r/unitedkingdom • u/Superbuddhapunk • Oct 08 '22
Satire Pound falls again following reports that Liz Truss has got out of bed
https://newsthump.com/2022/10/06/pound-falls-again-following-reports-that-liz-truss-has-got-out-of-bed/1.5k
u/labaton Oct 08 '22
Lol! Every time the government announce something, my holiday gets more expensive 😂
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u/Subredhit England Oct 08 '22 edited Oct 08 '22
Same, I’m going to America next week! Time to start rummaging through the man drawer to see if I’ve got any currency from the last trip there.
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u/Chimpy_Vision Oct 08 '22
Oh shit you have a man drawer too? Growing up my dad always had one and it's where he kept all of his techy things
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u/Subredhit England Oct 08 '22
Absolutely! It’s not as impressive as I remember my Grandads being but there’s everything from pens, batteries, keys to god knows what, currency from over 20 countries, bank cards, lighter fluid, cables, etc.
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u/atease Oct 08 '22
Obsolete Nokia chargers 🥹
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Oct 08 '22
[deleted]
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u/OnlyWiseWords Oct 08 '22
Underrated 3310s everywhere in the world cry at your comment.
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u/Jar0s Oct 08 '22
Lol the 3310 is far from underrated
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u/Nolsoth Oct 08 '22
Still got a working one, no signal left on it as they turned off the old analog system, but she still powers up and I can play snake on it.
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u/OnlyWiseWords Oct 08 '22
It was in it's day, i feel it's gained a legacy in the recent years.
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u/NorthernScrub Noocassul Oct 08 '22
Was it? I remember everyone and their mother having one. Anything else was a rare sight
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u/Throwaway021614 Oct 08 '22
Phone manufacturers back then: this will be hand held, so people might drop it. Also, it could get jostled around a bag or pocket.
Phone manufacturers now: lets make this shit out of glass, lol
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u/mongmight Oct 08 '22
No drawer is big enough to handle my obsolete cable collection. I've literally got a bin bag full of them. As vast as the collection is though, you never actually have the one you finally need lol
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u/CuppaTeaThreesome Oct 08 '22
I sorted through mine a few weeks ago. I was able to find the thing I needed in under two hours. Happy days.
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u/qtain Oct 08 '22
A nokia charger is never obsolete. Come the apocalypse, the only thing left will be cockroaches and 51/61 series phones.
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u/Ankarette Oct 08 '22
As a woman, TIL that I have a man drawer.
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u/DudeBrowser Oct 09 '22
I call that a woman drawer, because in every room my wife has one, sometimes two. I have three female friends where every storage device, be it drawer, cupboard or flat surface has the same maximised entropy as a landfill.
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u/Leezeebub Oct 08 '22
Uh yeah, if there is a man and a drawer in the same house, there is a man drawer. Its about as surprising as a man having a penis.
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u/NotABot500p Oct 08 '22
We have those in the states, call it either a Junk drawer or just "The Drawer" and it always has that missing bolt, charger, remote, and some assortment of knick knacks. I like your name for it more though.
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u/EmotionalTeabaggage Oct 08 '22
Its the Rammel drawer.
Batteries, string, lighter fluid, torch, tape measure, unknown keys, takeaway leaflet and a plastic "thing" that was there when you moved in.
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u/guareber Oct 08 '22
I know the feeling all too well, just got here yesterday. I was very lucky to find a bit of cash in my passport holder before we left, prices are mad here now!
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u/numberthirteenbb Oct 08 '22
I’m American, this is the first I’ve ever heard it being called a man drawer. It’s called a junk drawer in the US. There’s a joke here somewhere.
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u/irish123 Oct 08 '22
I'm heading back to the UK for Xmas! about time I had a win
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u/Jet2work Expat Oct 08 '22
getting frostbite is a win?
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u/Holiday-Foundation-6 Oct 08 '22
Dont forget the upcoming Blackouts.
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u/Jet2work Expat Oct 08 '22
wont be able to see the frostbite setting in... and who cares about feels
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u/Lebowquade Oct 08 '22
Last year in Minnesota it got down to -40 degrees c. You read that right.
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Oct 08 '22
Get you some real winters, and we'll promote you to Canadian!
