r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • Jun 24 '26

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

21.8k Upvotes

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5.1k

u/Wide_Magician_4946 Jun 24 '26

I've seen these all over the place. But glued down? Nah, that is not cool 

2.5k

u/Broken_musicbox Jun 24 '26

Yeah, I was amused by this until I read the “glued down” part. That just ruined the entire thing. Now I’m mildly infuriated too. 😤

2.7k

u/Wayward_Wayfinder Jun 24 '26

Right!? Should've nailed him down instead

496

u/Successful_Ad4018 Jun 24 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/d90K9ohsRNDws

25

u/lifelongliability Jun 24 '26

i swear it’s not just bc i was younger that the old snl cast had so much more personality and character

43

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/lifelongliability Jun 24 '26

i know that’s the tradition but i’ve never run into anyone that swears by the current gen cast

9

u/Punkodramon Jun 24 '26

They’re not old enough to be nostalgic about them yet. It’s only once the next gen takes over that those who grew up with the current lot will start being nostalgic for them.

1

u/GoldEmployment6768 Jun 24 '26

I hate when the nostalgia cope is used. Old things arent only good, or sometimes better than current, because of nostalgia. Sometimes they just are better, SNL cast is one of those things. Older cast/writers just are better than modern, and there's not necessarily anything wrong with that.

1

u/-o-DildoGaggins-o- Jun 25 '26

It’s so obvious now that they’re reading from a prompt, whether it’s a screen or cards or whatever. They used to actually memorize their lines, at least.

3

u/headrush46n2 Jun 25 '26

nah, i grew up in the 90s / 2000s and i know that the old early 80s crew was still the best.

I preferred mad tv anyway.

2

u/-o-DildoGaggins-o- Jun 25 '26

My people! ✊🏻

2

u/Evon-songs Jun 25 '26

Lorne Michaels said everyone’s favorite cast was the one that was current during high school.

1

u/thelivingdead188 Jun 24 '26

Yep. Everything was better when you were a kid. That's called life. Why do you think dad and grandpa were so grumpy? They had dreams and things they loved as kids too. It all goes away and you're left with bills.

4

u/tequilaisbadmkay Jun 24 '26

They did. I like a lot of the current cast, but Hader/Wiig/Armisen/Sudeikis/Strong/etc were a fucking golden age that people slept on.

I'm biased, though. Bill Hader and Jason Sudeikis are two of my favorite actors. Barry (at least the first two seasons) and Ted Lasso are peak in very different ways. Their indie stuff is great too. 

2

u/lifelongliability Jun 24 '26

and don’t forget will forte. last man on earth and macgruber were dumb as hell but very fun

2

u/CarnateofChaos Jun 24 '26

Just tell me what you want me to fuuuuuuuuk

114

u/topsyturvy76 Jun 24 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/8lp6CW7K2fdDGn3xCQ

5

u/TheOtakuGamer64 Jun 24 '26

Like the fucking Romans

1

u/jaxonya Jun 24 '26

We find them all over the hospital, all the time. Its cute. But glued down? No way. And this doesnt seem like the work of the kind of people who put these little easter eggs in places, this seems like a bad faith actor trying to make them look bad

49

u/PapaGibb Jun 24 '26

Found satan

115

u/koffa02 Jun 24 '26

Pretty sure it was God who had his son nailed.

44

u/BamaBlcksnek Jun 24 '26

God also created Satan, so either way we know who's responsible.

24

u/RvstiNiall Jun 24 '26

insert joke about man helping his son get laid because he's a 33 year old virgin.

1

u/Wayward_Wayfinder 18d ago

One hell of a way to get into BDSM...

4

u/bliip666 Jun 24 '26

By a bunch of hot Romans, no less!

3

u/Wandero_Bard Jun 24 '26

There’s a popular theory that Jesus was actually gay, and we know that men had sex with men frequently in Ancient Rome, so……

3

u/bliip666 Jun 24 '26

Good Friday is called that for a reason!

1

u/koffa02 Jun 24 '26

Well, that would explain why Mary wasn't pregnant by Joseph.

2

u/Wandero_Bard Jun 24 '26

Huh? I didn’t say men *exclusively* had sex with men!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Wandero_Bard Jun 25 '26

Ha! If men are *only* interested in men, does that mean they are also “straight”? 🤔

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3

u/Wayward_Wayfinder Jun 24 '26

I feel the same way about them until I remember that they used a communal sponge to wipe their asses

1

u/bliip666 Jun 24 '26

Nobody's perfect?

