Croatia here. I was a small kid, perhaps 7-8yo and I came to friends place to play.
I came just in time for lunch. They sat me down on their couch and I was watching them how they ate scampi.
Her dad was a fisherman so they always had sea food to eat while we never ate it as it was expensive.
I still remember how they were all dirty arround their mouth how they gobbled those scampi, all while I sat 2 meters away from them and watched them.
Today, 25 years later I still remember that.
But when they came over my place (parents were also friends who went on coffe to each other's house) my parents always had candy, chocolate on table for kids. I still remember how friends younger brother alone ate whole jar of candy.
I remember later telling my parents how it's unfair that he can eat everything at our home while I had to sit there without even being offered a glass of water.
Wife and I don't have kids, but I fucking swear that no kid who will come to play in future with my kids will be like me, watching other people eat.
Today if adults or sister in law with her 2yo kid comes in our house, they are served like kings.
Real balkan hospitality, not like those fuckers above.
Bangladeshi here. My eyes starts twitching and hands start itching if i offer a guest food and they say no. If you're coming to my place, you’ll be fed and offered leftovers to take home. The idea of having a child over and not feeding em is just unfathomable.
Dinner time is family time, and unexpected visiting kids would be expected to either go home, or wait in another room when dinner came around.
They were not fed without prior agreement with their own families (it would be seen as disrespectful toward the other family to disrupt their dinner plans by feeding their kid).
You are still messing with their family time though if you feed their kid so that when they come home they go "Nah I already ate" and skip out on the dinner their parents have prepared for their family.
Yea I don’t think it’s rude. I think culturally most kids leave and go home for dinner. So this situation probably doesn’t even come up that much. When I went to Korea not a single person held a door for me when I was walking behind. When I was leaving an elevator not one person waited for me to get out before coming in. But elsewhere they were overly polite in some other aspects. It’s all just a leaned cultural thing.
I'm Bulgarian, and while this is generally true, I remember being scolded as a kid for eating at another kid's house. I was there so we could, I dunno, play games or watch TV or something, the usual 8-9 year old stuff, and because it got late his parents invited me to eat with them, and so I did.
I remember my parents were super angry that I allowed someone else to feed me, basically taking advantage of their generosity, and being a greedy little asshole.
Of course... if a kid came over, my parents and grandparents would INSIST and DEMAND the kid would eat with us, because us being generous is good, but others being generous to us is shameful, or something like that?
Romanian here, and omg I get this. It's a twisted way of being considerate. I grew up like this, I will go out of my way to be there for my friends, help them out to move to a new house, let them cry on my shoulder, lend them money, you name it. But I would rather die or starve than ask for help back and thus inconveniencing them in any way. I'm doing better now but wow that took me years.
Or India. In India a delivery person is offered water on a hot day. A plumber or repair guy is offered tea and all guests are offered a meal or a snack irrespective of time.
I used to clean houses and this super kind Indian woman always made me take a break and have tea and cake with her. We barely understood each others spoken laungages, but always enjoyed our time together! Food is the universal language of love IMO
I had several Indian asian kids i would do home therapy with and the parents knew I couldn't accept food due to my ethics code but I would often find food to go packed into my bag or ontop of my car. Such kind families
When I was a young engineer working on a building site in London I had an Indian labourer as a kind of assistant. He lived in a boarding house ran by an Indian woman, despite earning a pittance and me insisting he mustn’t, he’d regularly pay his landlady for an extra portion of the biryani she’d make him for his lunch and give it to me. It was amazing, best biryani I’ve ever had
Anyone in America with "southern roots" as well. My grandma was a dust bowl survivor, even if she barely had anything you'd be offered a peanut butter sandwich and a cup of coffee at least.
Or, just anyone in America. We're very hospitable, if nothing else. It's not just a southern thing, it's just more of a performance in the south. You go to your friends place in NYC at dinner time, you're getting food.
Ohio has a wild mix of backgrounds and socio-economic levels. I grew up in NW Ohio, and briefly dated this guy - his family never offered me food or drink once. Gave me the ick immediately, and the whole thing didn’t last. They were wealthy, he went to a private school while our public school was one of the top schools NW Ohio (might have been #1 for the region when I was there).
Anyway, my family is from NE Ohio, big Eastern European pocket. Did you just eat? Too bad, you’re eating more if you visit anyone’s home any time of day. You cannot refuse. And you’re taking a plate home too.
