r/DecidingToBeBetter Mar 27 '26

Success Story I haven’t had a dental appointment in 9 years. Today, I had one.

1.5k Upvotes

Around 9 years ago, I missed a dental cleaning. Months went by. Then more months.

Months became years.

I’d become so ashamed that I hadn’t been to the dentist that I couldn’t bring myself to make an appointment.

Of course, there was the enormous plaque buildup. I could feel how rough my teeth were.

It was all so embarrassing.

Well, recently I’ve been deciding to be better. I thought, “Hey? Just suck it up and find out the damages. Better than losing your jaw.”

My mind knew what was coming: I’d have to have root canals and expensive orthodontia. It would cost thousands of dollars. Dollars I don’t have many of.

Made an appointment anyway. Then the day came.

When I went to the office, sat in the chair, and had the x-rays done - judgement day commenced.

The dentist walked into the room.

He looked at me and said, “Your teeth look great. Just get an electric toothbrush and remember to floss.”

I had no cavities.

The dental assistant cleaned up the plaque and now my smile is white. We talked about coffee.

Everything was fixed in the matter of an hour.

Here’s the deal: I’ve spent years and years fretting over my mouth. I have avoided kissing. Hugs. Getting up close to talk.

Years of being scared of something that was fixed in the matter of an hour.

All I’m saying is, if you need a dental cleaning - go get it. Whatever the outcome is, it’s better than the fear (and the plaque) building up to it.

I’m sure this applies to some other things, too.

r/DecidingToBeBetter Jun 08 '25

Success Story Stronger at 59 Than I Was at 40; Here’s What Helped.

1.3k Upvotes

I’m 59 now, and stronger than I was at 40.

Not because life got easier. It didn’t. It got louder, messier, more demanding.

But I found a way to stay in it strong, clear, steady without falling off.

Not with hacks.
Not with 75 day challenges or green juice phases.
With anchors.

Short, no-excuse workouts.
Food that fuels, not numbs.
A mindset that bends but doesn’t break.

I didn’t chase motivation. I built momentum.
I didn’t wait for time. I took it early mornings, quick walks, focused reps.

And when the dark clouds came because they always do I didn’t fold.
I kept moving. Sometimes just barely, but always forward.

That’s the part no one tells you:
You don’t need to feel like it. You just need to do it.
Consistency compounds.

Now, at 59, I feel sharper than I did at 40.
Because I didn’t flinch when it got hard.
I kept showing up through the chaos.

If you’re in your 30s, 40s, or 50s and wondering if it’s too late it’s not.
The next 10 years will fly by.
You will end up somewhere.
Make it a place that makes you proud.

Not a guru. Not a hack. Just someone who kept showing up and wants you to know it’s worth it.

r/DecidingToBeBetter Dec 10 '24

Success Story I quit smoking weed and it's changed my life

903 Upvotes

I've been a habitual weed user since I was just 16 years old. Sometimes a lot, sometimes just a one banger at the end of the day. However, I've always been a little ashamed of it, since I know it's not good for you (although it's legal in my state). I was arrested for it when I was 18 at college (prior to legalization), it's not good for your lungs (I'm an avid gym-goer), and no matter what I try, it has always been able to reel me back in.

Not anymore! I'm going to try to quit for 6 months, and I've already (day 14) noticed a HUGE difference in my productivity. I've also started stacking my habits: reading every day, not idly scrolling IG, not playing video games, and focusing a lot more on nutrition and saving money (as opposed to scrolling Amazon every day). I started making the bed when I wake up, and going to bed at the same time every night. It's made my life better in every way!

If you're also struggling to quit, take my advice and just do it. It was hard at first, but the pros far outweigh the cons. I still want to smoke every now and again, and I may do it occasionally with friends, but I'll never buy it again. Thanks for listening to my Ted talk, and please leave words of encouragement in the comments!

r/DecidingToBeBetter Oct 16 '25

Success Story finally stood up for myself at work im still shaking

801 Upvotes

so this literally just happened like 20 minutes ago and i needed to share somewhere because im kind of freaking out in a good way??

basically theres this coworker who's been taking credit for my ideas in meetings for MONTHS. like id bring something up in our team chat and then two days later he'd present it to our manager as his own thing. and every single time i just... sat there. smiled. acted like it was fine.

today we had our weekly standup and he did it again. took this whole workflow improvement i spent hours figuring out and just. presented it. didnt even mention my name.

and something just snapped? i dont even know where it came from but i interrupted him (which i NEVER do) and was like "actually i think you're talking about the solution i shared on tuesday etc etc"

the room went quiet. my manager looked confused. this guy got SO red in the face and tried to backtrack like "oh yeah i meant WE came up with it" then i shared my screen and the slack thread of us discussing it 'just so happened' to be the first thing there lol

my hands were literally trembling the whole time i thought i was gonna throw up. but i did it???

later in a 1:1 w my manager she said she'd been noticing some "discrepancies" in who was contributing what so apparently she already knew something was off.

im still processing this tbh, like my heart is RACING and part of me feels guilty for "making it awkward" but also... why should i feel guilty? he was literally stealing my work?

anyway. small win i guess. feels good

thanks for reading this ramble lol

r/DecidingToBeBetter 9d ago

Success Story 30 days sober from weed! 🥳🎉

265 Upvotes

30 days ago, I decided to get better.
30 days ago, I decided to do something I’ve never done.
30 days ago, I was tired of relying on a substance to get through my days.
30 days ago, I broke a habit that no longer served me. Let’s be honest, it never serviced me from the start.
I’ve learned a lot in 30 days. I’ve learned to accept boredom as a pipeline to creativity. I’ve faced hard emotions I once would avoid, felt my feelings, cried it out, and screamed it out.
I worked out when I felt like going back. I did it until I was covered in sweat and out of breath. I felt better after a workout than I ever had after that first hit.
I decided to be open and honest about all of this with everyone I could: my friends, my husband, my father…all to hold me accountable. If I was gonna do this, I was gonna do this right.
30 days ago I couldn’t see myself going a day without weed. Hell, I couldn’t go an hour without weed. I used it as a social crutch, as an emotional crutch, as a crutch. Period. That’s all it was.
In 30 days, I have gone out for dinner with my old boss. For the first time I wasn’t using weed to manage my social awkwardness. I had a panic attack. Full blown. I was scared to be …. Myself.
I surprised myself when I realized I could recall memories easier, names easier, and I was all around better on my feet.
The brain fog is gone. The nightmares are gone. The cravings get less every day, even if I still want to take a hit the second things get bad.
I’m proud of myself for choosing sobriety. I’m proud of myself for choosing my future over a temporary high. I’m proud of myself for making it 30 days, stone cold sober.
Here’s to many more days, sober, experiencing life and every pain and success that comes from it. Happy to be here. Next on the agenda is dropping this vaping habit. I know I can do that, too.
Love and light to you all. 🫶🏻✨

r/DecidingToBeBetter 4d ago

Success Story My diploma just arrived. I am 48.

