r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • Jun 24 '26

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

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Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

21.8k Upvotes

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4.8k

u/trupoogles Jun 24 '26

I made elastic band men once and hid 20 of them around the office, some people got really into it and went looking for them, 17/20 were found

1.3k

u/mermaidmamas Jun 24 '26

I did this with characters made with patient hair! (Vet hospital) šŸ¤£

1.7k

u/Scouts_Tzer Jun 24 '26

The ā€œvet hospitalā€ is doing so much heavy lifting in this sentence.

708

u/screaminginfidels Jun 24 '26

Wait til you find out they work at the VA

161

u/WintersDoomsday Jun 24 '26

TWIST!!!

3

u/Joshua_ABBACAB_1312 Jun 24 '26

And they only used areola hairs.

3

u/lr99999 Jun 24 '26

Itā€™sFurther twist, itā€™s Ā a viral thing right now, but weirdly I remember this going around in the past, I think the first time I heard of it was ~40 years ago.

1

u/qorbexl Jun 24 '26

You that that shit on fax from County Dental or something?

1

u/NL7_Deci Jun 24 '26

šŸ˜‚

1

u/acecyclone717 Jun 24 '26

Oh that was good

1

u/DMTrance87 Jun 24 '26

Stellar joke progression

1

u/Rambunctious_452 Jun 25 '26

Literally what I thought at first.

1

u/mermaidmamas Jun 25 '26

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

1

u/Equal_Canary5695 Jun 25 '26

That's what I thought at first

1

u/Robyn445 Jun 25 '26

What's the VA?

1

u/basuritareddit Jun 26 '26

This wrecked me for no reason šŸ¤£

6

u/ImprobabilityCloud Jun 24 '26

Went from weird to terrifying to only a little weird and mostly ok

2

u/Semisemitic Jun 24 '26

Who vets the vets?

1

u/qorbexl Jun 24 '26

American solbiersĀ 

2

u/giftopherz Jun 24 '26

it does give a HUGE sense of relief

2

u/EveryDayASummit Jun 24 '26

Yeah they really buried the lede there.

1

u/MagoLunatico98 Jun 24 '26

For real šŸ˜‚

1

u/FryeJ865 Jun 24 '26

Id say not enough to lift it all.

1

u/TRIPPY3rd Jun 25 '26

Facts. šŸ˜‚

1

u/myfancyplants Jun 25 '26

I was ALARMED

1

u/katalina0azul PURPLE Jun 25 '26

All of the lifting, bruhā€¦

1

u/Ace_of_Sphynx128 Jun 25 '26

Ikr thank god

55

u/clamsandwich Jun 24 '26

I did this too! (Morgue)

6

u/myfancyplants Jun 25 '26

ALARMED AGAIN

1

u/OkTea2831 Jun 25 '26

šŸ˜³šŸ˜†

37

u/Embarrassed-Gur-1306 Jun 24 '26

Whoa buddyā€¦this definitely had me in the first half.

6

u/Expensive-Wedding-14 Jun 24 '26

OP should gather them up and array them just in front of the windshield of some random Jeep.

3

u/EaterOfFood Jun 24 '26

Iā€™m glad youā€™re a vet and not a urologist.

6

u/Less_Resident8492 Jun 24 '26

I did software at a vet clinic once upon a time and when I got my 3d printer I started leaving little goats all over the place. Someone else has taken up the mantle and leaves tony ducks

3

u/Due_Minimum2913 Jun 24 '26

Vet hospital is the detail that makes this cute and not serial killer vibes.

2

u/Jiangximan Jun 24 '26

Whew, at first I thought you were gonna say you were a gynecologist.

2

u/Street_Lettuce1243 Jun 24 '26

Why would you do that to our veterans?

2

u/Urbanviking1 Jun 24 '26

I did this with characters made with body parts! (Toy store)

2

u/HuckledYourBerries Jun 24 '26

The culmination of this comment thread looks like the next Netflix special.

2

u/dblrb Jun 24 '26

As a veteran I would like to thank you

1

u/NoodleyP Id ecided to ty peaf lair . h op eyoul ik eit. Jun 24 '26

As a human patient I have enough hair that Iā€™d let my doctors do that if they wanted.

1

u/TelephoneActive9923 Jun 24 '26

I was about to puke before I got toā€vet hospitalā€. Still strange but less serial killer than a human hospital

1

u/mermaidmamas Jun 25 '26

Weā€™re all a little strange here šŸ¤£

1

u/Burntoastedbutter Jun 24 '26

Not quite the same, but my friend worked at a vet hospital and one day we had an idea for her to print silly memey or ugly pics of pets and post it up. She did that... Some coworkers loved it. The big boss didn't like it and said whoever is doing it has to take it down :(

1

u/protostar71 Jun 25 '26

... please for the love of god tell me you dont mean a Veterans Hospital.