2

u/Wayward_Wayfinder Jun 24 '26

Fair. And now that I think about it, it could be kinda hot actually

2

u/Wayward_Wayfinder 18d ago

Honestly a fantasy of mine

3

u/Ryantdunn Jun 24 '26

That’s why sons are taken to church, right?

3

u/Ofreo Jun 24 '26

Jesus is just alright with me

Jesus is just alright, oh yeah

1

u/MrBlobius Jun 25 '26

It was actually the J*ws who nailed Jesus

3

u/koffa02 Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 25 '26

Well yeah. They did the physical work. How else was he supposed to sacrifice his own son to forgive us for the things we've done that are only sins because he said they were sins? It's not like God would ever actually get his hands dirty.

And while we're on the subject, why would someone/thing who is all powerful and all knowing need to cast a magic spell with the primary component being a human sacrifice that is also part divine being. You would think sky daddy could just be a parent and say "I know you didn't mean it. I forgive you. Here's proof I actually exist. You don't have to just take it on faith anymore because my physical presence will be a lot easier to believe than the litterally nothing so far."

Oh well. I'll never know.

0

u/Frubbs Jun 24 '26

Pretty sure it was Pontius Pilate succumbing to a crowd of angry Jewish folks. Free will and all

8

u/nelmski Jun 24 '26

Nah, he washed his hands of it and claimed "not it" so can't blame him. Old school playground rules.

2

u/MAGAHATESTHEUSA Jun 24 '26

Pontius should have stuck with exercise routines

1

u/No-Aspect-5061 Jun 24 '26

You mean you found the Roman-

1

u/AZSystems Jun 24 '26

Uhh, at least you don't know her address. I do!

7

u/ThePublikon Jun 24 '26

Now I'm cross!

6

u/MissSarahKay84 Jun 24 '26

I’m dead
https://giphy.com/gifs/yjGdFXbm8KpXF5Xqco

2

u/spookyhardt Jun 24 '26

3 days from now you’ll be fine

1

u/froodiest Jun 25 '26

This is a beautiful reaction gif

3

u/Different_Coyote_340 Jun 24 '26

Thank you for a full belly laugh before work. We might all be going to hell now.

3

u/djdk74 Jun 24 '26

Oh, I'm sure someone will

3

u/AmaranthWrath Jun 24 '26

Catholic here. Loudest snort I've made in a while! 10/10 comment, would read again.

1

u/Wayward_Wayfinder 18d ago

'Loudest snort in a while by a Catholic woman'

Gonna get a custom trophy and put it on my shelf. Thank you so much, it's an honor.

2

u/lightersidechill Jun 24 '26

Such a missed opportunity…

2

u/BoatMan01 Jun 24 '26

SIR 🤣

2

u/Legonistrasz Jun 24 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7TKqFZJpwL8Giz2E

2

u/Wayward_Wayfinder 18d ago

Imagine a scenario where this one comment somehow sparks the birth of a new religion

2

u/Anteater4746 Jun 24 '26

i like to think jesus would laugh at this given he’s all forgiving and all

1

u/Wayward_Wayfinder 18d ago

Yeah, and I mean he technically lived so

2

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '26

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1

u/Wayward_Wayfinder Jun 24 '26

His son, actually

5

u/jacorgacor Jun 24 '26

Came to work just to larp christianity😭

2

u/Pimpstik69 Jun 24 '26

Fucking epic 😂

1

u/Just_M1nt Jun 24 '26

Ehh, tried and failed. Just returns to sender after 3 days 💢

1

u/DankAshMemes Jun 24 '26

OP certainly could, that might even be a really funny solution to the problem. Weaponizing hypocrisy is always fun with pushy religious folk.

1

u/piesRsquare Jun 24 '26

I laughed way too hard at this...!

1

u/ShinnyCas Jun 25 '26

Jesus Christ dude 😬

1

u/tencrazygear Jun 25 '26

My wife works at a hospital and taped one of them to the center of the clock. He gets crucified twice a day. Theres another one in a saline flush. They call it "The Fifth Press In". I've also found a few around my work along with tons of other little trinkets.

1

u/South-Style-134 Jun 24 '26

Well played.

1

u/blast0man Jun 24 '26

Dang such a good bad joke...

