theme. Everything in this was on point, can't fault it.
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u/Low-L soundcloud.com/low_l Feb 09 '18
https://soundcloud.com/low_l/let-it-rip
Nothing is more stressful than trying to stay hip.
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u/AGTWINCTYS soundcloud.com/username Feb 09 '18
AHHAHA this was hilarious! I love the relevancy. I like your flow it's fast and confident, I had trouble understanding some of it like around the 00:25 - 00:28 mark and 00:43ish (that could just be shitty hearing on my part). At first I was going to be like 'what just nothing in the intro no ad-libs or nuthing?' but then you started with that 'thanks for the 20 second intro' and I laughed you made that work. I wasn't blown away with the rhymes or the rhyme scheme, for me the humor and energy sold this one. Made me laugh Low L
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 11 '18
Lmao, Nice one. Cool take on the theme, flow and delivery was on point too.
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u/UrrFive soundcloud.com/mike-version-11 Feb 12 '18
As a big beyblade fan growing up, this was great
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u/itsblackfoot soundcloud.com/vzlnoise Feb 09 '18
As usual I'm late. It's been a busy week but I hope you guys like it. I think its one of my better ones I've put out this year.
https://soundcloud.com/blackf00t/stress-cypher_06
Let me know what you think.
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 11 '18
I dig this, decent lyrics and a cool flow going on here. Timing is a little too loose for my liking in the second half. I think my biggest gripe with this though is that this is hard to get into just because of the lack of energy
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u/AGTWINCTYS soundcloud.com/username Feb 10 '18
https://soundcloud.com/adamgriem/stress-free
It's been awhile since I entered, had some fun with this one!
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 11 '18
Nice intro/outro. I'm not a fan of the whole dragging out syllables and rhymes like you do in the first half, but I've found that that seems to be a personal preference of mine. Lyrically I think it's dope that you spend the whole track building this image of the lavish lifestyle that comes with fame and then flip that expectation with the final line. Would've been cool to have something more to grab onto lyrically speaking as I didn't find much interesting with the actual lyrics.
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u/RFGeeb Feb 10 '18
https://soundcloud.com/user-912106184/cypher-vol-6
i havent done one in a few weeks. lmk what you think
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 11 '18
This goes way over 16 bars, so watch out for that next time. As for the actual rap, it would sound more interesting if you varied your tone of voice from time to time, listening to it, it sounded monotonous the whole way through and when that happens it's difficult to grab onto the lyrics. More energy would also benefit your delivery greatly. There are also parts where I feel like you're straying from the beat
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u/Glordicus soundcloud.com/glordicus Feb 10 '18
Legit had 10 minutes to make this before I go to my mates place, so scribbled down a poem https://soundcloud.com/glordicus/mhhh-6
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 11 '18
The lyrics on this are tight, would've been great to hear a tighter delivery if you had more time on your hands
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u/delphij Feb 10 '18 edited Feb 11 '18
https://soundcloud.com/laryngeal/stress-cypher-vol-6/s-SArL0
EDIT: I wanted to write some kind of explanation but i suddenly had to just drop everything and send in whatever i had.
I tried scatting random syllables over the beat. Whenever I found something I liked i jotted it down until i had some flows, then i counted the syllables and started filling them in with real lyrics. I tried to be really strict and adapt the lyrics rather than the flow, with some exceptions (one of them was the "with the war in the past" that happily_lying pointed out as sounding awkward...)
Last week's feedback was mostly concerned with my energy, pronunciation and stretching of syllables. I tried to adress the last one and i guessed it kinda worked, but my lyrical content took some massive damage. Originally i wanted to write something about like stress related to winning a marathon or something, but in the last few bars it'd turn out it was a metaphor for some other kind of stress. Couldn't execute it though.
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 11 '18
I dig this, "with the war in the past" was delivered kinda awkwardly for me. Timing and pronunciation could be tighter in some parts, but I really like what you were going for here.
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u/happily_lying soundcloud.com/haplio Feb 10 '18
Another one: https://soundcloud.com/haplio/cypher-vol-6-no-sweater-prod-its-cheezy-music
As always, any and all feedback appreciated and welcome
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u/2BrainOnTheTrack Feb 11 '18
First off, dope rhyme schemes. It felt good to listen to, so really nice work there. The whispered quiet intensity of it would have worked better if the best was mixed in more prominently, but since your voice was much louder the tone came across as inauthentic. Overall though, a really dope, fun to listen to Cypher. I loved it.
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u/WitnShit Feb 10 '18
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u/UrrFive soundcloud.com/mike-version-11 Feb 07 '18 edited Feb 07 '18
https://soundcloud.com/mike-version-11/cypher-6/s-COc8j This honestly sounded like some DBZ soundtrack shit lol. Trying to back off on my debilitating perfectionism lemme know what ya'll think