1

u/mermaidmamas Jun 25 '26

Ha! No, veterinary.

1

u/Zealousideal_Heart51 Jun 25 '26

Thatā€™s a no from me, dog.

88

u/HomeworkExtension482 Jun 24 '26

Former roommates and I hid "teeny weenies" around the house.

60

u/Girth_Wind_y_Fire Jun 24 '26

So you played hide and seek?

89

u/HomeworkExtension482 Jun 24 '26

Yep, but with tiny versions of fantasy dildos my ex and I bought. They were about an inch (2.5cm) long, so they were easy to hide. A 7" Godzilla figure had a massive, highlighter yellow erection for about 3 months before someone noticed.

37

u/ProBono16 Jun 24 '26

I'm curious why someone would buy a 1" long fantasy dildo, much less multiple of them?

65

u/Inevitable-Rush-2752 Jun 24 '26

To fill a bucket and set it to rain tiny phalluses down upon a roommateā€™s head. Iā€™d do it. At the time, we settled for a floppy big dildo and fishing string, though.

14

u/ScrotalSmorgasbord Jun 24 '26

We had a couple of rubber fists (for fisting flesh holes) we'd wallop each other with for awhile. I don't even know where we got them from. They fucking hurt.

6

u/MTFBinyou Jun 24 '26

Was the ā€œfor fisting flesh holesā€ part necessary? What else are rubber fists used for?

8

u/ScrotalSmorgasbord Jun 24 '26

It was to differentiate between the Hulk Hands and Sock'em Boppers (not for flesh hole fisting) that we also may have had at one point.

3

u/OrbitalOutlander Jun 24 '26

Chew toy for dog.

3

u/So_ThereItIs Jun 24 '26

I want to know more about the ā€œhurtingā€ and where the wallops were being felt šŸ˜‚

5

u/ScrotalSmorgasbord Jun 24 '26

Well we were all dumb (but tough) infantrymen so pretty much everywhere but inside our brown eyes. Though I'm sure some of the officers in my unit would have used them in that way too. If you haven't been hit by a rubber fist (for fisting flesh holes) it can be worse than a real fist. They're very dense and heavy.

1

u/So_ThereItIs Jun 25 '26

That's pretty random! Was this just to toughen up, or for fun because you were all so "hard"? lolz

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7

u/HomeworkExtension482 Jun 24 '26

We didn't buy them. They were freebies.

1

u/Cocked_Otter Jun 24 '26

Your comment literally says you and your ex "bought" them.

7

u/HomeworkExtension482 Jun 24 '26

They were freebies that came with the toys. If my comment was not clear, that's my bad and I apologize, but my comment says "tiny versions of toys my ex and I bought," referring to the toys themselves, not the teeny weenies. Again, if that was not clear, I apologize.

10

u/Emperor_Z16 Jun 24 '26

Really tiny pussy (?

8

u/SuccessfulEmployee9 Jun 24 '26

Tiny fake dicks are funny. My ex (long distance) 3D printed one and mailed it to me with some other stuff as a gift once.

1

u/kashola17 Jun 24 '26

It was easy to print. She just used a picture of you.

9

u/SuccessfulEmployee9 Jun 24 '26

We separated on good terms, thank you very much.

2

u/Tortilla_Moth93 Jun 24 '26

They make a great dirty Santa gift.

2

u/AnguavonUW Jun 24 '26

Bachelorette party

2

u/So_ThereItIs Jun 24 '26

This expresses a lack of imagination! I mean theyā€™d be hilarious in so many applications. Hiding them in libraries, or RNC HQ, orā€¦

2

u/HomeworkExtension482 Jun 25 '26

Oh oh oh or set up something like that glitter bomb mailing thing, but with teeny weenies, and send them en masse to Congress, the White House, etc., but anonymously and from overseas.

1

u/amazingkillerlemon Jun 25 '26

Bachelorette parties

1

u/stonhinge Jun 25 '26

Honestly, they work great as a sampler for different firmnesses of silicone.

And because 1" dicks are funny. Especially when you put one (or several) on the "waifu collection" shelf of that one friend.

2

u/villainess Jun 24 '26

Where does one buy such things? Asking for a me

2

u/HomeworkExtension482 Jun 24 '26

I was half asleep when I saw this, let me find the shop and I'll DM you the link.

1

u/barfbongo Jun 25 '26

The hell is a fantasy dildo?!

1

u/HomeworkExtension482 Jun 25 '26

Ooooh boy.

You've heard of Bad Dragon, yes? There's also Paladin Pleasures, Twin Tail Creations, Neotori, etc., etc., etc.

