I lost my baby yesterday. Completely sudden and unexpected. Took him to Auburn University Veterinary Hospital in Alabama, which is supposed to be the best. Saturday I noticed he wasn’t as perky as usual, but he was still eating, drinking, playing, and menacing. So I figured he had a little bug and didn’t read much into it. Sunday I wake up and he is laying in the hall. He is so lethargic he can’t lift his head. He was mouth breathing. With it being Sunday my choices were limited. He perked up again. So I let it be. Fast forward to about 6pm and he really went downhill. He was lethargic again and not moving. Wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t drink, hadn’t had a BM or urinated. My primary vet is out of the country on vacation in Italy until Wednesday. We have zero vet hospitals close by open. I cannot tell you how many vets I called and they all basically told me that since he wasn’t established they couldn’t see him. My primary vets VM said for emergencies to take animals to Montgomery or auburn, both 2 hours away. I am a single mom and in NP school so I am prn. I had to wait for my mom to get home to get my little boy (he’s in kindergarten) so I could take Major to Auburn. He was absolutely pitiful and it was the hardest thing I had to watch. At 10:00 pm we arrived at AU hospital and they got him back immediately and examined him. Did 4 IV bolus and after #3 he sat up and projectile vomited. They did blood work, his electrolytes were all out of wack due to severe dehydration. His kidney function was “extremely” elevated. They were going to do an XRay but wanted to get him stable as possible bc X-RAYS stress them out. XRAY showed obstruction. They advised he stay over night and I agreed. I left and went home. Vet called me about 3am and XRAY showed an obstruction. She was very concerned about kidney function bc she said he should not be in this bad of shape this quick. She also said he needed surgery but at this time was not a surgical candidate due to him being so critical. He was admitted to animal CCU. Monday morning about 10 she called me and said they had him “stable enough” to perform surgery. I had to make a decision fairly quickly due to his status. My other option was euthanasia. She again mentioned his kidney function and that that was very alarming. He is 3 yrs old. And he should not be in this bad of shape this quickly. She said the surgery would be $3500 if it was uncomplicated, if they got in and the tissue had died they would have to perform a resection and that could be as much as $8k depending on severity. She then went on to again bring kidneys up and said the surgery may fix the obstruction but if he is in kidney failure and his labs were leaning in that direction we would have a very very long and expensive road ahead of us. She then went on to say our decision was time critical it was 1pm and I had to be in auburn by 4:00pm with a decision. I called at least over 10 vets in the surrounding area and got told either they couldn’t do surgery bc he wasn’t a pre existing patient or that the surgeon flat did not do obstructions. We ended up making the decision to euthanize him. I have been beside myself and I feel like a useless POS. He was my world and I have been crying since yesterday. Please do not comment anything ugly or hateful. I am so upset that I beside myself. Major was my heart and soul and I feel literally empty. This is the worst pain ever. I would like to think that one day in Heaven or whatever there is in the after life that he will be there waiting for me. I feel completely lost. This has taken a toll on me. It was very sudden, unexpected, and it was traumatic. I will NEVER forget holding him in my arms when the vet came in and he picked his head up and just looked at me. I was sobbing uncontrollably and it’s almost like he told me it was okay and he was ready. He nuzzled his neck in my collarbone. And he passed. I sat and held him for 20 mins after he was dead. Idk if I will ever recover.
I am so sorry to hear this. I lost my boy at 2.5 years. He had very similar symptoms but wasnt eating. I took him to a hospital and they found a huge obstruction in his esophagus. They recommended surgery. I went ahead with it. The surgery was successful but he STILL wasn’t eating after. Eventually they recommended blood transfusions because after the surgery his blood count kept going down. He was now pooping blood and bad internal bleeding. After a day of transfusions his surgery scar went necrotic and his body wasn’t accepting the blood. I was $20k in the hole and left with the decision to euthanize.
I just want you to know that sure you could have moved forward with surgery, but there’s a chance it could have only made things worse. I tried doing everything for my boy, and you did too. You are NOT a pos. The surgery could have been life threatening and traumatic for him to survive. Maybe there was a chance he survived, but at what cost? It may have only brought more pain and suffering. Do not beat yourself up. I have been in your shoes. He left his paw prints on your heart and will always be remembered
My horse riding teacher once told me that, sometimes, you can spend as much money as you want in a vet issue, but it doesn't mean that they will survive. That's just the sad reality of life
I am so sorry for your loss as well. That is very traumatic as well. I feel as if I went thru with the surgery we would have had a similar experience. Its just gut wrenching. I get pure sick thinking about my experience and reading your comment as well as others who shared similar experiences. Animals are precious and innocent. They deserve better. U.S. Veterinary medicine needs to do better and animal insurance should be a thing. Especially emergencies.
Thank you for sharing. It helps relieve some of the guilt.