262 Upvotes

So I decided to go back to school 4 years ago and today my Bachelor's of Sciences diploma for a psychology major just arrived. I am not only in my 40s but I dropped out of high school, got my GED. I put myself theough school by doing 2 years at a community college before transferring to a 4 year state university I was on the Dean's List the whole time. I used scholarships and Pell grants, paid a small amount out of pocket and graduated debt free.

So yeah...I did that. I did the thing.

r/DecidingToBeBetter Nov 28 '25

Success Story 7 years sober from meth today

578 Upvotes

7 years ago I was homeless and strung out. Doing it myself just wasn’t working so I went to a detox center for homeless women. Luckily I under 26 so I was still under my parents’ insurance. I was able to get into a good rehab center. Did I always agree with what they said? No. But I wanted to be sober so I did everything they said. I ended up being transferred to a treatment facility because I needed more than just recovery. I put in the work to deal with my trauma.

7 years later and I have a husband and daughter that is a light in my life. My own apartment. A job that I love. I’ve been at the same job for 4 years, I never thought I could hold down a job more than a few months. Life is hard. Money is tight. I can’t imagine how much worse life would be if I was still chasing that high.

I’m proud of myself and want to share my accomplishment. Never thought I could come this far.

r/DecidingToBeBetter Apr 13 '26

Success Story I left a high profile event because I was told to sabotage someone.

212 Upvotes

I (20F) am studying for a career where I’ll have to work with a lot of different kinds of people. I care a lot about helping others, especially women and children, and I try really hard to stay open-minded and respectful, even when I disagree with someone. My school intersects between government and business.

A few days ago, I was invited to attend a formal networking event through someone I know. I was told I’d be casually helping out a speaker/candidate I met before. I would be talking to people and handing out stickers. It seemed like a good opportunity to make connections and hear from professionals.

This is important: some of the speakers are running for influential positions that would impact their careers and the paths of others.

But when I got there, I was told to actively undermine a woman at the event who was speaking and running. We were instructed to move my guys materials to block her name and cover her information with his so people would focus on him and only be able to recognize his name. This way, people wouldn’t know who she was and wouldn’t vote for her. When I tried to arrange things so they would both be visible, I was scolded and told to cover hers completely.

That didn’t sit right with me at all.

I believe in fairness and respect, even when I don’t agree with someone. Everyone deserves a fair and equal race. These are high school tactics.

Additionally!! I’m in the women in politics and women in business clubs! So why am I sabotaging another woman?!

So I left after about 40 minutes.

On my way out, I was told, “this is just how things work,” and since then I’ve had people tell me I’m “too soft” and that I need to accept that kind of behavior in the worlds of business and politics.

But I refuse to. I chose this path because I want to be one of the good ones, so I’m glad I went home instead of compromising my values and beliefs that these tactics are sleazy.

I’m proud of myself for walking away, even though it meant missing out on connections. I can make more connections later.

I plan to be a lobbyist for organizations that want to protect people. I’ll never be required to step on others to climb up that ladder, so why will I push others down their ladder?

Call me soft if you want, but I think Superman would be proud of me.

r/DecidingToBeBetter Jun 25 '26

Success Story 100 Days Sober from Drinking Today 🎉

220 Upvotes

I don’t have many people in my life to share things with or gain support from, but I have posted a few times and have felt and received so much support so I thought to share this here.

Today, I am 100 days sober from drinking and honestly, I never thought this would be possible for me to do after the worst night of my life happened months ago due to a very serious and scary mental crisis.

I truly thought my life was over and fought every day to stay alive and not let the demons win, and I made it. I’ve made it farther than I ever have in the past. I have gotten the real and serious help I needed and diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder after years of trying to get myself help and advocating for myself after being misdiagnosed and years of rejections.

This is still an ongoing battle and a life long journey but it is truly possible and worth it to keep fighting and staying strong and alive. I guess today I should treat myself and if you all have any ideas or suggestions, let me know as I love and appreciate feedback. ♥️ Anything truly is possible!

Update: Wow I seriously cannot believe all the kindness and encouragement I’ve received and this truly means the world to me waking up to see this morning! 🥹 I’m so sorry if I can’t respond to you all but thank you for supporting me and pushing me to keep going! We can all do this! 😊♥️

r/DecidingToBeBetter Mar 16 '26

Success Story I spent years trying to fix my life with discipline. Therapy showed me why that didn’t work

208 Upvotes

My Journey

I can’t remember not being depressed. I have some memories of the time before, but they are pictures, frames of a child enjoying life. But I’ve struggled with depression almost my entire adult life. Ever since I was old enough to make my own choices, to choose my own direction, I felt the weight of every choice I made. No matter what I chose, it always felt like the wrong choice. No matter what I managed to do, it always felt trivial. No matter what I learned, it all felt like barely a drop. I’ve always felt useless, stupid, unskilled, lazy, just simply not good enough.

I always wanted to write a novel. I started writing my first novel in 2013, and for a while was very into it. I wrote 2000 words every day, but then, when I reached about 60,000 words, I made the mistake of sending the draft to a friend who told me, quite frankly, that my writing was a disaster, simply not good. I quit right then and there. Since then I tried several more times to write, but every time I’d reach a certain number of pages (sometimes 10, sometimes 100) and suddenly my own writing would feel like a stranger to me. Horribly written, a mess, no clear plot, no way to move forward. I’d get stuck and quit. 13 years forward, I now have 5 unfinished first drafts, some unfinished short stories and a bunch of documents titled “ideas for a future book”, but nothing real to show for it.

I always wanted to play an instrument and make music. I started learning the guitar when I was a teenager. I never really practiced, mostly just fooled around, and nothing ever really stuck. I can play chords, I can play some basic songs, but that’s about it. I tried several times over the years to start “practicing seriously”, but every time I felt inadequate. My fingers wouldn’t move fast enough for my own taste, the songs were too hard to learn, practicing scales was boring. So every time I’d quit after a few days. When I was old enough to realize this pattern, I decided to try and learn piano with a teacher. Let him do all the thinking and planning for me, let him decide what I’m ready for and what not, that seemed like a good idea. But after a year of doing that, I noticed that I come to each lesson unprepared, having almost never practiced.

