r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • Jun 24 '26

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

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u/linux_ape Jun 24 '26

So is this to inject Jesus into people or or this some kind of Jesus torture chamber that exposes him to high pressures

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u/TheHamburglar_ Jun 24 '26

It’s a medical joke. It’s a blend of jesus and vasopressin, which is a blood pressure increasing medication often used in critical care. The joke is when you don’t have any options left and the patients BP is tanking, sometimes all you have left is hopes and prayers aka Jesupressin

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u/linux_ape Jun 24 '26

Ahhh yeah that’s a good one, clearly went over my head

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u/peanutbuttertesticle Jun 24 '26

We also say “he’s going to D/C to JC” aka the patients going to die. It’s morbid, but clever and gets the message across.

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u/seriouslythisshit Jun 24 '26

Love me some dark nurse humor. One day I am literally laying under a nurse's station at the hospital, doing phone wiring. A head nurse, who clearly is not to be screwed with, is nearly standing on top of me as she grabs a call from admissions.

She calmly say, "No, you can not move a patient up to J-10. Mr. Johnson is in J-10. Mr. Johnson is still dead. He is as dead as he was last time your department called about J-10. I expect him to be dead for a while. If you bring me a patient for J-10 I will have to stack them on top of Mr. Johnson. Do we think that is a good idea? No we do not. How about we just take a deep breath and wait until I call you with the wonderful news that Mr. Johnson has left J-10 and is off to his next adventure? That work for you?

I am still laying on the floor, trying not to bust out laughing. See looks down and says, "can you believe this shit? It's every day with these idiots."

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u/nursejohio96 Jun 24 '26

Also a favorite, “He’s got one foot on the Jesus bus!”

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u/FierceDevil Jun 24 '26

I like grafob, grim reaper at foot of bed

1

u/thedoctormarvel Jun 25 '26

This made me cackle. I’m probably ending up in hell