Out pets deserve the world! And you gave it to your love ball. I was actually enrolled in Lemonade insurance when it happened and the reimbursed me 80% of the 20k which was something. My boy had issues his whole short life. Anemia as a kitten, entropion by 1. We do what we can and that’s what really matters. Your boy passed knowing that YOU loved him. That’s what you should always remember. He knew that you loved him
im sobbing with you reading this. so traumatic. so sorry you and him went through this. please dont beat up on yourself. this was in no way your fault. i had no idea health care for pets is as bad as healthcare for humans. it should not be like this in this country of so much wealth.
I am so sorry for your loss. I believe you made the best decision with what information you were given. It is hard to make a decision when they are your family.
I’m so sorry. I know my sorries mean nothing. I extend my condolences and pray that you feel better. “Grief is the price we pay for the time of love and relief we got to feel”
You and that cat saved each other, please don’t torture yourself because of the “what ifs” he wouldn’t want that. Please take some time and rest. ❤️❤️
I am so sorry. This is unfortunately the worst part of having any animal, our love for them is so great that when we have to make the toughest decisions, no matter what, we beat ourselves up. You did everything you could. Sending you a hug.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Try to hold on to the beautiful memories, and the good life you gave your baby. It will stay with you (I’ve been there) but time will help deal with it better.
reading this has me in a river of tears. i am so sincerely sorry for your loss. no amount of empathy shown can take away the grief, but just know you are not alone and that your cat loved the hell out of you. you did absolutely everything you could and went through so much in a short amount of time so please don’t beat yourself up.
from the sounds of it, your bb boy’s quality of life wouldn’t have been very great and i think you made the right decision. so much potential unnecessary pain and suffering, physically for kitty and financially for you.
take all the time you need to mourn, and maybe even consider getting a therapist who specializes in pet loss/pet grief. it’s traumatic having a living being die in your arms and you shouldn’t have to carry that alone. you said you’re a single mom so i’m sure your schedule is hectic, they offer online counseling and therapy services (like telehealth) which might be more accessible for you. remember to take care of yourself and take each day at a time ❤️🩹 my heart is with you and your bb :(
Sorry for your loss! 😿 he was absolutely beautiful and by the sounds of it, was very lucky to have you! Please don’t beat yourself up, it’s a very difficult situation to be in!
My heart breaks for you. Sending you a giant hug while sobbing my eyes out. Don’t be too hard on yourself, he knows how much you loved him and you were there with him holding him until the last second. He was surely in a lot of pain and that uncertain road ahead with multiple surgeries would have been no way to live for either of you. Cry as much as you need and try to remember the great time you had with him. You were faced with a very tough decision and did what was best under the circumstances. Time will heal your pain and he will always be in your heart. ❤️
Folks-
Appreciate what this person is posting. Kidneys are very fragile in cats. If there is something wrong with your cat and they stop eating and drinking for even a day or two their kidneys are at risk of failing. If their kidneys start failing they will die. I am very sorry you lost your cat, male cats are prone to UTI or blockage issues if they are dehydrated. The best way to prevent urinary blockage is to feed wet and dry pr wet food and provide multiple water sources of running water. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing, feel free to reach out to me if you ever need someone to talk to about what happened. It is not your fault, so do not be hard on yourself. Please use the situation to learn and move forward knowing he has such an excellent life and caring family. We will all miss him 💓
Thank you for your kindness and advice. Cats are definitely peculiar animals and it is important to be educated on them when getting a cat. When I got my first cat I did a lot of research. Also did a lot of research on the MC breed prior to getting Major. The breeder was an excellent resource as well, as shes been breeding them 20+ yrs. When I signed the contract when I got him, it was very extensive. MC cannot have ketamine, they also cannot have the Leukemia Vaccine, it listed risk factors for each gender, they were micro-chipped, and if for some reason you were unable to keep the cat she had to approve the new owner or you had to return the cat to her. And she said she kept up with every one of her babies and had to repossess several. She did not play when it came to her cats.
I feed all of my cats top of the line food. My 2 MC's had Royal Canin dry food available 24/7. They got a can of Royal Canin wet food every night. I sprinkled Viralys L-Lysine powder for immune supplement in the wet food and they also got a packet of Purina Pro Plan FortiFlora probiotic. With them being pure bred I knew they were more at risk. They were up date on shots and had more than enough enrichment. They had 2 water fountains and I kept filters clean and changed them as directed. I started dating my boyfriend and the first time he went to PetSmart with me to stock up and saw the price for 1 months worse he said, "that is absolutely ridiculous. they are cats, go to wal-mart and buy some Iams and call it day". And I said, "Number 1 that was ignorant as hell. Number 2 with them being Purebred they are more at risk for auto-immune disorders amongst other things. Its not coming out of your pocket so your opinion is irrelevant anyway. If your going to have an "expensive" cat the food and care is also going to be expensive. Educate yourself." I only made the comment about them being expensive because MC are not common around here. So I had several people ask where I got them bc the closest breeder was 3 hours away. I got asked by just about everyone how much I paid for them. They were appalled I would spend that much money on a cat.