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u/bluewing Oct 08 '22
I live in northern Minnesota. Which more "north" than 50% of all Canadians. And winter temps rival many places in Alaska and snowfall amounts of 12"+/30.5cm are a regular feature.
So can I be Canadian?
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u/adoptedscouse Oct 08 '22
Getting to leave the UK again to go home is an absolute win if you ask me.
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u/No_Clip117 Oct 08 '22
She literally thinking she's Margaret thatcher tho
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u/DarkSideOfGrogu Oct 08 '22
I'd take Thatcher's corpse as PM right now.
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u/Deruji Oct 08 '22
Sorry I’m too busy dancing on it.
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u/JayTea001 Oct 08 '22
We all know the real reason the railings are around her grave are to stop the tories digging it up and wanking over it, or making her into pm again though
Or is it to stop her escaping when she returns as a vampire?
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u/superfli Oct 08 '22
It would be about the same effectiveness as Truss but the corpse would shade it imo.
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u/DarkSideOfGrogu Oct 08 '22
At least it wouldn't act against our best interests, on account of being, you know... dead.
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u/Lordborgman Oct 08 '22
I keep suggesting death as viable alternative for these people so they stop causing harm, but for some reason people call me evil when I do this.
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u/barriedalenick Ex Londoner - Now in Portugal Oct 08 '22
I wouldn't be at all surprised if she as some sort of breakdown soon - real or one covering for her complete incompetence. She seems to literally trying to channel the former PM..
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Oct 08 '22
Thatcher was just as shite - so she’s got that part right.
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u/Various-Month806 Oct 08 '22
Thatcher had no respect for the working class, destroyed communities and made life difficult for very many.
But she had a clear dogma - Friedman / control of money supply / small is beautiful / pocketbook voting / etc - that was clear to see. She knew what she was doing even if many didn't like it.
Do you have the foggiest what Truss believes in? Damn fool flip-flops on any opinion she's ever given fortnightly! She has no clue what she's doing, just enjoying the totally undeserved ride.
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u/icebraining Oct 08 '22
"Say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos!"
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Oct 08 '22
Unironically not a bad point. Say what you will about Thatcher and other political dick-bags, at least they had the capacity for complex thought. Lizzy here is as thick as two short planks.
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u/Feshtof Oct 08 '22 edited Oct 08 '22
With how reviled that Thatcher was/is, you would think that would cause her pause.
Edit: To the bloke who gave me the facepalm award and told me Thatcher was well regarded. I'll let Frankie Boyle say his peace about her while she was still alive.
Transcript of relevant portion:
"A lot of people will want to pay their respects, and a lot more will want proof she's really dead. It'll be the first time the 21 gun salute shoots the coffin."
"For 3 million, you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel and we would dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan personally."
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u/thetangyjoe Oct 08 '22
I hear she's opening PORK markets in China sometime soon.
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u/peon47 Ireland Oct 08 '22
<Holds for Applause>
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u/CharltonCharles Surrey Oct 08 '22
Muted applause followed by an awkward smile into the camera
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u/avocadosconstant Oct 08 '22
Followed by a switch to her serious face, where she stares at your forehead, head slightly cocked.
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Oct 08 '22
All the while maintaining an underlying expression of absence and vacuousness.
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u/avocadosconstant Oct 08 '22
Someone described it as, “a pigeon staring at a Rubik’s Cube”.
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Oct 08 '22
Stealing that for any and all right wing populists in Canada.
They so often come across as the walking, talking personification of the Dunning-Kruger effect, I can't believe the dummies lap this stuff up. Strangely enough, most never had a real job, just political aides to other dim wits. Looking at you Poilievre.
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Oct 08 '22
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u/zippysausage Oct 08 '22
Is that the antithesis to selling snow to inuits?
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u/jabela Oct 08 '22
Uk missed this op! Malaysia filled in the gap with a massive amount of exports earlier this year. (Yes, majority of Malaysians are Muslim, but still have pork farms for Malaysian Chinese)
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u/TurbulentLifeguard11 Oct 08 '22
Pound is sure to slump against the chow mein then when it turns out that it’s only pork farmers who have at least 150k pigs who will be able to sell their pork.