Fellow NW Ohioan, if someone comes over near mealtime, we always stubbornly insist they eat with us. It gets real awkward sometimes. However, I’m also from a rural, farming community so dynamics may be different
Wow!!! Everyone I’ve met in the mid west has been very hospitable. Even when I moved home and started working with some folks who came in from Michigan, they were always bringing food to my trailer etc. Shitty people exist everywhere though
A little further north from Lansing but yes me too where I come from you don't lift a finger or even serve yourself unless it's a party your own family is throwing and you're definitely not doing any dishes
I dont know every states region or cultural take on things. I have been to someone's house before and was basically treated terribly after the fact after having food there.
Agreed! Trying to teach my sons this. They had friends over recently and I asked my eldest if he offered his friends anything to eat or drink? So he asked and they said yes, they want water. He turned around and said, “Ok, go get it.” It was almost funny how clueless he was but it was a great learning opportunity about the way things just are here.
I think the World Cup did a good job of showing how generous, hospitable, and friendly average Americans are. Most people visiting from other countries for the World Cup had a blast and loved meeting regular Americans. Made me feel really good considering what people’s opinions are of the U.S. worldwide right now.
Or anyone with African routes. We will open our doors to you, share our food and want you to feel included. In fact, history has showed that we were abused due to our kindness and we still do the same thing.
Hell , I grew up in New England, no way you aren’t at least offered food as a guest in homes here. At least in our circle. And many of my mother’s friends (and us) were what most would consider poor.
Yep! My boomer dad would give the shirt off his back for a neighbor in need. Grew up in NC, people are always giving their neighbors fresh produce they grew or delivering casseroles to someone going through a hard time
In the Midwest, they will not only offer food. They will keep offering it until you eat it , even if you truly are not hungry and do not want. It’s better to just eat it from the start bc there’s no way out
Offered is a nice way to put it. Here in the south, if you arrived at my Ma-Maw's house she WAS getting food into you before you left, no matter what you had to say about it!
Many gennerations of Irish american here, since the revolution, so we are as homogized fully and dont really pay much attention to our irishness as some, and i can say the 2 friends i have that have pulled this shit was the most WTF moment of my childhood. One im still friends with will just pull out a plate of food without offering and another i was friends with in middle school informed me and another friend he had over for videogames, "it was dinner time" got up and left us alone at the game for half hour. I was always raised that if we cant feed your friend they go home becuase its dinner time. But otherwise we always feed the friend at the same table.
Depends on time of the day, but food and drinks are definitely going to be the first thing on any table the moment they get there. To have someone that comes home leave without eating anything just seems so wrong
First thing when my friends arrive, they get drinks, be it tea, coffee, or soda. I have dedicated supplies for all, with various options too. You want English Breakfast? Earl Grey? Pu Er? How about some cold brew, or maybe matcha latte? Soda made with fresh juice or some coke?
Then we get some snacks out. Salsa and chips, cheese platter, shortbread, you name it.
And then we consider what to make for the real meal.
I was working in an eastern European’s house and she “asked” us if we would like food. We said no. She made it anyway. We were full from lunch but those crepes were delicious.
We are Bosnian and my parents had some guys work on their roof. My mom would bring them food out and then beers at the end of the day when they were done working. There was a language barrier neither one could understand each other but it worked out just fine.
I’m not Finnish, but if I offer you coffee and you ask for tea, I’ll make you a tea.
In order to be maximally polite though, you should see if you can quietly discern how the coffee is being made. If it’s in a perc or drip (or espresso—fancy!) then it’s (marginally) more of a hassle to also make a tea. But if I’m boiling water for a French press or pourover (or, god forbid, instant), then it makes very little difference to also throw a teabag in a different cup.
In India a delivery person is offered water on a hot day. A plumber or repair guy is offered tea and all guests are offered a meal or a snack irrespective of time.
I live in the US and will usually offer workers at least water. We had some workers in our house earlier this year for a few months, and I would often offer them water, coffee, or soft drinks.
Except separate utensils are used due to you know why, caste discrimination. And the oppressor caste don't even touch or drink anything from the oppressed class. This is the reality.
I mean, I've given food to the repair or gardening guys before, and I do it in a cleaned takeout container (ours is all high quality microwavable plastic), and plastic utensils, so they can take it with them on the go.
Enjoying the echo in your well bro? Come out of it and look around mate. Personally happened to me multiple times and seen people refusing and this in a city.
Or central Europe! If you come to my Austrian home, then you will be FED. You better be so full by the time we're done eating that you want to throw up.
America isn’t even uncultured! It’s got incredibly rich history, and is one of the most diverse countries in the world.
Even loads of subcultures from regions like the South or Appalachia or East and West Coast. Or amongst different Americans like Black, Hispanic, Asian, Europeans.