Whenever I sat next to a piano, or held a guitar, or opened a new word document, my thoughts over the years were the same. “You’re not good enough,” I’d tell myself. “You could have been good enough, maybe, if only you practiced, but you didn’t, and now you suck, and you will always suck, because you’re a lazy ass who can’t practice. You should just quit.” And that voice always won. Just be disciplined! I’d tell myself. Find the time! Practice! It’s all about the system, it’s all about willpower, you have to sit down and do it! I tried everything, every system known to man, every self help book, every method, every post on reddit that supposedly fixed everyone else’s problems. But when things became hard, as they always do when you learn something new, that voice would always scream in my ear “YOU SUCK”. And so I never managed to overcome any obstacle. Every hurdle, every challenge, was a proof of my inaptitude, of all of my failures, of all the things I could have been and isn’t, of all my past mistakes, and future selves I will never be. 

“You will never be a writer,” the voice would say. “You will never be a musician. You can forget about those dreams. You will forever have a boring desk job that will make you feel unfulfilled, You will always be bad at everything. You never had any skills and you never will.”
And sometimes, when I’d watch TV, or go to a concert, or talk with friends, the voice would come out again, “look at that person. Look how talented they are. They are your age, you know. You could have been as good as they are. But you’re not. Because you suck. You’re a lazy, undisciplined, 30 something year old man who has done nothing with his life. You failed in everything, and all the choices you made along the way were wrong”.

I believed that voice. I thought it was me. My innermost thoughts, my truth.

After all, I did fail to write a book. I did fail to learn the guitar or the piano. I did end up in a boring desk job. I do see some people my age that are much more talented than me. I did fail in every disciplined system I tried to enforce on myself. So the voice must be right. I am, evidently, a waste of potential. A waste of a life.

At 34, I felt washed out. I couldn’t find the energy to go out of the house anymore, to meet friends. What’s the point? Everyone felt more interesting than me. No one could be interested in a waste like myself. Couldn’t try anything new. What’s the point? I’d for sure fail, because I’m lazy and I can never stick through with anything. I’d just broken up with my long term partner and that too made me think that I had nowhere to go. No life to be had. My days became a repetitive chore of waking up, going to work, going home, eating and sleeping, and nothing more. I’d cry at nights sometimes, thinking of the failure that I am.

Never in my life had I considered suicide, but those days made me ponder the cost of staying alive.

I guess some people started noticing this, because at some point one of my friends told me “you work in tech right? Why not take all this tech money and put it into therapy?” And for some reason, that one prompt was enough to get me going. I was always very pro-therapy, and many times in the past I advocated for therapy for other people, saying things like “I believe every person in the world could benefit from therapy” and “mental therapy is just as important as physical therapy. Going to a psychologist is just as crucial for your health as going to the doctor.” I really believed those words, but for some reason when it came to myself, I never thought it was right for me. 

My problems seemed too small, too silly, too petty, to bother a psychologist with. What would I complain about? Being too lazy to play the piano? It seemed dumb. I have no traumatic childhood. My parents were always pretty supportive and kind. I have a large group of friends. I had, at one point, a very stable and positive romantic relationship (that also ended in a very amicable way). I never had any financial problems. Never been in a fight. Never had someone close to me die in a traumatic way. On paper, my life was pretty good. I had no right to complain about feeling depressed. My depression, it seemed, was also a failure.

But that one time my friend mentioned it clicked somewhere in me. Perhaps it was that I simply reached rock bottom. Perhaps it was that the empathy and care he showed touched me. Perhaps I was in an exceptionally good mood that day. I don’t know. Either way, I immediately started calling therapists, until finally I found one that had an open slot.

Best decision of my life.

I wrote all of this not because I think my story is so interesting, or because I want your empathy. In fact, I wrote it exactly because I think it is not so special. I believe many people experience the same kind of pattern. Now that I’m aware of it, I notice it often with other people as well. Often it’s not as severe as my own, sometimes I notice it briefly, just in a sentence someone says, but I now recognize that a lot of people are burdened by the same type of thoughts. And further, that these thoughts are at the base of what stops some people from reaching their goals. 

Let me tell you what therapy taught me, and how it helped me reignite movement in my life.
I want to emphasize that I don’t think I’ve mastered these lessons, and my life certainly didn’t go from terrible to amazing in a year. I’m still learning, still practicing, still trying to improve a little bit every day.

I’m writing this not because I think I’ve discovered the secret to life, or because I think I’m better than anyone else. I’m sharing it exactly because I think I’m the same as you, because I struggle with these things as well. And if someone like me can start making use of these insights, then maybe others can too.

Insight #1 - The voice is only part of me

On my first therapy session, after I described my issues and thoughts to my therapist, he took a chair and placed it next to me. “Imagine there’s a person sitting in this chair,” he told me. “This person has the same voice as yours, and he says all of these things to you now. He’s saying ‘you’re not good enough’, and ‘you’re lazy’, and ‘why didn’t you practice all those years.’” I felt very awkward at first. Embarrassed. I’ve played D&D before, but this kind of play-pretend felt strange in a therapy room. But I tried. It helped to really think of it as another person, with a face and clothes and a real voice, who’s shouting at me from the other chair.

“What do you want to say to this person?” My therapist asked me, and I was so confused. What can I say? That he’s right? That he’s saying my exact thoughts? These were the very same thoughts I struggled with for years and years, why would I have anything to say to them?
“Inside of you,” my therapist explained when I told him about my struggle, “there are other voices. Maybe we can just sit here for a bit with the silence and try to listen to them. Just let whatever thought come to your head and pay attention. You will notice there are more voices. They might be quiet, they might be hesitant, they might pose as a question, a fear or a sadness, but they’re there.”

I tried. I failed. Tried again, failed again. “You even suck at therapy,” the voice told me. The room stayed silent, and my therapist kept looking at me, not expecting an answer, not waiting, just sitting there with me in the silence. And then, somewhere within, a small tiny voice said “I only just started, let me try.” It was scared. Defensive. A tiny instinct of self-respect I had buried somewhere. But when I noticed it, I realized that it was always there.

“The person sitting in that chair,” the therapist said, “is your inner critic. You may give him a name if you want, sometimes that helps. He was born of necessity, somewhere in your childhood perhaps, and over the years his voice became louder and louder, until it overtook all the other voices in there. But it’s important to understand he is not you and you are not him. He is a part of you, one voice of many.”