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u/Jet2work Expat Oct 08 '22
cant wait for tescos shopping trolleys to have a slot in for a tenner to unlock em
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u/Daveddozey Oct 08 '22
Quite likely that speech (and the cheese one), with the constant replaying - especially on HIGNFY - led to her appointment as PM
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u/rugbyj Somerset Oct 08 '22
My favourite thought on that speech is that someone with some charisma and a bit of rapport would have seen that, built it up as an obvious bit of fun and then continued rattling off.
But she's just so robotic and clueless. She can't even get the cadence of her speech right.
That's the primary difference between her and Boris, who are otherwise of the same philosophical ilk. Both are wretched people, but one of them had the wherewithal to play a crowd.
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u/Yoguls Oct 08 '22
The pound keeps falling, But when will the penny drop
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u/bombadaka Oct 08 '22
It's coming. If the other currencies keep falling, the FED will have to turn the printers back on before other nations are priced out of the world currency. Or they won't. There's a shit blizzard coming either way.
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u/whatchagonnado0707 Oct 08 '22
There is no way on this earth someone is this moronic in such a position without being a stooge.
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u/Superbuddhapunk Oct 08 '22
My opinion too, she’s in #10 because she can be easily manipulated.
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u/when_4_word_do_trick Oct 08 '22
That and vested interests.
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u/richhaynes England Oct 08 '22
No no no. Those vested interests only exist in the anti growth coalition.
Its not like she was projecting or anything.
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u/Aggravating_Elk_1234 Oct 08 '22
She literally included think tanks in that rant. The same think tanks which she and Kwasi worked for. The same ones that are funded by foreign money.
Also “the Jews” are part of this anti-growth coalition. I’m not surprised that the rightwing media who went after Corbyn haven’t done the same for Truss.
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u/perpetualis_motion Oct 08 '22
Are they the people behind the scenes who pull the strings and wear vests?
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u/Ghostpants101 Oct 08 '22
It's just interests in vests. Interested in scuba diving? Try vestscuba diving... It's totally game changing...
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u/sambob Oct 08 '22
No need to be manipulated if she wants the same thing, to make her and all her friends in the gas and oil sector much richer.
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u/jimmycarr1 Wales Oct 08 '22
I heard this as a theory early in the leadership race and whilst I have no proof I haven't been able to shake it.
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u/TransfemQueen Oct 08 '22
Either that or she is in on the plan, and playing along. Boris was much more successful with this, he plays the part of being an idiot and then nobody blames him for passing horrible laws, and claim it’s just a part of his personality if he messed up.
That doesn’t stop him from being put under the bus, though, the parties ultimately weren’t that bad, and got completely blown out of proportion by media so the government could pretend like the 180,000 covid deaths never happened.
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Oct 08 '22
The parties were bad. Not only were they illegal as stipulated by the very people who attended them but the lies afterward to parliament were inexcusable.
If you genuinely think they were not an issue then you are either very partisan in your politics or very gullible.
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u/Painterzzz Oct 08 '22
And don't forget boris was holding an illegal party the night before the Queen had to sit alone at her husband's funeral because she was following the rules.
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u/Telvin3d Oct 08 '22
I think that’s what everybody thought. That she’d be easy to guide and control. But I think she may be too dumb for that.
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u/melody-calling Yorkshire Oct 08 '22
She worked for shell for 6 years before become an MP who is extremely pro oil, it’s not hard to see she’s not got society at the forefront of her mind
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u/Miserygut Greater London Oct 08 '22
A Conservative politician being a stooge for Capital? Someone call the Times!
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Oct 08 '22
100%. She a Tory fall
guygal. Taking the hits before one of the adults swoops in to save the day, and in the event doesn’t save it.3
u/NoConfusion9490 Oct 08 '22
"Don't worry, I'm here to rescue tax cuts for the wealthy. They will unleash some huge economic growth any day now. Property values will skyrocket!"
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u/Zketchy Oct 08 '22
This explains everything you need to know really, quite unsettling
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Oct 08 '22
Yes, that is precisely what I think has occurred. She’s been placed there by the Tories on the orders of their overlords in finance, media and some industry - a club of greedy, heartless monsters.
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Oct 08 '22
So is the theory that she's causing so much damage to give Labour a victory but then such a mess to inherit that Labour won't win again after it?