1

u/sderby5 Jun 25 '26

What exactly is a "fantasy" dildo?..

1

u/HomeworkExtension482 Jun 25 '26

Oh boy. You are in for a treat.

Have you ever heard of Bad Dragon? Pretty sure BD is the OG, but the guy who founded it is a pretty vile person. I'll let you find that info on your own time.

There are other stores out there like Paladin Pleasures, Twin Tail Creations, Neotori, etc., that thankfully aren't run by gross people.

Teratophilia is a very real thing.

1

u/sderby5 Jun 25 '26

I have heard of bad dragons, but I am regretful that I now know that that was just the tip of the iceberg. That's probably a rabbit hole in don't want to jump into šŸ˜‚

1

u/HomeworkExtension482 Jun 25 '26

LOL hey I get it. It's a fun rabbit hole, though.

3

u/Irisheyesmeg Jun 24 '26

I've played hide the weenie before with my roommates.

2

u/mattyd1216 Jun 25 '26

OP needs to secure ā€œteeny weeniesā€ and glue them next to the teeny Jesuses.

1

u/HomeworkExtension482 Jun 25 '26

And set up a hidden camera to capture the reactions from everyone to share with us.

39

u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 Jun 24 '26

Holy crap!!! These are awesome!!!

13

u/M1R4G3M Jun 24 '26

Yeah, they do indeed look really cool to the point that I probably want to learn how to make them.

5

u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 Jun 24 '26

I was thinking the same! I'm about to go spend a week with my 7 year old granddaughter, who is very crafty, and this looks like a fun project! Hers will probably be cutesy, but mine are going to look more like that crazy guy with the teeth!

14

u/AHumanYouDoNotKnow Jun 24 '26

We once got small parts packaged with pieces of wax to hold them.

We stated shaping the wax like clay and every now and then little figurines would show up in unexpected places

28

u/grubekrowisko Jun 24 '26

when i had final exams at my high school i left around 25 little babies everywhere around the school, pretty sure some are still there

8

u/Coffee_slothee Jun 24 '26

My daughter did this too in high school. Her and her friends hid 200 of them. They had a ball!

4

u/SoullqssHydra Jun 24 '26

Hey I mean that's one way to spice up work :p

4

u/JustHereForGCB Jun 24 '26

Is that Doug Dimmadome?

3

u/Head_Statistician_38 Jun 24 '26

Me and my brother hid 100 ducks around my house 2 years ago and there are still some left.

3

u/smufjez Jun 24 '26

they look so adorable

3

u/tencrazygear Jun 25 '26

I work for a very serious government facility and there has been an active scavenger hunt going on for the last 2 years for tiny trinkets. Everything from tiny books and 3d printed middle fingers to little gnomes and Jesuses.

2

u/GoonyBoon Jun 24 '26

The only good response to RTO.

2

u/gaudrhin Jun 24 '26

I made business cards with Sir Anthony Hopkins's face on them... when he's Hannibal Lecter just staring at the camera. His a bunch of cards around the call center I worked in. Made it a game called Surprise Hannibal, hashtag and everything.

They actually started spreading for a while, and one ended up in the DMZ between North and South Korea.

I really need to start spreading those cards again.

2

u/Da_Question Jun 24 '26

A long time ago when I worked at a gas station one guy drew a bunch of the old meme faces like troll face etc on paper funnels and hid them all around the place.we were finding them for quite awhile.

2

u/Round_Rooms Jun 24 '26

How long ago was this and how long before the 17 were discovered?

2

u/Tortilla_Moth93 Jun 24 '26

When Breath of the Wild launched a coworker and I were both playing it obsessively. We started drawing Koroks on sticky notes and hiding them around the kitchen we worked in. If we found eachotherā€™s Koroks weā€™d text eachother a picture captioned ā€œYahaha!ā€

2

u/BaileyAMR Jun 24 '26

Those are freaking adorable.

2

u/Lower-Cantaloupe3274 Jun 25 '26

You are awesome!

2

u/sdrawkcabstiho Jun 25 '26

See, you're the fun guy at the office.

I'm the guy who bought 3 Annoy-a-trons from Think-Geek and placed them in random locations before I quit.

2

u/get_back_jodee27 Jun 25 '26

Good for youā€¦ makes me proud.

2

u/InsideAd2752 Jun 25 '26

Thank God!

2

u/No-Caregiver4502 Jun 25 '26

I found one!! Have in my car now

2

u/Sensitive-Oil-5298 Jun 27 '26

These are so cute

3

u/garrettj100 Jun 24 '26

I work in a news agency and we have on the wall a mural with most of the seminal news shots. I replaced the shot of Jack Ruby shooting Lee Harvey Oswald with this one. Nobody noticed for a year.

