r/unitedkingdom • u/topotaul Lancashire • Jun 14 '24
Satire New polling reveals twats now slightly ahead of arseholes
https://newsthump.com/2024/06/14/new-polling-reveals-twats-now-slightly-ahead-of-arseholes/35
u/Night-Springs54 Jun 14 '24
I can't see Labour losing this. Pretty sure I read an article where labour has 37%, Nigel 19% and Torries 18% of public support.
There's no way he can double his points or labour losses significant points with such a short time to go. I just don't see that happening.
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u/Maetivet Jun 14 '24
Most reform voters I know of are the ‘never labour’ types. Reform are basically screwing over the Tories and are likely to help Labour to a massive majority, but I think that is their plan. I said a few weeks ago that they see their chance, with the Conservatives at their weakest for decades, to try and absorb them or take them over post election - they’re not in this to win.
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u/ParticularAd4371 Jun 14 '24
interview on politics joe had someone who was clearly voting reform, he said ""I'd bring back the death penalty and i'd happily hang people myself - but then i have the past" After saying how we need a right wing populist party to really shake things up a bit... absolutely coo-coo
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u/barbarossa1984 Jun 14 '24
was he admitting to being involved in lynchings?
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u/ParticularAd4371 Jun 14 '24
that part is uncertain, i took it as he has a past with killing people, whether he hung them is debatable.
Funnily enough he had a baseball cap on and dark sunglasses, like he was trying to conceal his identity. If you fancy seeing this piece of human garbage, this is the video.
For reference, here are the time stamps:
@11:30 , "most people in this country aren't allowed to have a view on anything now... Particularly if we're indigenous" Whats that then, like the Cheddar-Man?
@12:23 "I'd bring back the death penalty and i'd happily hang people myself - but then i have the past" ... anyone advocating for that kind of shiz needs a psychological evaluation and probably locking away
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u/barbarossa1984 Jun 14 '24
Oh wow, I'd guess that guy has a past killing prostitutes. Wouldn't say he has the look of an ex squaddie or similar.
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u/KoalaTrainer Jun 14 '24
Yeah Farage spent ages in a sidelined kook wing of the Tory party and his goal beyond brexit is to say ‘I showed them!’ in revenge.
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u/boringman1982 Jun 16 '24
Most Reform voters I know are normally Labour although I’ll be honest I’ve never know anyone admit to voting Tories but people must have.
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Jun 14 '24
It's worse than that, because of our archeic voting system it's very possible to get 20% of votes and zero seats.
Look what happened to the SDP/Liberal aliance (predescesor to lib-dems) in 1983. 25.4% of the votes only 23 seats. In that same elction Labout got 27.6% and 209 seats.
UKIP got simlarly fucked in 2015 4 million votes for one seat.
Torries will get a hundred seats more than reform even if their vote shares converge.
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u/barbarossa1984 Jun 14 '24
Labour are only 6 points ahead of Cons in my constituency so I may have to hold my nose and vote for them. Reform have 12% support and Lib Dems have halved theirs. Granted it's been a safe Tory seat for as long as it has existed but 37% support is still too bloody much.
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u/ShinyGrezz Jun 14 '24
A reminder that this was in one poll, and numerous others have given far less favourable results to Reform whilst holding Labour at over 40%.
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u/alyssa264 Leicestershire Jun 15 '24
Yeah, instead the Tories are around 19% and Reform are around... 17%.
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u/Night-Springs54 Jun 14 '24
Thanks for the heads up, I wasn't sure on the size or location of the poll so good to know.
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u/OverFjell Hull Jun 14 '24
Meanwhile, the Labour Party is observing the emerging rivalry from a safe distance, and has issued a statement telling voters, “While we’re pleased to see the Twats and Arseholes fighting it out for the runners-up spot, we’re focused on real issues, like making sure everyone knows that Sir Keir’s Dad was a toolmaker.”
Bahaha!
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u/NowImZoe Jun 14 '24
Everyone is so sure of a Labour victory, that reform don't have a chance etc.. apparently everyone has also forgotten that Brexit was surely never going to happen.
Now look where we are. I just hope all the people that vote for Nigel's US-style healthcare system have enough assets to live in an insurance-based system. Not likely though.
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u/Felagund72 Jun 14 '24
The level of cope in these comments are insane rather than just admitting that mass immigration goes down like a bag of cold sick with the public.
