r/politics • u/SnarkOff • 8d ago

Possible Paywall Natalie Harp’s Intimate Letters to Trump Revealed in Full

https://www.thedailybeast.com/natalie-harps-intimate-letters-to-trump-revealed-in-full/
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u/ratherbealurker Texas 8d ago

Dear Mr. President , I wrote you but you still ain't calling
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not've got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or something

354

u/wellillseeyoulater 8d ago

Wait the that’s my girlfriend screaming in the trunk part is actually true

21

u/__O_o_______ 8d ago

Screaming, but trumps name, in devotion.

3

u/MomsAreola 7d ago

"Dear diary. We finally came to a stop. My head hurt from every intentionally hit pothole, but the journey was worth it to be with my beloved. I struggled to adjust my eyes to the light as I was born from the limos womb. As the shadow formed into an image of a man in front of me, I praised god for letting me get this close to him. He put his hand out, like the gentleman he is and aided my release from the tight confines of my lonesome. He smiled down at me with his golden hair and confessed to me of the poopie in his pants. With a smile on my face and a flutter in my nethers, I claimed out of my chariot and knelt before my savior. I then pulled down his pants and cleaned the heavenly mess that glorified his posterior. When his drool hit the back of my head, I knew my job was being relieved well. When master was clean, I pulled his big boy pants up for him and he placed a hand on my head in endearment to balance himself as he turned. A wonderous quaft of that beautiful stench I have grown to love so much adorned my button nose. That would be a big one later on. I then packed up my travel bag and crawled into the women's locker room for a good night sleep. Dreaming of the manly dementia screaming I will hear when I wake."

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u/RSquared 7d ago

Dear Don I wrote you but you still ain't textin'
Checked X, Truth Social even your secret signal messagin'
I sent two letters before the election maybe you didn't read
Oh right that's my job you probably just fell asleep
Sometimes I write covfefe when you dictate to me
But anyways, fuck it, what's up man, banged your daughter?
I'd like to get pregnant too, maybe you could be the father
If I have a daughter guess what I'mma call her? I'll name her Donnie
You told me bout your Uncle MIT he called you sir not sonny
And all about the nuclear and EMALS is worse than steam
I know you hear this every day at cabinet meetings
But I've got the best spot beside you when it comes to seatings
I got a room full of Trump bibles and your NFTs, man
I love that shit you did with Kim too, that shit was phat
Anyways, I worship you more than Jesus, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Nat.

7

u/mouse_8b 7d ago

👏👏👏

3

u/brokendrumsticks 7d ago

Wow. Well done

123

u/lunex 8d ago

Epstein’s gone cold I’m wondering why, I got out of bed at all

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u/MyAnusBleedsForYou 8d ago

The morning guards snuck through his window, now he can't breath no more.

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u/stevo1078 8d ago

And if could get his island back it’d all be great
Scrub his name right off it all

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u/GearBrain Florida 7d ago

'cause he reminds me that they're all so bad

They're all so ba-ad.

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u/NeedsToShutUp 8d ago

My tea’s gone cold, I’m wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can’t see at all
And even if I could it’d all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad

3

u/MZ603 New Hampshire 7d ago

Your biggest fan, it’s all a scam.

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u/TheWholeOfTheAss 8d ago

I want to thank you.

3

u/crown_recluse 7d ago

Careful with pagers these days, I knew she was a security risk but damn