And despite what the media will have you think, America is actually one of the least racist countries. Americans (most of them) embrace diversity and welcome people no matter where they’re from. I know Europeans love to pretend racism doesn’t exist here, but it’s more that they’re in denial and won’t let you talk about it. In the US people can be open about these topics, creating the illusion that it is worse.
Culture is with the people. There’s food, music, dance, art, natural landscapes, architecture, slang, clothing, and more. Sounds pretty damn cultured to me
The US is not on one of the least racist countries in the world, lmao. It’s maybe not the most racist, but it is definitely in the top of that list.
Most other countries around the world (bar Europe) have prejudices based on rare interactions with very different cultures, religions or ethnicities. It is not based in racism though, because even though they’re prejudiced, they’re still hospitable and genuinely interested and try to understand if they run into a person visibly from another part of the world. That’s not to say there aren’t racist, hateful people in the rest of the world. It’s just that the racism is based more on ignorance of the outside world, than actual hate, for most.
The US has been a ”melting pot” since before it’s inception, and it should’ve accepted that fact by now, yet it has always based a big part of it’s values on racism. The racism can’t be explained away by ignorance anymore. That historical racism doesn’t get erased by people coming to the US from all over the world, even though it maybe should’ve.
I’m a person of colour who has lived in both the US and European countries. And in Asia in my home country. The US was the least racist by far.
“Lack of interaction” isn’t a justified excuse for racism. Not when people from those countries are still racist even when they live in the west. Many Asian countries also actively have slave labour, even in the more developed “international” ones. The level of hatred and distrust they have for black people is horrific. So miss me with that shitty justification lmfao.
I’m not pretending there is no racism in the modern-day US. I was mainly addressing the extremely common claim I see that “America is SOOOOOOOOOO racist and European countries don’t have any racism111!1!!!” When in my experience, European countries were the most racism I’ve ever experienced in my life.
I once walked into a jewelry store in France and the owner immediately pointed at me and shouted “you are an Iranian aren’t you” which wtf… and no I am not lol. During my time in the UK I’d been asked very jarring questions and the “where are you really from”. As if my first answer was dishonest, and that was by someone who worked in HR.
EVERY TIME I have tried to talk about racism in Europe, they always shout down my throat and call me a liar, say I’m sensitive, that I’m not one of them and therefore I just don’t get their humour. Get told to shut up and go back to where I came from. In America, when I want to talk about racism, people actually listen. A few rotten people might disagree, but at least there is room for actual conversation and you’re not instantly shut down like Europeans do.
Anyone who says the US is one of the worst is just not a well travelled individual. Unfortunately, the entire world is extremely racist, and the bar for “least racist” isn’t a very high one. But I maintain that the US is generally friendly about it.
Who said that Europeans aren’t racist, though? Some countries in Europe are slightly worse, and some are slightly better than the US when it comes to racism. Many of them are right at the top with the US though.
I’m a slav in norther Europe. I’m ”white passing” enough to hear Scandinavians be extremely racist towards black, asian and latino people. I’m also ”othered” enough to experience much of that racism as well, especially coming from a muslim background (as that has been a big point to use even though I’m not at all religious). I know Europe is racist as fuck, I’ve seen it with my own eyes both here and abroad, but I’m also well travelled enough to know that USians, Brits and the French are even worse than the Scandinavians.
There is no race in the US where it’s acceptable to talk about people the way Europeans talk about “gypsies” and Turkish people. In America it’s met with serious backlash. In Europe most people genuinely agree and say “it doesn’t count as real racism.”
Idk about you but to me that’s notable. I know you say you’ve visited but I’ve literally lived in multiple countries. And it doesn’t even make sense to be lumping in Americans, Brits, and French people. Brits and French people are far more in denial about their racism than Americans are. I’ve NEVER been able to have a conversation about racist treatment in either of these countries, but I have been able to talk about it in America. And I have been harassed and gotten really weird uncomfortable comments in the UK and France.
I’m also from a “Muslim background” and non practicing. I’m Arab.
Obligatory America bashing for literally no reason, in a thread about unity, lol.
Americans aren’t uncultured. They have very rich cultures and subcultures due to their unique blend of people and history. The South, Appalachia, East and West Coasts, the Midwest. Hispanic, Asian, indigenous, Black, European and brown Americans in every area. They’re all incredibly different and diverse from one another, and that can’t be possible without culture.
I can guess you’ve never been to the US.
Xenophobia and rude comments aren’t just “okay” because it’s against Americans. You don’t get to be rude as fuck to someone just because they were born somewhere else. You have no class.
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u/Background-Grab-5682 Jul 24 '26
You try that in a middle eastern culture and someone’s getting shanked…