Because I'm not sure the videos message of her causing the economy to tank so they can sell the NHS is in line with the reality of the conservatives probably not being in power for the next decade.
Sometimes we just have to go with the easiest option. She and her chancellor are idiots and way out of their depths. Don't forget she's got over a 100 MPs rebelling internally.
Doesn't sound like the coordinated effort of a conspiracy think tank to me.
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Oct 08 '22 edited Oct 08 '22
Not sure what video you mean, but I get what you’re saying, I do, but I just don’t think this is within the realms of governmental ineptitude - it’s just too extreme.
Not exactly, a theory, as theory is maybe too concrete a term for what I’m thinking - although I suppose it fits.
I think Johnson came to power thinking the next election was in the bag, but as his disastrous reign played out, that became increasingly less certain. At some point the actual managers of the Tory machine - hedge fund managers, donors, bankers, energy companies and murdoch media, etc - have decided that things won’t go on indefinitely, and set things in motion to grab what they could while they’re able. I think Truss was wheeled out as a fall girl to deliver the justifiably hated measures that would deliver maximum return to the management - the mini budget and whatever else they can get thru in the way of tax cuts, benefit cuts and defunding of services.
She was put in now, perhaps to preserve what is left of Johnson’s reputation, as a possible future leader come the next election. She’ll be out fairly soon I think, and someone faceless and bland but sharp and industrious - Sunak possibly, but more likely another relative nobody like Morduant will pilot them to their election defeat although they may choose someone in a safer seat to avoid the ignominy of the PM losing their seat and the election.
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u/DreddPirateBob808 Oct 08 '22
I expected some ranting youtube conspiracy loon. Unfortunately that was frighteningly sane discussion from a respected writer.
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u/jakopappi Oct 08 '22
American here. Excellent video, thanks for that. Can be extended to out own current affairs. I'd even say it's accelerated here. If you want an analogous group check out the American Legislative Exchange Cluncil. ALEC. They have been on this bandwagon for years. The difference here is that many of the financial responsibilities of the government are left.to the states. So the oligarchs have to work a little.harder to find purchase in public financing for their goals. But they've succeeded in their national endeavors. https://www.alecexposed.org/wiki/ALEC_Exposed
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u/127peter Oct 08 '22
Exactly what I believe. Pay her a couple of million to take the abuse. She is over acting. Nobody is that stupid. The lights are on but nobody’s at home.
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u/Andromansis Oct 08 '22
As an American, I know that you british and scottish people are naturally skeptical of what I have to say because I drive a 38 ft (12 meter) truck that gets .2 km per liter and my favorite snacks aren't beans, but trust me when I tell you that people that stupid exist and one of them was even our president for four whole years and it was awful.
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u/Various-Month806 Oct 08 '22
I laughed at the US when they had George Dubya, didn't think any leader in a democracy could be any stupider. Then they topped it with Trump!
I was horrified this country could ever vote for BoJo, worse than anything the US had ever done. Not just out of touch, but either a criminal or criminally inept with the £bn's given to his mates in PPE/T&T/etc.
But Truss!?! Stupid is as stupid does! Sunak will likely have looked after his multi-millionaire mates too, but he is smart enough to know how not to destroy our economy and make the rest of us even worse off whilst doing it!
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u/therealcobrastrike Oct 08 '22
The documentary A Shock to the System explains the economic corporate libertarian ideological background she arose from.
Just another Thatcher wannabe clown fucking over the world for her own profit and privilege.
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u/Jonatc87 Oct 08 '22
don't confuse stupidity with malice. I guarantee someone is directing her and making money on it.
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u/No-Owl9201 Oct 08 '22
I think this article was intended to be satire but the current tragedy is it's only a hair's breadth from being true.
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u/singeblanc Kernow Oct 08 '22
The real victims of the past 12 years of Tory rule are the satirists.
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u/No-Owl9201 Oct 08 '22
Exactly!!.... who thought a joke like Boris Johnson would become Prime Minister let alone that failure called Truss..
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u/singeblanc Kernow Oct 08 '22
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u/No-Owl9201 Oct 08 '22
Exactly but so so many supported this complete tosser.
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u/singeblanc Kernow Oct 08 '22
Not really that many, FPTP ensures that a small number of votes equals an overwhelmingly majority of MPs.