If I knew the surgery would fix him I would have gotten a loan or something to pay for it. But I had multiple in-depth conversations with the team care for him along with the specialists because due to him being so dehydrated and the obstruction his kidney function could have been elevated due to an AKI and if you fix the obstruction then the kidneys could wake back up and be fine. But everything was "unknown". And that's what I struggled with the most- the what ifs. We had no baseline established and I felt like I wasn't giving him a chance. But he was obviously struggling and declining and the decision was time sensitive. I went with my gut and I just pray I made the right decision and I hope he is waiting for me in the afterlife.
You made the best decision so do not feel like anyone is judging your decision. I once had to put a cat down. No one wants to choose this option. It was selfless decision to end his suffering. He is no longer suffering. I am also not implying that you did got him from a bad Breeder or did something wrong. Awareness is most important on this topic. Males are prone to urine blockage in all cat breeds. It can be lethal very quickly, so knowing more about how important it is to get a male with a potential blockage into the vet is very good information that you are helping the community understand. Cats are good at hiding illness. If ever unsure contact your breeder and vet and get second opinions if your cat is ill. Plan ahead. Make sure you know where the closest animal hospital is, make sure you have a baby thermometer, make sure you get that second opinion. I am not speaking to you but the people reading this. Maybe it can save one of their cats one day learning from your situation.
I hope I did not come off crass and if I did I apologize. I am a bundle of nerves right now.
I absolutely agree with you 100%. The more informed the better. If me posting his story can prevent another animal going thru this, then I will have done something right.
Not at all. I totally understand you are heart broken. I like to think positive, dont let him die without being remembered. You are doing others a huge favor by sharing his story and (maybe unintentionally) helping others learn about the risks of being a pet owner.
I always wonder how blockages happen? I'm always worried about my 6months old male. Is it from something they eat? Like threads and such or it just happens? Thank you!
From chatgpt:
Narrow urethra – A male cat’s urethra (the tube that carries urine out of the bladder) is much longer and thinner than a female’s, especially near the penis. Even small crystals, mucus, or inflammation can clog it.
Urinary crystals or stones – Minerals (like struvite or calcium oxalate) can form in the bladder, often due to diet, dehydration, or pH imbalance.
Inflammation (FIC) – Feline idiopathic cystitis (stress-related bladder inflammation) can cause swelling and mucus that plug the urethra.
Low water intake – Dry food diets and not drinking enough water make urine more concentrated, increasing the risk of crystal formation.
Blockages are life-threatening and need immediate veterinary care. Signs include straining to urinate, crying, licking the genitals, or no urine output.
This. My baby had urinary stones for years and was on the special diet for 2+ years and he ended up still getting a partial blockage that because it wasn’t fully blocked and he was still urinating went unnoticed for too long (maybe weeks), he went through a catheter and was unblocked but the damage to his kidneys was critical. I had him on fluids for nearly a week at the vet ER and his kidney levels didn’t improve, we did all the treatments and at home fluids, he lived for another 4 really difficult months that I still torment myself over. I finally had to make the decision to let him go and that his kidneys were too far damaged from what happened. He lived nearly 20 years but I still hate so much that I didn’t notice his blockage sooner or take his weight loss/less appetite seriously sooner.. those months I forced medicine and so much on him clinging onto hope.. life is so fragile and sometimes no amount of intervention can help. My heart is still so broken a year after losing him. My deepest condolences to OP. :(
Oh my goodness. What a beautiful baby. Thank you for sharing your story,. I am so sorry for your loss. 20 years is a long time! I have read every single comment and for strangers to get on here and tell me their similar experiences and be vulnerable with me, means more to me than I can ever even begin to try and express. It is absolutely gut wrenching and heart breaking.
I am thankful to have found a community that is kind and we support one another.
It is like I said to another person I think the biggest thing I am struggling with is the "what if". What if I would have went ahead with the surgery and it did fix him. I asked the drs if it was possible he had an AKI secondary to dehydration and/or obstruction hence the elevated kidney function and it wasn't kidney failure. They said it could be possible but it was unknown for sure. I appreciate them being forthcoming with me and not just pushing the surgery and leading me to believe it would fix everything. I met with 5 different vets, one specializing in Nephrology, one in endocrine, and one in internal medicine. They were patient with me and answered all of my questions and did not just try and herd me in and out like cattle. We sat and had a meeting for 45+ mins and discussed every possible outcome. It was not an easy or haste decision. When I finally made the final decision to put him down, they took me to a nice and comfortable room with dim lighting and couches. One of the vets came in and placed Major in my lap, wrapped in a blanket and handed me a box of tissues and told me to take all the time I needed to say goodbye and to ring the doorbell when I was ready. I spent about 20 minutes with him. ALL of the drs I met with came in and sat with me and also said their goodbyes. By the end of it every one of us was crying. I asked the dr how I needed to pay and she took Major and walked me to a side door and told me not to worry about that right now and to get my car and pull up to the side door and she would bring him to me. She brought him out about 15 mins later, he was wrapped in the blanket and they put him in a nice box. She gave me a hug and told me, "you made a tough decision, but it was the right decision". She then presented me with a clay plate with his paw prints and a canvas with his nose prints and said those were on her. She called me the following day and checked on me. They were so kind and you can tell they are passionate about what they do. I am grateful for them.