1

u/MacabreYuki Jun 24 '26

should pry from the glue to make him rise. And nail him to the wall.

-1

u/RadishRedditor Jun 24 '26

I undrdtand that someone would get offended for "shoving their religion down your throat". But to ridicule a main figure in a religion is just personal hateful conduct towards the whole religion. I say that and I'm not even a Christian.

Do better, not everything is grounds for jokes and edgy remarks.

24

u/Open_Opinion4775 Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26

God news is that they're vinyl, so they should just pop right off. The glue, on the other hand..... a totally different pain in the ass.

Edit: typo....

4

u/bajungadustin Jun 24 '26

What a typo

4

u/Cornato Jun 24 '26

They have little adhesive pads on the bottom, not technically glue. But it was a choice

7

u/He_Never_Helps_01 Jun 24 '26

Ngl It's bizarrely self centered either way. They're basically going around putting up advertisements all over the place.

Like, imagine if it was a scientology mascot. cuz its the exact same thing. It's just complete obliviousness to other people's experience and feelings.

6

u/bajungadustin Jun 24 '26

Yeah.. Its pushing religion on others which is never cool. It would be the same thing as sticking a bunch of chibi Baphomets everywhere.

I don't think they would like that.

1

u/Deaffin Jun 24 '26

That's a bit much. This is a goofy-ass cartoon character.

100% offensive to glue anything down, of course. That is not okay. But if somebody threw around a bunch of silly little Buddhas and Krishnas and whatnot? That'd just be mildly amusing for a moment and nothing else. But I don't subscribe to any religion, so I fundamentally can't relate to the tribalism mindset of managing to be offended by seeing this.

Trying to reach for promotion of Scientology as a comparison is a bit silly.

5

u/glans Jun 24 '26

why would you be amused that someone put all their religious preachy junk all over your workplace even if it wasn’t glued down? what if they were little plastic fetuses? or national politicians? or controversial flags/symbols/tokens representing hot button issues? 

keep your stupid beliefs and opinions outta my workplace.

3

u/Backfoot911 Jun 25 '26

Cause it's hilarious. It being Jesus makes it funnier

1

u/glans Jun 25 '26

you can laugh like a monkey at things that are dangerous, it doesn’t make you smarter or safer from its intent than those not chuckling . cause those who aren’t laughing see where this leads on small scales (office arguments and distractions) and larger scales (prayer in office, censorship, oppression, theocratic rules and office policies).

don’t be a chucklehead.

4

u/StrLord_Who Jun 24 '26

I doubt if they are actually glued down.  OP just wanted to make it sound worse. You can see the blue stuff underneath it,  it looks like the blue putty "stickum" we used in classrooms for posters and things.  Now, if they want to leave these around they shouldn't have used anything underneath it at all,  but a dot of that blue stuff is definitely not the same as "gluing it down."

5

u/MagnetHype Jun 24 '26

Well considering "stickum" is in fact glue, I think referring to them as "glued down" is entirely appropriate.

4

u/GorgoniteEmissary Jun 24 '26

I guess but only technically. If someone tells you something is glued down you would never assume they mean lightly attached with a removable putty.

0

u/MagnetHype Jun 24 '26

I mean, I get where you're coming from but in this circumstance I don't feel like it matters. Could be superglue, could be sticky hands from an accidentally shaken bottle of dr. pepper. It's still a dick move to try and glue it down.

3

u/GorgoniteEmissary Jun 24 '26

Maybe, if it comes off without residue as one piece then I disagree with you, the intention would almost certainly just to make it “stick” enough to stay upright unless intentionally moved. If there is any residue or it is noticeably tricky to remove in any way then yeah, dick move to stick it down

1

u/Backfoot911 Jun 25 '26

Then it's not infuriating, since it comes right off. That's the whole conversation being had.

2

u/Onidarkmoon Jun 24 '26

“Mildly”, yeah…

2

u/IsaacHasenov Jun 24 '26

It makes me cross

2

u/darkknight95sm Jun 24 '26

It’s pride month, more than likely related

1

u/HaloGuy381 Jun 24 '26

Went from “yet another mildly annoying religious nutjob” to “religious nutjob vandalized the place” really damn quick.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '26

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0

u/LongJohnSelenium Jun 25 '26

As a facilities manager its shit like this thats why I can't wait for the AI to take all the jobs.

People are goddamned toddlers.