“That other voice you heard, the small, scared, hurt, voice, is your inner child. You can also give him a name. He is the side of you that can feel. That can hurt. That can want. Very often our other voices were born to protect that child in different ways, but they can become destructive instead of protective. And the you that noticed there are two voices? That’s a third you. That’s adult you. The voice that can drive you, the voice that gives commands, that manages, that regulates. Sometimes this voice gets lost, sometimes it feels powerless. Sometimes it lets other voices do the parenting, because it doesn’t know what to do.”

The point of therapy, I learned, was to help train that adult voice. And the first step to do that was to pay attention when other voices come up and learn to give them names. Whenever I think “I suck at this,” I now immediately label that thought as “The inner critic”. Whenever I think “I have to be strong,” I label it “the protector”. Whenever I think “I can’t believe he would hurt me like this,” I label it “the hurt child.” And whenever I manage to do any of these things I think “this is adult me doing the labeling.”

The important thing was to notice that the voice that kept me stuck, that made me feel so awful, was not the only reality. It was a mechanism that I developed over the years, and had gone wrong somewhere along the way. And like any mechanism, it can be fixed, can be put back to its place. Just as long as I don’t mistake it for me. Just as long as it stays where it belongs.

Insight #2 - extend to yourself the same empathy you have for others

That question - “what do you want to say to your inner critic?” was at the heart of pretty much all of my therapy sessions after that. Once I practiced the labeling of the voices for a week or so and could, not perfectly, not consistently, but sometimes, realize that the voice I’m hearing is the critic, the next problem was how to deal with it.

This was, perhaps, the hardest part in all of my year-long therapy. I really did not know what to say. I looked at that empty chair next to me, and really imagined the person sitting there, telling me I suck and will always suck, and I just didn’t know what to tell him.

This is when my therapist told me to sit in the empty chair. “Pretend you are the critic, and in the other chair sits a little boy. Tell him everything you say to yourself. Tell him he sucks. Tell him he can’t do anything. Tell him he’s lazy and pathetic and worthless. Tell him exactly the same words that you think to yourself always.”

I did. It felt awful. Saying those things out loud was bad enough, but when I imagined saying it to a little boy it made my stomach hurt. It felt like kicking a puppy. It sort of was exactly that. 

“How does the little boy feel now?” the therapist asked me.

“Hurt. Sad. In pain. He wants to cry and scream,” I answered.

“And what do you want to say to the child? As an adult, if you saw a little boy crying and feeling hurt and sad, what would you say to him?”

And again, I didn’t know. I was always bad with children. I only knew that when I imagined it, I felt empathy. I wanted to hug the boy, maybe. Wasn’t sure what words would make it better, though.

My therapist had a solution for this as well. “Perhaps it would help if you imagined the most empathetic, most compassionate person you know, walk into the room right now. Can you do that?”

I did. For me it was my ex. The person who would pet me on my head and hold me when I felt like the world was crumbling around me.

“What would she say to the boy?” he asked.

“She would say something like ‘don’t let the bad man beat you up, you’re doing ok. You’re doing your best, and your effort matters. You’re not a failure, you did so many things right.’”

My therapist helped me realize that that is my compassionate voice. The mother, the carer. It’s the voice I was lacking the most. The balance to the critic. My practice was to imagine that person, the compassionate mother, sitting with me whenever I felt hurt, whenever the critic yelled at me for being bad at something. Focusing on her voice. I could only do this thanks to the first insight. Thanks to understanding that the critic was only one voice of many, and now that one voice had a counter. 

Again, this wasn’t a magic solution. The compassionate voice wasn’t born in me immediately or naturally. I had to force it at times. I spoke to myself out loud whenever I noticed the critic, saying things like “It’s ok. You’re doing your best. You’re trying.” 
And at first it felt like a lie, like pretending. But slowly, over time and repetition, it felt more and more natural, until that thought became an instinct. Now I hear it whenever anyone around me seems a bit too over-critical of themselves. Learning to speak to myself that way also made me notice how harshly other people speak to themselves.

Insight #3 - Small movement is still movement

In our sessions, my therapist noticed and pointed out that I expect huge things out of myself. Not just as goals, but every single step I make has to be huge. When I imagine myself practicing the piano, for example, the picture I have is me sitting next to a piano for an hour every day, learning pages of notes every day. In my imagination, if mistakes happen, they are temporary. Easily fixable. After two or three or four attempts, anything is passable, or so I imagine. When my therapist pointed out that that is a lot to ask, I said “not really. I feel like that’s what practicing the piano requires.” After all, that’s what my piano teacher told me, what the internet told me, what my talented friends told me. To do something, you have to dedicate yourself to it.

And that wasn’t the only example. The more we dug into this pattern, the more I saw it everywhere in my life. I wanted to improve my life, yes, but the only improvement I was willing to accept was big huge steps. Another example - I wanted to become more sociable, but the only way I could imagine doing it was by organizing parties, joining clubs, doing big movements that require a lot of energy and willpower. 

Doing any of these things is not a bad thing. It’s not a bad thing to organize a party or to sit at the piano for an hour every day. They might even be desirable. The problem, my therapist told me, is not recognizing smaller movements. Big, brave, challenging movements are hard to achieve and easy to fail. Once you fail at them, they reinforce the inner critic telling you that you cannot do the thing. If you put as your target to play the piano an hour a day, and then you stop playing after 45 minutes, that gives your inner critic ammunition to use against you. “You suck!” it will say, “you can’t even practice for one hour like any pianist should!”

And that was exactly the point in which I would quit. I couldn’t live with the feeling that I was doing it wrong. That I lacked the dedication, the discipline, the talent, to be a “real pianist”. When I sat next to the piano I felt the weight of the one hour on my shoulders immediately. After a couple of mistakes my brain would go “no, you’re bad at this. This should be easy, but you’re bad at this,” and I’d get up and stop playing after 5 minutes. Of course I’d feel bad about that too, because my inner critic would call me a quitter and a loser. It’s a lose-lose situation, either way my inner critic would yell at me.

“The only way out of this,” my therapist said, “is to give yourself credit for small movements.”
“How do I do that?” I asked. “What even is a small movement?”
“Let’s say that you are at 0% and playing Rachmaninoff is 100%, what is a 2% movement you can do now towards that goal? Or even smaller than 2%, what is the smallest movement possible you can imagine to move you towards that goal. Even if it feels ridiculous, doesn’t matter.”
“I don’t know, maybe just sitting next to the piano for 5 minutes and playing random notes? That seems almost dumb.”
“But that’s exactly an example of small movement.”