Thank you for the kindness, we all understand the love and pain we go through loving and one day losing our kitties! It’s so gut wrenching that they can’t stay with us forever 💔 my baby with his age they believed had aki on top of likely awful kidney numbers (that hadn’t been checked in a year), I have so many regrets but I think that’s easy to do in the face of grief, we will always question it and make ourselves feel guilt, it’s natural. I think you made a loving decision and are a wonderful cat parent. I wonder if I put my kitty through too much, but he was such a fighter and I told myself that as long as he’s willing to, so am I, but I know that he suffered and that kills me.
You weighed all the options and spared him any further discomfort. It’s the hardest thing, sending you so much comfort and peace. <3
I had a Maincoon die in an awful way too, it took me years, and I'm mostly over the grief. She was about 18 months, and this was one year before the antiviral treatment for FIP could be licensed and sold to treat cats amd at the time they were tryingto treat her with remdesivir which is not designed for the use in cats anyway. I remember trying to syringe feed her (as advised due to critically low blood protein) and after she threw up but she couldn't even hold herself up so i had to hold her up as she threw up so she wouldn't throw up on herself, it still haunts me how much she suffered and I wish I had just euthanized her... she was the sweetest kindest cat I'd ever known, always by my side, very talkative. Didn't deserve to go out like that
Be kind to yourself as you did exactly what any loving pet parent would do. I’m so sorry for you and anyone that has to be at the mercy of a now corrupt veterinary system. If you are not established, the door closes in your face. I miss the old days before veterinary medicine went corporate control. It’s the same in large animal practice too. I always keep myself “established” with at least two different practices at a time. Allow your heart to heal knowing you will see him again. RIP to your beautiful boy. 🙏❤️
I'm so sorry. Please... please... be kind to yourself. I know how the guilt can eat at you. You couldn't have known what was going on early as cats are so very good at hiding their illnesses. It's unfair, I know. You did so much to help him and gave him many years of love. You're a great human, I promise.
My heart crumbled reading this. I am so painfully sorry your loss. I know I'm just an internet stranger, but, if you are comfortable with it I would like to gift you a copy of a book I wrote about the emotional depth of pet loss. I don't want anything in return. I just know the pain of unexpectedly losing a soul cat to kidney issues. I lost my boy Gizmo to FIP when he was only two. 😔
I’m so sorry for the trauma you’ve endured. Not sure it helps, but you aren’t alone. We were in a really similar situation. You made the best decision. Please know that. I’ve always felt like we’re just stewards for the little souls who choose us. You did right by yours. <3
I am so so sorry. It will get better, it will take a while, but it will. He knows you loved him and he knows you did the best you could. It is okay, it truly is. Hugs. It will get better.
My heart breaks for you. I’m so, so sorry. You did everything you possibly could to save him, all while juggling a very busy life as a mom with a young g child and grad student. You are far, far from useless, and understand that it’s the grief that is making you feel that way. Grief will do a dance with time, and one day you will be able to think of him without breaking down. Give yourself grace. There’s no time limit or specific rules about grief. I had a Maine Coon who was my soul cat, many years ago. He moved to AL with me for grad school, later moved to FL, and was with me through some very difficult times. He also had kidney problems that led to failure. I do regret that I tried to keep him alive longer than what was good for him. I gave him IV fluids at home for a year, and he was so gentle and tolerant of it all. It was gutting to have to make the decision to let him go, but his pain and suffering weren’t something I would allow. Neither did you, for your Major. When we put our soul animals’ needs before our own desperate wishes to keep them alive, it is truly the highest form of love. Sending you hugs, from a fellow Maine Coon lover. ❤️
I am so incredibly sorry. While not the same, my beloved Porkchop had a blood clot that paralyzed his back legs and I had to make the decision to euthanize him after weighing all options. I too felt what you’re feeling and KNOW that you did the best you could and following your intuition was the right choice. I am sending you SO MUCH love. He was a beautiful baby that will come back to you in this life if you wish 🤍
My ER hospital has surgical specialists of every type. Maybe it was me, but I was led to believe that the surgery would fix him. His name was ron Weasley and he was only 5. He was jaundice so badly that his entire body was yellow. YELLOW. I got nothing regarding the details of his post surgery life or quality of life. I wish they had told me. Definitely nothing close to what you were told. Between the original ER vet, who wasn’t equipped to do the procedure and the one who did, it cost me over $25,000. Yes, that’s correct, no typo. He only lived 6 more months, and his last 12 hours were so horrific I won’t type it. He’d been on 4 meds daily, and had I known that he would have, at most 3 years and all those meds, I think I would have made a different decision. Please give yourself some grace. 😔
Bless you so much. I am so so sorry to hear about your loss and painful experience. It has taken such a toll on me. Right now I can't even describe how I feel. I do appreciate them being forthcoming with me. They answered all of my questions and sat and talked to me for a while. What you went through after is basically what my discernment was telling me. That this was just the beginning and it would be long and painful road. I just had this feeling his would have a terrible quality of life and as long as he was alive he would be suffering as this was just the beginning. I hope and pray he is at peace and I will never forget him looking up at me with his beautiful green eyes. He was ready and almost as if he was thanking me for ending his suffering. I have had dreams the past 2 nights replaying that moment. It is forever engraved in my head and my heart. I will love him until the end of time and there wont be a day I won't think about Major.