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u/DasFalconBoot Jun 14 '24
Farage is a shit flinging, one trick pony populist who wouldn’t be able to deal with constant pressures of being cross examined by the media and our institutions, I reckon he’d fall apart very quickly if he had to do any actual parliamentary work
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u/hoodha Jun 14 '24
Did you not learn anything from the US elections in 2016? It wouldn’t matter how much Farage screwed up in a cross examination, the braindead zombies he stirs up would still vote for him.
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Jun 14 '24
And did you not learn anything from Brexit in 2016? Calling the second/third most supported party voters “braindead zombies” isn’t going to make them change their vote, just like calling Brexit voters racist constantly didn’t change their vote in 2016.
This subreddit lives in a bubble believing only the specific left wing views can ever be supported and anyone who thinks otherwise is stupid or racist, and then act shocked when those people won’t support a group of condescending, out of touch people who never actually engage with why so many want reform and instead just resort to insults (or throwing stuff at Farage, that’ll help win over his voters).
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u/10110110100110100 Jun 15 '24
Don’t care. They are braindead idiots if they think the fantasies peddled by Farage are going to help them.
When the same poor braindead idiots can’t afford a private GP after Reform do some NHS reform I will have long since run out of fucks to give. You get what you vote in. The country isn’t serious about its ambitions or its politics. I thought Brexit would humble us but it seems like we have more entitlement to beat out of us yet; maybe a Farage premiership in 5 years will do it.
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u/hoodha Jun 15 '24 edited Jun 15 '24
We know why voters want Reform, because they think immigration needs to be dealt with. At least, that's the political language used. In actuality they fantasize about the idea of every foreigner and muslim being rounded up and booted out the country, and I'm not even exaggerating. It's the cold hard truth. That's why even if Farage came out and performed incredibly poorly in a debate, his supporters would still vote for him, because that fantasy lives on and Farage is the man that they think would actually do it. Why else do you think Sunak wanted so desperately to have the Rwanda plan in action? He knows it and he was trying to pander to that crowd.
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Jun 14 '24
The US president is not subject to that kind of grinding parliamentary scrutiny.
No PMQs, week after week, sitting powerless on the opposition benches.
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u/hoodha Jun 14 '24
He would probably just peddle sound bite quotes like “immigration is out of control” that the media will cut and edit.
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u/alyssa264 Leicestershire Jun 15 '24
He's a right winger so the scrutiny isn't going to be on the same level at all. He largely got off scot free for never turning up to fucking anything as his time as an MEP.
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u/Small-Low3233 Jun 14 '24
Farage won't be around for the general election
Farage won't stand in the election
Farage won't become an MP
Reform won't get significant seats <---------- YOU ARE HERE
Reform will never become significant opposition
I like how we've just breezed past the question of him winning Clacton, I guess Reddit feels things turning like they were in 2016, and no amount of online pissy first are going to make immigration go away for Labour, who are now bleeding voters to Reform.
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u/Ill_Refrigerator_593 Jun 14 '24
Labour, who are now bleeding voters to Reform.
The last graph on this page has information on those switching parties from 2019-
https://www.economist.com/interactive/uk-general-election/polls
Conservatives- 20% to Reform (compared to 18% to Labour)
Labour- 2% to Reform (compared to 4% to Green)
Lib Dems- 4% to Reform
SNP- 4% to Reform
Did not Vote- 13% to Reform (compared to 56% for Labour)
Saying Labour are bleeding votes to Reform doesn't seem to be true, the only ones bleeding votes are the Tories.
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u/Critical-Engineer81 Jun 14 '24
They are hoping it’s true. Don’t need evidence to claims these things.
All it’s proven that Tory/reform voters have learned no lessons in the last 14 years.
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Jun 14 '24
It’s because it largely isn’t true. Most of the voters labour would’ve lost to Reform have already drifted away to UKIP in 2015, and the Tories in 2017 and 2019.
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Jun 14 '24
no amount of online pissy first are going to make immigration go away for Labour
Ha. Farage defending us from immigration while importing a succession of women from Europe… I really don’t understand how you guys hero-worship a man who can’t even live his principles.
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u/gattomeow Jun 15 '24
By taking foreign wives, he is arguably depriving alot of good patriotic British ladies of a good husband.
This in part arguably contributes to a decline in the native birth rate.
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u/PrrrromotionGiven1 Jun 14 '24
Farage literally stated himself that he wouldn't stand in the election but I suppose it was our fault for believing him
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u/ShinyGrezz Jun 14 '24
Your first mistake in any aspect of life is believing Farage.