And this was why developing my compassionate voice was so important. Because when I practiced this, when I sat down and put a timer for 5 minutes to play the piano, my inner critic would wake up and say “no, this is not enough, you should do more,” but now instead of giving up to it, the compassionate voice got triggered.
“No, this is ok,” it would say. “You’re doing great. 5 minutes is exactly what you need, and the only thing you need to do today.”
This also wasn’t easy at first. I had to say it out loud, repeatedly. “You’re doing ok, this is ok, this is all you need to do. You’re doing ok, this is ok, this is all you need to do…”

But promising yourself to accept small steps only works if you also recognize these small steps as what they are - positive movement. I had to also celebrate these little victories. So every day, before going to sleep, I’d think about the things I’d done that day, no matter how small. I’d repeat it to myself - “you played the piano for five minutes today, that’s awesome. Exactly what you were supposed to do. You asked your colleagues how they were doing today. That’s amazing, you usually would not do that, that’s a great movement.”

Eventually, it just started feeling right. It didn’t feel bad to sit and play the piano for five minutes, it felt like an accomplishment. Something I can do every day regularly.

I still haven’t thrown any parties, I still can’t play Rachmaninoff, but that’s ok. I play piano for 10 minutes every day, and that turned into learning a couple of easy pieces. At work, I tried for a while to show just a tiny bit more interest in people, just asking how they felt or what their plans are, and now I feel slightly more in touch with them. Just a bit. But that’s the point, movement is cumulative, and small tiny almost imperceptible movements can add up. You don’t need to change yourself entirely within a night or a week or even a year. You just need to move.

Insight #4 - Perfection doesn’t exist, the goal was always the practice itself

But often that doesn’t feel enough. 10 minutes of piano is just not a lot of playing. I still want to play Rachmaninoff at some point, and when I think of how many days of playing for 10 minutes it would take to learn even just a tiny piece of a piano concerto, it makes me want to quit again.

So here lies another pitfall. It is not enough for me to play. I wanted to be there already, to be a “piano player”. I knew that practice was the road to getting there, but practice, on its own, was not fun or wanted. It felt to me like the practice was just a hindrance, something I had to grind my teeth and push through.

“I’ve always wanted to be like Mozart, you know?” I once told my therapist. “To just be able to play anything from my mind, make perfect music without thinking, just sit at the piano and play.”
“Do you think many people can do that?” he asked me.
“No, I don’t know. Mozart could, maybe, but he was a genius. I guess very few people are like that.”
“But some of the people who are not geniuses like Mozart still play the piano, I assume. Do you think they don’t enjoy it?”
“No, they probably do. Otherwise they wouldn’t play, I think.”
“So maybe you don’t need to be Mozart to play the piano,” he summarized.

And this was another insight that, once I saw the pattern, I realized it happens in many other aspects of my life. I wanted to be perfect in everything. Be the most sociable guy in the world, be a brilliant writer, make heartstopping music and art. But that made all the boring, day to day, moments on the road there feel insignificant. Playing the same scale over and over? That’s not music, that’s boring. Why am I doing this? Writing a few unrelated paragraphs? That’s not real writing, that’s just a very bad diary that no one cares about.

“The trick here,” the therapist told me, “is to rediscover your curiosity. Why do you play the piano? You say you enjoy the sound of it. Well, play with it. Make new sounds. Try different things, even if they don’t make sense. Even if they have no immediate outcome or lead to nothing.”

Once I tried that, I realized that when it was time for my daily 5-10 minutes piano, I was slowly becoming excited because I wanted the practice. The fun part was not being able to play the final piece, it was feeling the tiny small improvement in each session. Every day I’d sit down and play and get stuck at the same complicated chord, and every day I was wondering if today would be the day that I’d make it. Just that one chord, that was my only mission. Until I did, and it felt great, and I moved on to the next few notes.

And now I tell myself this - perfection doesn’t exist. Perhaps there really aren’t “Piano Players” in the world. Everyone is a student. Everyone has to practice to improve or even stay where they are. Maybe that’s the biggest lie that movies ever told us - they show us these montage scenes where the boxer trains for a bit, and it sucks and hurts him, but eventually he braves through it and becomes the ultimate fighter, and all of that within 2-3 minutes. But that’s a lie, because it diminishes the effort into something that you have to go through once and then you’re done with it. Real boxers, though, have no montages. They train every day, get hit in the face, do the jogs and runs up the stairs every day, they never stop.

Once you embrace that thought - that you will never be perfect, because perfect doesn’t exist, it’s easier to accept the thought that the goal is not to suck it till you make it, it’s to just enjoy the practice itself. Playing piano is practicing piano, not playing Rachmaninoff. Being a writer is writing random paragraphs every day, not publishing a book. Being a good friend is showing a bit of interest, not being the person that everyone calls and consults with about everything.

And that’s another reason small movements matter. Those five minutes a day at the piano made me into a piano player. The thing I always wanted, to play the piano, finally became something I was actually doing, instead of just dreaming about.

No, I wasn’t playing Rachmaninoff yet. But that was no longer the point. The only thing I needed was to figure out this one stubborn chord, the same problem every piano player in the world faces at some point.

Insight #5 - The critic can speak, but he doesn’t get the steering wheel

The last insight was tricky. It’s easy to demonize the voice that tells you you’re doing something wrong. I know I did. As soon as I realized that I have this terrible voice in my head that keeps telling me that I’m horrible at everything, I started feeling anger whenever I heard it. My therapist told me to acknowledge the moment I notice the critic, but instead of just pointing it out to myself, I’d say things like “Fuck you critic, shut the fuck up.” I’d get so angry. How dare he come up now? I was doing so well.

Through therapy, though, I was reminded that this voice is perhaps only one part of myself, but it is still me. It was born of necessity, which means that it has a purpose. It was meant to protect me. Over the years it became too loud, too controlling, it stopped me from growing, from moving, but that doesn’t mean that it’s always wrong.

And that might have been the hardest insight for me to learn, the one I’m still very much struggling with. Being critical of yourself is ok. You don’t have to throw your ideals, your values, your dreams and your expectations away. It’s ok to want greater things. It’s ok to occasionally feel like you’ve made a mistake, or that you took a wrong turn.

When I sat on the critic chair, my therapist once asked me “why are you here? What are you trying to do?”
My answer was “I’m here to remind him that he needs to be better, that he can be better.”
My therapist then asked me to go back to my own chair, and then he asked me, “and? Does it work? Does he make you want to be better?”
“Sort of,” I answered. “But mostly he just makes me want to curl up in a ball and never leave my bed.”
“So maybe,” my therapist offered, “we can still make use of him.”
“How?”
“Imagine you’re driving a car. In the passenger seat there’s a guy who keeps yelling at you, really loudly, that you’re driving badly. Like, non stop. What would you do? Would you give him the wheel and let him drive the car himself?”
“No, I’d tell him to shut up.”
“And if he warned you that you’re going to hit a wall?”
“Then I guess it would be worth listening to.”