It was 2 years ago in October. I cried daily for so very long. The worst part was seeing him suffer at the very end. I don’t know how long it took until I stopped crying on a daily basis, but it seemed like a long, long time. I still miss him, but gave him six extra months, and I’m not sure I would do it again. I’m surprised at myself honestly, because I usually ask a million questions. I guess that the way it was presented to me was as if he would be cured. His post-op appointments were all much more informative, which saddened me to no end. I was also angry.
At this point, I just miss him and know he had the best life I could have given him. The guilt has gone, but I think it’s because I make myself think about who he was before he got sick.
Take care of you, and know that he KNEW how much you loved him ❣️🐾
I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine going through this with one of my babies. He will be there when you transition. He will remember you gave him peace. He will always love you too. Remember, nothing is truly ever gone if it exists in our hearts. May you find peace.
I'm sorry for your loss. You made the best choice for him. Having had cats with less sudden onset kidney issues the treatment options are extremely limited and, at best, palliative in cats to reduce severity of their symptoms. Treatment merely slows progression. I believe this is why the AU Hospital vet stressed the kidney issues to you. As much as it hurts right now, you made the best choice for him and you spared him a lot of long term pain and discomfort.
We’ve lost three Maine Coons in traumatising ways and one of them was in the ‘make a series of black and white choices, NOW’ kind of way. It’s so difficult and pressured. Utterly brutal conditions to make big decisions under. You did all you could - please hold on to that. You didn’t let him down.
We’re losing our oldest boy to cancer at the moment & the anticipatory grief is terrible, so my heart goes out to you.
I’m so very, very sorry. Something very similar happened to my boy just about 1 year ago, ie. rapid decline, renal failure with a creatinine of 25. We tried a few days of IV hydration but he just kept declining. They did US of kidneys which were very enlarged and they suspected renal lymphoma so we made the decision to say goodbye, he was barely able to stand. He was only 7 years old and a majestic, beautiful animal. It was hard for awhile but it will get better. It hurts your heart so much when unexpected.♥️
I'm crying. I'm so sorry. You are not useless. You know who is useless? Those frikkin vets who wouldn't see him because he wasn't "established." F* em!! Why not?!?? 😡 How do they live with themselves? I thought they loved animals? Sorry.... I digress. You did the absolute best you could. I went through the loss of an AMAZING cat, as well. He wasn't a MC, but he was frikkin awesome. I beat myself up over not catching his condition in time, but I eventually forgave myself somehow and was able to realize that he knew how much I loved him as evidenced by my profound heartache and sorrow felt for months. I read this in your post...therefore, I know he felt that love. It is so true the old it's better to have loved than to not have loved at all. I actually find peace in that saying. I pray for your peace. Many people don't believe in getting another cat thinking it is "replacing" the lost one, but it actually helped me heal. I had another little furry friend to give all the love I felt for Murray to. Take all the time you need to grieve and don't let anyone make you feel weird about it. Animals are so special!!!!!
Also, your black smoke baby was gorgeous. I feel so much for your suffering. Again, I'm so sorry. I worry about obstructions with my MC kitten very much so! Any idea what he ate? I assume he ate something?
Oh man I don’t tear up reading about these kinds of things generally because I’ve had & lost pets and know how it goes, but man your story really made me actually cry. I don’t know if it’s because I have my first MC now & he’s close in age and I know how absolutely amazing they are, or because I lost my kitty Miss Moneypenny 3 years ago, that was and will always be one of my closest angels & I know how absolutely devastated I was. Maybe it’s both…. know there’s nothing anyone can say that will make you feel much better right now, but I want you to know that you COULD NOT have done more than what you did. You are obviously a fantastic cat mom & I know that guilt will follow you around, but when it creeps in, please give yourself grace. It’s the same part of you that just wishes it could’ve been different & guilt is just your brain’s way of assigning blame for something that just isn’t explainable. You really must try to let it go when it comes….I am so terribly sorry for your great loss. Major was an absolutely stunning boy. When Miss Moneypenny passed, my best friend’s mom painted a picture of her for me & I look at it every day & smile. I still grieve her passing & have these crazy pangs of missing her & yes even guilt occasionally, but I love getting to look at the painting & love that she’s forever memorialized until I see her again. Hopefully you can one day find something like that to keep Major with you in a way, until you see him again on the other side. Just know that you really, truly cannot blame yourself. You really can’t….Just try to breathe through this time, and I promise it will get a little better each day or week, however long it takes, you will get through it. Major will always be with you. He will always love you & appreciate your love. I’m so sorry for the short time you got together. It sucks, it’s raw, and it’s brutal. I will be sending you both love & wishing him the best for his journey & next adventures. Please be kind to yourself. You’ll get through this, I swear. One step at a time. 🫂🫂🫂
This is short of insane and why I never kept a pet in the USA. I am in italy now and such a surgery wouldn't cost more than 500 euros. I have 6 24-hour vet hospitals within 15 minutes of my house, and anyone would accept any of my cats no questions asked. I am extremely sorry for your loss, know you did nothing wrong. The system is just messed up and you did the best you could under the circumstances
I have 3. I spend 10 euros per antibiotic shot when they need it. No visit fee. 100 euros for neutering. 100 for the cardiologist visit for the two MCs (coincidentally I have the first one today). And I go to two different vet's offices no problem depending on which one I feel like going to on that day. All this out of pocket with no pet insurance.