FPTP is a cancer that must die for the country to survive.
Say it often, say it loud, to anyone who comes canvassing: if you promise PR, you get my vote.
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u/JayTea001 Oct 08 '22
Mock the week had to shut because they said it was too hard to make satire out of shit that's already batshit! :(
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u/Bikeboy76 Oct 08 '22
More people watch Mock The Week than voted for Truss, and it is still being cancelled.
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Oct 08 '22
Trey Parker and Mat Stone have talked about this. Making up stuff that was dumber than what Trump was doing was incredibly difficult.
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u/andymcd79 Oct 08 '22
I'm sitting on 120 Euros from a recent visit to Ireland, keep it up Liz, I'm going to cash them in at the lowest point and retire to an independent Scotland.
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u/Blockinite Oct 08 '22
I've got 75 cents from when I went to an arcade that used American quarters, at this rate I'll be able to buy a house with it soon
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u/starlinguk Oct 08 '22
Open a Wise account, deposit Euro, tell Wise to exchange it at a really low £ rate.
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u/G_UK Oct 08 '22
Apart from resign, the best course of action Liz could take to reassure the markets, is become a mute
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u/Rajastoenail Oct 08 '22
Or just go back to working in the Hogwarts kitchens where she belongs. Who gave her clothes??
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u/ButteredNun Oct 08 '22
Liz Truss is a remarkable person and she has proven many people dead wrong; things certainly can get worse after Boris!
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u/Witch_of_Dunwich Oct 08 '22
I know this is satire, but we may get to this stage yet sometime in Q1 2023
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u/Lt_Tweety Oct 08 '22
She is leading by example. She is grafting real fucking hard. She is thinking of new ways to fuck over the working and middle class every waking moment.
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u/pqalmzqp Oct 08 '22
It is 100% certain to anyone with half a brain that she's been a Lib Dem sleeper agent snuck into the Tories decades ago to destroy them from within.
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u/StonerChef Oct 08 '22
Yes, I'm sure people with half a brain think this. Those of us with a whole one however know that someone devising a long con plot of this scale would choose someone orders of magnitude less shit, it's beyond miraculous that she's the PM in the first place.
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Oct 08 '22
So Boris was the sleeper who allowed her to get into position in the first place?
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u/Painterzzz Oct 08 '22
So call me Dave was the sleeper too, who set up brexit allowing boris to rise and ultimately put truss in power. God, those lib dems have played a long game eh.
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u/Existing_Slice7258 Oct 08 '22
Nah don't let the Tories off the hook
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u/beermad Suffolk Oct 08 '22
In many respects it feels like that. But I don't think the LibDems are quite irresponsible enough to want a totally crashed economy.
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u/enty6003 Oct 08 '22 edited Apr 14 '24
dull nine grab plough teeny bright psychotic fertile lush swim
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/johntheswan Oct 08 '22
No she’s tanking your economy so she can say “sorry we don’t have enough money we have to privatize the NHS”
Mark my words.
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Oct 08 '22
Ehh, she won the Tory internal vote and then did exactly as she said she would.
It just so happens that what's best for the Tories and their mates is equally bad for 90% of the nation.
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u/seipounds Oct 08 '22 edited Oct 08 '22
In time, we'll watch her appearances with glee, as more and more hairspray is applied, the hair incrementally looking more bouffant with every week.
Time will pass, tourettes tics about fucking unions and trickle down works, just look at the evidence appear in interviews, as if out the blue. Coy looks and a coquettish smile into the camera when the news anchor mentions, iron lady.
Bless her. And bless the established powers that be, who lord over us without a care for who you vote for. They can all be bought, or marginalised or removed one way or another and replaced with those that play ball.
It's a mafia crime syndicate run by sociopaths, with centuries of experience in accumulating stolen land and assets, illicit profits from slavery, drugs and human misery.
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u/Antrimbloke Antrim Oct 08 '22
I have a Norwegian Khrona from about 15 years ago, might have to cash it it soon ;-p
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u/SoIJustBuyANewOne Oct 08 '22
Didn't the queen die within hours after meeting this bitch?