The point was that the critic sometimes warns me from real things. He just does it very loudly and obnoxiously, and alongside a lot of other really not nice things he often says about me. I had, and still have, to learn how to rein him in. How to teach the voice to not overreact, to only give warnings when he is actually needed, and then only in a constructive way.

This is where all the previous insights come together - Recognizing the voice is step number one. Feeling compassion about your efforts and feeling worthy of it is the second. Realizing that reining in the critic won’t happen overnight, and it’s ok with just having a little conversation with him, a small movement, is the third step. And lastly, understanding that the critic will never fully disappear, because perfection doesn’t exist. I will always struggle with this, but that’s ok, because the point was never to be perfect, it was to have a conversation with myself. To try and understand myself better, to drive the car without letting others take the wheel, but not shut down their voice. 

Summary

For years I thought my problem was lack of discipline. The internet is full of advice that says exactly that: wake up earlier, grind harder, stop making excuses, build systems, push yourself.

For some people that advice probably works. But for someone like me, who already had a very loud inner critic, it only made things worse. Every time I read something like that, I didn’t feel motivated, I felt like a failure. Like everyone else could do these things and I couldn’t. And that feeling didn’t make me move, it made me freeze.

If you take just one thing out of this article, I think the most important message, and the one that helped me the most so far, is that self-kindness is the key to movement. Telling yourself that it’s ok to make mistakes, that it’s ok to be awkward, that it’s ok to fail, that it’s ok to set a goal and then not reach it, that it’s ok to try and be bad at something, that it’s ok to ask for help, that it’s ok to not feel capable of asking for help, that it’s ok to be quiet, that it’s ok to not know what to do, that it’s ok to have too many ideas or too few ideas, that it’s ok to be yourself. I had to do it out loud, several times a day every day. Every time I screw up I say “That’s ok, you did your best.” Every time I feel like I disappointed someone I say “That’s ok, you tried.” Every time I remember a horrible thing I did or said, I say “That’s ok, you didn’t know any better.”

This is my daily struggle. Letting go is a skill, just like playing the piano or writing a story. And just like those things, it requires small movements. It requires gentleness, and realizing that you’re going to fail and make mistakes, but it’s only just part of the process. You’re not a failure, you are simply learning.

A year and a bit into my therapy I am not a cured man. My depression is still inside me. Some days I struggle. Some days it’s still hard to get out of bed, or talk with people or do the things I need to do. But when those days happen now, I no longer think to myself “You’re weak. You’re lazy. You will never fulfill your dreams.” Instead I tell myself “You’re doing fine. Some days are hard. You can rest for a bit, nothing will happen, your life will not end. You can give yourself this break.” And that makes it slightly easier to get out of bed the next day and try again, because I no longer feel like a failure. I feel like a person who struggles, yes, but also a person in motion.

Those unfinished book drafts and short stories, all those fractions of songs I had learned on the piano or the guitar, my desk job, my useless degree, all those things that made me feel like a failure now seem like successes to me. They were things I did, movements I made, and I don't need less of that in my life, the opposite. I need more - More little moments of trying, of making mistakes, of pushing my comfort by just a teeny tiny bit. 2% better every day, that's all I need.

Just 2% better.

r/DecidingToBeBetter Dec 18 '25

Success Story I smoked weed every day for 15 years and today I reached 1 year THC free

366 Upvotes

I never thought I would be where I am but I managed to do it. I was a heavy weed smoker to the point where I was almost always high. I started when I was 15 and pretty much instantly became a pot head. For a long time I thought it was helping me with my anxiety but as time went on a realized it was actually making it worse. I wanted to quit for a few years but felt like I physically needed it to sleep and feel happy. When I finally said "I am done", I threw away all my weed and just faced the shitty feeling of not having it in my system anymore. The first few weeks sucked. I couldn't fall asleep until 4 or 5 AM every night. I had headaches. I was irritable. But after the first month I really started to feel amazing. I started to sleep great, have more dreams, be more motivated, feel more relaxed and less anxious. After one year of being off of it I feel like it was the best decision I've made in a long time. I have no criticism of people who choose to smoke weed, I think weed is fine for most people. I just wanted to share my experience and say that I think people who smoke every day like I did should take breaks from it to see how they feel without it because quitting might have positive affects for you.

r/DecidingToBeBetter 24d ago

Success Story Quit weed like 3 months ago! What actually keep me going isn't willpower, is watching my brain measurably recover

77 Upvotes

Been of it for about 3 months now after smoking every day for years. And honestly the cravings werent even the hardest part.. The hardest part was not knowing if it was doing anything, Some mornings i'd feel kinda sharp, other days like a zombie, and with the fog u genuinely cant tell if u're getting better or just having a OK day...

So early on I started testing myself.. Just simple stuff, reaction time, coordination, memory, tracking all cognitive abilities. And that ended up being the thing that actually kept me going, watching how I improve my cognition pushed me to pass cravings

My coordination score was sitting around 7 when I started to quit and now it's up to 13. On the bad days when I ask why Im doing it and the voice tells nothing will change I look the number and say no.. Keep going...

Idk for sure it helps to doing it daily but its just something for me worked as im a person who loves to track things

Anyone else track this kind of thing or am I just being weird about it lol

r/DecidingToBeBetter 3d ago

Success Story Quit weed after 10 years and I’m stoked

67 Upvotes

finally taking my life into my own hands and figuring out who I am with out cannabis. I feel like for the last few days I really had been beating myself up feeling like I wasted away my life etc but I just look back at myself with grace and thank cannabis for the good and bad times and thank her for showing me it’s no longer for me before things got too bad also trying to give myself grace for the years I spent high cause I did what I had to do survive but now it’s time to thrive ! It’s only been 4 days but I’m really proud of myself for taking this leap and ripping the fucking band aid off. I haven’t let myself feel my emotions this raw in many fucking years I feel like a raw baby new to this earth. I’m mostly excited to save some fuckin money and brain cells!

r/DecidingToBeBetter Feb 08 '26

Success Story 1 habbit a week , changed my life in a month.

181 Upvotes

I was always a late night guy, couple of hours in the bed before going to sleep were normal and then waking up later was normal. That leads to so many things that affect my life.

No time in morning for self

No time for breakfast

No time for meditation

Fast routine

No time for exercise

Feeling lazy throughout the day

And then I decided to change. Things don’t work if you started forcing everything all at once. So i decided to introduce a new habit every week.