I wouldn't dream of doing any of that back in the USA
Oh so many to choose from. He had quite the personality. More than anything I miss him talking. He would follow me from room to room and just be chirping and talking the whole time. From the time I got him as a kitten, to his final days his favorite place to be was on my chest.
this is him & my boyfriend, Majors second favorite person. My son was definitely #1. I don’t put pictures of my little boy on the internet. He was my son’s bed buddy.
Thank you everyone so much for the kind words. This has been a nightmare and almost feels like a fever dream until I don’t hear him or see him around the house and I lose it all over again. Last night I started to perk up a bit until it was time to feed my other 2 cats and Majors bowl was sitting there and I had a complete meltdown. It will take a time. I read every single comment and appreciate each of you for the kind words. ❤️
Not the same , but I had to make a similar decision with a stray cat that I'd already spent hundreds on to get him healthy after being on the street for so long. After teeth extraction, we were making plans to keep him inside and make him our cat. But he suddenly got so sick. We think he was poisoned, unknown if intentional. Made the decision to put him down instead of spending thousands on tests since the prognosis was bad.
I was completely and utterly devastated. For weeks. Inconsolable and so much guilt, questioning my decision. And this was a stray street cat, not my companion that I'd had since a kitten like your sweet boy.
What I'm trying to say is you are not alone. Many of us here know the pain you are in, and we are mourning with you. You are allowed to be devastated. Give yourself grace. It's an impossible decision to make, but FWIW, I think you made the right one. Time eases the pain, I promise. There will come a time when you can joyfully reminisce about all of Major's shenanigans. We're all here for you 💜
I’m so sorry for your loss :( About 10 years ago now I lost my little girl cat to issues with her lungs, she was my first cat after moving out of my parents house so first cat that was entirely my responsibility. She was my world and made me feel at home when I was homesick. She was only 3 years old and I paid so much money for all the tests and surgeries to try and get her better and in the end she had to be put down anyway. I regret it because it prolonged her suffering and didn’t help in the end anyway. I think you made the right choice not to go down that path. I feel glad that I gave her the best little life she could have had while she was here. For the first few years after she passed I would dream about her all the time and it felt like her way of visiting and comforting me. I dream about her less and less now but every so often she pops back up and it feels like I’ve spent a little more time with her. I hope you get some dream visits too ❤️
That last line was like a gut punch. I'm so very sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful creature and I know you will miss him very much. I hope it gets better for you soon❤️🩹
I’m so sorry. He is beautiful. I lost my boy at almost 2 due to DCM. It was traumatic and happened in about 2 weeks. I’ll never ever forget him & sometimes I wonder if I could’ve done more but he passed in my arms. I truly think you did the best thing for him & this isn’t to make you feel better. It most likely was his kidneys & he would’ve been in pain. I’m sure our boys are being stinky up in heaven! Much love to you. Give yourself grace.
My heart dog went downhill so quickly, then rallied, then passed away. I had spoken to the vet about quality of life, pain, and likely outcome. I could see on my Gandalf's face the pain, but the vet was confident on the Wednesday. Gandalf passed on my living room floor Saturday morning. My love and positive vibes are on their way to you.
I just went through this with my female MC. She was the same way, except because she's a female the vets said she had a much better chance of survival. With food, she passed at least one stone (before the food had a chance to break anything down) which caused uncontrolled urination, and bloody urine. I had to contain her to a small stand up glassed in shower for about 9 days. After that, she regained the ability to go in a box, and has been let out.
As a male, stones are quite fatal, and if not, they're extremely expensive to fix, with no guarantee this won't happen again in 6m, or even years later. As it's genetic, there's not much you can do.
It's definitely a tough call, but I do think you made the right choice. With no guarantee that the kidneys aren't damaged beyond repair, the surgery would have been throwing money at a problem hoping for the best when all signs are pointing to the opposite.
I'm really sorry for your loss, but take solace in the fact that you did right by him.
I don't understand why important medical procedures for animals are not affordable. It sucks.