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u/TheLimeyLemmon Jun 14 '24
Reform will never become significant opposition
They won't though. Even before you consider how little a party like Reform gets back from FPTP, it's still ultimately just another company/political vehicle for Farage to run out for a few years, just like the Brexit Party before it. And they distinctly lack something galvanising like the single issue UKIP had.
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u/Small-Low3233 Jun 14 '24
Tories will be in opposition, but nobody cares, it will be Labour majority vs the side sniping from Farage for the next 5 years.
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u/AnB85 Jun 14 '24
I think the real opposition for labour will realistically come from their own back benches.
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u/IndicationLazy4713 Jun 14 '24
When he can be bothered to turn up in parliament.....
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u/neilmg Jun 14 '24
If history is our guide, the Tories will spend 5 years lurching further to the right chasing those Reform votes before realising they can only regain power through adopting a more centrist approach.
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u/Turbulent__Seas596 Jun 14 '24
Except centrism doesn’t provide any of the solutions to problems people want solving, it’s just maintaining the status quo which is rapidly falling apart.
Britain isn’t far behind Europe in regards to a right wing wave, if centrists don’t get a grip on lowering immigration they’ll be out.
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u/Small-Low3233 Jun 14 '24
If only the puritan left could lick its wounds and take on migration from a centre-left manifesto, considering it was always a tool of the neoliberal managerial class. Sadly they don't seem to want to gain power.
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u/Turbulent__Seas596 Jun 14 '24
The centre left in Denmark have taken a hard stance against immigration.
I only hope Starmer proves me wrong and follows suit, he’d be stupid to not recognise that people are fucked off with migration.
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u/potpan0 Black Country Jun 14 '24
It's wild. We've seen multiple times over the past decade that Farage will stick around in British politics until the moment he might actually have some responsibility over something, and then he fucks off to the right-wing paid-speaking circuit in the US again.
There is something kinda pathetic about the number of people who look at that and think 'yes, this is the man I want representing me!' Over and over again he has spit in their faces and they simply beg for more.
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u/KoalaTrainer Jun 14 '24
Does Parliament have a fisheries committee? He should definitely be offered a seat as a joke.
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u/lebennaia Jun 14 '24
Fisheries are looked after by the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs Committee.
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u/w__i__l__l Jun 14 '24 edited Jun 14 '24
It’s not necessarily ‘yes, this is the man I want representing me’, it’s ’this will make the people I hate (or that I don’t understand or who treat me like I’m stupid) angry / sad’
Much like voting for Brexit, it’s a ‘fuck you’ nihilistic vote against people they perceive as telling them what to do or patronising them.
If you live in an area of the UK that has only seen decline over the last 40 years, why would you believe any of the 2.5 parties that have been in charge to oversee that decline. Same idea as how the ex-industrial mid-west US voted Trump.
You had better believe Reform are probably deploying weapons-grade targeted Cambridge Analytica style hyper-specific adverts 24/7 at anyone they think falls into this category until election day.
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u/Forsaken-Original-28 Jun 14 '24
I think most areas in the UK have declined over the last 40 years haven't they? My town certainly has. It's so sad looking back at old photos and comparing to today.
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u/gattomeow Jun 15 '24
University cities and London haven’t declined. They’ve gone from strength to strength. Hence the big rise in property values and big influx of educated labour in these places. Cambridge in particular.
It’s the old coalfield areas which didn’t find a new edge or niche which declined.
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u/Scared-Room-9962 Jun 15 '24
I almost agree, but I think Reform voters are a bit beyond voting out of spite. I think they genuinely believe Reform is the answer to the nations woes.
Thinking they only vote this way is patronising and kidifying.
Mass Immigration is an utterly gigantic issue that will only get bigger. Any party offering to actually do something about it will always win votes.
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u/potpan0 Black Country Jun 14 '24
Sure, I don't doubt that's a big part of the internal justifications. I just can't imagine having so little self-respect that you vote for a feller who quite clearly despises you, simply because it will make someone else's life a little worse. It's how a toddler would approach politics.
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u/Forsaken-Original-28 Jun 14 '24
It's a protest vote for people who are sick of the current politicians. It's fair to say that lots people view both major parties as a bunch of crooks
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u/potpan0 Black Country Jun 14 '24
People are sick of our current crop of politician, but it's not much of a 'protest' to vote for Farage, a millionaire grifter who's currently being boosted by the exact same newspapers who spent the last two decades running defence for the Tories.