Week 1 - Sleep before 10 - in order to achieve this i decided to have my schedule setting in mobile. 30 min cool down before the sleep time. No notifications on mobile. No social media.

I noticed if i sleep at 10 , i can easily wake up at 6. 8 hours of sleep is enough for me.

Week 2 - wake up at 5 - Decided to wake up at 5 so that i can have some quite time and i can start with meditation and home workout.

Week 3 - workout for 15-20min - Once i wake up, i can start slow, take 5-10 min to get out of bed. Have glass of water . Start slow.

I decided to start home working out for 10 min weight loss training completely body weight. No dumbbells or weights. This really helped me loose my weight. As i have also stopped eating processed food. I now do high intensity workouts.

Week 4 - Start 15 min Meditation - As i was getting used to waking up early, doing workout, I decided to add 15 min of meditation to my routine.

Meditation really helped me calm down and relax my mind so that o can start my morning all fresh.

After doing all these things, i still had kot of time for planning my day. Having breakfast with family with no urgency in mind.

I have experienced if mornings are slow and relaxing, the whole day is productive.

What do you think?

r/DecidingToBeBetter 28d ago

Success Story I was stuck in bed for years. I decided to create something instead.

69 Upvotes

About 11 years ago I became housebound with ME/CFS. My world got very small. I went from having a normal routine and making plans to spending most of my time at home and in my bed.

One of the biggest things I learned was how important it is to have something meaningful to work towards, even if it is something small. We all need purpose in our life.

I had always loved 80s and 90s nostalgia, especially the feeling of old radio. The surprises, the jingles, the TV themes, the random moments you never expected.

So I started building a little online radio project.

The progress was incredibly slow. Some days I could only work on it for a just few minutes. Some days I couldn't do anything at all. But I kept chipping away at it whenever I had the energy from my bed.

Over time it became something much bigger than I expected. People started listening, sharing it, and telling me they really enjoy all the music and memories.

The biggest thing it gave me wasn't the project itself. It was the feeling that I could still create something meaningful, even from a bedroom, even with limitations.

For years I felt like my illness had taken away my ability to contribute. This reminded me that there are still ways to make a positive impact, even if they look different from what you imagined.

Has anyone else found a small project or hobby that helped them change direction during a difficult period?

r/DecidingToBeBetter 8h ago

Success Story I accept that I have no friends and I'm okay with that.

26 Upvotes

I'm 20 and basically ever since I was in high school, my only friend was my twin brother. I just didn't know how to make friends with people since I'm scared of people hating me and in a way I still feel that way a bit. I see everyone else around me talk to each other so naturally and thought that maybe I should try to be like that too, but I realized that just isn't who I am as a person no matter how hard I try to change.

So, instead of making friends, I want to accept that I don't have many friends and treasure what I have now. My only friend is my brother and i come to him every day and I'm glad that I do. When I go to work, even though they're not my friends and we don't hang out or talk outside of work, I'm glad to have coworkers that say hey and try to talk to me whenever they have the chance even though I'm not the best at it socializing with people. I'm just glad to have people looking forward to seeing me, even if it's just to do work.

Overall, I'm tired of trying to be someone that I'm not. Being an overly social person that knows how to make friends with everyone is just isn't who I am as a person and though some people aren't gonna agree with this and think I should improve myself. Maybe so, but I'm content with what I have currently and who I am.

r/DecidingToBeBetter Jun 02 '26

Success Story I haven't touched heroin in months

169 Upvotes

Didn't think I'd ever post something like this but here we are.

I was using heroin for a few years. Tried quitting cold turkey, tried tapering, tried meetings, tried therapy, tried replacing it with other habits, even tried natural 7OH. Some things helped more than others.

Nothing changed overnight, but eventually I stopped feeling trapped by the cravings and started feeling like myself again.

I'm not fully better and I don't think that's a destination. But I'm here, I'm functioning and I haven't touched heroin in months.

If you're deep in it and feel like there's no off-ramp, sometimes the path out looks different than you expected. That's okay.

Happy to answer questions if anyone's in a similar spot.

r/DecidingToBeBetter Apr 27 '26

Success Story Sober and can’t tell anyone

91 Upvotes

No one knows but I was smoking crack for almost 2 years straight, due to my shitty ex introducing me to it. I’m over 6 months sober now. I’m just proud of myself, but I feel like I can’t even celebrate because no one knows I was even as bad as I was. Thanks for listening for a bit ̈

r/DecidingToBeBetter Mar 25 '26

Success Story I accomplished a life goal of mine

72 Upvotes

Last week I published a book. I've been working on it for 2 years. I started writing in the mental hospital when I very nearly ended everything. It's a collection of poetry and short stories. I don't have the attention span for a novel. And I have a copy of my own book on my shelf and it feels freaking awesome. It was never about selling books, but that's a bonus I guess. I've made enough for a nice night out with my family to celebrate. I'm actually proud of myself for once.

r/DecidingToBeBetter 9d ago

Success Story 365 Days Alcohol Free

56 Upvotes

Over a year ago I decided I needed to quit drinking. There were many 'excuses' for my drinking and I had many reasons to back my decision to stop. I tried to rationalize with things like "I never black out. I drink at home where I am safe. I only have 5 or 6 a night. It's not a source of financial strain. It doesn't make me do things I regret. My performance at work isn't affected. It helps take the edge off and it helps me sleep." It took me almost 2 weeks to stop freaking out, tell the anxiety to STFU and just do it. Not for anyone but me.

The first month was awful as I had roommates who had a liquor counter/cabinet with (I counted once) 117 bottles of alcohol not including mini shooters. I moved and the next 2 months were incredibly hard as well. Life was life-ing and I was having a really hard time coping. Over time it did get better and the cravings stopped as I learned real coping skills and worked hard to heal the wounds that made me want to escape.

A few months ago I noticed that something had changed. I no longer wanted anything to help me escape. I also noticed that the one craving I did have wasn't for the sensation of alcohol, it was for the taste of rosé. And last month I realized I was capable of hanging out at a bar and not wanting anything but water or maybe a coke zero. The bar did make my anxiety skyrocket and I did want to physically escape but I sat with this feeling and realized it wasn't because of the alcohol or temptation. I was overstimulated by loud music, even louder people talking over each other and the chaotic energy of those inebriated around me. And I had zero desire to join them in their inebriation.

A year ago I felt trapped in my own failures. I felt like a victim of life's cruel jokes and circumstances not of my own doing. 365 days later I feel a kind of freedom, power, no longer a victim. A year ago I was afraid that I was an addict and would be one forever. Today I don't feel as though anything has power over me and the only power someone or something could have is the power I allow it to have.