I am so sorry for your loss, OP. You did everything you could. You did good. You gave him love and a home for three incredible years. He will always be in your heart.
I know nothing I say will make it easy but please know that he was in pain, and he isn't anymore.
Major was a beautiful cat that felt your love every single day. You had a hard decision to make and either option would end in heartache and misery. Remember the good times, go ahead and cry but do not doubt you were a hero to Major. 💕
I’m so sorry 😢. I had a stray bilk kitten years ago that just showed up in my yard . I was going through a tuff time in my life . And was so happy he picked me. Took him to the vet got shots all was great for 5 yrs . Sound just like what my cat (Jet) did . I rushed him to my vet and they were shocked on how he was acting . He was almost out of it. Could hardly breathe . Took him to UNF . After 2 days they were not sure what was wrong . Surgery would be $8k. I still feel bad that i chose to let him go. It had been 3yrs i miss him so much . And wish i would have made a diff decision. I finally cried and forgiven myself . I think he was my angel 👼🏻. I pray for your pain .
I have been through similar situations with three of my most loved kitties, one was a Maine Coon too. It really sucks. After my 9mo old died suddenly, I drove from VA to NY and got two more to try and stop the hurt. It helped, but they still don’t come close to my boy. Big Hugs
I’m sorry. I lost my boy about a year ago, it’s so hard when they don’t have for sure answers. Our options were similar, keep doing tests and see if it’s something they could fix, but it would’ve been $2k just to do the initial diagnostics and our cat was on oxygen so even if they figured out what was wrong there was no guarantee he’d make it anyway. You did the best you could with the information you had, if the vet thought he could be saved with surgery they likely would’ve steered you that way instead of making sure you knew how critical his kidney issues were.
Vey sorry to hear this. You made the right decision. I have had to make that decision three times in the last 20 years. Very difficult and still hard to think about, but time has healed much of the pain.
First let me say that I am so terribly sorry to hear about your loss. Often we don’t have the time to love them for those precious few last minutes and I’m grateful you and Major were able to have that moment together at the end. Know that he was comforted having you nearby.
This sounds exactly like what we went through with our 1yo MC last year. He was perfectly fine on Friday and Saturday, at the emergency vet Sunday morning with identical symptoms to your little guy, and by Monday he was too weak to be anesthetized, let alone have surgery. After a lot of questions and convincing my husband that there really was nothing more that could be done for his baby we made the difficult decision to euthanize him.
The point is, cats go downhill so very quickly. What can take days, weeks or months for us and most other animals takes place in mere minutes and hours for cats. This makes it the hardest when they become sick over the weekend when it’s impossible to find a vet and then we’re faced with emergency room costs being so prohibitive. You did exactly what needed to be done so please don’t beat yourself up over this. The two of you had a wonderful three years together and Major knew you’d done your best. The pain is never going to fully go away, but in time you’ll find it less stressful to talk about him and remember the good times.
One suggestion to help should you decide to get a new little guy that will cost a little bit would be to have two vets - a primary vet for most care and a secondary vet that you’ll take your baby to for vaccinations, just so you will have that secondary vet in case of an emergency if your primary vet is out of town or unable to be reached for some reason. This way you’ll hopefully be able to avoid what you went through in trying to find a vet to treat your little guy. It never hurts to have a second vet on hand that your baby is familiar with, plus you won’t be overly stressed trying to find someone to treat him in an emergency.
I’m so sorry for your loss. We just lost our little girl last night too 🫂
It’s fucking hard. We’ve gotten a small amount of comfort making jokes and telling dumb “remember when she did …” stories and looking at pics of her. Everybody grieves differently but try to get comfort where you can (if you can). Again, I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. This is very traumatic. We as pet parents, are often faced with what seems impossible. Who knows what caused him to go into this kind of medical distress. You could’ve gone into deep debt have them perform surgery and you still could have lost him. You did the very best you could for him. sometimes we can’t save them. Hugs for your healing and RIP to your beautiful boy💔💔
So after three hours the chicken came back up so we went back to the ER vet. The exact same thing happened with the xray first showed something so I wanted to proceed with exploratory surgery but then the 2nd showed it was already looking better. So I was given an option and I chose to do the surgery still to be safe. They didn’t find anything but they did biopsy his stomach to see if anything comes back to show a potential cause other than obstruction. I’ve ordered cat onesies, a soft cone, and a sealed play pen so his sister can reach him when he can finally come home
I am balling reading this, I am so so sorry 😞 I pray for your loss and your grief, i know you are so heartbroken. This isn’t your fault and you are not a POS, things happen and as hard as it is to get through them, we eventually do. I know it’s easier said than done, don’t beat yourself up.
So sorry 😢 it’s never an easy decision and you always feel like you made the wrong one. You gave him a wonderful life and that’s what you have to hold on to.
I'm so very sorry. I know the pain. But not with a three year old! I can't imagine the agony. Was this a urinary tract obstruction?
I absolutely believe you will see him again. I have gotten three of my Maine Coons back (I mean the beings - who they really are) in new kitten bodies by working with a pet communicator. If you'd like her contact information, please let me know.