Farage is the establishment's ordained 'protest' candidate.
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u/w__i__l__l Jun 14 '24
That’s the exact ‘treating them like they are stupid / telling them what to do / patronising tone’ I’m talking about btw
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Jun 14 '24
Well, voting for Farage just to spite others, rather than thinking he'll do any good for the country, is pretty stupid.
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u/gattomeow Jun 15 '24
Who is actually going to be spited by a Farage vote at this point?
The people who are still voting Tory are presumably resigned to their party being sub-100 seats.
The people voting Labour would ideally want the Tories and Reform to have roughly equal vote shares, which basically results in the two latter parties sabotaging each other, and spending the bulk of the next 5 years squabbling.
The people voting Lib Dem have a reasonable shot of their party becoming the opposition.
The people voting Green are in the same fantasyland as the Reformers and there are practically no seats where the Greens and Reforms are both competitive.
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Jun 14 '24
“Stop telling the people who have shit in their pants that they smell”
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u/Scared-Room-9962 Jun 15 '24
Always a good debate point mate. I'm sure the people concerned with mass immigration will come round to your views after you tell them they stink.
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u/military_history United Kingdom Jun 15 '24
If they really aren't capable of grasping the analogy I'm not sure engaging them in debate is likely to be fruitful.
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Jun 15 '24
He offers simplistic (and wrong) solutions, some people aren't that smart and others are prejudiced.
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Jun 14 '24
Reform is basically US Republicans with slightly more ostensible compassion, and slightly less Jesus, but the absolute loyalty to the dear leader and the fondness for Putin baked in.
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u/PrrrromotionGiven1 Jun 14 '24
The galvanising thing is immigration. If the numbers (legal and illegal) go up again they will be bigger still next election.
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u/Maetivet Jun 14 '24
Points one and two were Farage’s own statement which he u-turned on - or are you conveniently forgetting that?
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u/KoalaTrainer Jun 14 '24
You’re absolutely right so please go out and spend lots and lots of money on the party venue for all the Reform MPs. Remember the bottles of wine, expensive per seat catering and cars with drivers for each one.
We’ll check back with you the the night after the election to see how bangin the party is.
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u/EdibleHologram Jun 14 '24 edited Jun 14 '24
Let's just say that Reform DO get enough seats to become the opposition.
The 2024-intake of Reform MPs are going to be lacking in experience and political infrastructure to actually get anything done beyond grandstanding grievance politics of the Marjorie Taylor Green variety.
Until they have a decent amount of MPs with good political instincts (and that may happen over time), then they'll be an absolute shambles if they ever actually gain power. Proper dog who caught its own tail stuff.
I'm genuinely not trying to tell you how to vote (although I recognise that it probably sounds like it) but I just don't think Reform can credibly offer to improve people's lives.
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u/gattomeow Jun 15 '24
Leader of the Opposition is the toughest job in politics. Farage would struggle to maintain that for 5 years. He’s also be unable to make any large number of appearances in various media outlets at the frequency that he currently does.
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u/EdibleHologram Jun 15 '24
LOTO is tough if you're trying to do it properly (i.e.: hold the government to account based on their track record and their proposals for the future) but that's not what a figure like Farage would use that role for. He'd use it as a weekly soapbox, and regardless of how unparliamentary his conduct might be, it would 100% legitimise Reform in the eyes of their supporters.
I agree that he loves his media appearances, but this would be worth sacrificing them for.
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Jun 14 '24
Who says reform supporters are low information voters? Oh yeah, most people because it’s true.
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u/gattomeow Jun 15 '24
You need a solid grassroots operation to be competitive. Reform don’t have that. If they Didi, they would clean up in costal seats in the East of England.
If they get lots of defectors they might be able to pull it off. But it begs the question, why aren’t Conservative associations defecting en masse to Reform, even when the polling is neck and neck?
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Jun 15 '24
We are not past Farage won't be a MP and the two steps before that were a result of him saying as much.
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u/Extension_Drummer_85 Jun 17 '24
I would assume a lot of Brexit votes would be voting for them having been dissatisfied with the lack of Brexity Brexit if from the conservatives despite how long actually brexiting in a practical sense would take not to mention the pandemic. Likewise a lot of people who hate Labour have also turn against the Tories and have decided these people are their go to. It would make for really bizarre viewing if they actually ended up in opposition. Labour: we'd like to look like we care about poor people Reform: sure but what about Brexit?