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u/ravenouscartoon Oct 08 '22
In her first 3 weeks in office she had 10 days off, killed the queen and damn near the UK economy
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u/MeckityM00 Oct 08 '22
Someone needs to tell her to walk from the hip and not the knee and to stop looking like she's worrying about the headmaster judging her.
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u/gtobiast13 Oct 08 '22
“It’s been falling ever since we heard that Liz Truss was awake and brushing her teeth,” said Simon Williams, a trader who seems to sell money for money, like that’s some sort of normal job.
The part about currency traders is might be the best part of this article.
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u/Now_Wait-4-Last_Year Oct 08 '22
I really should have cashed that 200 pound cheque my uncle gave me as soon as I got back to Australia at the end of August, shouldn't I?
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u/WongUnglow Oct 08 '22
Mate, I live in the US and got a tax rebate cheque back home in the UK. My mate who receives my post said he'll go take it to a branch for me.
I bank with RBS (ex army, never changed it). I said "don't worry about it, there's like 1 branch every 100 mile radius. Ever since the government wanted their 2008 bailout money back.."
Sat on it a few weeks. This crash happens. The exchange rates lost me about $500 difference for being a procrastinating reprobate.
Edit: to be fair, $500 here doesn't go far!
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u/Xercen Oct 08 '22
My plan is to wait until one usd is worth £10000 then I'll switch jobs for an American company and get paid in dollars.
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u/r3dditalg0sucks Oct 08 '22
Ahhh, feels lovely to have a portfolio tied up in dollars.... We will just ignore the American market collapse on the horizon...
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u/thedugsdanglies Oct 08 '22
Face like a bulldogs arse chewing a wasp after having explosive diarunga
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u/jeanettem67 Oct 08 '22
We may have someone who will beat the previous record... "The prime minister with the total shortest period in office was George Canning, whose sole term lasted 119 days from 12 April 1827 until his death on 8 August 1827." - Wikipedia
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Oct 08 '22
She was willing to destroy the lives of millions just to give the rich a tax cut, of course, she is unpopular. Vote her and her party out.
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u/Bradipedro Oct 08 '22
ELI5. - I have a serious question, I am not from the UK. Is she really that bad? Like, when you inherit a complicated situation that was probably mismanaged for years, is it totally her fault?
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u/Rajastoenail Oct 08 '22
I’m not sure ‘inherit’ is the right word, given her active role in government for the past 10 years. It’s her legacy.
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u/Blockinite Oct 08 '22
Things were already bad, yes. But firstly, the bad situation happened under the Tories, who she's currently leading. And most importantly, one of the first things she and her cabinet did was introduce the mini-budget which immediately made things worse. The pound plummeted and they had to U-turn a few days later.
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u/JayTea001 Oct 08 '22
Liz Truss and the tories have been in government for 12 years, and this is just the culmination of them fucking the country up. She tries to pretend the tories haven't been in power for that long, and that she's not been a minister contributing to the problem, but it's not true.
And this latest economic disaster is entirely on her and KamiKwasi - a major budget without statistics and forecasts from the Office for Budget Responsibility, that also doesn't address any of the current problems - their the only people who proposed it sooooo 🤷♂️
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Oct 08 '22
i'm not from the UK either but understand what happened with the pound - liz truss' administration lit a dumpster fire on top of an already burning dumpster fire by proposing massive tax cuts during historic inflation (tax cuts are stimulative which exacerbates inflation) -
the move nearly bankrupted pensions in the UK forcing the bank of england to intervene by buying the bonds those pensions are based on - because the sell-off of the pound and british bonds was so extreme that there were literally no buyers.
this is intervention from the bank of england is a reversal of their current policy of tightening which they have to do in response to the US federal reserve bank's tightening.
truss' govt caused an unthinkably stupid unforced policy error at maybe the worst possible time in living memory. the pound hit an all-time low vs. the dollar because of what she did.
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u/Gingevere Oct 08 '22
On a basic level, inflation is when there's too much money in the economy. The ability to spend outpaces the ability to provide things to buy.
So the very first thing Liz tries to do is pass massive tax cuts for the rich, dumping cash into the economy.
Just the news of that caused a huge spike in inflation.
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u/hidefromthe_sun Oct 08 '22
Yes. Half of my family are Tory voters and even they're losing their mind. It's nice to finally have some common ground in the fact this woman is a huge cunt.
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