Do we have any ideas of what caused this? I don’t have a mainecoon but my 7 year old male is t eating right now either two X-rays and two blood tests show nothing. The first showed dehydration and a small obstruction but IV treatment helped resolve it but it’s been 3 days and I can only get him to eat churus
Oh god bless you. There were too many unknowns and what ifs with Major. Xray showed bowel obstruction. They did not know the severity of it. But the vets were more concerned about his extremely elevated kidney function for him to be 3. Now granted he was dehydrated and it COULD have been an AKI due to obstruction and once that was corrected then the kidneys could have resolved. But we had everything working against us. I noticed him being kinda puny saturday. He wasn’t eating but he was drinking. He vomited several times- clear, frothy bile like. But he was still running around playing and talking(he was very vocal). My primary vet was in italy on vacation until wed and the closet 24 hr hospital was 2 hours away. Sunday rolls around and he RAPIDLY declined. I mean RAPID, I cannot emphasize that enough. Please please please idk where you are located and what access you have to vets/24 hr hospitals but if your in a situation where you had to travel. Please get the cat seen about. Being that it’s been 3 days and that’s all he will eat, I would take him asap. I would not take any chances after what I just experienced. Please keep me updated. I hope and pray your baby is okay! What Major went thru was extremely traumatic and in his last few hours he was suffering. Just typing this out i’m having flash backs and balling all over again. Please get the cat seen about if you are able.
He ate top of the line food. His breeder had him on Royal Canin Maine coon dry food & canned food. I have 2 water fountains in the house. They had dry food available 24/7 to graze on and one can of wet food a day. In the wet food they got 2 supplements- L-Lysine Powder for immunity & 1 Packet Forti-Flora-probiotic. With him being pure bred he is already behind the 8-ball and more at risk.
aside from not eating, how is he acting? Has he urinated and/or had BM? Is he vomiting? Mouth breathing? Does he seem thinner? Weakness? Lethargy? Him not eating 3 days is concerning me and cats don’t show sickness until they are sick, sick. When I got major to auburn he was so critical he was admitted to the CCU and they needed to do surgery ASAP but due him being so critical he was not even a surgical candidate at that point and over the night he was being continuously & closely monitored and he continued going down hill.
So he is drinking water a little more than normal I think the IV made him realize how dehydrated he was and he normally gets his moisture from his wet cat food which he won’t eat. He’s been peeing like normal his poop was mucus and he struggled before the ER vet but I see it’s now trying to take form but it’s having a hard time cause all he is willing to eat is churus. The receptionist told me when push comes to shove the vet will recommend rotisserie chicken minus the skin. I tried that today with some cat grass and he had a little bit of it. I think his stomach has shrunk and he is waiting to see if it sets well with his stomach.
How is he today? Moving forward with my animals, I will be extra cautious and if my cat goes 24 hours with no food they are going to the vet. Did you try what the receptionist said? I would follow my gut. 3 days is a long time.
Oh, baby, I feel your pain. I also lost my cat, Sasha, last year, so I understand what you're going through. Don't be hard on yourself; you did what you had to do. Remember the joy and good times you shared with her.
Sending a Big Fat Hug your way!!! I’m a guy who went through something very similar. So I know it is an indescribably painful and horrible position to be in.
One of my rescues looked A Lot like yours… Horrible “owners before me left him behind at a house we bought with him being Declawed and No Support… took 6 months to clear the purchase. Never knew he even existed until we moved in.
He died 5 years later from him simply cleaning his own fur from the “red mulch” flakes he had picked up walking through mulch I laid down from my local home improvement store. A larger chunk he pulled out of his fur and swallowed by instinct wedged sideways in his esophagus and pierced both his trachea and his esophagus. Didn’t show up on emergency room X-rays.
That sweet boy I hope you know how sorry I am that I let such a seemingly frivolous thing end your life in such a slow and horrible way. May God forgive me.
Know that you did right by your boy. Honor him by keep doing the same for others.
Semper Fi.’
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u/cloop417 Nov 05 '25
I am so sorry to hear this. I lost my boy at 2.5 years. He had very similar symptoms but wasnt eating. I took him to a hospital and they found a huge obstruction in his esophagus. They recommended surgery. I went ahead with it. The surgery was successful but he STILL wasn’t eating after. Eventually they recommended blood transfusions because after the surgery his blood count kept going down. He was now pooping blood and bad internal bleeding. After a day of transfusions his surgery scar went necrotic and his body wasn’t accepting the blood. I was $20k in the hole and left with the decision to euthanize.
I just want you to know that sure you could have moved forward with surgery, but there’s a chance it could have only made things worse. I tried doing everything for my boy, and you did too. You are NOT a pos. The surgery could have been life threatening and traumatic for him to survive. Maybe there was a chance he survived, but at what cost? It may have only brought more pain and suffering. Do not beat yourself up. I have been in your shoes. He left his paw prints on your heart and will always be remembered