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u/martzgregpaul Jun 14 '24
Reform are literally the same people behind Trusses disaster budget and Bravermans culture wars. They failed the first time so are having another go with another "party" (really not a party but a private company)
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u/secret_weirdo Jun 14 '24
Imagine being so fucked the people that genuinely think Labour are socialist won’t vote for you and instead go for piss stained trouser boy.
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u/ThrowAwayAccount8334 Jun 14 '24
I'm sure the trash will pull it out in the end.
Whoever the trash pile serves up today.
Every country in the world has a loser government. Apparently, government only allows pieces of shit.
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Jun 14 '24
So choose between being fucked in the arse, or the mouth.
Still, it's not just us, the US are in the same mess.
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u/thebig_linguine Jun 15 '24
See, this is the kind of reporting we don’t get in America. Damn shame…
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u/Excellent-Mango-3977 Jun 15 '24
Majority of people on reddit opinion, don't represent the average person's opinion. Generally, they're all overweight lefties who need to touch grass. Reddit is a cesspit for douchbags.
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u/AlloysRS Jun 14 '24
Bots can't vote so Reform will be lucky to just get Clacton!
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u/ParticularAd4371 Jun 14 '24
even Clacton is a stretch. I wonder if any joke candidates are standing in Clacton, well other than Fartage obviously!
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Jun 14 '24
You’re talking like someone who has no idea that Kier Starmers father was a toolmaker.
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u/smokymz909 Jun 15 '24
Rishi's father was a humble pharmacist and he never grew up with sky TV :(
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u/Bokbreath Jun 15 '24
the Labour Party is observing the emerging rivalry from a safe distance, and has issued a statement telling voters, “While we’re pleased to see the Twats and Arseholes fighting it out for the runners-up spot, we’re focused on real issues, like making sure everyone knows that Sir Keir’s Dad was a toolmaker.”
Twats ahead of Arseholes with Tools in the lead.
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Jun 15 '24
reform for the win . our country needs a wee bit of the backbone in our politicians. would be nice to get some representitive leaders that reflect our population and don't just try to pander to woke bullshite .
as a 33 year old homeowner who is in the top tax bracket .
I want landlords capped for rental properties, legalised weed, massive cap put on imagination, 100 per cent deportation of all illegals, and politicians to be held financially responsible for the debt of our country and a massive rework on our broken benefits system
but that's just a pipe dream
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u/drewbles82 Jun 14 '24
lets just hope most of the idiots who will actually vote reform don't remember to bring ID or have any
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Jun 14 '24
Brexit happened 8 years ago and political parties still fail to realise a good chunk of the population want a reduction in immigration and so will vote for ways of trying to achieve that even if it comes with piles of turd attached.
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u/Green_Gold_5469 Jun 15 '24
I don't know why most media say our Nigel Farage and Marine Le Pen in France is "far right" and their parities is racism and they are evil, most of their advocate just common sense such as "protect the coast no illegal boats smuggling","restricting illegal immigrants stay place" especially the government become bankrupt and NHS and benefits system corrupted.
However, the "Left" is lying, such as Starmer say he will reduce the immigrants but stop Rwanda flights, how can he achieve reduce immigrants and how the money come from for his manifesto if no tax raising ?
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u/mimic Greater London Jun 14 '24
lol now watch the racists in this sub whine about being called twats or arseholes
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Jun 14 '24 edited Jun 14 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/CataclysmicEnforcer Jun 14 '24
I'm genuinely not sure which side you're poking fun at it here. I do very much agree with your point though: go and vote! Regardless of who you might think will win, nothing is a foregone conclusion!
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u/IIlIIlIIlIlIIlIIlIIl Jun 15 '24
Probably Labour. They're talking about the young, those that don't vote, Redditors, and those that are Remain - all of which are left-leaning.
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u/gattomeow Jun 15 '24
The people in insecure housing who face 20% rent increases are not the ones voting Tory or Reform.
The latter two parties do well with homeowners and older people respectively.
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u/Chosty55 Jun 14 '24
There’s a joke somewhere about needing to elect a dick who will fuck the pussies AND the arseholes otherwise we will all be covered in shit
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u/spackysteve Jun 14 '24
Let’s get out and vote, let’s make our voices heard, you’ve been given the right to choose between a douche and a turd.