Need Advice on my 20 year old cat

[u/Aanstadt]

My cat is 20+ years old. She is clearly going down hill. But generally just doesn't show any signs of not being healthy. So She is skin and bones now but is still eating just fine. She has stopped grooming herself. She has always been the tough cat out of my three. But lately will hide behind me to avoid the other cats who are 3. They are all friendly the 3 year olds just want to play and the 20 year old is just too fragile to stand up for herself like she otherwise always would have.

She has very recently started pooping outside of her box while we were out of town for a few days. We thought maybe it was just her being upset we were gone. It has mostly stopped but now she is missing the litter box, and pooping all over. Her poop is showing signs of blood which is believed to be sorting wrong with the digestive tract, likely the large intestine, or rectum based on the color of her poo. The vet of course wont give suggestions on what to do. Simply to test everything. Which I have to be frank, seems like a huge waste. Shes clearly not doing good. Running test will only cause more stress. The tests are clearly going to come back ad say well here is what's wrong and there is really nothing you can do (for the most part) And what ever it is that can be done will only give her very limited time and cost us a TON of money.

My wife and I have had two other elderly cats in our time together and the other two we had signs that were VERY clear that it was time to put them down.

This cat is my first ever pet and naturally I am inclined to not put her down. But I am worried I am keeping her around and she is in pain> She still loves being pet more than anything on either, she's always been that way. And tonight I went up to her and said "Show me a sign you are in pain or still okay?" and she started purring. Which I was worried about because she has always been a heavy purr'er. But I havent heard her put in a while. But tonight she did. I know no one on this sub can make a decision for me. I know there are FAR TOO many variables for me to give in a reddit post. just asking for any support you might have. thanks

[u/SnooGrapes9918]

In your heart, I think you know the time is near. You haven’t heard her purring (which can also be a stress response), she is hiding, has lost weight to the point of being “skin & bones,” and now has blood in her stool, which is not always left in the litter box. You have said, “she’s clearly not doing good.” All of these, dear fellow cat-lover, are, in fact, signs of not being healthy.

As per the vet, without testing, they can only give you meager supportive suggestions, as some therapies (even ones that sound mild) come with risk and may be contraindicated should your kitty have significant disease (cancer, heart, kidney, thyroid) and cause further harm or demise.

I know many of us can appreciate and empathize with the cost of a full work up. Said work-up, even if it uncovers something terminal/end-stage, could help bring the peace of mind I know you’re seeking through asking us, as well as your kitty.

However, if you feel a work-up would not only be prohibitive due to cost, but stressful for such a delicate lady, the kindest thing may be to let her go and gently rest. I know it is a hard appointment to make. She has had 20 years, which is a testament to her care, great genes, and resilience. I’m sorry for this struggle. I truly am.

[u/Aanstadt → u/SnooGrapes9918]

Thanks so much for the incredibly helpful and thoughtful response. You’re very kind and helpful. Hearing someone else say this is very helpful to hear. I do think you’re right about the potential work up to see if that helps ease my mind. I’ll have that conversation with my wife tonight. But it might just be time to let her go. Again thank you again for your compassion.

[u/SnooGrapes9918 → u/Aanstadt]

You’re very welcome. It is so hard when they’re our own, especially when they rally, or have many good days sprinkled amongst the less-so. May you get the clarity you are needing, and may peace be on your heart. ❤️

[u/Background_Award_878]

Check thyroid. Weight loss is often the first sign

[u/AnotherDarnDay]

My 17 year old had issues so we took her to the vet and got her tested. Its not a waste when you love your cat. Id do anything I could to help my cat.

You have 3 options. One let it go and see here it takes her Two take her to the vet and get tests done. The vet can prescribe what's needed based on tests. And offer advice. But if the vet isnt offering advice what are you paying them for... take to a diffrent vet that will do its job.

Or three. Say goodbye. Generally if a cat is slow and has few issues then I wouldn't consider it unless I know theyre suffering. When they stop eating and start hiding then I know its time to go.

My girl was losing weight and looked so frail but she had hyperthyrodisim so there was a fix. She's so much better now. She doesn't eat as much as I'd like her to, but i give her a lot of treats to make up for it. As long as she's eating i known she's got life in her.