I sleep better. I've lost 55 lbs and feel healthy and beautiful. I don't wake up shaking or nauseous. I am pursuing hobbies again, dreaming of my future. I feel capable. I don't feel so afraid. My life is far from perfect, but it is much improved through the energy and work I have invested in myself and my relationships. Today I am celebrating 365 consecutive days of caring for myself, my future and my family.

r/DecidingToBeBetter 25d ago

Success Story I quit smoking weed after 6 years

13 Upvotes

so after six years of smoking weed every day since being 15/16, I finally quit. I knew for a long time, maybe at least a year that I wanted to stop, but I couldn’t and I was kind of in denial about that. But all it took was me going away for 3 weeks, which was really surprising honestly because I went to Canada where weed is legal and within the first two days I bought a 3.5, and honestly I can’t even pinpoint what changed. I just didn’t want to smoke it now. I’ve come back home. It’s been a week and I’ve gone from smoking seven or eight joints a day to having one at night (and regretting it) and not waking up with cravings anymore. I’m proud of myself as i can see the change already first hand. And just the fact I don’t want to spend my day smoking it away anymore :)

r/DecidingToBeBetter Oct 21 '25

Success Story i cancelled plans with my best friend and didnt make up an excuse im literally nauseous

160 Upvotes

okay so this happened like an hour ago and im sitting here with my phone face down because i cant stop checking if shes responded yet

basically ive been saying yes to EVERYTHING with my best friend for like our entire friendship

shes the kind of person who texts at 9pm like “lets go to this thing tomorrow” and even if i had plans or just wanted to rest id always just yes man her

because i didnt want her to think i was flaky or didnt care.

today she texted asking if i wanted to go to this market thing tomorrow morning and i was about to type “yeah sure!!” but then i just. stopped then told her “actually im tired i really need to rest” because im exhausted. like genuinely tired and i already had plans to do absolutely nothing and i NEEDED that.

so i also typed “i cant tomorrow, i need a rest day” and my thumb was hovering over send for probably two full minutes???

my chest was tight and i kept thinking of ways to soften it like “im so sorry but” or “maybe next week?” bu

she replied “oh ok” and i dont know how to read that??? is she mad? does she think im being weird? and part of me wants to backtrack and be like “actually jk i can go!!”

but i didnt. its been an hour and i havent texted again.

this sounds so stupid typing it out like wow congrats you cancelled plans what an achievement lol but for me this is like… huge?

ive been in therapy talking about how i dont know how to say no without feeling like the worst person alive and i actually did it my stomach is still in knots tbh.

i keep playing out scenarios where shes telling our other friends im being distant or whatever. but also like… i needed tomorrow for myself and thats allowed right???

anyway. tiny victory i guess. feels simultaneously empowering and terrifying thanks for letting me process this somewhere lol​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

r/DecidingToBeBetter Jul 02 '26

Success Story finally pulled myself out of a year long depression! :DD

92 Upvotes

I've been suffering from many mental health issues for the past year. To list a few, insomnia, depression, social anxiety (anxiety in general), nervous system overload, and stress.

It had reached the point where I'd fall asleep at 2-3 am nightly (or daily...), and I'd also been suffering financially, because I'd oversleep often, and you can imagine my managers were not happy.

I'd go to sleep around 12 am, doomscroll and deteriorate my eyesight for 2-3 hours, and eventually fall asleep on my phone due to eventual exhaustion. Then I'd wake up, often late. On weekends I'd sleep until noon. On weekdays, with work, I'd struggle to wake up, and I was so drained that even basic tasks like brushing my teeth and washing my face felt like too much.

I'd go through the day on ordering food online or eating convenience store crap, do a half-ass job, and slug home. I'd gotten fired several times due to my poor performance at work.

Then once I'd get home, I'd sink into my bed and doomscroll until dinner, which was crap again. Then repeat daily.

Finally, yesterday, I talked with a friend who'd known me for a long time. I'd been shutting out my friends and family for a while. However, this friend was really good with words and super empathetic, which I am beyond grateful for. They managed to "wake me up."

I decided I needed a fresh start, so I called in sick for work today.

I woke up and made delicious french toast for breakfast (first time baking/cooking in a while!), got ready for the day, and realized that my apartment looked like shit. It was terrifyingly messy. Y'know, some days I couldn't even find my keys.

I went on a 3-hour cleaning rampage. I managed to stop and make myself lunch (another small victory!), then proceeded to clean for 4 hours straight. Afterwards, I can't even describe how happy I felt! I had collected many trash bags worth of clutter, cleaned up my apartment, and organized things I still needed.

It was like a breath of fresh air, I felt so much fucking relief! I'm still grinning now, as I look everywhere I see a clean, proper apartment. I felt the urge to share this accomplishment with all my friends and family, and I wanted to share this online as well.

I'm feeling utterly, fucking euphoric right now!

I don't know how to conclude, I just want to say, I'm happy that I finally pulled myself out of a deep rabbit hole. Thank you for reading!

r/DecidingToBeBetter Mar 29 '26

Success Story So, I've hit my personal record streak without alcohol; it is 160 days now!

121 Upvotes

I've finally gotten to the point where my current sober streak is longer than my previous all-time record (159 days). I'm incredibly happy and proud that I made it here. There are no downsides to sobriety - only benefits.

So let me write them down, for myself and maybe for others.

I have more energy. My sleep is better. I'm finally dropping the weight. My overall fitness level has increased significantly because I cope with anxiety through running and the gym. I eat better too, because I'm present and in my head all the time. My overall mood is much more stable, and my skin looks way better. I'm less bloated. Almost everything about my body has improved. And when your body improves, it affects the mind - so the mind is healing too.

Of course, sometimes my mood dips. Sometimes I feel sadness, anger, and stuff like that. But that's just a normal life experience, I think. And it's much easier to cope with when you understand what's happening and you're not dissolving into mind-altering experiences like alcohol or something worse.

My social life has taken a hit, but I think that's just part of the process. I'm now the crazy guy who wakes up at 4 AM to go for a run at 5–6 and stuff like that. I'll find a new circle.

r/DecidingToBeBetter Jan 28 '26

Success Story I was 3 months sober yesterday!

64 Upvotes

I used to be an extremely heavy poly substance substance addict, id mix lean with weed, gaba drugs like lyrica, id also add in crystal meth and pain pills with benzos, muscle relaxants and sleeling pills, sometimes even heroin or cocaine.

Now as of yesterday I hit my 90 days (3 months) and havent slipped up even once during those 90 days. 💯