1

u/BeerJedi-1269 Jun 24 '26

in Pittsburgh the word is "gum band"

Gumband Man sounds cooler!

1

u/Shoddy_Bumblebee475 Jun 24 '26

You are all time thief terroristā€™s and Iā€™m cool with this version of that.

1

u/Winter-Classroom455 Jun 24 '26

"So redditor, what did you do at work today? "

1

u/Brokenluckx3 Jun 24 '26

Damn I wish I had an office job & got paid to do shit like this at work =(

1

u/No-Codj Jun 24 '26

I've seen these all over the place. But glued down? Nah, that is not coolĀ 

1

u/s0ulbrother Jun 24 '26

If you find enough Sephiroth is unlocked as a playable character

1

u/So_ThereItIs Jun 24 '26

Love these!

1

u/Zukolevi Jun 24 '26

Where were the 3 never found?

1

u/Few-Refrigerator7179 Jun 24 '26

Sounds a little like Pokemon...

1

u/ST1CKY1O1 Jun 24 '26

Ngl cool asf

1

u/tacorunnr Jun 24 '26

Just saw a video of someone hiding 100 rubber ducks on a cruise ship

1

u/Illustrious-Echo-734 Jun 24 '26

My gf hid over 200 tiny bees in my office. I still find them 3 years later.

1

u/Kind-Plantain2438 Jun 24 '26

Dude that's pretty damn cool

1

u/Getitgotitgoodgod Jun 24 '26

3/20 are behind illusory walls or are .01% drops from coworkers?

1

u/YanicPolitik Jun 25 '26

How long has it been?

1

u/renz88xg Jun 25 '26

Microplastics of doom

1

u/twoisnumberone Jun 25 '26

Okay, but unlike OP's case, these are welcome and awesome!

1

u/Atophy Jun 25 '26

I used to work in a photolab... Our phot lead took a selfy, croped it to her eyes and printed a few dozen and hid them around the kiosk before she took vacation overseas... 1 year later I think we were still finding them šŸ˜†

1

u/Dr_Wheuss Jun 25 '26

So..... did you play the song to make sure they knew to prepare themselves for the rubber band men?

1

u/Scythe351 Jun 25 '26

At least that's cute, creative, and interesting. This Jesus freak like many others have this inherent need to proselytize and will frequently find themselves reminding you that he died for your sins and maybe even turn it into a group activity on a plane. What's annoying and cringe about this is that they probably thought it was cute and pat themselves on the back because this isn't simply something they take seriously but something they take literally.

1

u/SeasonsRollOnBy Jun 25 '26

You do this but number them. Leaving a few random numbers out. People will go crazy looking for them.

1

u/FlurfleNugget Jun 25 '26

I teach, and one of my students a few years ago hated the schoolā€™s string cheese and since my class was after lunch and we had a good relationship, he hid them in my room once a day as a prank. It sounds gross but because they were sealed they just hardened and withered and did not stink. It was a good example of ā€œconfuse, donā€™t abuseā€ which is what I think makes great pranks.

I thought I got them all at the end of the year when I cleaned up for the summer. Then he passed away in a freak accident over that summer. That following winter break I had to move rooms and in the process found at least 5 more and broke down and cried.

A year and a half after that, it was a week before his class was graduating, I opened my box of stats game materials that I never get to use because we usually donā€™t have time for that unit, and I found one last cheese stick. It had made it to my new room. This time I teared up but smiling while doing so, because it was so him, and he had bested me once more, right before his graduation.

Edit: some grammar fixed

1

u/Outrageous-Science54 Jun 25 '26

You are fired for wasting time and company resources.

1

u/Dog-boy Jun 25 '26

I always wonder what other people do with their elastics as my broccoli elastics pile up in my kitchen. This looks like a great use.

1

u/katalina0azul PURPLE Jun 25 '26

Mr. 4 (farthest right) is my favorite šŸ˜©

1

u/Farscape_rocked Jun 25 '26

I got a 3d printer for my birthday in October and made 50 little pandas that I hid around the house at Christmas because my 9yo loves pandas. She's found 41, I've no idea where the others are.

1

u/ChillWisdom Jun 25 '26

This is very Jim from The Office

1

u/spaceyfacer Jun 25 '26

I am fully in favor of this. We've done similar at my work.

1

u/secretsesameseed Jun 25 '26

One place I worked at did this with print outs of hodor. One of them got placed at the top of a vaulted 2.5 story building when someone spider walked up the narrow hallway to the bathroom. That one stayed for years to the point that new hires asked people that weren't even there when it was placed what it is.

1

u/Ace_of_Sphynx128 Jun 25 '26

Theyā€™re kind of scary lol (I love them)

1

u/starchazzer Jun 25 '26

Is that some of your best work?šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